How do you deal with your family?

ayedan

5 am in Toronto
Hello guys, this is my 100th post on this site. I wanted to talk about a subject that bothers me to talk about, and that is life. My life lately has not been swell bcz my family isnt getting along and is constantly fighting. Everyday, I have to hear people yelling at each other and talk shit its really annoying and makes me sad. Also, i cant see my little brother bcz i was adopted by my grandma and we no longer see my biological mom, who has my baby brother. I was wondering how do u guys deal with fights in ur family or in general?
 
Loud Jewish mum that screams if the climate doesn't agree with her or if her paperclips are in the wrong place here. Not sure if it's possible in your situation but if my mum starts screaming or has her one of her batshit attacks for no reason ever since the age of about 13 I just leave the house. From my experience fighting and screaming is more likely the more people there are to observe it. My mum and older brother used to fight a lot (he's moved out now) but I learnt how to deal with it from him. Leave. The moment somebody is getting a bit too loud just leave and go for a walk, staying and watching does nothing and possibly makes things worse.
 

Tenebricite

Leader of the Pawniards
is a Tiering Contributor
Hello guys, this is my 100th post on this site. I wanted to talk about a subject that bothers me to talk about, and that is life. My life lately has not been swell bcz my family isnt getting along and is constantly fighting. Everyday, I have to hear people yelling at each other and talk shit its really annoying and makes me sad. Also, i cant see my little brother bcz i was adopted by my grandma and we no longer see my biological mom, who has my baby brother. I was wondering how do u guys deal with fights in ur family or in general?
Does your family have good communication? It's a simple suggestion, but perhaps you guys should adopt a sort of system where you all calm down and address your problems in a respectful manner and what needs to be done to fix them.
 
Loud Jewish mum that screams if the climate doesn't agree with her or if her paperclips are in the wrong place here. Not sure if it's possible in your situation but if my mum starts screaming or has her one of her batshit attacks for no reason ever since the age of about 13 I just leave the house. From my experience fighting and screaming is more likely the more people there are to observe it. My mum and older brother used to fight a lot (he's moved out now) but I learnt how to deal with it from him. Leave. The moment somebody is getting a bit too loud just leave and go for a walk, staying and watching does nothing and possibly makes things worse.
Completely agreed. Thank god is hasn't come to the point where you got into a real argument with your mom and dad, LucarioAidan. If that were the case, you would have to endure the whole argument and sit in the first row.
 

Tenebricite

Leader of the Pawniards
is a Tiering Contributor
No, we don't talk to my biological mom, brother, or dad at all. Also, we won't ever talk to them again since a situation happened between us. So trying to resolve them is not happening
Generally, resolving things respectfully is the way to go before trying to outlast conflicts by shutting yourself out or avoiding your family. Avoiding talking to each other even if a "situation" occurred only extends the problem and makes it more painful. Are your sure there's no way you could get your family together to talk it out? Perhaps you could organize a time?
 

Flare

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Eh when I'm not in the mood to argue with my mother or my older brother if we're having a disagreement, I just pretend that they are right about everything and either ignore them or leave the place, in some cases I just put on my headphones and distract myself with music.
 
Eh when I'm not in the mood to argue with my mother or my older brother if we're having a disagreement, I just pretend that they are right about everything and either ignore them or leave the place, in some cases I just put on my headphones and distract myself with music.
I think the effectiveness of every action depends on the person youre dealing with. There are some people in my family for example where stuff like that would not work. They would want to know why i would be saying that, while screaming at me.
 

Flare

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I think the effectiveness of every action depends on the person youre dealing with. There are some people in my family for example where stuff like that would not work. They would want to know why i would be saying that, while screaming at me.
That's true, though, sometimes people are so angered during a fight that they can't get their thoughts right and just shout out whatever comes to their mind, and is super difficult (if not impossible) to get to an agreement with them or at least make them change their mind.

Forgot to mention that sometimes I just stay silent while listening to them until they vent off enough and calm themselves.
 

