Let's Play! Jimera0's Old School Updates: Soul Silver Gauntlet! Part 2 up!

Long, Rambling, Probably Unnecessary Introduction
Way back in the heyday of the Scramble challenge, around 2011-2012, I used to do something special with my Scramble challenges. In fact, I sort of set off a trend that endured right up until the Scramble Challange began to lose steam in 2013 and all the old regulars happened to drift off at once. What I did was write long form updates for my Scrambles that were intended to entertain rather than inform, something that was virtually unknown when I started my first Scramble. They were basically Let's Plays without pictures or videos. This led directly to two different things for me. One was the Gauntlet Challenge, (old thread here, new thread you should actually use here.) which was inspired by the desire to have a Scramble-like experience without being quite as restricted in my decisions. The other was my Twitch thread and channel, which is probably what I'm best known on the forums for today. How I got to the Twitch channel is a bit convoluted, since it started with video scramble updates that turned into Google+ hangout updates that eventually turned into Twitch streaming, but the line of progression does lead right back to those written updates.

In any case, what was once thriving is now floundering. The Scramble Challange is a shadow of its former self, and the Gauntlet challenge never really got to self-sustainability. It's sad seeing those threads now, when there's still as much potential as ever. What it really comes down to is I want to see both my Gauntlet Challenge and the Scramble Challange thriving again. I miss the days where there were so many people eager to give out Scramblemons and Gauntlet challenges that people actually had to reserve spots in order to avoid losing their spots to rushers, where people would actually post regular, entertaining updates instead of getting their challenges and disappearing, and where there was a real community built up around these challenges that knew what was good and what was bad.

Well, after seeing Deinosaur's Let's Play thread seeing my second Gauntlet thread slowly stir back to life, I had an idea how to breath some life back into what now seems a forgotten art. It's time to bring back written updates, and I'm going to start with a Gauntlet in the same game I did my first Gauntlet in: Soul Silver version. It's time to show the new blood just a little of the magic that drew me into this forum and made me a permanent resident. It's time to play a game.

TL;DR: I'm doing written updates for my challenge runs again, bitches! THIS TIME WITH PICTURES!

The Challenge
The game is Pokemon Soul Silver. The Challenge is a Gauntlet Challenge. Yes, it's kind of a promotion for it, but who gives a fuck, you get a cool thread out of it and I want to actually see some people doing Gauntlets again. Stop whining. I hear you back there. Shush.

Anyway, for those who don't know, the Gauntlet Challenge is a challenge run of my own conception inspired by the Scramble challenge. To get a Gauntlet challenge, you go on this thread and ask for people to start giving you a number of challenges for your run. There are two types of challenges: Rule challenges, which are rules that apply to the whole playthrough, and Event Challenges, which are one-off challenges and events that you have to overcome as you play. Together, they make a Gauntlet: a hybrid of several challenges you've heard of, several you haven't and several that never existed until you asked for a challenge. Every Gauntlet is unique, and every Gauntlet truly is a challenge, because many of the rule combinations you get weren't put together in a challenge run before for a reason. My first Gauntlet way back in 2012 was the single hardest play-through of Pokemon I've ever completed. Of course, since it was the first Gauntlet challenge ever, a lot of that was me underestimating how much multiple challenges can add up. The one I've got this time is a lot less brutal than the one I took two and a half years ago, but it's still not going to be a walk in the park.

Anyway, enough blabbering. These are the challenges I was given:

Rule Challenges:
1.
If a Pokemon faints twice it can no longer be used in battle (from turskain)
2. If an active Pokemon has a stat dropped, I must immediately switch it out unless this is impossible. (from Deinosaur)
3. My team must have balanced genders, and only one gender may receive EXP from any given battle, effectively dividing the genders into "teams". Genderless Pokemon get assigned a "gender" via coin-flip at the time of encounter. (from Celever)
4. I can only use items (other than Pokeballs) in battle if my opponent has used an item first, and I can only use as many items as they have used before me. Hold items are not affected by this. (from Kadew)


