List is done. If you disagree you are a fake bond stan.
Starting off: "Quantum of Solace" tier
#25: Quantum of Solace
Do not watch this film. It is, unwatchably bad. It is the black hole of time that can never be returned. It is empty, vapid, nothing. The signal for any ranking on the internet is if this film is anywhere but dead last, ignore the list. The same can be said of the (obvious) #1 pick. Not only is QoS a failure of a bond film, it's a failed sequel, it's a failed FILM overall. It's nothing. You want a real reason? Ok. First of all, we have this weird obsession with shitting on america. They really had a hardon for this in 2008, what with a global financial meltdown in progress and middle east aggression never ending, etc. Cue the character who is paid a multi-million dollar bribe...in euros "as requested...the dollar is not what it once was". What? Oh yeah, and the entire film's plot is about America being addicted to oil so much that it imposes a dictator in *throws dart* bolivia for cheap oil. And MI6 has to play ball with the CIA, because they want the oil too. Everything is about oil. The big twist? There isn't any oil. The evil corporation taking over the country was after water, not oil. Will this plot point go anywhere? No, absolutely not. I think the villain in this movie gets about 45 or 50 actual lines, and bond gets face to face with him four times. Oh well. More time to masturbate about how america is evil and we don't trust anybody. Bring back Matthias just to throw him away. Bring back felix to throw him away. Why is bond a rogue agent again? Why is he constantly blamed for underlings killing themselves before MI6 can question them? Pay no attention, it's an experimental bond film. The last line..."Bond, I need you back". "James Bond Will Return!"....but, will he?
Now, onto generally "bad" movies aka "Generic Roger Moore movies" tier
#24: Live and Let Die
Yeah, it's the worst bond film. There really isn't much more to say. It is again, empty, boring, of no consequence. I think this is probably the one "true" bond movie you could actually skip and lose nothing. It's classic to not have the villains just shoot bond, but it goes a little too far this time after kananga lets bond slip about four times. Yes...feed him to the crocodiles. Oh well, at least his escape sets up a 20 minute speedboat chase that did not need to be in the film. Why does "Mister Big" need to exist? Pointless twists clearly aren't a recent movie phenomenon. The theme song is the only good part.
#23: Skyfall
Perhaps the most ultimate James Bond take...or at least second-most ultimate (that will come later). Skyfall is a bad movie. Read any review of the film and they will praise Sam Mendes's 'godly cinematography' that 'breathes new life' into the franchise after the disaster of QoS. Well....maybe, but I think somebody forgot that this isn't Kubrick, this is James Bond. There's no point in having a movie that looks good if your movie actually turns out to be
fucking boring. People say the worst part about the opening sequence is that it steals from Bourne, but I'm pretty sure the worst part is where Bond suddenly grows a consience for his fellow agent and wastes time trying to save his life after a fatal gunshot, and then gets chastized about this by M. What? What character is this? M's relationship in general is horrifying in this film. In goldeneye: "If you don't think I have the balls to you to your death, bond, you're dead wrong." This time? Well, M suddenly became his mommy and can't bear the thought of Bond not being around. Why are we obsessed with bond retiring or dying? "Where have you been?"..."Enjoying Death". "What's your hobby?"..."Resurrection". Who wrote these? Such horrid trailer bait lines that add nothing to any scene. And of course thanks to sony pictures' production team we have to visit a yellow-brown foggy mess once in the film, a tradition established by QoS.
Now, not everything is bad, of course there is one excellent scene with Silva and Bond, where he describes that they are the last two rats of MI6 and can either eat everyone else or eat each other. Great character. Too bad this all gets thrown out the window and Silva dissolves a one-dimensional revenge machine. Mhm yes, 00 program is obsolete, we're in a new era of spying, etc etc...and to top it off we have home alone 4: lost in scotland. A grating experience.
#22: The Man with the golden gun
Where the theme song of Live and Let die is the only good part of the film, this movie's song actually paints a picture of a BETTER film that we did not get to see. And for real, it would be a great movie. "If you need to get rid of someone...use the man with the golden gun! No one can catch him, no hitman can match him!" Well...actually he seems pretty matchable, by the dullest bond of the series and his bored girlfriend. How many times can we mention that third nipple, though? This movie is also notable for bond shoving his girlfriend in a closet and cucking her in real time as he bangs the villain's girlfriend instead. If that's not enough.......
