Amazing. I have heard of exactly zero of these films
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Media itt: movie/film discussion - Beware Spoilers
- Thread starter Jebus McAzn
- Start date
It's all the obscure ones that the media doesn't want you to see.
80. Arsenal (2017) 3%
Film about mobsters and kidnapping in the deep south. Regrettably not starring Nicolas Cage or even John Cusack, but instead starring two brothers… just two brothers. Look, I don’t care. This movie was completely pointless except when Cage or Cusack are on screen. It’s notable that Nicolas Cage is playing as Eddie from Deadfall, partly because that’s one of his most outrageous characters ever, but mostly because he dies in both movies. If nothing else, this gave us one Cage’s most ridiculous lines ever. After kidnapping a teenage girl he tells the heroes, “Don’t worry. She’s too young for me. Wait a second. She’s JUST RIGHT!” And 3% on the Tomatometer will never invalidate that.
79. Guarding Tess (1994) 56%
If watching every Nicolas Cage film has taught me only one crucial life lesson, it is this: there are two kinds of terrible film. There are those with tiny budgets and poor production, and there are those with big budgets and good production, and one of these kinds of terrible film is not any better than the other. Guarding Tess, a movie where Cage is a secret service agent guarding a former first lady (Shirley MacLaine), is a constantly cringe-inducing anti-comedy with a sudden dark turn at the end involving torture and starvation. It is no less bad a movie than the 10 films that came before it, but I have to rank it higher because it was early in Cage’s career and he was starting to show some real confidence in his acting ability. Either way, definitely skippable.
78. It Could Happen to You (1994) 71%
In 1984, a police officer in New York promised to split a lottery ticket with his waitress. When he won $6 million, he stayed true to his word and split half of it. This was such an inspirational true story of generosity that it just had to be made into film, but as loosely as possible, so that the real people couldn’t collect royalties. Let that sink in. It Could Happen to You is everything gross about the 90s. It is corporate-mandated consumer naivety packaged into a 100 minute lottery advertisement.
Nicolas Cage and Bridget Fonda are so disgustingly perfect it makes you want to vomit. This is Cage playing his most honest cop ever. So to expand on an earlier point, Cage excels at playing antiheroes and scum. He should be playing roles that range from eccentric, to unhinged, to dangerous. There’s no drama when he’s a good guy. Here he is somewhat charismatic at best.
77. Grand Isle (2019) 0%
A movie about a young man accused of a murder that it’s really obvious he didn’t do. If nothing else, this film might feature Cage’s strongest performance as a main antagonist, but it’s not notable in and of itself. The lighting is frustratingly dark throughout the movie, the plot falls apart in the final act, and the main character is very poorly acted (even Kelsey Grammar does a pretty awful job as an idiotic detective).
76. Fire Birds (1990) 10%
A Top Gun sequel has been in development hell for years, but that didn’t stop Disney from trying to make one themselves. With talent like Nicolas Cage, Tommy Lee Jones, and Sean Young, the plot actually made more sense than Top Gun’s (because it made any sense). Here our helicopter pilots in training have to face down an attack helicopter hired by South American drug cartels. But a sensible story doesn’t save a film that has none of Top Gun’s charm, especially when it’s 2019 and it’s hard to be oorah about Reagan’s War on Drugs anymore. Cage himself only has a your mom joke here or there worth remembering.
75. Pay the Ghost (2015) 10%
Nicolas Cage plays a professor whose son goes missing on Halloween. It takes him a very long time to figure out that a ghost did it. Then he travels to the bad special effects dimension to take his son back. Can I let my brevity here speak for itself? It would be a genuine problem if I needed to use this cop-out again.
74. Rage (2014) 12%
Oh crap. I knew I’d be digging myself a hole with that. I had to read the Wikipedia summary to even remember Rage. Cage, a criminal, retires from crime but is drawn back into an old gang war when his daughter is kidnapped. Peter Stormare and Danny Glover are in it, so that’s something. If this film was particularly bad I would at least remember something bad about it. I wish I could at least remember something Cage does in the film. But here it is, the most forgettable movie starring Nicolas Cage.
73. Ghost Rider (2007) 27%
It is a sad state of affairs when we have to be happy that Ghost Rider exists just to give us more to talk about. Pre-2008 was home to many a mediocre superhero film. Ghost Rider is certainly nothing special, but objectively it probably doesn’t deserve to be known as one of Cage’s most hated movies. Subjectively however, this movie completely wastes the potential magic of Nicolas Cage becoming a demonic bounty hunter. As Johnny Blaze his acting isn’t noteworthy to begin with, but when he becomes the Ghost Rider, he is completely replaced with a bad CGI monstrosity, eliciting an internal sigh every time it comes on-screen (which is really not what you want from your superhero film). And yes, that does mean that Nic Cage on an off day is more interesting than a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle.
72. Vengeance: A Love Story (2017) 0%
Nicolas Cage plays a cop going outside the law to punish a group of rapists in a film adapted from the book Rape: A Love Story. I could quip about why they might have wanted to change the name, but a lack of respect for the source material is the film’s greatest downfall. I watched all of Cage’s films because he at least makes bad movies better, but this was the exception that he made worse. He is horribly miscast as an old man who is supposed to have romantic tension with a young rape victim. It’s not that he does a terrible job, but it’s the whole video on demand approach that was part and parcel with Cage at this time that ruins it. The source material could have made for an okay film, but they might as well have thrown it in the garbage. A great performance by criminally underrated actress Anna Hutchison doesn’t save it.
71. Rumble Fish (1983) 70%
Francis Ford Coppola feels like the epitome of the allegedly good director. The Godfather Part I and Part II are two of the most lionized films of all time and Apocalypse Now is one of my personal 10s. But after the 70s he really struggled to live up to that. He made two films based off the novels of S.E. Hinton, only one of which anyone remembers. This is not that film. This stars Matt Dillon as a young hoodlum and Mickey Rourke as his revered older brother who wants to put the gang life behind him. The film is a lot of Rourke spouting woke nonsense as the direction gives the movie a surreal quality. I will not pretend to have understood it outside of one good fight scene.
Nicolas Cage was born Nicolas Coppola, as in the previously mentioned director. I tell you that just in case you didn’t know it because it’s going to be relevant. Cage changed his name because he didn’t want people to think he only succeeded because of nepotism, but you’d be foolish to think nepotism didn’t help when he was in three of his uncle’s movies. He was given a very small role here, which was probably wise for a few reasons, but certainly doesn’t serve our purpose.
Film about mobsters and kidnapping in the deep south. Regrettably not starring Nicolas Cage or even John Cusack, but instead starring two brothers… just two brothers. Look, I don’t care. This movie was completely pointless except when Cage or Cusack are on screen. It’s notable that Nicolas Cage is playing as Eddie from Deadfall, partly because that’s one of his most outrageous characters ever, but mostly because he dies in both movies. If nothing else, this gave us one Cage’s most ridiculous lines ever. After kidnapping a teenage girl he tells the heroes, “Don’t worry. She’s too young for me. Wait a second. She’s JUST RIGHT!” And 3% on the Tomatometer will never invalidate that.
79. Guarding Tess (1994) 56%
If watching every Nicolas Cage film has taught me only one crucial life lesson, it is this: there are two kinds of terrible film. There are those with tiny budgets and poor production, and there are those with big budgets and good production, and one of these kinds of terrible film is not any better than the other. Guarding Tess, a movie where Cage is a secret service agent guarding a former first lady (Shirley MacLaine), is a constantly cringe-inducing anti-comedy with a sudden dark turn at the end involving torture and starvation. It is no less bad a movie than the 10 films that came before it, but I have to rank it higher because it was early in Cage’s career and he was starting to show some real confidence in his acting ability. Either way, definitely skippable.
78. It Could Happen to You (1994) 71%
In 1984, a police officer in New York promised to split a lottery ticket with his waitress. When he won $6 million, he stayed true to his word and split half of it. This was such an inspirational true story of generosity that it just had to be made into film, but as loosely as possible, so that the real people couldn’t collect royalties. Let that sink in. It Could Happen to You is everything gross about the 90s. It is corporate-mandated consumer naivety packaged into a 100 minute lottery advertisement.
Nicolas Cage and Bridget Fonda are so disgustingly perfect it makes you want to vomit. This is Cage playing his most honest cop ever. So to expand on an earlier point, Cage excels at playing antiheroes and scum. He should be playing roles that range from eccentric, to unhinged, to dangerous. There’s no drama when he’s a good guy. Here he is somewhat charismatic at best.
77. Grand Isle (2019) 0%
A movie about a young man accused of a murder that it’s really obvious he didn’t do. If nothing else, this film might feature Cage’s strongest performance as a main antagonist, but it’s not notable in and of itself. The lighting is frustratingly dark throughout the movie, the plot falls apart in the final act, and the main character is very poorly acted (even Kelsey Grammar does a pretty awful job as an idiotic detective).
76. Fire Birds (1990) 10%
A Top Gun sequel has been in development hell for years, but that didn’t stop Disney from trying to make one themselves. With talent like Nicolas Cage, Tommy Lee Jones, and Sean Young, the plot actually made more sense than Top Gun’s (because it made any sense). Here our helicopter pilots in training have to face down an attack helicopter hired by South American drug cartels. But a sensible story doesn’t save a film that has none of Top Gun’s charm, especially when it’s 2019 and it’s hard to be oorah about Reagan’s War on Drugs anymore. Cage himself only has a your mom joke here or there worth remembering.
75. Pay the Ghost (2015) 10%
Nicolas Cage plays a professor whose son goes missing on Halloween. It takes him a very long time to figure out that a ghost did it. Then he travels to the bad special effects dimension to take his son back. Can I let my brevity here speak for itself? It would be a genuine problem if I needed to use this cop-out again.
74. Rage (2014) 12%
Oh crap. I knew I’d be digging myself a hole with that. I had to read the Wikipedia summary to even remember Rage. Cage, a criminal, retires from crime but is drawn back into an old gang war when his daughter is kidnapped. Peter Stormare and Danny Glover are in it, so that’s something. If this film was particularly bad I would at least remember something bad about it. I wish I could at least remember something Cage does in the film. But here it is, the most forgettable movie starring Nicolas Cage.
73. Ghost Rider (2007) 27%
It is a sad state of affairs when we have to be happy that Ghost Rider exists just to give us more to talk about. Pre-2008 was home to many a mediocre superhero film. Ghost Rider is certainly nothing special, but objectively it probably doesn’t deserve to be known as one of Cage’s most hated movies. Subjectively however, this movie completely wastes the potential magic of Nicolas Cage becoming a demonic bounty hunter. As Johnny Blaze his acting isn’t noteworthy to begin with, but when he becomes the Ghost Rider, he is completely replaced with a bad CGI monstrosity, eliciting an internal sigh every time it comes on-screen (which is really not what you want from your superhero film). And yes, that does mean that Nic Cage on an off day is more interesting than a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle.
72. Vengeance: A Love Story (2017) 0%
Nicolas Cage plays a cop going outside the law to punish a group of rapists in a film adapted from the book Rape: A Love Story. I could quip about why they might have wanted to change the name, but a lack of respect for the source material is the film’s greatest downfall. I watched all of Cage’s films because he at least makes bad movies better, but this was the exception that he made worse. He is horribly miscast as an old man who is supposed to have romantic tension with a young rape victim. It’s not that he does a terrible job, but it’s the whole video on demand approach that was part and parcel with Cage at this time that ruins it. The source material could have made for an okay film, but they might as well have thrown it in the garbage. A great performance by criminally underrated actress Anna Hutchison doesn’t save it.
71. Rumble Fish (1983) 70%
Francis Ford Coppola feels like the epitome of the allegedly good director. The Godfather Part I and Part II are two of the most lionized films of all time and Apocalypse Now is one of my personal 10s. But after the 70s he really struggled to live up to that. He made two films based off the novels of S.E. Hinton, only one of which anyone remembers. This is not that film. This stars Matt Dillon as a young hoodlum and Mickey Rourke as his revered older brother who wants to put the gang life behind him. The film is a lot of Rourke spouting woke nonsense as the direction gives the movie a surreal quality. I will not pretend to have understood it outside of one good fight scene.
Nicolas Cage was born Nicolas Coppola, as in the previously mentioned director. I tell you that just in case you didn’t know it because it’s going to be relevant. Cage changed his name because he didn’t want people to think he only succeeded because of nepotism, but you’d be foolish to think nepotism didn’t help when he was in three of his uncle’s movies. He was given a very small role here, which was probably wise for a few reasons, but certainly doesn’t serve our purpose.
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70. Dog Eat Dog (2016) 50%
At least Coppola never saw such an ignominious downfall as Paul Schrader, who went from writing Taxi Driver and Raging Bull to directing movies like Dog Eat Dog. In a conventional non-Cage related list, this would be the worst movie. It is complete crap. The movie manages to be morally and aesthetically ugly. Morally, it’s about ex-cons who whine about how they never get a chance to reintegrate into society, which might be a good subject for a dramatic film, but they’re just the most terrible people. We open with Willem Dafoe murdering a mother and daughter for basically no reason, a scene treated with all the class that the Scary Movie franchise could muster. Aesthetically, it feels like a teenager with a video camera just discovered after effects. There’s a different color filter or wacky camera angle in almost every scene, and sometimes both.
This isn’t a so bad it’s good film. It is 100% frustrating to watch and a huge waste of pairing Cage with Dafoe. But it is pretty fun to talk about just how bad it is. So SPOILER WARNING for the ending; I’m going to break down the craziest scene. As Cage is fleeing from the police he takes a black priest and his wife hostage in their car. Cage starts talking like Humphrey Bogart which alludes to one line earlier in the movie where he says that people often think he’s Humphrey Bogart, but the less observant viewer is more likely to think that the world has turned upside down. Cage tries to relate to the priest, asking “you’ve been on the inside right?” The priest says yes. As if it’s so freaking obvious to Paul Schrader that a black man, even a priest, has been to prison that a character can so nonchalantly ask that and be right. Cage promises the couple that they’ll get out of this okay, so when the police surround them, Cage steps away from the car and the police unload a hundred bullets into it, killing the couple. Then Cage just walks away and gets away. The end. It’s a metaphor for… something… with a pink filter over it.
69. Dying of the Light (2014) 9%
Just in case you thought I was being harsh when I described Paul Schrader’s career as an ignominious downfall, here we are again so soon. When Cage is kicked out of the CIA for having a degenerative mental disorder, he goes rogue to track down a terrorist before he loses his mind completely. Now that sounds awesome, but it’s unfortunately dull. For starters, the audience always knows he is right about the terrorist, and frankly it might be a shame that he’s right at all. Many would give Dying of the Light a pass as the director lost final-cut privilege and had no say in how the film was edited, a move which the cast protested. But I’ve seen Dog Eat Dog, so not only do I not have any reason to think the Schrader cut would be better, he might have lost those privileges for good reason. Don’t let the placement fool you; there is actually a big difference in quality between this movie and Dog Eat Dog.