Soul Fly

IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
is a Contributor Alumnus
Hello guys, this is my 100th post on this site. I wanted to talk about a subject that bothers me to talk about, and that is life. My life lately has not been swell bcz my family isnt getting along and is constantly fighting. Everyday, I have to hear people yelling at each other and talk shit its really annoying and makes me sad. Also, i cant see my little brother bcz i was adopted by my grandma and we no longer see my biological mom, who has my baby brother. I was wondering how do u guys deal with fights in ur family or in general?
Grew up in a home where parents fought all the time, and treated me in all sorts of little unkind/patronising manners. Anyone who has interacted with me knows I'm prone to insecurity and agitation. I understand this affects us more than it should because we grow up believing our parents to be the best in the world. That's unfair both to us and them. They are human after all and it is not reasonable to ask for perfection.

Don't condone their faults, but do try to be forgiving and learn to find your own rhythm in life, and that allows you to deal with it better. Otherwise you risk victimising yourself to the depths of hell, becoming overly bitter and cynical, and lose the backbone to confront bad problems. It's frustrating but there is no reason not to take charge of yourself and try making life a bit easier for the both of you. At least that's what I think.
 

Ohmachi

Sun✡Head
Loud Jewish mum that screams if the climate doesn't agree with her or if her paperclips are in the wrong place here. Not sure if it's possible in your situation but if my mum starts screaming or has her one of her batshit attacks for no reason ever since the age of about 13 I just leave the house. From my experience fighting and screaming is more likely the more people there are to observe it. My mum and older brother used to fight a lot (he's moved out now) but I learnt how to deal with it from him. Leave. The moment somebody is getting a bit too loud just leave and go for a walk, staying and watching does nothing and possibly makes things worse.
Have you tried becoming a doctor ?
 

Cresselia~~

Junichi Masuda likes this!!
I have a physically abusive mum and we just don't live together.

But I understand that life wasn't easy for her, since my grandma was very sexist and only gave good stuff to her sons.
(Grandma didn't even give mum any meat to eat... or any milk to drink. Only the sons could drink milk and eat meat.)
 

deetah

Grief is the price of love
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My mom and dad often fight, and it's always very hard on me since I've always been a sensitive person in general. Usually I isolate myself in my room and listen to music when it's happening, or I just leave for a bit.
 
Grew up in a home where parents fought all the time, and treated me in all sorts of little unkind/patronising manners. Anyone who has interacted with me knows I'm prone to insecurity and agitation. I understand this affects us more than it should because we grow up believing our parents to be the best in the world. That's unfair both to us and them. They are human after all and it is not reasonable to ask for perfection.

Don't condone their faults, but do try to be forgiving and learn to find your own rhythm in life, and that allows you to deal with it better. Otherwise you risk victimising yourself to the depths of hell, becoming overly bitter and cynical, and lose the backbone to confront bad problems. It's frustrating but there is no reason not to take charge of yourself and try making life a bit easier for the both of you. At least that's what I think.
this is great advice;

Just so that I have something of value to add: the moment you stop holding the people you respect up to a high standard, you're able to get on with your life and decide how you want to live and set about accomplishing it. Dealing with family can be really difficult, but learning how interactions with family change(especially as you get older) is part of growing up.
 
I haven't spoken to my Family in quite a while.

I never got along with my sisters or my mom so when I moved out three years into Highschool I kind of cut communications.

I call and visit every now and then.
 

OLD GREGG (im back baby)

old gregg for life
Small doses peoples. Well, maybe big doses if you're into that sort of thing. Social interaction is not my strong suit and pretty draining on my energy. I have a very high energy but conversation is very draining to me and I need time to adjust after a big get together. Some people may get energized from being around and interacting with a lot of people. I get drained from these activities and left feeling a bit dazed. This is especially true when it comes to family that isn't immediate. I can be around my immediate family with no worries but when it comes to people I haven't seen in years...the social anxiety comes into play a good bit. This is multiplied by the fact that family you haven't seen in awhile typically expect a decent visit and I'll be ready to dip after ten minutes. As long as I can keep it short and sweet, though...Its all good.
 
I can't remember the last time I had any form of drama with my family members since majority of the time we are very civil. But usually after an argument we just each go to our own rooms and let the tension die off and 9 times out of 10 we forget about it the next day and move on.
 
I'm not a much with my familly, we have different schedules and when we meet i try to don't speak them a lot when we're tired, for avoid problems
 

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