TAHKE MISTAH BOND TO SCHOOOL.
#21: Spectre
Is Spectre better than Skyfall? Yes, but barely. Why do I rate this higher than it deserves (second to last)? Potential. When comparing this movie with the other "anthology" bond film, OHMSS, it actually stacks up extremely well. Bond taken off duty, out of a revenge vendetta? Check. A meeting with the ultimate villain of bond's life, who has masterminded everything behind the scenes? Check. An Alpine chase scene off a mountaintop medical clinic? Check. It has all the trappings of a great film. The opening is sick, too. So this film has the potential to actually be excellent. But somewhere this got muddled up, extremely badly. We are again obsessed with bond retiring, so this time the angle will be he finds the perfect girl who he falls in love with (after about 6 minutes of onscreen time, of course) and will give up his role as a spy to be with her. Then we journey into the villain's lair, which will be in the dusty yellow desert because of course it will be (note: no time to die is shot by universal and has no dusty desert at all). Bond is tortured by Blofeld to destroy his balance and ability to recognize women (?), then escapes and blows up the entire compound with a single AK74. Huh? Is this
Brazil? To continue the bizzarre conclusion, we end with blofeld sitting in a helicopter while bond chases after him and takes it down with a single shot from his pistol (?), where blofeld could have instead just lifted off to gain altitude and been a villain in a much better film. But no, we have to have bond retire. All the while, the side characters continue to masturbate that the world has changed and spies are no longer necessary, the 00 program is being ended, surveillance is bad...somehow this movie rips off both john wick 2 (chase in rome), mission imossible 4 (visit to north africa and a showdown in london) and bourne (le surveilance is evil, mc falls in love with girl over her head while running from assassins) at the same time while providing almost nothing of its own beyond the first 30 minutes.
#20: Thunderball
Like Spectre, the first thirty minutes of this movie are pretty darn good. At the time, these were some killer effects, and simulations of a Vulcan cockpit too. Unfortunately the setup of having 4 days to save the world from nuclear destruction never pays off, as the mystery of where the bombs were was solved by bond instantaneously and we get to spend the rest of the movie with henchmen bumbling around failing to kill bond. The acting is all-around awful from all our side characters. However, on a measure of most sharks per minute of screen time, this film easily takes the #1 spot.
#19: Moonraker
James Bond will go to outer space...and we'll make millions! Bring back Jaws too, but make him a good guy this time. What's that? Our entire budget was spent on laser effects and an (impressive) space station sound stage? No budget for acting classes for *throws dart* Holly Good Head? It's bond in space, baby!
Another film that could have been much better, if it had taken itself less seriously. This absolutely could have been the hammiest Bond film, but there's too many shots of hot 20-something aryan women and not enough of the (excellent) hugo drax twirling his moustache. It is hilarious how the one time bond actually reports to his superiors that he's solved the case and they all fly out on amoment's notice to check out the evil villain chemical weapons lab, it's been moved out of the country so no evidence remains in just under 8 hours. You're removed from duty, 007! Sad trombone. Then again, at least it has jokes.
#18: The Spy Who Loved Me
I'll just let Von's review carry most of this, pretty much. Again this film is just too fucking boring, and with more terrible acting from the girl. Bad love interest acting really isn't a staple, they made that up in the Moore era for some reason. That tanker sequence, though. Really something else. I'd love to watch a movie of just that and the helicopter chase.
#17: Never say never Again
It's better than Thunderball, at least. For about the 5th movie, the first half is excellent. That clinic fight? The villainess? The theft of the nuclear weapons? Every moment is fantastic and sets up a great plot...until the main villain opens his mouth. The bad acting budget went to the man this time instead of the woman. How progressive! At least we get bond being an epic gamer and destroying the villain at the game of
Domination, which the villain programmed himself. How Bizarre. And uh...domino gets sold to arabic slavers? Come to think of it, why do we also watch domino doing yoga for a gratuitous 30 seconds in spandex? And we've got the (original) BDSM villain girl out there delivering spankings and dressing up in nurse costumes...god damn, the entire film is a fetish fanfic! In sharks per minute of screen time, this movie comes in at a depressing third, and they kill all the sharks shown on screen too :(
#16: A View to a Kill
Almost all roger moore films are bad...but that doesn't mean they can't be enjoyable. Supposedly, duran duran met albert broccoli at a party and asked him when they'd get somebody decent to do a bond title song. Well, they
should have kept looking. Autotune wasn't invented to fix terrible vocals back then, unfortunately. The enternal question: would the villain have been better as David Bowie, or is Walken enough? I think Walken is probably the better choice, just for sheer insanity. At least Roger Moore finally got with the picture and stopped treating the films seriously. This movie deserves to be higher, really, cause I can't keep thinking of good things about it. It's bad...but so bad it's good.