Event Challenges:
1.
I must fight Falkner with only Pokemon that are weak to Flying. (from Celever)
2. I can't use super-effective moves against Whitney's Miltank and my Pokemons' max level must not exceed hers. (from lucariomaster2)
3. One of Morty's Pokemon must be KO'd by a Pokemon I caught during the Bug Catching Contest (from Deinosaur)
4. I am not allowed to use STAB moves in the gym battle against Clair (from turskain)
5. I must box my favorite team member before battling the E4, and take them on with only 5 members. Gotta show Karen she's wrong! (from Kadew)
6. I have to put at least half of Erika's team asleep (from UllarWarlord)
7. I have to "show mercy" to the Rocket Grunt that stole power plant parts in Cerulean. I can only attack his Pokemon with false swipe and confusion (the condition, not the move), and it must KO itself in an act of "surrendering" (from UllarWarlord)
8. I can't have any Pokemon over level 65 when entering my battle with Red (from lucariomaster2)

Bonus Event Challenges:
1.
I must use Leer at least once against each of my Rivals Pokemon during our battle in Azalea Town. (Turkain)


Be prepared to see some carnage, because those challenges are going to ensure I suffer some casualties. I might've gotten off easier than Deinosaur did (probably because I've been around the block a few more times than him :P), but this is not going to be easy. Clair and Whitney are going to be goddamn terrifying. Well, we'll deal with those hurdles when we come to them.

Bonus Participation! Make shit harder for me!

Yes I am giving you the means to make my life miserable. I'm probably going to regret this.

After every update I do, I'm going to give you guys 2 days to give me another Event Challenge that pertains to the area leading up to the next gym. The Event Challenges need to follow the rules laid out in this post. The challenge also can't conflict with any of the existing Rule Challenges in such a way as to be impossible or potentially require ignoring them. Because of Rule Challenge #2, most "solo x" challenges will not work. There's also a limit to how difficult a challenge I'm willing to accept. After all, I want to actually finish this run. If multiple challenges get suggested, I'll pick the one that I think will make the most entertaining update. If no extra challenges get suggested, I'll just make due with the ones I have already.

Update Index
Soul Silver Gauntlet:
Update 1: An early challenge.
Update 2: Surprise difficulty spike.
 
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Soul Silver Gauntlet Update 1:

Great news everyone! I'm playing this on an actual DS, so I won't be tortured by how horrible DeSmuMe runs on my computer! Bad news everyone! That means my screenshots are going to be taken with a camera and will probably look like shit! Enjoy! You also probably read all that in Professor Farnsworth's voice! I'm not sorry.


This quality or worse is what you have to look forward to. It took me 4 attempts to get it this good. You're welcome.


Fun fact, the save file I'm deleting is the one from my first Gauntlet run 2 years ago. It's been a while since I played Soul Silver.


No.

Oh, hey there Professor Oak.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm the one at fault for waking you up at *checks clock* 1:20AM.

"Are you a boy? Or are you a girl? Won't you please tell me?"

Do I need to pull down my pants?


Difficult? Oh yes. Fun? We'll see.

I probably need to slow down on the pictures. You guys all know what this game looks like right? I hope so, because otherwise this is going to seem like a contextless mess.

Anyway, time to start the actual game!
*2 seconds in*
I can't fucking wait to get running shoes.

*talks to mom*
You know, a lot of the things she tells you wouldn't make a lot of sense to tell me if I actually WAS the guy living there in the game. Like, I'd know Lyra is my friend without you telling me, and unless I had some serious brain damage I doubt I could forget that Prof. Elm's lab is literally next fucking door. Hell, it's the lab of a guy who amounts to a mad scientist, I probably hear screaming Sentret at night or some shit.

I also like how she "gives" you your menu options. No pictures, can't convey it properly without video and like fucking hell I'm putting that much effort into this. But yeah, they just like pop up with a little "ba-ring!" sound effect as she mentions them. Slick. Though it obliterates the 4th wall...

*gets assaulted by Maril the second I step outside, then it just fucking bolts to Lyra and she walks away like nothing happens*
Wait what? Not even a "I'm sorry" or something? Not a fucking word? Was Lyra raised in a barn or something? Then again, I AM Canadian. Maybe everyone in Johto is an asshole.


Insensitive prick.


... thanks?
.
.
.
That was random.