How did Cage do as a secret agent losing his mind? Pretty good as one should expect. It’s exactly the kind of role you want Cage to have. I’m going to sidetrack us to note that he co-starred with Anton Yelchin in this movie. Yelchin, who died tragically at the age of 27, will be remembered in the upcoming documentary Love, Antosha, narrated by Nicolas Cage. So that’s neat. I look forward to it.
68. Between Worlds (2018) 32%
I’m pretty certain that this was originally pitched as a pornographic film, but it was too insane to be porn, so the director went the next step down: video on demand with Nicolas Cage. Cage is a trucker whose family died in a fire. He meets a woman whose daughter is dying, but fortunately she can enter the ghost world to bring her daughter’s spirit back into her body. How? By being sexually choked out. But she fucks up and doesn’t bring her daughter’s spirit back, she brings back Cage’s dead wife. This is no loving if awkward reunion however, as the dead wife is now evil and finds joy in seducing Cage while pretending to be his girlfriend’s daughter. This movie is bananas. It’s not good, but it is certainly bananas.
67. The Runner (2015) 25%
I wish I could just lightning round the next 10 mostly unremarkable movies Pokerap style. In The Runner, Cage plays an up-and-coming politician whose career is hurt by an affair. He has to choose between his career and his relationship with his assistant (Sarah Paulson). He has to choose between his principles and taking money from big corporations. It’s a very surface level examination of the perils of running for office and largely exists to condemn big oil, which is fine, but the movie is not quite fine. It’s also just not the kind of role you want to see from Nicolas Cage at all. Too honest a character to be dramatic, but too dramatic a movie to be wacky. This was the last Cage film I had to watch (as of writing this, then he dumped five more movies on us in 2019), so I should have a bit more to say about it, but alas.
66. Astro Boy (2009) 50%
For a movie nobody was interested in seeing, Astro Boy actually had a lot of promise. Within the first 15 minutes the apparent main character, an affable child genius, is horribly killed. And he never comes back. There is a robot that looks like him and thinks like him, but the movie makes it very clear through visual and expository storytelling that he’s not the same person. This causes Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage), the boy’s father and creator of the robot, to reject and dispose of the robot, who as far as they are concerned are the doctor’s child nonetheless. This sounds awesome for an animated kids movie, but it throws away everything the plot gives it with a script ridden with terribly immature jokes and dialogue. Obviously a movie that opens with a child dying needs some levity to offset that, but kids old enough that you’d actually want them to see such a movie probably won’t be impressed by robot rebels that tickle humans with feathers. They also probably won’t be impressed by an environmentalist subplot that boils down to a color-coded unlimited supply of good or evil energy, and the bad guy picking evil energy because “it sounds better”.
You would also expect Cage to put in good work here as an anti-villain. Dr. Tenma is destroyed by the loss of his son, but creating the robot only serves to remind him of his loss. You can hear the eye acting in his voice, but it doesn’t translate to the screen. He’s always using an inside voice and just seems melancholic. Why is this one of the few movies where he never really loses it? He’s obviously trying and probably too hard. In contrast, Donald Sutherland couldn’t care less about this film, but there’s something fun about his performance as the main antagonist even when he has most of the film’s worst lines.
65. Seeking Justice (2011) 23%
Nicolas Cage plays Will Gerard, an English teacher whose wife is raped (I rarely care what character Cage is supposed to be playing in these bad movies, but I thought it best to avoid having a sentence saying “Nicolas Cage’s wife is raped”). He is approached by Guy Pearce, who runs a secret society of vigilantes. The vigilantes will kill the rapist if Cage promises to owe them a favor in the future. Obviously that favor will be too much and Cage won’t do it, then he’ll be in trouble, but is that really logical? Clearly this group can get people willing to murder criminals, so why ask too much of the protagonist? This is just delegation 101: put the right person in the right job. But the reason there’s a plot at all is because Guy Pearce goes power hungry and decides that he should decide who lives and dies, which, isn’t that what he was already doing? And he decides to kill Cage for being slightly annoying I guess? It’s a stupid and convoluted movie.
64. Trapped in Paradise (1994) 10%
1994 was a really bad year for Nicolas Cage. But if you ever wanted a version of the Three Stooges that consists of Nicolas Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey, then... why? But also, you’re in luck. Playing three bank robbers, they steal from a small town, get trapped in it due to Christmas snow, and eventually are forgiven by every citizen when they return the money because gosh ain’t rural America totally full of universal love? The premise, jokes, and performances are just too ridiculous to totally hate, which edges this film away from the same year’s other stinkers, but not by a lot.
63. Looking Glass (2018) 17%
Thank you Wikipedia for giving me something of interest to talk about here. In 2016 there was an article published in The New Yorker about one Gerald Foos, a motel owner who had put peeping holes in all of the rooms so he could watch his patrons have sex. Steven Spielberg of all people thought that was so awesome that he wanted to make a movie about it (he also recently made a prequel to All the President’s Men and a film about a farting giant, so…), but bowed out when a documentary beat him to it. The makers of Looking Glass weren’t as scrupulous, so they just mashed the voyeur hotel concept with Rear Window. As a suspense film it is actually mechanically sound, having many of the right shot compositions, lighting, sound, etc. During this part of Cage’s career I was just surprised when a movie wasn’t bad within the first five minutes, but there’s nothing remarkable to speak about here either.
62. Knowing (2009) 33%
Made by allegedly good director Alex Proyas (also of I, Robot and Gods of Egypt fame), here Nicolas Cage discovers a series of numbers that will prophesize all human disasters. No one believes him until an alien race that all look like Billy Idol show up and start A FIRIN’ THEIR LAZERS (sorry, I saw this in theaters and that meme was more relevant in 2009 than Cage’s career). Knowing is perhaps most famous for being hailed by Roger Ebert as one of the best science-fiction films of all time as he wrote an article all about what a good actor Cage is (if you go by review scores, Ebert is perhaps a bigger Cage fan than even I am). While I agree with the latter point, is this even a science-fiction film at all? You can’t just call something science-fiction because aliens show up. It needs some sort of science or futurism that is remotely plausible, and the plot even fails on that front. But I firmly believe everyone is allowed the occasional hot take.
61. Never on Tuesday (1989)
This is such a fascinating movie. It is the first film made by Adam Rifkin, and as a modern king of B movies it’s surprising he only ever worked with Cage once. I couldn’t find out how 23-year-old Rifkin cajoled his way into making this, although it had a drastically low budget. This was shot on leftover film and features numerous cameos by leftover actors. Actually, we’re talking the likes of Gilbert Gottfried and Charlie Sheen, but they each show up for only a few minutes. The film is about three people who get stranded on a road in the California desert. Two of the characters are long-time male friends who desperately want to lose their virginity, so how unlucky that the woman they get stuck with is a lesbian. This should be fodder for immature jokes, but this is a 90 minute, three actor film, so it has to fill the time by characters talking about their feelings. Why is virginity so important to get rid of? How does a young man actually impress a woman? What do women feel about being constantly targeted as sex objects? But this is a really amateur movie so don’t expect the script to be a stroke of genius.
Never on Tuesday is too cheap, amateur, and unorthodox to be good, but it would almost be the first movie I recommend for how weird it is. But we’re not here to talk about Adam Rifkin, we’re here to talk about Nicolas Cage. And if you blink you might miss his role here. Showing up in a red car, he is wearing heavy prosthetics, wheezes a lot, and then leaves. It gets points for being wacky but not much.
At least Coppola never saw such an ignominious downfall as Paul Schrader, who went from writing Taxi Driver and Raging Bull to directing movies like Dog Eat Dog. In a conventional non-Cage related list, this would be the worst movie. It is complete crap. The movie manages to be morally and aesthetically ugly. Morally, it’s about ex-cons who whine about how they never get a chance to reintegrate into society, which might be a good subject for a dramatic film, but they’re just the most terrible people. We open with Willem Dafoe murdering a mother and daughter for basically no reason, a scene treated with all the class that the Scary Movie franchise could muster. Aesthetically, it feels like a teenager with a video camera just discovered after effects. There’s a different color filter or wacky camera angle in almost every scene, and sometimes both.
This isn’t a so bad it’s good film. It is 100% frustrating to watch and a huge waste of pairing Cage with Dafoe. But it is pretty fun to talk about just how bad it is. So SPOILER WARNING for the ending; I’m going to break down the craziest scene. As Cage is fleeing from the police he takes a black priest and his wife hostage in their car. Cage starts talking like Humphrey Bogart which alludes to one line earlier in the movie where he says that people often think he’s Humphrey Bogart, but the less observant viewer is more likely to think that the world has turned upside down. Cage tries to relate to the priest, asking “you’ve been on the inside right?” The priest says yes. As if it’s so freaking obvious to Paul Schrader that a black man, even a priest, has been to prison that a character can so nonchalantly ask that and be right. Cage promises the couple that they’ll get out of this okay, so when the police surround them, Cage steps away from the car and the police unload a hundred bullets into it, killing the couple. Then Cage just walks away and gets away. The end. It’s a metaphor for… something… with a pink filter over it.
69. Dying of the Light (2014) 9%
Just in case you thought I was being harsh when I described Paul Schrader’s career as an ignominious downfall, here we are again so soon. When Cage is kicked out of the CIA for having a degenerative mental disorder, he goes rogue to track down a terrorist before he loses his mind completely. Now that sounds awesome, but it’s unfortunately dull. For starters, the audience always knows he is right about the terrorist, and frankly it might be a shame that he’s right at all. Many would give Dying of the Light a pass as the director lost final-cut privilege and had no say in how the film was edited, a move which the cast protested. But I’ve seen Dog Eat Dog, so not only do I not have any reason to think the Schrader cut would be better, he might have lost those privileges for good reason. Don’t let the placement fool you; there is actually a big difference in quality between this movie and Dog Eat Dog.
How did Cage do as a secret agent losing his mind? Pretty good as one should expect. It’s exactly the kind of role you want Cage to have. I’m going to sidetrack us to note that he co-starred with Anton Yelchin in this movie. Yelchin, who died tragically at the age of 27, will be remembered in the upcoming documentary Love, Antosha, narrated by Nicolas Cage. So that’s neat. I look forward to it.
68. Between Worlds (2018) 32%
I’m pretty certain that this was originally pitched as a pornographic film, but it was too insane to be porn, so the director went the next step down: video on demand with Nicolas Cage. Cage is a trucker whose family died in a fire. He meets a woman whose daughter is dying, but fortunately she can enter the ghost world to bring her daughter’s spirit back into her body. How? By being sexually choked out. But she fucks up and doesn’t bring her daughter’s spirit back, she brings back Cage’s dead wife. This is no loving if awkward reunion however, as the dead wife is now evil and finds joy in seducing Cage while pretending to be his girlfriend’s daughter. This movie is bananas. It’s not good, but it is certainly bananas.
67. The Runner (2015) 25%
I wish I could just lightning round the next 10 mostly unremarkable movies Pokerap style. In The Runner, Cage plays an up-and-coming politician whose career is hurt by an affair. He has to choose between his career and his relationship with his assistant (Sarah Paulson). He has to choose between his principles and taking money from big corporations. It’s a very surface level examination of the perils of running for office and largely exists to condemn big oil, which is fine, but the movie is not quite fine. It’s also just not the kind of role you want to see from Nicolas Cage at all. Too honest a character to be dramatic, but too dramatic a movie to be wacky. This was the last Cage film I had to watch (as of writing this, then he dumped five more movies on us in 2019), so I should have a bit more to say about it, but alas.
66. Astro Boy (2009) 50%
For a movie nobody was interested in seeing, Astro Boy actually had a lot of promise. Within the first 15 minutes the apparent main character, an affable child genius, is horribly killed. And he never comes back. There is a robot that looks like him and thinks like him, but the movie makes it very clear through visual and expository storytelling that he’s not the same person. This causes Dr. Tenma (Nicolas Cage), the boy’s father and creator of the robot, to reject and dispose of the robot, who as far as they are concerned are the doctor’s child nonetheless. This sounds awesome for an animated kids movie, but it throws away everything the plot gives it with a script ridden with terribly immature jokes and dialogue. Obviously a movie that opens with a child dying needs some levity to offset that, but kids old enough that you’d actually want them to see such a movie probably won’t be impressed by robot rebels that tickle humans with feathers. They also probably won’t be impressed by an environmentalist subplot that boils down to a color-coded unlimited supply of good or evil energy, and the bad guy picking evil energy because “it sounds better”.
You would also expect Cage to put in good work here as an anti-villain. Dr. Tenma is destroyed by the loss of his son, but creating the robot only serves to remind him of his loss. You can hear the eye acting in his voice, but it doesn’t translate to the screen. He’s always using an inside voice and just seems melancholic. Why is this one of the few movies where he never really loses it? He’s obviously trying and probably too hard. In contrast, Donald Sutherland couldn’t care less about this film, but there’s something fun about his performance as the main antagonist even when he has most of the film’s worst lines.
65. Seeking Justice (2011) 23%
Nicolas Cage plays Will Gerard, an English teacher whose wife is raped (I rarely care what character Cage is supposed to be playing in these bad movies, but I thought it best to avoid having a sentence saying “Nicolas Cage’s wife is raped”). He is approached by Guy Pearce, who runs a secret society of vigilantes. The vigilantes will kill the rapist if Cage promises to owe them a favor in the future. Obviously that favor will be too much and Cage won’t do it, then he’ll be in trouble, but is that really logical? Clearly this group can get people willing to murder criminals, so why ask too much of the protagonist? This is just delegation 101: put the right person in the right job. But the reason there’s a plot at all is because Guy Pearce goes power hungry and decides that he should decide who lives and dies, which, isn’t that what he was already doing? And he decides to kill Cage for being slightly annoying I guess? It’s a stupid and convoluted movie.
64. Trapped in Paradise (1994) 10%
1994 was a really bad year for Nicolas Cage. But if you ever wanted a version of the Three Stooges that consists of Nicolas Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey, then... why? But also, you’re in luck. Playing three bank robbers, they steal from a small town, get trapped in it due to Christmas snow, and eventually are forgiven by every citizen when they return the money because gosh ain’t rural America totally full of universal love? The premise, jokes, and performances are just too ridiculous to totally hate, which edges this film away from the same year’s other stinkers, but not by a lot.
63. Looking Glass (2018) 17%
Thank you Wikipedia for giving me something of interest to talk about here. In 2016 there was an article published in The New Yorker about one Gerald Foos, a motel owner who had put peeping holes in all of the rooms so he could watch his patrons have sex. Steven Spielberg of all people thought that was so awesome that he wanted to make a movie about it (he also recently made a prequel to All the President’s Men and a film about a farting giant, so…), but bowed out when a documentary beat him to it. The makers of Looking Glass weren’t as scrupulous, so they just mashed the voyeur hotel concept with Rear Window. As a suspense film it is actually mechanically sound, having many of the right shot compositions, lighting, sound, etc. During this part of Cage’s career I was just surprised when a movie wasn’t bad within the first five minutes, but there’s nothing remarkable to speak about here either.