Whoa, OHHH! MAH CAR!!!!! OHHHHH!!!! OH MY CARRR!!!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHH!
The "good" movies
#15: Dr. No
I think this movie has the distinction of being the only bond film set at one geographical location the whole time. So that's something. Other than that, it's a "classic". The titular character is great, and the tropes weren't stale because...well, they came here first. It's not good, it's not that bad. Should you watch it? I'd say yes.
#14: Octopussy
Probably Roger Moore's best "true" bond film. Would it have been better with Dalton? I don't think so. You need that ham that only Moore could provide. The worst I can really say about this one is just...the plot, really. It's not too confusing, or too boring, it's just not that interesting. A Russian general wants to...set off a nuclear bomb in germany, to force the west to...get rid of their nukes? Paving the way for the soviet union to...invade? I guess that's what qualified for peak cold war tension in the 80s? Man, that intro sequence is a killer, the best of moore's career. And this movie is actually funny! Imagine that! It's a multitude of little things that keep this from being a top 10.
#13: For Your Eyes Only
More enjoyable than Octopussy? I don't know. More potential? Absolutely. A classic spy tale with the appropriate amount of sex and violence. The reveal of Columbo goes over well, the skiing is excellent, and Melina Havelock is probably the best bond girl. So why does it lose marks? Well, the idea is that the girl is so obsessed with revenge that she isn't a love interest, which is cool. Probably the coolest idea the writers ever came upwith. Except it forces bond into a buddhist monk-like mentor role to her. He actually quotes "before you go out for revenge, dig two graves". Sure...but didn't you just dump blofeld down an industrial smokestack? And the revenge target gets killed by a side character anyway, so the net result is nothing changes, and the not-love-interest becomes the love interest anyway. Well, better her than the 17 year old girl. Boy, her scenes are creepy.
#12: License to Kill
A great premise that unfortunately just gets too muddy in the middle. We're going with the "one true love" thing again for the girl? A bit of a strange direction. Dalton delivers on a darker bond, we've got great action and comedy. The opening is a killer, the ending is a killer. Iguanas are the true drug lord's pets. Benicio is excellent...we gave her a nice, HONEYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. It's not got enough great stuff to be a truly great movie, but it's in the solidly better half. In terms of sharks per minute on screen, this movie ranks second, and gets major points for not killing any of them. There's a swordfish too.
#11: the world is not enough
Alert for the future: this is my least favorite brosnan movie. It's still pretty good, mostly for character reasons than action. Elektra is a top 5 villain, but really gets tiring by the end of things. Teeheeheehee...I'm a sexy GIRL villain! Surprised you didn't I? Now let me become incredibly one dimensional for the last thirty minutes. The action is...only average, with the exception of a couple great moments. The pipeline pig scene may well be the greatest scene in any "classic" bond film. The ending on the submarine is probably the only reason I'd stick around through the whole thing, though. Again, too muddy in the middle.
#10: Diamonds are Forever
It's a good movie, for all the wrong reasons. While other films are the best or the biggest, this is probably the most important bond film. By bringing connery back after the "finale" that lazenby took (or...filled in) from him for another round, the producers cemented bond as an icon. This is the first bond played completely as a comedy, and it succeeds. There's not a single side character who doesn't deliver this time. Smuggling diamonds around actually is somewhat interesting, but the lack of a payoff finale keeps this from being a truly great movie. Shut off your brain and you'll have a great time.
#9: You only live twice
One of my absolute favorite bonds as a kid; I expected it to suffer on the rewatch but really it stays just as good and other films rose up to succeed it. It invented every spy movie trope there is, and there IS a reason that megalomaniac villains get elaborate secret lairs now, because this was a monumental set build. The first half is again completely excellent, somehow these old films just are great at setting up mystery. Of course the side character acting doesn't hurt either. Blofeld is always one step ahead of bond, yet the henchmen keep bond alive until we can have them meet face to face. There are a lot of scenes here that don't really "belong" (ninja training, dockyards fight, bond....marrying a japanese girl), but they also don't really detract from the movie too much. The best finale of any bond in the series, and the benchmark for all hammy bonds in the future.