NOPE, NOTHING SUSPICIOUS GOING ON HERE, MOVE ALONG.

So, what groundbreaking research is Professor Elm undertaking? The fantastic concept of walking WITH your Pokemon instead of keeping them in their Pokeballs! Surely, this new avenue of research will revolutionize Pokemon training forev- oh wait they never used it again. Fucking hell.

Anyway, just before Elm is about to give me a Pokemon he gets an email from Mr. Pokemon. I like how in this game instead of the Egg being a revolutionary never-before-seen thing, it's an annoyance that Mr. Pokemon keeps getting shoved at him. Definitely a bit more believable than in the originals.


I don't think I've actually played through a whole Gen II or remake game with a Totodile before. I've picked it as a starter, but I think I always ditched it due to whatever challenge I was taking. Guess I might as well see what all the hype surrounding this little guy is about. Oh, and unlike SOOOOOOOOOOOOOME people, I'm not showing favoritism by naming my Pokemon after users. Instead I'm naming them terrible nicknames everyone is going to hate. Because if anyone's watched my streams before, they know I come up with the best nicknames.

Why Finkwagon? Wynaut?

And now that I've got my Pokemon, I can get on my way to Mr. Pokemon's house! Or I would be if the aide didn't stop me to give me Potions. And Lyra didn't stop me outside to tell me to show Finkwagon to my Mom. And if then I didn't have to go to my Mom to get my Pokegear. And if she din't insist on telling me how to make phone calls even though I told her I remembered how. And if and if and if and if and i-OH GOD GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

After an entirely too long time, I finally get to Cherrygrove city, with Finkwagon learning Water Gun along the way. As soon as I step into town though...

Oh yes, a complete newbie.

In any case, after he sprints around town for a bit showing me around, before FINALLY giving me Running Shoes. His. His Running Shoes. Gross. Also, how convenient we're the same size. And why wasn't I able to run before? Was I wearing flip-flops or something? Actually, that'd explain a lot...

Just as I'm about to leave town the old man dashes up to give me the map card for my Pokegear. Wait a second... DASHES up. Didn't he give me his running shoes? NOTHING MAKES SENSE!

An accidental button press brings up this...

WHY WOULD I THINK THAT AT THIS POINT? My character doesn't even know what headbutt IS let alone that it can be used to get Pokemon from trees!
.
.
.
I look way too much into this shit.

I pick up the Apricorn box from a lonely soul who only gets visitors when they mistake his house for Mr. Pokemon's, and make my way up to Mr. Pokemon's house. On the way Finkwagon learns Rage, which I'm sure will see tons of use. When I get there we have a surprise visitor! And by surprise I mean Professor Oak, which everyone who reads this probably knew was there. Anyway, he gives me my Pokedex and then heads to Goldenrod for his Enemy???????? #injokesftw

Of course, this is the beginning of a Pokemon game in Gen IV, so I can't walk 2 steps without getting interupted by someone and Elm calls me with an emergency he's too distraught to even describe. Surely it has nothing to do with any suspicious red heads. No way whatsoever.

Except that it does. Of course he ambushes me on my way out of Cherrygrove, and I promptly destroy his Chikorita with Finkwagon, who is 3 levels above it. Hint to future rivals: if you want to win your first battle DON'T give your rival an opportunity to train before you fight them! Also, note to future Pokemon thieves; it's best not to drop identifying material in front of guys who just saw you using stolen goods.

Police officer at the lab: "Rule number one! Whoever did it will come back to the site. Oh my... So you must be... the one who did it?"
What the flying FUCK passes for education at the local police academy around here!??!?!?!?

Well thankfully Lyra actually has a brain in her head and brings up our not-so-subtle ginger friend, and I get to identify him!

Except I never actually saw his name so I get to just make shit up.

Now that the top notch police investigation is over, I get to actually complete my errand and show Elm my shiny new Pokedex. Of course, since I have been gifted a Pokedex I must therefore I must defeat all the Gym Leaders and become the Pokemon League Champion, because this is a Pokemon game and that's how it works, not because it actually makes sense.

Before I leave I stop off and ask Mom to save money for me. Why? Because some of the items you get from saving up money with her are very helpful, and I'm going to need all the help I can get with this one.