62. Knowing (2009) 33%
Made by allegedly good director Alex Proyas (also of I, Robot and Gods of Egypt fame), here Nicolas Cage discovers a series of numbers that will prophesize all human disasters. No one believes him until an alien race that all look like Billy Idol show up and start A FIRIN’ THEIR LAZERS (sorry, I saw this in theaters and that meme was more relevant in 2009 than Cage’s career). Knowing is perhaps most famous for being hailed by Roger Ebert as one of the best science-fiction films of all time as he wrote an article all about what a good actor Cage is (if you go by review scores, Ebert is perhaps a bigger Cage fan than even I am). While I agree with the latter point, is this even a science-fiction film at all? You can’t just call something science-fiction because aliens show up. It needs some sort of science or futurism that is remotely plausible, and the plot even fails on that front. But I firmly believe everyone is allowed the occasional hot take.
61. Never on Tuesday (1989)
This is such a fascinating movie. It is the first film made by Adam Rifkin, and as a modern king of B movies it’s surprising he only ever worked with Cage once. I couldn’t find out how 23-year-old Rifkin cajoled his way into making this, although it had a drastically low budget. This was shot on leftover film and features numerous cameos by leftover actors. Actually, we’re talking the likes of Gilbert Gottfried and Charlie Sheen, but they each show up for only a few minutes. The film is about three people who get stranded on a road in the California desert. Two of the characters are long-time male friends who desperately want to lose their virginity, so how unlucky that the woman they get stuck with is a lesbian. This should be fodder for immature jokes, but this is a 90 minute, three actor film, so it has to fill the time by characters talking about their feelings. Why is virginity so important to get rid of? How does a young man actually impress a woman? What do women feel about being constantly targeted as sex objects? But this is a really amateur movie so don’t expect the script to be a stroke of genius.
Never on Tuesday is too cheap, amateur, and unorthodox to be good, but it would almost be the first movie I recommend for how weird it is. But we’re not here to talk about Adam Rifkin, we’re here to talk about Nicolas Cage. And if you blink you might miss his role here. Showing up in a red car, he is wearing heavy prosthetics, wheezes a lot, and then leaves. It gets points for being wacky but not much.
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60. Valley Girl (1983) 82%
I’m tired of saying that things aren’t exactly Shakespeare. I want to start saying that things aren’t exactly Dostoevsky. But given that this is supposed to be based on Romeo and Juliet, it’s not exactly Shakespeare (but we have seen worse adaptations recently, haven’t we). There’s a strong chance this very 80s movie will tickle the same bone that ferociously vibrates every time you hear Danger Zone, but even as a fan of Cage I had to be realistic and think, well, it’s not really that funny or endearing is it?
As Nicolas Cage’s first leading role and the first movie where he was billed as Cage, I should probably recommend this. For his first leading role he does fine. He’s obviously very comfortable playing an edgy weirdo, which is what he was cast as and not something he snuck into the role. But it’s fair to say he wasn’t pushing the boundaries of acting yet.
59. Racing with the Moon (1984) 60%
Racing with the Train, is that not the name of the movie? It’s the only thing raced repeatedly or at all. Anyway, Cage co-stars with Sean Penn in a story of angst and abortion as two guys wait to be sent to fight World War II. Penn falls in love with a girl and won’t that be hard when he leaves? The only thing worth noting about this film is a scene where Cage is stone drunk. It’s the first time viewers would have gotten a glimpse of the Cage to come.
58. Kiss of Death (1995) 64%
This one actually stars that other hammy B movie actor, David Caruso. Fun fact: I actually only have two degrees of separation from him. I’ll try to be fair as a result. I haven’t seen any other Caruso movies, but I think I like Cage a lot more. It’s not hard to see why Caruso got a razzie nomination, although that’s a little misguided. It is the kind of performance you would want in this kind of cheesy “I was an ex-con, I went straight, I went un-straight, I’m working for the cops” thriller.
Cage plays the villain and he brings a lot of weird ticks and little personality flaws to the character, which is always nice. I wouldn’t say it’s an above average performance from him though.
57. The Frozen Ground (2013) 60%
The true story of the capture of Alaskan serial killer Robert Hansen is probably an example of police heroism that deserves to be a film. But if this is any indication, it has some trouble being a story. There is surprising star power here as Cage is joined by John Cusack, Vanessa Hudgens, and even 50 Cent shows up in kind of a weird, demeaning role. You can expect manufactured drama because the story of police finding evidence on a guy who was obviously guilty isn’t much of a plot, but this is honest cop Cage, so don’t expect much on his end either.
56. Sonny (2002) 23%
This one has the sole distinction of being the only movie so far directed by Nicolas Cage. So you would probably want to watch a film that is absolutely nuts, but you’re going to have to settle for a normal movie where James Franco acts like Nicolas Cage. I thought that was a fine compromise. The story about a young gigolo who can’t go straight is nothing to write home about, but the acting is fine, especially from Harry Dean Stanton. Cage is in it, obviously. A small role but the only time we ever see him playing Austin Powers in pimp form, so it’s not unappreciated.
55. Stolen (2012) 20%
We’re a third of the way through the list of films starring Nicolas Cage, so am I finally going to recommend one? No. But this is the first movie that I would almost say is watchable. That makes it the least watchable watchable movie starring Nicolas Cage. Put that quote on the DVD cover. Stolen is a heist movie until it’s a kidnapped daughter movie, until it’s finally a heist movie again. It is at all points obvious but serviceable, and at least it ends happy enough without the audience suffering any really edgy crap.
54. Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) 61%
An early Cage comedy that is actually funny. I’m honestly a little surprised Nicolas Cage didn’t personally write this given how much the film is about Elvis Presley (Cage loves Elvis, as he loves all old things). There’s even an Elvis played by Bruno Mars, which seems improbable, but I trust you Wikipedia. Cage loses his fiance, Sarah Jessica Parker, to the villainous James Caan in a poker game. He then has to chase her to Hawaii before saving the day by infiltrating a group of skydiving Elvises. It’s not a great movie and Cage’s performance is still sophomoric, but I’d watch it if I stumbled upon it while channel surfing (if I did such a thing).
53. Snowden (2016) 60%
Odds are you’ve probably heard about Edward Snowden; hero to most, villain to narcs. Whether or not you are a narc will impact your enjoyment of this movie as he’s cast entirely as a hero here. This isn’t terribly high-level Oliver Stone storytelling as a result (much like his other recent films), but as I’m not a narc, this is actually the first film on this list that I would say is worth a watch. Or I would, but the real hero of this list in Nicolas Cage and he doesn’t have a lot of screen time here. Playing Snowden’s CIA instructor, Cage’s most memorable line is, upon learning that Snowden leaked government secrets, a gleeful “He did it!”. It’s very weird because they never talk specifically about leaking government secrets, or about toppling the US government in general, or even knew each other at a point in Snowden’s character development where he would be concerned about the ethicacy of government surveillance.
52. The Trust (2016) 62%
The most obvious thing The Trust has going for it is the pairing of Nicolas Cage and Elijah Wood. They have a lot of chemistry together and Wood’s own brand of weirdness perfectly complements the unhinged Cage. The video on demand story of two cops who decide to steal from a drug dealer almost feels like a real film that one or more people actually wanted to make, but its dark comedy ends up bordering too much on edgy nihilism for my taste.
51. Birdy (1984) 85%
A film where a man goes crazy after the Vietnam War and thinks he is a bird. Also Nicolas Cage is in it, but he’s not the bird-man. His sixth movie, people at the time might not have thought that was weird (they probably thought “wait, who is Nicolas Cage?”), but I’ve seen 91 Cage films, so it seems like a huge waste. On the bright side, as a not mute bird-person, he gets all the lines and a lot of monologues. Accordingly, this is the film where people started to notice him and soon he would start getting real big roles. Perhaps this is why some people really like this film, but I’m personally not fond of it. If you’re of the opinion that war is bad, then nothing in this movie about a bird-person will be surprising for you.
I’m tired of saying that things aren’t exactly Shakespeare. I want to start saying that things aren’t exactly Dostoevsky. But given that this is supposed to be based on Romeo and Juliet, it’s not exactly Shakespeare (but we have seen worse adaptations recently, haven’t we). There’s a strong chance this very 80s movie will tickle the same bone that ferociously vibrates every time you hear Danger Zone, but even as a fan of Cage I had to be realistic and think, well, it’s not really that funny or endearing is it?
As Nicolas Cage’s first leading role and the first movie where he was billed as Cage, I should probably recommend this. For his first leading role he does fine. He’s obviously very comfortable playing an edgy weirdo, which is what he was cast as and not something he snuck into the role. But it’s fair to say he wasn’t pushing the boundaries of acting yet.
59. Racing with the Moon (1984) 60%
Racing with the Train, is that not the name of the movie? It’s the only thing raced repeatedly or at all. Anyway, Cage co-stars with Sean Penn in a story of angst and abortion as two guys wait to be sent to fight World War II. Penn falls in love with a girl and won’t that be hard when he leaves? The only thing worth noting about this film is a scene where Cage is stone drunk. It’s the first time viewers would have gotten a glimpse of the Cage to come.
58. Kiss of Death (1995) 64%
This one actually stars that other hammy B movie actor, David Caruso. Fun fact: I actually only have two degrees of separation from him. I’ll try to be fair as a result. I haven’t seen any other Caruso movies, but I think I like Cage a lot more. It’s not hard to see why Caruso got a razzie nomination, although that’s a little misguided. It is the kind of performance you would want in this kind of cheesy “I was an ex-con, I went straight, I went un-straight, I’m working for the cops” thriller.
Cage plays the villain and he brings a lot of weird ticks and little personality flaws to the character, which is always nice. I wouldn’t say it’s an above average performance from him though.
57. The Frozen Ground (2013) 60%
The true story of the capture of Alaskan serial killer Robert Hansen is probably an example of police heroism that deserves to be a film. But if this is any indication, it has some trouble being a story. There is surprising star power here as Cage is joined by John Cusack, Vanessa Hudgens, and even 50 Cent shows up in kind of a weird, demeaning role. You can expect manufactured drama because the story of police finding evidence on a guy who was obviously guilty isn’t much of a plot, but this is honest cop Cage, so don’t expect much on his end either.
56. Sonny (2002) 23%
This one has the sole distinction of being the only movie so far directed by Nicolas Cage. So you would probably want to watch a film that is absolutely nuts, but you’re going to have to settle for a normal movie where James Franco acts like Nicolas Cage. I thought that was a fine compromise. The story about a young gigolo who can’t go straight is nothing to write home about, but the acting is fine, especially from Harry Dean Stanton. Cage is in it, obviously. A small role but the only time we ever see him playing Austin Powers in pimp form, so it’s not unappreciated.
55. Stolen (2012) 20%
We’re a third of the way through the list of films starring Nicolas Cage, so am I finally going to recommend one? No. But this is the first movie that I would almost say is watchable. That makes it the least watchable watchable movie starring Nicolas Cage. Put that quote on the DVD cover. Stolen is a heist movie until it’s a kidnapped daughter movie, until it’s finally a heist movie again. It is at all points obvious but serviceable, and at least it ends happy enough without the audience suffering any really edgy crap.
54. Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) 61%
An early Cage comedy that is actually funny. I’m honestly a little surprised Nicolas Cage didn’t personally write this given how much the film is about Elvis Presley (Cage loves Elvis, as he loves all old things). There’s even an Elvis played by Bruno Mars, which seems improbable, but I trust you Wikipedia. Cage loses his fiance, Sarah Jessica Parker, to the villainous James Caan in a poker game. He then has to chase her to Hawaii before saving the day by infiltrating a group of skydiving Elvises. It’s not a great movie and Cage’s performance is still sophomoric, but I’d watch it if I stumbled upon it while channel surfing (if I did such a thing).
53. Snowden (2016) 60%
Odds are you’ve probably heard about Edward Snowden; hero to most, villain to narcs. Whether or not you are a narc will impact your enjoyment of this movie as he’s cast entirely as a hero here. This isn’t terribly high-level Oliver Stone storytelling as a result (much like his other recent films), but as I’m not a narc, this is actually the first film on this list that I would say is worth a watch. Or I would, but the real hero of this list in Nicolas Cage and he doesn’t have a lot of screen time here. Playing Snowden’s CIA instructor, Cage’s most memorable line is, upon learning that Snowden leaked government secrets, a gleeful “He did it!”. It’s very weird because they never talk specifically about leaking government secrets, or about toppling the US government in general, or even knew each other at a point in Snowden’s character development where he would be concerned about the ethicacy of government surveillance.
52. The Trust (2016) 62%
The most obvious thing The Trust has going for it is the pairing of Nicolas Cage and Elijah Wood. They have a lot of chemistry together and Wood’s own brand of weirdness perfectly complements the unhinged Cage. The video on demand story of two cops who decide to steal from a drug dealer almost feels like a real film that one or more people actually wanted to make, but its dark comedy ends up bordering too much on edgy nihilism for my taste.
51. Birdy (1984) 85%
A film where a man goes crazy after the Vietnam War and thinks he is a bird. Also Nicolas Cage is in it, but he’s not the bird-man. His sixth movie, people at the time might not have thought that was weird (they probably thought “wait, who is Nicolas Cage?”), but I’ve seen 91 Cage films, so it seems like a huge waste. On the bright side, as a not mute bird-person, he gets all the lines and a lot of monologues. Accordingly, this is the film where people started to notice him and soon he would start getting real big roles. Perhaps this is why some people really like this film, but I’m personally not fond of it. If you’re of the opinion that war is bad, then nothing in this movie about a bird-person will be surprising for you.
50. The Ant Bully (2006) 62%
One of two animated films by John A. Davis, I think this one isn’t as completely horrible as Jimmy Neutron, but what do I know? Ant Bully didn’t get a TV show or a post-ironic fanbase. But it does have Nicolas Cage playing an ant wizard and he hams up the production appropriately, as does Bruce Campbell (I won’t list all the stars of an animated film as most of them are just hired to be names on a poster). Even though this is somehow the third big budget CGI ant cartoon to be made, it manages to carve out its own path with humor that is actually pretty grounded in the biology of ants. So it’s not entirely for dumb people and it’s a good morality play about a bad kid who tortures insects until he is shrunk to the size of one. This might even be a good movie except that John A. Davis makes some of the ugliest animation in the world.
49. Time to Kill (1989)
First of all, no, he wasn’t in A Time to Kill, which wouldn’t be confusing if this was called The Killing Time like the novel or like how it’s title dropped in the actual film. Second, while I’ve mistaken a few Cage films for being low budget foreign productions, this one actually was made in Italy with overdubbed English as per tradition. It is the first of the two movies where Cage plays an Italian fascist, only this time he’s actually a bad guy, imagine that. Cage’s character rapes and murders an Ethiopian girl just as imperialist Italy raped and murdered the country. The bulk of the movie concerns the character completely losing his mind wondering whether he has leprosy, and I’m not sure what that’s a metaphor for, but Cage was nailing it when my copy of the movie wasn’t randomly in Italian.