The "excellent" movies, aka "Pierce Brosnan" tier
#8: The Living Daylights
The Living Daylights is the best-paced bond film in the entire lineup. Where so many bond films simply choose an exotic location to visit next, TLD really demonstrates the struggle bond has of actually journeying there. The first 30 minutes set an excellent stage, and the middle doesn't even let the film down. The only way the movie could have been improved is if they actually got General Gogol to stick around, but Pushkin's actor definitely fills the big shoes. Bond's vienna contact is another fantastic character who helps us see Dalton's pure rage as bond. It's mysterious, it's subdued, it's funny...and the producers were trying to get Dalton two films prior to this one! Kara is a damn great bond girl, too. Oh yeah, and people say bond was ripping off bourne? Well, bond did the tangier rooftop chase sequence first, so...
#7: From Russia with Love
A film I thought for sure would end up in my bottom 5 completely blew me away on the rewatch. Another "most important" film that enabled bond to be a franchise instead of a passing trend, like so many others have said before. Like other great films, there's no weak scene, but the difference is that there's no mediocre scenes either. Every scene is crisp and important. The side characters in Dr. No were forgettable, but here they make the film, both heroes and villains. Kerim Bay is an unmatched sidekick for at least 10 more films, and somehow all the future bond girls forgot to take acting classes from the heroine here. Let's not forget kronsteen...who is bond compared to kronsteen? A character with less than 20 lines in the script who acts far beyond his level. The best spy movie on the list, by far.
#6: Tomorrow never dies
Goldeneye had a marginally better introduction, but this one comes a very close second. Really getting mileage out of that british navy destroyer set, eh? M's at her best in this movie, even though she is only present in the beginning. The jokes land every time in this movie, perfect setup for the craziest villain in bond history. And, well...it's set up to play off that! Elliot carver knows he's insane, of course "the difference between insanity and genius is measured only by success". Wai Lin is the benchmark of every other bond girl, and none of them measure up quite as well. You'd think the gadget overload would hurt the movie, but it never really overstays its welcome. That car chase is short but so great. Of course Dr Kaufman is a scene stealer and Al Matthews of Aliens comes in second. The finale is hammy, over-the-top, full of great fights...it's got everything you could want. Where's the bad scene? Where's the bad character? There isn't one.
#5: Die another Day
What is undoubtedly the most nuclear take on any bond ranking. Come for the over-the-top action...but, stay for a deeply personal bond film with echoes of Dalton's tenure. For a start, the opening sequence is something else. It's washed out in color to give the aura of the decrepit north korean lifestyle. This bond is an assassin, and he doesn't beat around the bush. He knows he's been sent to kill colonel moon and there's likely no escape. As he says later, he threw away his cyandine pills and is ready for whatever torture comes to him. What's the only thing keeping him alive through two years of torture? The knowledge that there's a mole in MI6 who's going to keep killing until bond shuts them down. After being released from NK and traded for a terrorist, Bond is furious, knowing that there should never be a deal to trade him for a terrorist's life. Bond once again has been betrayed by the mole. M shames bond and removes him from service, and Bond for the first time agrees. He's happy to operate outside the system. This movie is about the journey back into the system that betrayed him. This is brosnan's best acting in bond by far. (almost) no other bond has shown pure RAGE like he can.
After that's all done, you get some of the best action the decade had to offer. Spy car-vs-spy car chase on ice? Sword fight on an exploding plane? Escape from the cuban clinic? The most common quip about this movie is the "bad CGI", but frankly who cares? It's on screen for all of ten seconds. If you're letting that drag down the movie you need to reevaluate what you came here for. The couple minutes we get of John Cleese are sublime; their relationship is just as good as Llywellens. Invisible Car? You must be joking...but of course, bond never jokes about how hammy the movies are. Is that really where we draw the line? Bond's always taken liberties. Halle Berry is great, she should have gotten that spinoff series. Frost is great, Zhao is great...and then people complain about the villain being too cheesy and unrealistic. Well, that's exactly the point. He says it himself, he's a parody of bond (and richard branson, too). Release the movie today and kids would be comparing him to elon musk. You end it all with a legitimate conflict between the USA and NK, playing out with the intention not to start a war but be prepared for it when it happens. General Moon is a sympathetic figure, set up through the whole film. Like the other greats, there's not a bad scene, and brosnan showed off his true range all throughout. nine out of ten.
