So a while ago I was drawing. What was I drawing? Idk some big boobie anime ladies I think, I don't remember. What's important is that I was drawing, and when I draw, I think
This is a very dangerous habit of mine
So I was drawing, and I was thinking. I was thinking about my current desktop wallpaper. It was some dumb shit I drew a few months ago, so I thought it was great when I drew it but now think it's a piece of utter dogshite. So I was drawing, and the rusty cogs in the old noggin started a-turning. And I started thinking, what if I made myself another desktop wallpaper? Then I said to myself, I said "Albatross you're a goddamn genius, it's no wonder you're so popular and everyone loves you and you're not going to die alone with a thousand regrets and nothing to fondly look back on!"
Anyways,
I was drawing. And I was parched. I was parched because I was drawing. Because when I draw I forget to partake in basic necessities such as food, water, and toilet breaks. As such I have a bladder to rival Poseidon's. I can go without a piss for a straight 12 hours if I need to. Probably because I don't drink enough water. But that's besides the point. I was drawing, and I was aware that I was thirsty. It got to the point where the dry ass contents of my mouth could've been the inspiration for hit novel Dune (yeah, I read. Impressive, I know). Did I drink some water? Fuck no, what kinda virgin do you take me for? I sat there like an idiot with crusty ass mouth, and kept drawing
So I was drawing, and I was thirsty, and I wanted to make a new desktop wallpaper. Then it hit me. I should make a wallpaper to remind myself to drink water! That way, every time I look at my background, I'll feel the need to consume liquids! I told myself I was a goddamn genius again, then I got to work
Except because I had been drawing, I was tired. I didn't want to draw another entire desktop wallpaper. That's 1920x1080 px (or 67.73 x 38.10 cm) of drawing that I can't be fucked to make. So I did what I do best, and bullshitted it
And it worked. Now I draw, and when I draw, I look at my background, and I then drink some water
Now you may be wondering to yourself, "Albatross holy shit stop fucking talking I have the attention span of a 5 year old and that's 7 paragraphs too many for my tiny little infant brain to process, just get to the point already!" If so then fuck you buddy I'm in a talkative mood, I'm getting to the point so get off my case
Anyways,
As the title says, I Will Make You A High-Quality, Aggressive Self Care Desktop Wallpaper, akin to the one you see above you under the spoiler. It'll be done either with incredibly high quality drawings like in the example, or shit I steal off the Internet. Whichever's more convenient
Rules
A more generic piece of inspirational wisdom, but still valid
This one is more centred towards boosting the viewer's ego
Slightly more specific, but I believe it has a good message
I don't know why they're all in Impact font. I think I was making some dumb bottom text meme and forgot to turn it off, but this is what happened and we're sticking with it
Anyways go ham fellas
This is a very dangerous habit of mine
So I was drawing, and I was thinking. I was thinking about my current desktop wallpaper. It was some dumb shit I drew a few months ago, so I thought it was great when I drew it but now think it's a piece of utter dogshite. So I was drawing, and the rusty cogs in the old noggin started a-turning. And I started thinking, what if I made myself another desktop wallpaper? Then I said to myself, I said "Albatross you're a goddamn genius, it's no wonder you're so popular and everyone loves you and you're not going to die alone with a thousand regrets and nothing to fondly look back on!"
Anyways,
I was drawing. And I was parched. I was parched because I was drawing. Because when I draw I forget to partake in basic necessities such as food, water, and toilet breaks. As such I have a bladder to rival Poseidon's. I can go without a piss for a straight 12 hours if I need to. Probably because I don't drink enough water. But that's besides the point. I was drawing, and I was aware that I was thirsty. It got to the point where the dry ass contents of my mouth could've been the inspiration for hit novel Dune (yeah, I read. Impressive, I know). Did I drink some water? Fuck no, what kinda virgin do you take me for? I sat there like an idiot with crusty ass mouth, and kept drawing
So I was drawing, and I was thirsty, and I wanted to make a new desktop wallpaper. Then it hit me. I should make a wallpaper to remind myself to drink water! That way, every time I look at my background, I'll feel the need to consume liquids! I told myself I was a goddamn genius again, then I got to work
Except because I had been drawing, I was tired. I didn't want to draw another entire desktop wallpaper. That's 1920x1080 px (or 67.73 x 38.10 cm) of drawing that I can't be fucked to make. So I did what I do best, and bullshitted it
And it worked. Now I draw, and when I draw, I look at my background, and I then drink some water
Now you may be wondering to yourself, "Albatross holy shit stop fucking talking I have the attention span of a 5 year old and that's 7 paragraphs too many for my tiny little infant brain to process, just get to the point already!" If so then fuck you buddy I'm in a talkative mood, I'm getting to the point so get off my case
Anyways,
As the title says, I Will Make You A High-Quality, Aggressive Self Care Desktop Wallpaper, akin to the one you see above you under the spoiler. It'll be done either with incredibly high quality drawings like in the example, or shit I steal off the Internet. Whichever's more convenient
Rules
- Your request may not involve anything negative, such as negative imagery or messages. This is a place for calm wallpapers that ask you to take care of yourself, not loud, violent wallpapers that blast their hip hop rapster pop music at 2am and invite all their shitty friends round to steal your personal belongs. Yeah I'm referring to you, Geoffery, I told you a thousand times my grandpapa's ashes were in that urn and I need them to complete my collection
- Once you make the request, creative liberty is passed over to yours truly. So if you say, "I want a cat with a fedora telling me my fashion sense is impeccable" and I give you a cat with white fur when you wanted one with ginger fur, then don't get pissy because you didn't clarify what type of cat you wanted. Just smile because it happened
- If I get a lot of requests (not likely) then it might take a while to get through them because of the high level of effort and love I put into each wallpaper (barely any), so again, don't get pissy if it takes a while
- Should you not want any "naughty words" on your wallpaper, then please say so. If you abstain from the no-no words, then vocabulary ranging from "poo-poo head" to "shit stained freak of nature" will not feature on your wallpaper
- I'm limiting my crafts to 2 per esteemed user, so you'd better be wise about what you request bucko
A more generic piece of inspirational wisdom, but still valid
This one is more centred towards boosting the viewer's ego
Slightly more specific, but I believe it has a good message
Anyways go ham fellas