48. City of Angels (1998) 58%
Coming a year after Face/Off, this movie had similar mainstream success contrasting with a wacky premise. Unlike Face/Off, City of Angels isn’t any good. The movie consists of about an hour of angels standing on top of tall buildings and billboards while cosplaying for The Matrix and trying to look cool. Then they creepily stand over dying people and put their hands on the shoulders of human beings who won’t be able to feel them as they stare fish-eyed into the camera. The performances feel like South Park parodies of a different movie and Nicolas Cage consistently evokes the feeling that he is physically melting. I wouldn’t call it a good Cage performance, but it’s so horrifically bizarre and is this the first movie I actually recommend?
Anyway he eventually becomes human because he falls in love, so we do get some conventionally good Cage acting, especially when his love immediately dies, leaving Cage trapped as a depressed mortal until he dies of old age. Whatever the moral of this movie is, and I suspect it’s not supposed to be that god is an asshole, I just can’t figure it out.
47. The Family Man (2000) 53%
Another commercially successful bad film, this one being a commercially successful anti-capitalist film. Does that sound like an oxymoron? You bet it does! Here’s the kicker: suggesting that some people shouldn’t be billionaires and instead stay at the bottom selling tires and buying microwaves for their families is still capitalism. In this film, Nicolas Cage is a Wall Street broker who is given a vision by an angel of an alternate life where he has a family instead of money. This film presents the false dichotomy that you can’t be successful and have a family at the same time, which becomes weird when in both timelines he shows that he could rather effortlessly accomplish both. In vision world he practically phone calls his way back into being a broker (this anti-capitalism movie spreading the nonsense that success is about hard work and not about opportunity) but that’s wrong says his wife, so when he goes back to the real world and rekindles that old flame, he has to try to sabotage her successful career and his own in the process.
The plot is at least prime for Nicolas Cage comedy as he freaks out over stuff nobody that nobody in vision world has context for. This is at least funnier as a comedy than It Could Happen to You, but it’s just as dishonest as a saccharine morality play.
46. Next (2007) 28%
We did finally get a movie where Nicolas Cage plays a bird-person. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what the hairstylist was going for, but I’m not sure how it factors into the plot about a stage magician with real magical powers. Cage can see two minutes into the future at all times, which actually leads to some pretty interesting action sequences. The rest of the movie is driven by his moderate charisma as he tries to seduce the literal woman of his dreams (remember he is a psychic).
Julianne Moore is an FBI agent who wants to recruit Cage to find a nuclear bomb in the hands of terrorists. The terrorists are after Cage because the FBI might want his powers to find their nuclear bomb… which is psychic in its own right, or maybe they just read the script. Anyway, the really obvious twist ending is that after his girlfriend gets blown up, we go back to the diner when they met, everything was a vision all along, and he doesn’t seduce her because involving her in his life would mean she would die. Haha no, the film doesn’t even have an ending! Not exaggerating. Maybe they thought there would be a sequel, but the cliffhanger reduces a passable film to a bad one.
45. Amos & Andrew (1993) 20%
This film is, prepare yourself, a comedy about police officers who accidentally try to shoot to death a wealthy black man in his own home. The early 90s sure were a wacky time! If this movie didn’t age like butter you could squint at it and maybe ehhhhh, well it has Nicolas Cage and Samuel L. Jackson teaming up, so you could do much worse. Noteworthy as another film in the list of films where Cage has a thing for underage girls.
44. A Score to Settle (2019) 15%
Coming after Cage’s really good year, I initially underrated this movie. It’s easy to want to see his career explode upwards now similar to that of Keanu Reeves, but this is unrealistic given the double digit number of movies Cage had in the pipeline. However, A Score to Settle is definitely a tier above his average VOD release, with generally competent and surprisingly understated filmmaking, an okay twist layered well into the story, and one or two actually great scenes. In this film Cage is literally supposed to be taking Xanax, but this isn’t Xanax Cage. He is somewhat sleepy, frustrated, and out for revenge for reasons that eventually make sense if you give the script a chance. I would not mind if this was an average film from him going forward, but would certainly like to see better as well.
43. World Trade Center (2006) 67%
I was surprised by how fine this movie is, even though it’s another Oliver Stone film. Which is to say I should have suspected it would be fine, but it didn’t have the best reputation as a commercial film making money off of a five-year-old tragedy. Watching it in 2019, I can see how obviously respectful it was. Likewise, it shouldn’t be surprising that a movie about two people stuck under rubble for two hours would have dramatic potential. There’s a lot of star power too, though it’s always distracting being reminded that Michael Peña is a serious actor. Cage is also fine, but you don’t do a lot of overacting when you’re trying to survive having a building on top of you.
42. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010) 41%
This is the movie we got instead of National Treasure 3. I really hate this kind of crap where we just throw Arthurian lore in a blender, then dump it into the garbage, then say Merlin as often as possible until people who don’t know better get the idea. Except I must not hate this crap, because as one of the first Cage films I ever saw, I actually liked this one. I’m glad I rewatched it to list it properly, as it does not hold up as a movie or as a Cage performance. It has some great special effects and wizard stuff though.
41. The Cotton Club (1984) 75%
Now we’re back to the discount years of Francis Ford Coppola as he gives us discount Godfather. The Cotton Club is sillier with its stereotypes and plodding with its plotting, but where it succeeds is as a venue film centered around artists performing on stage. I genuinely think the movie does this better than similar movies like Cabaret, but as a total package it leaves much to be desired. Nicolas Cage was offered a bit more screen time as a low-level gangster, but Coppola hadn’t loosened the leash enough to regret it… yet.
One of two animated films by John A. Davis, I think this one isn’t as completely horrible as Jimmy Neutron, but what do I know? Ant Bully didn’t get a TV show or a post-ironic fanbase. But it does have Nicolas Cage playing an ant wizard and he hams up the production appropriately, as does Bruce Campbell (I won’t list all the stars of an animated film as most of them are just hired to be names on a poster). Even though this is somehow the third big budget CGI ant cartoon to be made, it manages to carve out its own path with humor that is actually pretty grounded in the biology of ants. So it’s not entirely for dumb people and it’s a good morality play about a bad kid who tortures insects until he is shrunk to the size of one. This might even be a good movie except that John A. Davis makes some of the ugliest animation in the world.
49. Time to Kill (1989)
First of all, no, he wasn’t in A Time to Kill, which wouldn’t be confusing if this was called The Killing Time like the novel or like how it’s title dropped in the actual film. Second, while I’ve mistaken a few Cage films for being low budget foreign productions, this one actually was made in Italy with overdubbed English as per tradition. It is the first of the two movies where Cage plays an Italian fascist, only this time he’s actually a bad guy, imagine that. Cage’s character rapes and murders an Ethiopian girl just as imperialist Italy raped and murdered the country. The bulk of the movie concerns the character completely losing his mind wondering whether he has leprosy, and I’m not sure what that’s a metaphor for, but Cage was nailing it when my copy of the movie wasn’t randomly in Italian.
48. City of Angels (1998) 58%
Coming a year after Face/Off, this movie had similar mainstream success contrasting with a wacky premise. Unlike Face/Off, City of Angels isn’t any good. The movie consists of about an hour of angels standing on top of tall buildings and billboards while cosplaying for The Matrix and trying to look cool. Then they creepily stand over dying people and put their hands on the shoulders of human beings who won’t be able to feel them as they stare fish-eyed into the camera. The performances feel like South Park parodies of a different movie and Nicolas Cage consistently evokes the feeling that he is physically melting. I wouldn’t call it a good Cage performance, but it’s so horrifically bizarre and is this the first movie I actually recommend?
Anyway he eventually becomes human because he falls in love, so we do get some conventionally good Cage acting, especially when his love immediately dies, leaving Cage trapped as a depressed mortal until he dies of old age. Whatever the moral of this movie is, and I suspect it’s not supposed to be that god is an asshole, I just can’t figure it out.
47. The Family Man (2000) 53%
Another commercially successful bad film, this one being a commercially successful anti-capitalist film. Does that sound like an oxymoron? You bet it does! Here’s the kicker: suggesting that some people shouldn’t be billionaires and instead stay at the bottom selling tires and buying microwaves for their families is still capitalism. In this film, Nicolas Cage is a Wall Street broker who is given a vision by an angel of an alternate life where he has a family instead of money. This film presents the false dichotomy that you can’t be successful and have a family at the same time, which becomes weird when in both timelines he shows that he could rather effortlessly accomplish both. In vision world he practically phone calls his way back into being a broker (this anti-capitalism movie spreading the nonsense that success is about hard work and not about opportunity) but that’s wrong says his wife, so when he goes back to the real world and rekindles that old flame, he has to try to sabotage her successful career and his own in the process.
The plot is at least prime for Nicolas Cage comedy as he freaks out over stuff nobody that nobody in vision world has context for. This is at least funnier as a comedy than It Could Happen to You, but it’s just as dishonest as a saccharine morality play.
46. Next (2007) 28%
We did finally get a movie where Nicolas Cage plays a bird-person. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what the hairstylist was going for, but I’m not sure how it factors into the plot about a stage magician with real magical powers. Cage can see two minutes into the future at all times, which actually leads to some pretty interesting action sequences. The rest of the movie is driven by his moderate charisma as he tries to seduce the literal woman of his dreams (remember he is a psychic).
Julianne Moore is an FBI agent who wants to recruit Cage to find a nuclear bomb in the hands of terrorists. The terrorists are after Cage because the FBI might want his powers to find their nuclear bomb… which is psychic in its own right, or maybe they just read the script. Anyway, the really obvious twist ending is that after his girlfriend gets blown up, we go back to the diner when they met, everything was a vision all along, and he doesn’t seduce her because involving her in his life would mean she would die. Haha no, the film doesn’t even have an ending! Not exaggerating. Maybe they thought there would be a sequel, but the cliffhanger reduces a passable film to a bad one.
45. Amos & Andrew (1993) 20%
This film is, prepare yourself, a comedy about police officers who accidentally try to shoot to death a wealthy black man in his own home. The early 90s sure were a wacky time! If this movie didn’t age like butter you could squint at it and maybe ehhhhh, well it has Nicolas Cage and Samuel L. Jackson teaming up, so you could do much worse. Noteworthy as another film in the list of films where Cage has a thing for underage girls.
44. A Score to Settle (2019) 15%
Coming after Cage’s really good year, I initially underrated this movie. It’s easy to want to see his career explode upwards now similar to that of Keanu Reeves, but this is unrealistic given the double digit number of movies Cage had in the pipeline. However, A Score to Settle is definitely a tier above his average VOD release, with generally competent and surprisingly understated filmmaking, an okay twist layered well into the story, and one or two actually great scenes. In this film Cage is literally supposed to be taking Xanax, but this isn’t Xanax Cage. He is somewhat sleepy, frustrated, and out for revenge for reasons that eventually make sense if you give the script a chance. I would not mind if this was an average film from him going forward, but would certainly like to see better as well.
43. World Trade Center (2006) 67%
I was surprised by how fine this movie is, even though it’s another Oliver Stone film. Which is to say I should have suspected it would be fine, but it didn’t have the best reputation as a commercial film making money off of a five-year-old tragedy. Watching it in 2019, I can see how obviously respectful it was. Likewise, it shouldn’t be surprising that a movie about two people stuck under rubble for two hours would have dramatic potential. There’s a lot of star power too, though it’s always distracting being reminded that Michael Peña is a serious actor. Cage is also fine, but you don’t do a lot of overacting when you’re trying to survive having a building on top of you.
42. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010) 41%
This is the movie we got instead of National Treasure 3. I really hate this kind of crap where we just throw Arthurian lore in a blender, then dump it into the garbage, then say Merlin as often as possible until people who don’t know better get the idea. Except I must not hate this crap, because as one of the first Cage films I ever saw, I actually liked this one. I’m glad I rewatched it to list it properly, as it does not hold up as a movie or as a Cage performance. It has some great special effects and wizard stuff though.
41. The Cotton Club (1984) 75%
Now we’re back to the discount years of Francis Ford Coppola as he gives us discount Godfather. The Cotton Club is sillier with its stereotypes and plodding with its plotting, but where it succeeds is as a venue film centered around artists performing on stage. I genuinely think the movie does this better than similar movies like Cabaret, but as a total package it leaves much to be desired. Nicolas Cage was offered a bit more screen time as a low-level gangster, but Coppola hadn’t loosened the leash enough to regret it… yet.
The moral of City of Angels is God is an asshole and pears are delicious.
40. Joe (2013) 85%
A movie that those in the know would probably think I should be rating higher. Just look at that Rotten Tomatoes rating, the highest so far. The film about about a tree poisoner (real thing) who can't stop getting mixed up with the law, Joe is known for being an island; a relatively good Nicolas Cage movie at a time when his career was considered dead. One of the recurring things about these low budget movies is that they’re all exploitative, especially with sexual violence against women. While Joe may be excellently written, shot, and acted, it is no less an exploitation movie, something ugly, perverse, and bleak, with no real moral lesson for those who watch it. We’re supposed to sympathize with Joe, but he’s actually kind of awful and it seems like his problems would be avoidable if he was less awful. I will give this movie its credit; the film has multiple distinct junkie characters so realistic that I could make a mental note of when I had the misfortune of meeting them in real life.
39. National Treasure (2004) 45%
Ah, National Treasure. Cage’s Smoke on the Water, his Werewolves of London, his Rock & Roll All Nite. It’s the song that all the normies love but that true fans don’t feel is really representative of his oeuvre. National Treasure is a film as stupid as it was successful, and not because Cage makes a mockery of it. If you squint you can see the Disney branded choke collar around his neck at all times. This is Dan Brown’s Indiana Jones. It is a bit of wholesome fun and performances by Sean Bean, Harvey Keitel, and Diane Kruger are all appreciated, but that’s about it.
38. Teen Titans Go! To the Movies (2018) 91%
The Teen Titans cartoon reboot was rather infamous given that the creators were quoted as “not caring about the original show” and the fact that the once action-oriented superhero show became rather juvenile humor fop. But I hear it got better and the movie is evidence enough of that. While most of the Titans are uninteresting hooligans, the film succeeds as a parody of other superhero films with a few very entertaining set pieces. After all, they cast Nicolas Cage as Superman. Once upon a time, Tim Burton was supposed to make a Superman movie and it would star Cage. That never came to pass, but pictures of Cage in costume are highly memeable, I guess so highly that it became its own movie here. While this might be the greatest meme of Cage’s career, he’s sadly not in it that much, nor is his Superman anything to write home about.