#4: On Her Majesty's Secret Service
I like to talk about potential. This film had the potential to be the greatest bond film of all time, without question. Watch the opening credits to understand why. The theme in this film is electronic, sinister, although it only got that way because the composer didn't really know a way to work "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" as lyrics into the song. The primary image throughout the titles is "time," the hourglass is running out, bond cannot run forever. The original plot point had bond undergo plastic surgery to hide his identity...a wise drop in hindsight, but they left in blofeld changing his appearance too. Bond and blofeld spend about thirty minutes on screen together before the sharade is dropped. There is honestly no greater moment in bond history than when blofeld wakes up bond with a "good evening 007". They both know why they're here. They are equals for each other, in espionage and also action. The 15-minute ski scene is absolutely sublime. A good thirty minutes is a constant escape from blofeld, continuing across multiple scenes. This film is the anthology of all of connery's history with Spectre; it's the sum total of every villain he's fought. Blofeld's ultimate trick--destroy all of humanity unless he's granted amnesty and a noble title. Even he hopes that he isn't tasked with destroying the world. In fact, the world governments are willing to pay up; bond has to take action himself as a personal vendetta to settle things.
Bond is...betrothed to the daughter of the world's second largest crime boss early on. Both he and tracy make it clear that they want nothing to do with each other...at first. This results in some of the greatest character development in any bond film. The finale doesn't end with a volcano base exploding or a submarine sinking, rather just a "simple" shootout in the villain's lair. Blofeld's organization is finished too; there aren't armies of agents to topple governments any more. So, at the finale, blofeld is really finished. This was his all-in play. Spectre is out of the question and won't return for another thirty years in film. Happily ever after. Bond can settle down and marry his new bride. The story is over.
No. It isn't. Bang. You can't outrun the clock any more.
So what holds it back? Well, not much, I think just every film above this one is just a little bit better.
#3: Goldfinger
Honestly this is overrated in this list, but lowering it feels like a true crime. It's the ultimate connery film and it is 100% the most influential film in bond's history. What more is there to say that hasn't been said.
#2: Goldeneye
I keep talking and talking about characters, but this movie has such a great cast of side characters. In fact, bond may be the most boring one there is. Yadda yadda 90s reinvented prove bond is relevant after cold war, M's performance here by Judi dench is absolutely legendary. Her scene is worth the entire film itself. Domineering over bond but willing to show him the respect he deserves...and no more. Xena is, I believe, the last villain to be beaten by bond in cards on screen in the series history. Natalya is probably the best bond girl in the series history. Boris, Ourumov, Jack Wade...you've got it all. I believe one of the best lines in history is about Trevallyan's parentage. "How did MI6 miss that your parents were lienz cossacks?" "They didn't miss. They knew". Truly, the intelligence world at its finest. And THAT is how you set up a villain's backstory, take note Spectre. Let's also mention that the sound design and how it is radically different from the series history, yet very quality. The LACK of sound on the opening swan dive is excellent. You've got trevallyan's tragic theme and the finale's undertones are great too. One of the only movie's themes I can remember that's not the standard one.
And of course, the "supreme" tier aka "Casino Royale" tier
#1: Casino Royale
If this movie is not at the top of any ranking, disregard immediately. The movie is a deconstruction of bond's entire franchise. It's not a bond film. There are no gadgets, there is no orchestral bond theme, there's no gunbarrel. Instead you get one of the greatest action films of the 2000s. Every shot in the film is perfectly paced and perfectly constructed. The movie honestly deserves baggage for inspiring three followups that attempted to rip off its "gruff and gritty" aesthetic, but fuck you this film is too good even if you roll its successors into it as well. You can't subvert a trope more than once, and this was the money shot that did them all at once. I've seen this film at least 10 times, and rewatching it again felt no worse than the first time. Watch this film. Do it tonight.
Movies ranked the same:
if you exclude the old casino royale from my list...von and I rank quantum, casino royale (the good one), octopussy, and from russia with love the same. And, never say never again, view to a kill, and spy who loved me are right next to each other too.