37. The Wicker Man (2006) 15%
Speaking of Nicolas Cage memes, we arrive at the other biggest one. Now I mentioned a whole half a list ago that Cage has two movies on IMDb’s bottom 100. This is the other one and frankly it’s pretty overrated as a bad film. This is a sub-mediocre remake. We get a dozen of these every year. What sets this one apart? Nothing but the Youtube compilations. People who see clips of Cage from this movie and don’t understand the actor think “wow, this sure is evidence that the movie sucks”. No! Those are the good parts! When Nicolas Cage isn’t dressing up as a bear and punching women the film meanders between dull and confusing. The great Cage parts aren’t even better in context. If you’ve seen a supercut, you can skip this film. Just don’t confuse a film like this that, while bad, gave us such sweet honey with the likes of absolute drivel like Left Behind.
36. Moonstruck (1987) 93%
This is a weird entry on the list as it’s the only one one to be nominated for best picture, but why??? It’s a dull, meandering film that lethargically hops between romantic subplots that are never interesting all the while babbling incoherently about moon curses and wolves. However, I would have been totally out of line if I didn’t bring up the scene where Cage screams about his wooden hand while portraying the ugliest Italian stereotype he could possibly muster. It is one of the greatest scenes in all his career.
35. Kill Chain (2019)
Another pleasant surprise, this one might be a bit of an artistic misfire but I love that Cage is being used by directors who are at least attempting to make real cinema. I didn’t like the camera work or editing. Some people won’t like the drastic colors, television pacing, or 90s video game soundtrack, though I didn’t mind these things. As a noir, Kill Chain is fairly incomprehensible for a while, but the last act being one long monologue by Cage really ties things together and of course is a joy to watch. I even really liked the performance of relative unknown Anabelle Acosta. Though this film isn’t going to win any awards, I think there is a lot to look forward to for Cage fans if this is the least we can expect from him from now on.
34. G-Force (2009) 22%
If there was one movie that I was certain would be one of Cage’s worst, it was this one. Oh boy does this look awful on paper, and no doubt are a few eyebrows being raised right now. But the film is against all odds actually okay. The worst thing that can be said about the movie is that the cast tells jokes about twice a minute, but enough of them land so it’s alright. In G-Force, a film about a team of spy hamsters, Cage plays a member of this team who is a literal mole, and get this, actually a double-agent. That has surely blown some poor two year old’s brains out. Mole Cage, putting on his nerdiest most nasal congested tone, reprograms all the appliances on the planet to kill everyone, then assembles a giant robot Voltron style out of the appliances, then pulls down satellites out of orbit to fire at cops. G-Force is actually kind of cool. Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. Watch it, or don’t, but it is what it is.
33. The Croods (2013) 71%
A much more generic animated film than G-Force with less cool moments, but better rounded out and will probably feel inoffensive. The story centers around a family of cavemen trying to survive until they find a new cave, and while Cage isn’t outrageous as the father, I feel he puts in a decent performance. Ryan Reynolds and Emma Stone round out the cast very nicely. The obvious moral lesson is fine. Not a movie you should go out of your way to see but there are worse babysitters for your kids.
32. Season of the Witch (2011) 11%
A movie where Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman are witch hunters under the employ of Christopher Lee, this film was always destined to be nothing more than a bit of stupid fun and I don’t think in that sense it dissapointed. It’s certainly far better than the staggeringly similar Outcast. The whole film is a will-they-won’t-they around whether or not our disaffected crusaders will execute an accused witch or not, but spoiler, instead of a tactful resolution they sword fight a fire-breathing, zombie controlling demon. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
31. Primal (2019) 36%
The most anticipated Cage movie of this year, it looks like Primal disappointed many but I certainly don’t think it deserved that. A film about trying to survive on a boat filled with an assassin and many deadly animals, Primal’s main issues are those of budget and directorial experience: bad CGI, regrettable lighting choices, and a third act that slows down just a bit too much. But at least for those first two acts I was getting real Alien vibes, or at least something on par with Cage classics like Con Air or The Rock. And while it ultimately doesn’t feel like a movie I’ll keep going back to, it was a B movie that I had fun with, and clearly one that Cage had fun with too. His semi-romantic interest, a great performance from Famke Janssen, is even his own age for once (although she sure doesn’t look it). And while many of the cast are nobodies, whoever Kevin Durand is plays such creepy villain that I hope he becomes somebody someday.
A movie that those in the know would probably think I should be rating higher. Just look at that Rotten Tomatoes rating, the highest so far. The film about about a tree poisoner (real thing) who can't stop getting mixed up with the law, Joe is known for being an island; a relatively good Nicolas Cage movie at a time when his career was considered dead. One of the recurring things about these low budget movies is that they’re all exploitative, especially with sexual violence against women. While Joe may be excellently written, shot, and acted, it is no less an exploitation movie, something ugly, perverse, and bleak, with no real moral lesson for those who watch it. We’re supposed to sympathize with Joe, but he’s actually kind of awful and it seems like his problems would be avoidable if he was less awful. I will give this movie its credit; the film has multiple distinct junkie characters so realistic that I could make a mental note of when I had the misfortune of meeting them in real life.
39. National Treasure (2004) 45%
Ah, National Treasure. Cage’s Smoke on the Water, his Werewolves of London, his Rock & Roll All Nite. It’s the song that all the normies love but that true fans don’t feel is really representative of his oeuvre. National Treasure is a film as stupid as it was successful, and not because Cage makes a mockery of it. If you squint you can see the Disney branded choke collar around his neck at all times. This is Dan Brown’s Indiana Jones. It is a bit of wholesome fun and performances by Sean Bean, Harvey Keitel, and Diane Kruger are all appreciated, but that’s about it.
38. Teen Titans Go! To the Movies (2018) 91%
The Teen Titans cartoon reboot was rather infamous given that the creators were quoted as “not caring about the original show” and the fact that the once action-oriented superhero show became rather juvenile humor fop. But I hear it got better and the movie is evidence enough of that. While most of the Titans are uninteresting hooligans, the film succeeds as a parody of other superhero films with a few very entertaining set pieces. After all, they cast Nicolas Cage as Superman. Once upon a time, Tim Burton was supposed to make a Superman movie and it would star Cage. That never came to pass, but pictures of Cage in costume are highly memeable, I guess so highly that it became its own movie here. While this might be the greatest meme of Cage’s career, he’s sadly not in it that much, nor is his Superman anything to write home about.
37. The Wicker Man (2006) 15%
Speaking of Nicolas Cage memes, we arrive at the other biggest one. Now I mentioned a whole half a list ago that Cage has two movies on IMDb’s bottom 100. This is the other one and frankly it’s pretty overrated as a bad film. This is a sub-mediocre remake. We get a dozen of these every year. What sets this one apart? Nothing but the Youtube compilations. People who see clips of Cage from this movie and don’t understand the actor think “wow, this sure is evidence that the movie sucks”. No! Those are the good parts! When Nicolas Cage isn’t dressing up as a bear and punching women the film meanders between dull and confusing. The great Cage parts aren’t even better in context. If you’ve seen a supercut, you can skip this film. Just don’t confuse a film like this that, while bad, gave us such sweet honey with the likes of absolute drivel like Left Behind.
36. Moonstruck (1987) 93%
This is a weird entry on the list as it’s the only one one to be nominated for best picture, but why??? It’s a dull, meandering film that lethargically hops between romantic subplots that are never interesting all the while babbling incoherently about moon curses and wolves. However, I would have been totally out of line if I didn’t bring up the scene where Cage screams about his wooden hand while portraying the ugliest Italian stereotype he could possibly muster. It is one of the greatest scenes in all his career.
35. Kill Chain (2019)
Another pleasant surprise, this one might be a bit of an artistic misfire but I love that Cage is being used by directors who are at least attempting to make real cinema. I didn’t like the camera work or editing. Some people won’t like the drastic colors, television pacing, or 90s video game soundtrack, though I didn’t mind these things. As a noir, Kill Chain is fairly incomprehensible for a while, but the last act being one long monologue by Cage really ties things together and of course is a joy to watch. I even really liked the performance of relative unknown Anabelle Acosta. Though this film isn’t going to win any awards, I think there is a lot to look forward to for Cage fans if this is the least we can expect from him from now on.
34. G-Force (2009) 22%
If there was one movie that I was certain would be one of Cage’s worst, it was this one. Oh boy does this look awful on paper, and no doubt are a few eyebrows being raised right now. But the film is against all odds actually okay. The worst thing that can be said about the movie is that the cast tells jokes about twice a minute, but enough of them land so it’s alright. In G-Force, a film about a team of spy hamsters, Cage plays a member of this team who is a literal mole, and get this, actually a double-agent. That has surely blown some poor two year old’s brains out. Mole Cage, putting on his nerdiest most nasal congested tone, reprograms all the appliances on the planet to kill everyone, then assembles a giant robot Voltron style out of the appliances, then pulls down satellites out of orbit to fire at cops. G-Force is actually kind of cool. Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. Watch it, or don’t, but it is what it is.
33. The Croods (2013) 71%
A much more generic animated film than G-Force with less cool moments, but better rounded out and will probably feel inoffensive. The story centers around a family of cavemen trying to survive until they find a new cave, and while Cage isn’t outrageous as the father, I feel he puts in a decent performance. Ryan Reynolds and Emma Stone round out the cast very nicely. The obvious moral lesson is fine. Not a movie you should go out of your way to see but there are worse babysitters for your kids.
32. Season of the Witch (2011) 11%
A movie where Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman are witch hunters under the employ of Christopher Lee, this film was always destined to be nothing more than a bit of stupid fun and I don’t think in that sense it dissapointed. It’s certainly far better than the staggeringly similar Outcast. The whole film is a will-they-won’t-they around whether or not our disaffected crusaders will execute an accused witch or not, but spoiler, instead of a tactful resolution they sword fight a fire-breathing, zombie controlling demon. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
31. Primal (2019) 36%
The most anticipated Cage movie of this year, it looks like Primal disappointed many but I certainly don’t think it deserved that. A film about trying to survive on a boat filled with an assassin and many deadly animals, Primal’s main issues are those of budget and directorial experience: bad CGI, regrettable lighting choices, and a third act that slows down just a bit too much. But at least for those first two acts I was getting real Alien vibes, or at least something on par with Cage classics like Con Air or The Rock. And while it ultimately doesn’t feel like a movie I’ll keep going back to, it was a B movie that I had fun with, and clearly one that Cage had fun with too. His semi-romantic interest, a great performance from Famke Janssen, is even his own age for once (although she sure doesn’t look it). And while many of the cast are nobodies, whoever Kevin Durand is plays such creepy villain that I hope he becomes somebody someday.
30. National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) 36%
The sequel to National Treasure is often seen as a poor follow-up. Maybe it is a somewhat dumber and more outlandish film, but if you’re concerned about the artistic integrity of the sequel to National Treasure, you need to reexamine your priorities. Cage is much more unrestrained in this film, as evidenced by a delightful scene in which he pretends to be drunk in Buckingham Palace (he’s there to break into the Queen’s study). And as meme-worthy as “let’s steal the Declaration of Independence” is, never forget that in this film Cage kidnaps the president. It is clearly the stupider film and god bless it for that.
29. Wild at Heart (1990) 65%
Two-thirds of the way into our list and we have finally arrived at Cage’s good films (or at least in some cases so bad they’re good). Wild at Heart was directed by David Lynch, and you’re going to see that in the 90s Cage got to work with quite a variety of the best directors ever. Fresh from prison, Cage and Laura Dern break parole while fleeing from the latter’s controlling mother. Willem DaFoe plays a mean villain and Harry Dean Stanton and Crispin Glover are also in the mix. The film is relatively grounded for Lynch but unfortunately hardly his best. Highlight for Cage is his repeated monologues about the value of his snakeskin jacket.
28. Kick-Ass (2010) 76%
This comic book adaptation was an early film from a writer/director I personally quite like, Matthew Vaughn. Based off of a recent and fairly popular superhero deconstruction at the time, Kick-Ass is frustrating in how closely it adapts some things while how unnecessary its few changes were (much like Watchmen). It’s particularly galling that Cage, who is so perfect as the Batman knock-off Big Daddy, doesn’t get that character’s major emotional twist from the comic. In its own right however, the film is quite decent and launched the careers of Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Chloë Grace Moretz.
27. Raising Arizona (1987) 91%
Similar to Wild at Heart, this is a rather whimsical crime comedy featuring a southern-affecting Cage, a good female talent as his love interest (Holly Hunter), and a great director (or two, the Coen brothers). And likewise, I just don’t think it’s one of the Coen’s better films. I do know a lot of people really like it, and it’s not hard to see why: the film is genuinely funny and Cage makes a really cute couple with Hunter. But I expect a little more subtext from the Coens than I got here, and maybe that’s just my fault.
26. Matchstick Men (2003) 82%
Ridley Scott has such a varied library of movies under his belt, but I couldn’t help but feel this down to earth movie about con men was strange for him. Well, it’s as down to earth as a Cage film can be, as he plays a con man with - rolls dice - tourettes syndrome and begrudgingly teaches his daughter the craft. This is a film about con artistry, so to go into any detail about the plot would inevitably spoil things, but it’s really quite good. Unfortunately, the ending just left me a little unsatisfied.
25. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011) 18%
A film with a bafflingly low reception across the board, especially considering that people seem to think it’s worse than the original Ghost Rider. While it’s normal for a bad movie to have a worse sequel, Spirit of Vengeance completely abandons the direction of its predecessor. It also abandons its director, picking up Neveldine and Taylor of Crank fame. Spirit of Vengeance is a simple road movie not too unlike Logan. It relies on occasional awesome moments, like allowing Cage to ramble on about the effects of his demonic possession, or the Ghost Rider riding construction equipment complete with hellfire and brimstone. A scene in which the Ghost Rider pisses fire is so cool it has since become canonical.
24. Mandy (2018) 91%
If you’re reading this list, you’ve probably already heard of Mandy. The film was massively overhyped leading up to its release and will probably be solely credited with saving Nicolas Cage’s career. While I don’t think it quite lives up to the hype, there are things to like here. The revenge film is very slow but oozes with style and the soundtrack is lovely. It’s not a very weird movie, and even Cage’s performance is very understated. His Cagiest moment involves him in a staredown with a bad guy and he just looks like he’s seething madness. But he never screams or rants. For some people, this will be Cage at his best. For me, it’s just fine in its own right.
23. 8MM (1999) 22%
I’ve already commented on how Cage has been in quite a few edgy, exploitative movies, especially as his career slipped and his employers budgets with it. 8MM is the prime edgy Cage film, a movie about a private investigator looking into the source of snuff films and everything going downhill from there. It’s a bit slow and sometimes hard to watch, and up until the very end I might have been inclined to agree with those who don’t like the film. But ultimately, all the build-up and pain leads to a very fine breakdown from Cage, and at this point if you’re still reading you should understand what I’m about.
22. Lord of War (2005) 62%
This was one of the first Nicolas Cage movies I saw and I remembered it fondly enough. Generally I don’t really like these sort of rags-to-riches semi-historical crime stories. They all follow such an exact formula. If you’ve seen Blow, American Made, or the like, this is those movies but with guns instead of drugs. I wish I could say this film was so much more than its formula, but on rewatch I didn’t really think I could say that with confidence, despite Cage being a boon.
21. Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) 25%
It took the Fast & the Furious franchise five films to be any good at all. Gone in 60 Seconds had a similar stupid fun in only one film. I do have to emphasize stupid, as we’re definitely a bit on the so bad it’s good side of things here, what with the overcomplicated plot and too many odd characters. However, Cage brings such a fun energy to this film about stealing all the cars that silliness and over the top action really only enhance things. As one of Cage’s most commercially successful films, there’s obviously a really wide audience for this kind of schlock and I for one am crossing my fingers for an F&F crossover someday.
The sequel to National Treasure is often seen as a poor follow-up. Maybe it is a somewhat dumber and more outlandish film, but if you’re concerned about the artistic integrity of the sequel to National Treasure, you need to reexamine your priorities. Cage is much more unrestrained in this film, as evidenced by a delightful scene in which he pretends to be drunk in Buckingham Palace (he’s there to break into the Queen’s study). And as meme-worthy as “let’s steal the Declaration of Independence” is, never forget that in this film Cage kidnaps the president. It is clearly the stupider film and god bless it for that.
29. Wild at Heart (1990) 65%
Two-thirds of the way into our list and we have finally arrived at Cage’s good films (or at least in some cases so bad they’re good). Wild at Heart was directed by David Lynch, and you’re going to see that in the 90s Cage got to work with quite a variety of the best directors ever. Fresh from prison, Cage and Laura Dern break parole while fleeing from the latter’s controlling mother. Willem DaFoe plays a mean villain and Harry Dean Stanton and Crispin Glover are also in the mix. The film is relatively grounded for Lynch but unfortunately hardly his best. Highlight for Cage is his repeated monologues about the value of his snakeskin jacket.
28. Kick-Ass (2010) 76%
This comic book adaptation was an early film from a writer/director I personally quite like, Matthew Vaughn. Based off of a recent and fairly popular superhero deconstruction at the time, Kick-Ass is frustrating in how closely it adapts some things while how unnecessary its few changes were (much like Watchmen). It’s particularly galling that Cage, who is so perfect as the Batman knock-off Big Daddy, doesn’t get that character’s major emotional twist from the comic. In its own right however, the film is quite decent and launched the careers of Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Chloë Grace Moretz.
27. Raising Arizona (1987) 91%
Similar to Wild at Heart, this is a rather whimsical crime comedy featuring a southern-affecting Cage, a good female talent as his love interest (Holly Hunter), and a great director (or two, the Coen brothers). And likewise, I just don’t think it’s one of the Coen’s better films. I do know a lot of people really like it, and it’s not hard to see why: the film is genuinely funny and Cage makes a really cute couple with Hunter. But I expect a little more subtext from the Coens than I got here, and maybe that’s just my fault.
26. Matchstick Men (2003) 82%
Ridley Scott has such a varied library of movies under his belt, but I couldn’t help but feel this down to earth movie about con men was strange for him. Well, it’s as down to earth as a Cage film can be, as he plays a con man with - rolls dice - tourettes syndrome and begrudgingly teaches his daughter the craft. This is a film about con artistry, so to go into any detail about the plot would inevitably spoil things, but it’s really quite good. Unfortunately, the ending just left me a little unsatisfied.
25. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011) 18%
A film with a bafflingly low reception across the board, especially considering that people seem to think it’s worse than the original Ghost Rider. While it’s normal for a bad movie to have a worse sequel, Spirit of Vengeance completely abandons the direction of its predecessor. It also abandons its director, picking up Neveldine and Taylor of Crank fame. Spirit of Vengeance is a simple road movie not too unlike Logan. It relies on occasional awesome moments, like allowing Cage to ramble on about the effects of his demonic possession, or the Ghost Rider riding construction equipment complete with hellfire and brimstone. A scene in which the Ghost Rider pisses fire is so cool it has since become canonical.
24. Mandy (2018) 91%
If you’re reading this list, you’ve probably already heard of Mandy. The film was massively overhyped leading up to its release and will probably be solely credited with saving Nicolas Cage’s career. While I don’t think it quite lives up to the hype, there are things to like here. The revenge film is very slow but oozes with style and the soundtrack is lovely. It’s not a very weird movie, and even Cage’s performance is very understated. His Cagiest moment involves him in a staredown with a bad guy and he just looks like he’s seething madness. But he never screams or rants. For some people, this will be Cage at his best. For me, it’s just fine in its own right.
23. 8MM (1999) 22%
I’ve already commented on how Cage has been in quite a few edgy, exploitative movies, especially as his career slipped and his employers budgets with it. 8MM is the prime edgy Cage film, a movie about a private investigator looking into the source of snuff films and everything going downhill from there. It’s a bit slow and sometimes hard to watch, and up until the very end I might have been inclined to agree with those who don’t like the film. But ultimately, all the build-up and pain leads to a very fine breakdown from Cage, and at this point if you’re still reading you should understand what I’m about.
22. Lord of War (2005) 62%
This was one of the first Nicolas Cage movies I saw and I remembered it fondly enough. Generally I don’t really like these sort of rags-to-riches semi-historical crime stories. They all follow such an exact formula. If you’ve seen Blow, American Made, or the like, this is those movies but with guns instead of drugs. I wish I could say this film was so much more than its formula, but on rewatch I didn’t really think I could say that with confidence, despite Cage being a boon.
21. Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) 25%
It took the Fast & the Furious franchise five films to be any good at all. Gone in 60 Seconds had a similar stupid fun in only one film. I do have to emphasize stupid, as we’re definitely a bit on the so bad it’s good side of things here, what with the overcomplicated plot and too many odd characters. However, Cage brings such a fun energy to this film about stealing all the cars that silliness and over the top action really only enhance things. As one of Cage’s most commercially successful films, there’s obviously a really wide audience for this kind of schlock and I for one am crossing my fingers for an F&F crossover someday.
TheValkyries
proudly reppin' 2 superbowl wins since DEFLATEGATE
fast and the furious was good from movie one... And the best one is the third one.........................
If I had any level of drive and commitment I'd do what you're doing here but with Samuel L Jackson's Oeuvre. Jackson is absolutely my favorite actor and he is I think somehow, underrated.
If I had any level of drive and commitment I'd do what you're doing here but with Samuel L Jackson's Oeuvre. Jackson is absolutely my favorite actor and he is I think somehow, underrated.
I've probably seen at least 40 Sam Jackson films. Somehow he seems to my second most watched actor, as he just seems to show up in everything else I make an effort to watch (he's in two films on this list).
20. Zandalee (1991) 33%
Honestly kind of a sadly underrated film. It’s an erotic thriller that is genuinely sexy at times and a love triangle that is very interesting to watch. The cast is quite good and a recurring minor character from Steve Buscemi is especially memorable. The movie only falls apart when (spoilers) Cage dies by drowning in a swamp. It’s a very confusing scene for one thing, but mostly it's a shame because it removes the film’s strongest element: Nicolas Cage. From the moment his silhouette shows up in the doorway the avid Cage fan knows that they’re in for a wild ride with this one. If I was to show a single scene from his entire career to demonstrate his strengths as an actor, it would be one in which he just goes apeshit with a bucket of black paint.
19. Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) 86%
The story of a middle-aged woman who wakes up to find herself in high school again, this film was well received when it came out but hasn’t really stood the test of time. Personally I think it’s watchable enough popcorn fare that is never quite poignant enough or funny enough, except when Nicolas Cage is on screen of course. This is the final film Cage made with his uncle Francis Ford Coppola and it’s the film where he was really allowed a sizeable role, something that Coppola infamously regretted. For a good litmus test of whether someone is a true Cage fan, just observe whether they complain about Cage’s falsetto or fawn over it. Yes, the falsetto was entirely Cage’s idea and he even insisted on doing it when the directed demanded he stop, but I think it totally suits the character involved, a very arrogant and false person. Plus, I wouldn’t want to live in a world where Cage doesn’t naively talk about “his wang” in that voice.
18. Deadfall (1993) 0%
After pissing off his uncle, Cage would downgrade to his brother Christopher Coppola, and with a 0% Rotten Tomatoes rating, what a downgrade it was. Deadfall is definitely so bad it’s good, and while you could say that about other films higher on the list, it may be truer of this film than any other he’s been in. This “noir” is just completely awful from scene one, as if the director hadn’t even previously known what a movie was, let alone been born into one of the industry’s leading dynasties. It’s a terrible waste of the likes of James Coburn, Peter Fonda, Charlie Sheen, and Talia Shire. What’s not a waste at all is Nicolas Cage’s wonderfully unhinged performance as sleazy and out of control goon Eddie. Half the time he’s screaming obscenities, and the other half you can’t even make out what he’s saying at all. It’s only a shame that he dies in the second act. And while he’s replaced by the Tall Man from Phantasm sporting a giant metal crab claw for an arm, Cage is just an entity that cannot be completely replaced.
17. Bringing Out the Dead (1999) 73%
Like some other films I discussed 10 rankings ago, Bringing Out the Dead is a film from a great director, but not one of their best. The two important distinctions that elevate this movie are that that director is Martin Scorsese and that Nicolas Cage acts the hell out of his role as an overworked paramedic. I might sound like a broken record geeking out about how crazy Cage can be at times, but as we get higher on the list, we’re going to see more examples of how sometimes he just does a good job. The story is a serious drama about how overworked paramedics are and how dangerous that can be when you’re in the profession of saving lives. It works as a serious drama, but where there’s danger, you can also bet that some exciting things are going to happen, and Bringing Out the Dead does not relent in keeping its audience on the edge of their seats.
16. Army of One (2016) 25%
An overlooked film that came out just before Cage’s career became relevant again, this one is actually pretty entertaining. The main disclaimer is that your enjoyment of this film will hinge on your tolerance for Russell Brand. Having seen him many times on English television programs, I know there’s a time and place for him and that, like with many other notable English comedians, Hollywood just can’t figure out how to use him. That doesn’t mean he’s wisely cast here either, but I’m pretty agnostic on his portrayal of God overall. This is the story of Gary Faulkner, who you may vaguely remember as the guy who made the rounds on late night talk shows for personally trying to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden because God told him to. Somehow the filmmakers didn’t think this deserved a very faithful portrayal, so Cage is doing something between his Peggy Sue falsetto and the mole from G-Force. There are very few times in his career where Cage is used for broad comedy, and many of those other films were very bland and uncreative. It’s honestly a surprise and a shame that there aren’t more Cage films like this one, so while it may not be perfect, I definitely appreciate it for what it is.
15. Windtalkers (2002) 32%
I don’t generally like war movies. While movies about war are supposed to be anti-war in nature, as otherwise one would have to accuse their creators of being lunatics, there is almost always a glamour to the extreme violence that pulls things back into propaganda territory. Films like Platoon and Apocalypse Now are rare exceptions. Windtalkers is most definitely not. This film is infamous for being about the experiences of Native Americans during World War II, and yet largely giving focus to the white characters around them. For at least half this movie, I was certain that it would be one of Cage’s worst films. But the more I watched a film in which serious conversations about the conflict of defending a country from external threats while that same country has threatened your people for centuries are sidelined by Nicolas Cage screaming, charging guns akimbo at enemy combatants with a grenade primed between his teeth, all the while film doing John Woo slow-mo while doves are being released left and right, the more I realized, what the hell do I have to complain about?
14. Con Air (1997) 55%
Here we are in the territory of the popcorn classics. How much can I really about this film? You’ve seen it. You liked it. You’re confused to learn that almost half of critics hated it, but then, it is kind of stupid and bad movie really, but who cares about that? Nicolas Cage and John Cusack are trapped in an airplane full of criminals lead by John Malkovich, alongside Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney, Danny Trejo, and Dave Chappele, just to name a few. The dirty southern Cage trope is on point, or at least as on point as it ever has been.
13. The Rock (1996) 66%
I name drop a lot of actors just to fill space, but if there was one movie on this list you should watch for someone other than Nicolas Cage, it’s this film co-starring Sean Connery. “Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen,” is one of the best lines in any Cage film and Cage doesn’t even get to say it. It is also the film that made Michael Bay, for better or worse, but don’t expect something too overblown and stupid. Rather, this action films works on the strength of its interesting plot developments and the dynamic between Cage and Connery’s characters. Cage’s chemist inexplicably thrown into a terrorist incident is perhaps his most honest role, yet he does great things with it as he brings a level of bright-eyed excitement to even the most dire of situations. The villains are even sympathetic in their goals and there’s a morality play at work critical of the American government’s treatment of its soldiers, but this is held back by constant flag-waving military masturbation shots and some truly awful dialogue. It may not be one of the greatest films ever made, but it is hard to think that anyone could walk away from it without having enjoyed themselves.
12. Trespass (2011) 10%
I think this has the be the most underrated Cage film to date. On a side rant, critic and audience scores alike never make sense for Cage’s films. While he has many bad films that deserve bad ratings, even when it comes to those ratings are overly harsh and seemingly random. Taking the time to read reviews of Trespass, it doesn’t even seem like critics were watching the same movie. If you’ve read this far into the list, you know that I will not shy away from calling a film edgy or exploitative and taking points away for that. But in Trespass, the ugliness of its world is fed to the viewer through the viewpoints of its degenerate villains. Every plot twist revolves around how the family held hostage are in fact not as bad as would seem, but are actually surprisingly wholesome. In a world full of ugliness and hate, the story of Trespass struggles to hold up good family values in a way that I found very interesting. If Cage’s career wasn’t in the gutter at the time of its release, I would like to think people would have been open enough to notice that. Now that Cage is becoming popular again, and now that his villainous opposite Ben Mendelson is a hot product in Hollywood, I would really like to think that if people went back and gave this another chance, they would come away with a different opinion, if only because Cage and Mendelson both do an amazingly fantastic job.
11. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) 85%
This is another one that you’ll hear a lot of people call a really good movie. And while the film obviously has its merits to rank this highly, I would have expected something with a lot more class from a Werner Herzog movie with such high praise. The likely cause is the compromise of Herzog’s original vision. He wanted to make an original film about a corrupt cop, but the producers forced him to brand it as a remake to the 1993 Bad Lieutenant. Sometimes it's weirdly brilliant (“Shoot him again, his soul is still dancing”), but too much of the movie falls flat. As such I had to hold this movie back, even though it’s easily one of Cage’s five best performances ever. On display is everything you want from a Cage role: corruption, addiction, affliction, and the few strangely detailed familial relationships. Also he yells, curses, and threatens people a lot.
20. Zandalee (1991) 33%
Honestly kind of a sadly underrated film. It’s an erotic thriller that is genuinely sexy at times and a love triangle that is very interesting to watch. The cast is quite good and a recurring minor character from Steve Buscemi is especially memorable. The movie only falls apart when (spoilers) Cage dies by drowning in a swamp. It’s a very confusing scene for one thing, but mostly it's a shame because it removes the film’s strongest element: Nicolas Cage. From the moment his silhouette shows up in the doorway the avid Cage fan knows that they’re in for a wild ride with this one. If I was to show a single scene from his entire career to demonstrate his strengths as an actor, it would be one in which he just goes apeshit with a bucket of black paint.
19. Peggy Sue Got Married (1986) 86%
The story of a middle-aged woman who wakes up to find herself in high school again, this film was well received when it came out but hasn’t really stood the test of time. Personally I think it’s watchable enough popcorn fare that is never quite poignant enough or funny enough, except when Nicolas Cage is on screen of course. This is the final film Cage made with his uncle Francis Ford Coppola and it’s the film where he was really allowed a sizeable role, something that Coppola infamously regretted. For a good litmus test of whether someone is a true Cage fan, just observe whether they complain about Cage’s falsetto or fawn over it. Yes, the falsetto was entirely Cage’s idea and he even insisted on doing it when the directed demanded he stop, but I think it totally suits the character involved, a very arrogant and false person. Plus, I wouldn’t want to live in a world where Cage doesn’t naively talk about “his wang” in that voice.
18. Deadfall (1993) 0%
After pissing off his uncle, Cage would downgrade to his brother Christopher Coppola, and with a 0% Rotten Tomatoes rating, what a downgrade it was. Deadfall is definitely so bad it’s good, and while you could say that about other films higher on the list, it may be truer of this film than any other he’s been in. This “noir” is just completely awful from scene one, as if the director hadn’t even previously known what a movie was, let alone been born into one of the industry’s leading dynasties. It’s a terrible waste of the likes of James Coburn, Peter Fonda, Charlie Sheen, and Talia Shire. What’s not a waste at all is Nicolas Cage’s wonderfully unhinged performance as sleazy and out of control goon Eddie. Half the time he’s screaming obscenities, and the other half you can’t even make out what he’s saying at all. It’s only a shame that he dies in the second act. And while he’s replaced by the Tall Man from Phantasm sporting a giant metal crab claw for an arm, Cage is just an entity that cannot be completely replaced.
17. Bringing Out the Dead (1999) 73%
Like some other films I discussed 10 rankings ago, Bringing Out the Dead is a film from a great director, but not one of their best. The two important distinctions that elevate this movie are that that director is Martin Scorsese and that Nicolas Cage acts the hell out of his role as an overworked paramedic. I might sound like a broken record geeking out about how crazy Cage can be at times, but as we get higher on the list, we’re going to see more examples of how sometimes he just does a good job. The story is a serious drama about how overworked paramedics are and how dangerous that can be when you’re in the profession of saving lives. It works as a serious drama, but where there’s danger, you can also bet that some exciting things are going to happen, and Bringing Out the Dead does not relent in keeping its audience on the edge of their seats.
16. Army of One (2016) 25%
An overlooked film that came out just before Cage’s career became relevant again, this one is actually pretty entertaining. The main disclaimer is that your enjoyment of this film will hinge on your tolerance for Russell Brand. Having seen him many times on English television programs, I know there’s a time and place for him and that, like with many other notable English comedians, Hollywood just can’t figure out how to use him. That doesn’t mean he’s wisely cast here either, but I’m pretty agnostic on his portrayal of God overall. This is the story of Gary Faulkner, who you may vaguely remember as the guy who made the rounds on late night talk shows for personally trying to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden because God told him to. Somehow the filmmakers didn’t think this deserved a very faithful portrayal, so Cage is doing something between his Peggy Sue falsetto and the mole from G-Force. There are very few times in his career where Cage is used for broad comedy, and many of those other films were very bland and uncreative. It’s honestly a surprise and a shame that there aren’t more Cage films like this one, so while it may not be perfect, I definitely appreciate it for what it is.
15. Windtalkers (2002) 32%
I don’t generally like war movies. While movies about war are supposed to be anti-war in nature, as otherwise one would have to accuse their creators of being lunatics, there is almost always a glamour to the extreme violence that pulls things back into propaganda territory. Films like Platoon and Apocalypse Now are rare exceptions. Windtalkers is most definitely not. This film is infamous for being about the experiences of Native Americans during World War II, and yet largely giving focus to the white characters around them. For at least half this movie, I was certain that it would be one of Cage’s worst films. But the more I watched a film in which serious conversations about the conflict of defending a country from external threats while that same country has threatened your people for centuries are sidelined by Nicolas Cage screaming, charging guns akimbo at enemy combatants with a grenade primed between his teeth, all the while film doing John Woo slow-mo while doves are being released left and right, the more I realized, what the hell do I have to complain about?
14. Con Air (1997) 55%
Here we are in the territory of the popcorn classics. How much can I really about this film? You’ve seen it. You liked it. You’re confused to learn that almost half of critics hated it, but then, it is kind of stupid and bad movie really, but who cares about that? Nicolas Cage and John Cusack are trapped in an airplane full of criminals lead by John Malkovich, alongside Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney, Danny Trejo, and Dave Chappele, just to name a few. The dirty southern Cage trope is on point, or at least as on point as it ever has been.
13. The Rock (1996) 66%
I name drop a lot of actors just to fill space, but if there was one movie on this list you should watch for someone other than Nicolas Cage, it’s this film co-starring Sean Connery. “Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen,” is one of the best lines in any Cage film and Cage doesn’t even get to say it. It is also the film that made Michael Bay, for better or worse, but don’t expect something too overblown and stupid. Rather, this action films works on the strength of its interesting plot developments and the dynamic between Cage and Connery’s characters. Cage’s chemist inexplicably thrown into a terrorist incident is perhaps his most honest role, yet he does great things with it as he brings a level of bright-eyed excitement to even the most dire of situations. The villains are even sympathetic in their goals and there’s a morality play at work critical of the American government’s treatment of its soldiers, but this is held back by constant flag-waving military masturbation shots and some truly awful dialogue. It may not be one of the greatest films ever made, but it is hard to think that anyone could walk away from it without having enjoyed themselves.
12. Trespass (2011) 10%
I think this has the be the most underrated Cage film to date. On a side rant, critic and audience scores alike never make sense for Cage’s films. While he has many bad films that deserve bad ratings, even when it comes to those ratings are overly harsh and seemingly random. Taking the time to read reviews of Trespass, it doesn’t even seem like critics were watching the same movie. If you’ve read this far into the list, you know that I will not shy away from calling a film edgy or exploitative and taking points away for that. But in Trespass, the ugliness of its world is fed to the viewer through the viewpoints of its degenerate villains. Every plot twist revolves around how the family held hostage are in fact not as bad as would seem, but are actually surprisingly wholesome. In a world full of ugliness and hate, the story of Trespass struggles to hold up good family values in a way that I found very interesting. If Cage’s career wasn’t in the gutter at the time of its release, I would like to think people would have been open enough to notice that. Now that Cage is becoming popular again, and now that his villainous opposite Ben Mendelson is a hot product in Hollywood, I would really like to think that if people went back and gave this another chance, they would come away with a different opinion, if only because Cage and Mendelson both do an amazingly fantastic job.
11. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) 85%
This is another one that you’ll hear a lot of people call a really good movie. And while the film obviously has its merits to rank this highly, I would have expected something with a lot more class from a Werner Herzog movie with such high praise. The likely cause is the compromise of Herzog’s original vision. He wanted to make an original film about a corrupt cop, but the producers forced him to brand it as a remake to the 1993 Bad Lieutenant. Sometimes it's weirdly brilliant (“Shoot him again, his soul is still dancing”), but too much of the movie falls flat. As such I had to hold this movie back, even though it’s easily one of Cage’s five best performances ever. On display is everything you want from a Cage role: corruption, addiction, affliction, and the few strangely detailed familial relationships. Also he yells, curses, and threatens people a lot.
TheValkyries
proudly reppin' 2 superbowl wins since DEFLATEGATE
Sam Jackson tends to be the best part in everything he’s in.
10. Drive Angry (2011) 47%
The best of the so-bad-they’re-good movies, the story (well, string of set pieces) about John Milton escaping from hell to rescue his granddaughter from satanists, all while being chased by William Fichtner’s delightfully devilish accountant, is just one heck of a fun ride B movie road trip. There’s a scene in this movie where Cage engages in a gunfight mid-coitus, and I don’t even know how to describe the best scene involving an out of left field tanker truck (nor would I want to, it must be seen in context to be believed). This is a movie that Cage signed on for just because he was actively looking for a script where he would get his eyes shot out, so that should speak volumes for the whole production. The villains are fun and Amber Heard is so god damned sexy it makes you feel wrong.
9. Snake Eyes (1998) 40%
While Bringing Out the Dead, Raising Arizona, Bad Lieutenant, and Wild at Heart may not be their esteemed director’s respective best films, I think Snake Eyes is pretty par for the course for Brian De Palma. While I know not everyone loves De Palma, I’m not sure why this film was slept on. The story involves a corrupt cop investigating the assassination of the Secretary of Defense during a boxing match. Naturally the plot has some twists, but it’s the Atlantic City microcosm under lock down in the boxing stadium that provides the film so much fascinating detail and exciting color. And at the center of it is Rick Santoro, previously mentioned corrupt cop but not of the dangerously unhinged variety. Rather, this character is very affable, sees himself as a bit of a local celebrity, and continually tries to leverage attention, traits that lead to tragedy for him. This is not a story where anything ends nicely for anyone, but the journey there isn’t drudged under grim waters either.
8. The Weather Man (2005) 59%
Gore Verbinski’s Weather Man is the last film on this to be certified rotten, although just barely, and as usual, inexplicably. The film is about weather man David Spritz (stage name) going through a midlife crisis, but to really explain the appeal of it all would be to try to put into writing a sum of the parts. The weather man struggles to please his father (played by Michael Caine in perhaps his next best performance to Sleuth). He cannot connect with his children. He has to move on after his divorce. And for all his problems, he probably deserves most of them, but good god he’s trying his hardest. These are all presented as fascinating stories in their own right, but the sum total is a story that just kind of gets me, man. The patches of dark comedy really work and feel earned. The writing is just beautiful and deeply introspective. "All of the people I could be, they got fewer and fewer until finally they got reduced to only one; and that's who I am. The weather man."
7. Red Rock West (1993) 95%
In the establishing narrative scene of Red Rock West, Cage’s Michael Williams is a drifter who fails to land a job as he is too honest to conceal his bum leg. When he gets pulled into a criminal incident in a small town, a much more generic movie would show that all good people are corruptible. However, Michael only toys with the idea of wrongdoing. He never prospers but his character never falls. Typical of fiction, the movie plays with its concept using a situation that most people won’t find themselves in, however it displays a universal truth that anyone who has failed a job interview for being too honest might understand. Our society was not built for good people. How many jobs have you ever had that demanded that you cross moral boundaries, and possibly even legal regulations? Some readers may be able to say that all of their jobs have, yet those professions twist and try to normalize bad behavior in the name of capitalism. In life, we are all tempted by wrongdoing as Michael is and we all have to choose whether or not we’re going to continue to suffer just because we cannot stand the ugliness of evil. This is a very subtle noir film, even when it casts the likes of Nicolas Cage and Dennis Hopper. This is perhaps Cage’s most subtle performance ever, but it is never consequently boring. One can see the fire in Cage when it matters most.
6. Mom and Dad (2017) 75%
Sadly, the director duo Neveldine and Taylor split at some point, an event with little press or information regarding. One might expect Brian Taylor’s first movie on his own to suffer as a result, but instead we were given a movie almost as good as Crank 2. In Mom and Dad, all the parents of the world compulsively attempt to murder their children. The subtle horror of the story is that they don’t necessarily act out of malice. They simply go about their day as if killing someone they inherently love is as normal and necessary as taking out the trash on Friday. Though many children die, there are few gory deaths. But this is no PG-13 horror movie, just a really good one that manages to be riveting even before the main character’s parents show up and put them in direct danger at the halfway point.
Nicolas Cage is barely in the first half of this film, but it was enjoyable enough without him and that’s when you know you’re watching a really special Cage film. When he and Selma Blair show up they have such a screen presence that any absence is forgiven. In fact, Cage gets probably the best monologue of his career as he discusses the common plight of giving up on your dreams and replacing them with the love you have for your children. But as good as the film is throughout, it’s the twist in the last 10 minutes that causes everything to explode into outrageousness. And I couldn’t possibly take that away from anyone by saying more. This film proves that Cage has still got it, and that we should still have much to look forward to from him.
5. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) 97%
Of all the movies on this list, it’s fairest to assume that you already know what Spider-Verse is and why it’s great. You might have seen youtube breakdowns on the animation techniques on any given scene. You might love the humor of writer Phil Lord (Lego Movie, 21 Jump Street). You may have been touched by a wide variety of story beats that I wouldn’t want to spoil for a movie so new. And you might think it’s the best Spider-Man story in spite of being about Miles Morales (or maybe even because of). I know I do. This is pretty easily the best movie that Nicolas Cage has ever been in.
So why isn’t it #1 on this list? Well, he’s not in it all that much. Playing Spider-Man Noir, I would like to say that he steals every scene he’s in, except that he shares them all with John Mulaney and a literal anime girl. But like all parts of this film he is glorious, and I look forward to seeing him in the sequel.
4. Face/Off (1997) 92%
This was a film I slept on when I watched it years ago, and I’m glad I rewatched it post Windtalkers so that I could give it the rating it deserves for this list. It’s the movie where Nicolas Cage and John Travolta swap bodies and bullets. Granted, many of my old complaints are valid. The plot is stupid; why not switch their faces through magic like any other movie would have done? They needed to add a convoluted super prison subplot just to make little sense of using technology to switch the faces. This makes the film overly long and John Woo takes it all way too seriously. And if I could live in a more perfect universe, Willem Dafoe would have been cast instead of John Travolta (and you know I’m right!). And yet, all this can’t mitigate just how much of a bonkers fun ride that Face/Off is in the end. Cage puts in a fantastic performance pretending to be Travolta, and Travolta at least seems to be having a lot of fun. A lot of people would want this film to be #1 on this list, but I’d say to them, make sure you’ve seen the next three films first.
3. Vampire’s Kiss (1988) 61%
Perhaps my favorite Cage film and definitely a guilty pleasure that might sit on my personal favorite films list for years to come. In this film Cage plays an overbearing white-collar executive type who comes to believe that he is turning into a vampire. While it flopped back in its day, Vampire’s Kiss is very much the backbone of Cage’s career as a character actor and I don’t think any self respecting Cage fan could leave it out of their top five. Some will say that it is so bad it’s good, but I don’t know how anyone ever read this as anything other than an intentional comedy. Either way, it is by far the most quotable and most clippable film he has ever been in.
2. Leaving Las Vegas (1995) 90%
This is the movie that Nicolas Cage won his best actor award for, and he definitely deserved it. A low budget film, Leaving Las Vegas was literally the suicide note of the story’s original writer, a man who decided to drink himself to death in Vegas. It is a very somber and depressing movie. But the thing about Cage’s award here is that, while one of his best performances due to the excellent script and subject matter that he was perfectly cast for, it isn’t an uncharacteristic performance for him. Drunk, obnoxious, pathetic, and somehow just a little loveable. It’s not a film where he was a subtle, everyday actor. It’s the purest Cage film out there.
1. Adaptation. (2002) 91%
A “true” story about Hollywood writer Charlie Kaufman struggling to write an adaptation to the true story The Orchid Thief while also dealing with his personal frustrations as a man. This is not first and foremost a Cage film, rather it is very much a Charlie Kaufman film. So why would it be #1? Aside from the fact that being a Kaufman film is generally a very good thing, Cage plays both Charlie Kaufman and his fictional twin brother. We get two Cages for the price of one. You just can’t turn down that value. And both roles are as wonderful as the script, which for ostensibly being about real people, descends into complete madness by the time the credits role. By 2002 people already felt that Cage’s career was waning, and then he went and starred in his best film. Between that, Bad Lieutenant, and last year’s offerings from him, it just goes to show that you can’t count out a pure workhorse until they’re dead. And even though he still stars in somewhat mediocre movies, the horizon looks exciting and I can’t wait for his next great performance.
So what are y'all favorite Cage films? bugzinator Elise TheValkyries brightobject Panic Station RODAN (and if you haven't seen many, give one of the top 4 a shot!)
The best of the so-bad-they’re-good movies, the story (well, string of set pieces) about John Milton escaping from hell to rescue his granddaughter from satanists, all while being chased by William Fichtner’s delightfully devilish accountant, is just one heck of a fun ride B movie road trip. There’s a scene in this movie where Cage engages in a gunfight mid-coitus, and I don’t even know how to describe the best scene involving an out of left field tanker truck (nor would I want to, it must be seen in context to be believed). This is a movie that Cage signed on for just because he was actively looking for a script where he would get his eyes shot out, so that should speak volumes for the whole production. The villains are fun and Amber Heard is so god damned sexy it makes you feel wrong.
9. Snake Eyes (1998) 40%
While Bringing Out the Dead, Raising Arizona, Bad Lieutenant, and Wild at Heart may not be their esteemed director’s respective best films, I think Snake Eyes is pretty par for the course for Brian De Palma. While I know not everyone loves De Palma, I’m not sure why this film was slept on. The story involves a corrupt cop investigating the assassination of the Secretary of Defense during a boxing match. Naturally the plot has some twists, but it’s the Atlantic City microcosm under lock down in the boxing stadium that provides the film so much fascinating detail and exciting color. And at the center of it is Rick Santoro, previously mentioned corrupt cop but not of the dangerously unhinged variety. Rather, this character is very affable, sees himself as a bit of a local celebrity, and continually tries to leverage attention, traits that lead to tragedy for him. This is not a story where anything ends nicely for anyone, but the journey there isn’t drudged under grim waters either.
8. The Weather Man (2005) 59%
Gore Verbinski’s Weather Man is the last film on this to be certified rotten, although just barely, and as usual, inexplicably. The film is about weather man David Spritz (stage name) going through a midlife crisis, but to really explain the appeal of it all would be to try to put into writing a sum of the parts. The weather man struggles to please his father (played by Michael Caine in perhaps his next best performance to Sleuth). He cannot connect with his children. He has to move on after his divorce. And for all his problems, he probably deserves most of them, but good god he’s trying his hardest. These are all presented as fascinating stories in their own right, but the sum total is a story that just kind of gets me, man. The patches of dark comedy really work and feel earned. The writing is just beautiful and deeply introspective. "All of the people I could be, they got fewer and fewer until finally they got reduced to only one; and that's who I am. The weather man."
7. Red Rock West (1993) 95%
In the establishing narrative scene of Red Rock West, Cage’s Michael Williams is a drifter who fails to land a job as he is too honest to conceal his bum leg. When he gets pulled into a criminal incident in a small town, a much more generic movie would show that all good people are corruptible. However, Michael only toys with the idea of wrongdoing. He never prospers but his character never falls. Typical of fiction, the movie plays with its concept using a situation that most people won’t find themselves in, however it displays a universal truth that anyone who has failed a job interview for being too honest might understand. Our society was not built for good people. How many jobs have you ever had that demanded that you cross moral boundaries, and possibly even legal regulations? Some readers may be able to say that all of their jobs have, yet those professions twist and try to normalize bad behavior in the name of capitalism. In life, we are all tempted by wrongdoing as Michael is and we all have to choose whether or not we’re going to continue to suffer just because we cannot stand the ugliness of evil. This is a very subtle noir film, even when it casts the likes of Nicolas Cage and Dennis Hopper. This is perhaps Cage’s most subtle performance ever, but it is never consequently boring. One can see the fire in Cage when it matters most.
6. Mom and Dad (2017) 75%
Sadly, the director duo Neveldine and Taylor split at some point, an event with little press or information regarding. One might expect Brian Taylor’s first movie on his own to suffer as a result, but instead we were given a movie almost as good as Crank 2. In Mom and Dad, all the parents of the world compulsively attempt to murder their children. The subtle horror of the story is that they don’t necessarily act out of malice. They simply go about their day as if killing someone they inherently love is as normal and necessary as taking out the trash on Friday. Though many children die, there are few gory deaths. But this is no PG-13 horror movie, just a really good one that manages to be riveting even before the main character’s parents show up and put them in direct danger at the halfway point.
Nicolas Cage is barely in the first half of this film, but it was enjoyable enough without him and that’s when you know you’re watching a really special Cage film. When he and Selma Blair show up they have such a screen presence that any absence is forgiven. In fact, Cage gets probably the best monologue of his career as he discusses the common plight of giving up on your dreams and replacing them with the love you have for your children. But as good as the film is throughout, it’s the twist in the last 10 minutes that causes everything to explode into outrageousness. And I couldn’t possibly take that away from anyone by saying more. This film proves that Cage has still got it, and that we should still have much to look forward to from him.
5. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) 97%
Of all the movies on this list, it’s fairest to assume that you already know what Spider-Verse is and why it’s great. You might have seen youtube breakdowns on the animation techniques on any given scene. You might love the humor of writer Phil Lord (Lego Movie, 21 Jump Street). You may have been touched by a wide variety of story beats that I wouldn’t want to spoil for a movie so new. And you might think it’s the best Spider-Man story in spite of being about Miles Morales (or maybe even because of). I know I do. This is pretty easily the best movie that Nicolas Cage has ever been in.
So why isn’t it #1 on this list? Well, he’s not in it all that much. Playing Spider-Man Noir, I would like to say that he steals every scene he’s in, except that he shares them all with John Mulaney and a literal anime girl. But like all parts of this film he is glorious, and I look forward to seeing him in the sequel.
4. Face/Off (1997) 92%
This was a film I slept on when I watched it years ago, and I’m glad I rewatched it post Windtalkers so that I could give it the rating it deserves for this list. It’s the movie where Nicolas Cage and John Travolta swap bodies and bullets. Granted, many of my old complaints are valid. The plot is stupid; why not switch their faces through magic like any other movie would have done? They needed to add a convoluted super prison subplot just to make little sense of using technology to switch the faces. This makes the film overly long and John Woo takes it all way too seriously. And if I could live in a more perfect universe, Willem Dafoe would have been cast instead of John Travolta (and you know I’m right!). And yet, all this can’t mitigate just how much of a bonkers fun ride that Face/Off is in the end. Cage puts in a fantastic performance pretending to be Travolta, and Travolta at least seems to be having a lot of fun. A lot of people would want this film to be #1 on this list, but I’d say to them, make sure you’ve seen the next three films first.
3. Vampire’s Kiss (1988) 61%
Perhaps my favorite Cage film and definitely a guilty pleasure that might sit on my personal favorite films list for years to come. In this film Cage plays an overbearing white-collar executive type who comes to believe that he is turning into a vampire. While it flopped back in its day, Vampire’s Kiss is very much the backbone of Cage’s career as a character actor and I don’t think any self respecting Cage fan could leave it out of their top five. Some will say that it is so bad it’s good, but I don’t know how anyone ever read this as anything other than an intentional comedy. Either way, it is by far the most quotable and most clippable film he has ever been in.
2. Leaving Las Vegas (1995) 90%
This is the movie that Nicolas Cage won his best actor award for, and he definitely deserved it. A low budget film, Leaving Las Vegas was literally the suicide note of the story’s original writer, a man who decided to drink himself to death in Vegas. It is a very somber and depressing movie. But the thing about Cage’s award here is that, while one of his best performances due to the excellent script and subject matter that he was perfectly cast for, it isn’t an uncharacteristic performance for him. Drunk, obnoxious, pathetic, and somehow just a little loveable. It’s not a film where he was a subtle, everyday actor. It’s the purest Cage film out there.
1. Adaptation. (2002) 91%
A “true” story about Hollywood writer Charlie Kaufman struggling to write an adaptation to the true story The Orchid Thief while also dealing with his personal frustrations as a man. This is not first and foremost a Cage film, rather it is very much a Charlie Kaufman film. So why would it be #1? Aside from the fact that being a Kaufman film is generally a very good thing, Cage plays both Charlie Kaufman and his fictional twin brother. We get two Cages for the price of one. You just can’t turn down that value. And both roles are as wonderful as the script, which for ostensibly being about real people, descends into complete madness by the time the credits role. By 2002 people already felt that Cage’s career was waning, and then he went and starred in his best film. Between that, Bad Lieutenant, and last year’s offerings from him, it just goes to show that you can’t count out a pure workhorse until they’re dead. And even though he still stars in somewhat mediocre movies, the horizon looks exciting and I can’t wait for his next great performance.
So what are y'all favorite Cage films? bugzinator Elise TheValkyries brightobject Panic Station RODAN (and if you haven't seen many, give one of the top 4 a shot!)
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Con Air and Raising Arizona
Also, your description of Mom and Dad makes me wanna watch it.
Also, your description of Mom and Dad makes me wanna watch it.
Drive Angry is honestly way better than a so-bad-its-good movie has any right to be. Perfectly placed.
I still can't believe you thought Knowing was bad, but Proyas has always been extremely hit or extremely miss. I'm still mad that his movie version of Paradise Lost got canned.
I still can't believe you thought Knowing was bad, but Proyas has always been extremely hit or extremely miss. I'm still mad that his movie version of Paradise Lost got canned.
I last saw Knowing in theaters (so a long ass time ago), and while I didn't think it was bad at the time, nothing really good about it stuck with me over the years and I just think the premise is so hokey. Could you explain what stands out about it?
It's been a while since I saw it too, but I can try.
First I think that Nicolas Cage's somewhat bewildered, in-over-his-head acting is every bit as good as his unhinged ranting. Second, I enjoyed that they had the balls to actually go through with killing everyone. And I really liked the idea that the aliens weren't here to save the earth, just take a few people for some kind of species-preservation plan like humans have done with pandas an whatnot.
The movie didn't really "go" anywhere. Nicolas Cage's character unraveled the mystery, but he didn't win or succeed by doing so. He learned what was coming, but ultimately he and literally everyone else were powerless to stop it. I thought that was great and refreshing.
First I think that Nicolas Cage's somewhat bewildered, in-over-his-head acting is every bit as good as his unhinged ranting. Second, I enjoyed that they had the balls to actually go through with killing everyone. And I really liked the idea that the aliens weren't here to save the earth, just take a few people for some kind of species-preservation plan like humans have done with pandas an whatnot.
The movie didn't really "go" anywhere. Nicolas Cage's character unraveled the mystery, but he didn't win or succeed by doing so. He learned what was coming, but ultimately he and literally everyone else were powerless to stop it. I thought that was great and refreshing.
Love Face/Off so much, hits the emotional beats super consistently and you actually give a shit about the side characters. The dumb teenage daughter and the criminal wife/fried are actual compelling characters! Plus boat chase gunfight like come on
Hey ! First post in here, but I love cinema and wanted to share with you this. (Released in the United States on December 13, 2019)
For those of you who know Terrence Malick and who have watched his films, you already know what to expect. This movie is an absolute masterpiece, once again. I'm not going to describe the synopsis because of my trash English, but go watch this film, you will undoubtedly leave the room with tearful eyes. Malick provides us once again with his unique way of filming and building a narration. As always there is a very deep reflexion on humen, life, love and godhead. This time the christian inclination of Malick is way more pronounced ; but please enjoy the movie even if you're not christian.
10/10. The movie isn't without flaws, but they are really overwhelmed by the rest so I can't make them tone down the grade.
For those of you who want to discover this director go watch Tree of life, his masterpiece imo.
For those of you who know Terrence Malick and who have watched his films, you already know what to expect. This movie is an absolute masterpiece, once again. I'm not going to describe the synopsis because of my trash English, but go watch this film, you will undoubtedly leave the room with tearful eyes. Malick provides us once again with his unique way of filming and building a narration. As always there is a very deep reflexion on humen, life, love and godhead. This time the christian inclination of Malick is way more pronounced ; but please enjoy the movie even if you're not christian.
10/10. The movie isn't without flaws, but they are really overwhelmed by the rest so I can't make them tone down the grade.
For those of you who want to discover this director go watch Tree of life, his masterpiece imo.
This is my top 10. There is an insane amount of masterpieces that I haven't seen obviously.
1) Apocalypse now (watch this shit)
2) Tree of life
3) The godfather (all of them, 1rst is the best ; 3 isn't that bad) ("isn't that bad" = "masterpiece")
4) The Shining
5) Forrest Gump
6) The good, the bad and the ugly
7) Itinéraire d'un enfant gâté (French movie, mind blowing)
8) Pulp fiction
9) Psycho
10) Amadeus
Honourable mentions : Clockwork orange, 2001, Joker, Ludwig, One flew over the cuckoo's nest, West side story, Star wars, Dr Strangelove, Lord of the ring, Gladiator, Titanic, Braveheart, Will Hunting, New York New York, Taxi Driver, Gone with the wind, Mad Max, Whiplash, all Miyazaki, Metropolis, Inception
I haven't seen Citizen Kane, The Deer hunter, The Green mile, Blade Runner shame on me
1) Apocalypse now (watch this shit)
2) Tree of life
3) The godfather (all of them, 1rst is the best ; 3 isn't that bad) ("isn't that bad" = "masterpiece")
4) The Shining
5) Forrest Gump
6) The good, the bad and the ugly
7) Itinéraire d'un enfant gâté (French movie, mind blowing)
8) Pulp fiction
9) Psycho
10) Amadeus
Honourable mentions : Clockwork orange, 2001, Joker, Ludwig, One flew over the cuckoo's nest, West side story, Star wars, Dr Strangelove, Lord of the ring, Gladiator, Titanic, Braveheart, Will Hunting, New York New York, Taxi Driver, Gone with the wind, Mad Max, Whiplash, all Miyazaki, Metropolis, Inception
I haven't seen Citizen Kane, The Deer hunter, The Green mile, Blade Runner shame on me
TheValkyries
proudly reppin' 2 superbowl wins since DEFLATEGATE
Knives Out is outrageously fucking good, and immensely fun.
"that lassie got glassed and no cunt leaves here until we find oot wit cunt did it"