Oh shit.
*She proceeds to bounce around with Maril in the grass*
Lyra: "...Just like that!"
... did she just show me how to catch Pokemon, or how to get into bestiality without getting caught?

Disturbingly vague animations aside, afterwards she actually shows me in an unskippable tutorial. When's the first time you can say no to this again? And why did it take so many generations to get it right?

In any case I get some Pokeball and can get started up on building my team. I got a few Pokemon in mind, but what I really need are some flying weak Pokemon to take on Falkner with for my event challenge. I also need to take Celever's Rule challenge (the one with the different gender "teams") when catching my Pokemon, so the order in which I pick them up needs to be done carefully since I can't have my team unbalanced at any point.

First off...

The first of the two Flying weak Pokemon I need for Falkner. I'll leave it up to you to decide why I named it that.

Next I make a detour to Route 46 in order to get a couple Pokemon.
Marble is right here, I don't know what you're saying. (more in-jokes I'm sorry)

The next member... is kind of filler. Wasn't even looking for this one but I need a 6th member sooooo.

Just really to balance out the roster, though Ratatta isn't a terrible Pokemon I guess.

Annoyingly, in the process of grinding Meryella, she got critted twice in a row by a Sentret and fainted. Down 1 life already and not even a Kakuna yet. Greeeeeeat. If I fail the battle against Falkner and end up having to catch and grind up ANOTHER Weedle I think I might just off myself instead.

After ENTIRELY too long I finally get the second thing I came to route 46 for.

I might've forgot to take the picture on the nickname screen. Maybe I'll do this from now on anyway, provides more information. Level 2 is going to make it a bit of a pain, but Fearow is a solid Pokemon throughout the game so it'll be useful to have around.

Now it's time to actually fight some trainers!

I am a fool.

I also accept Bug Catcher Wade's phone number, not because I like hearing about his Weedle, but because he gives berries occasionally, and since held items aren't restricted for me like normal items are, every berry I get helps.


Oh god it's happening already.

A few seconds later though I encounter the final member of my starting party!

You should really stop caring about my nicknames at this point, I'm literally doing it to piss people off.

Now's a good chance to explain my capture order and genders. Basically, I've set it up so that I have 2 grass weak Pokemon on the same team (female team) along with a Geodude, so that I can take on Falkner and so that the team isn't horribly weak to flying for all the other times I'll be using it. The other team is just Pokemon I want to use for the game at large. Eventually I'll need to change some stuff (it's got an ugly Electric weakness right now) but it'll do for now.

On my way through the Violet City gate Lyra catches up to me and gives me the Vs. Recorder, which is clearly the most important item I can have in a game that had it's wi-fi service discontinued ages ago.

I make a small detour to Route 36 so I can pick up HM06 Rock Smash, just in case I find a use for it. I also meet a guy who thinks that plants "would want to move around from time to time!". I'm assuming he's not talking about Grass types here. I therefore worry for his sanity.

Next up is Bellsprout Tower, mostly for experience. I need to have both Missy and Meryella to at least level 10 stand a ghost of a chance against Falkner, probably higher. Honestly I'm like to be doing a lot of grinding even after this.

Monk: "Only those who reach the top will receive a wonderful move."
I don't think I'd call Flash "wonderful". I don't even think I'd call it "adequate". "horribly extraneous and annoying" on the other hand...


Well that's step one. My picture taking skills keep getting so much better, you can just tell my amount of care is going through the roof!

Eventually I make my way to the top just in time to witness Gingie brag about what a great animal abuser he is. Unfortunately, he does not accidentally hang himself with his escape rope, so I guess we'll be seeing more of him later.

I beat the Elder myself simply by using the complimentary resistances of my female team, and am rewarded both with TM 70 Flash (lol "rewarded") and Meryella evolving again!

Though I managed to miss the evolution screen somehow...

I teach Meryella Rock Smash since I'll need a move more reliable than Fury Attack to beat Falkner's Pidgeotto. In any case, now it's time to grind for a bit!

I got Meryella to level 12 and Missy to Level 13. Missy got an extra level to learn Sleep Powder. I decide to take on the gym trainers with the male team and end up having a very close call with Finkwagon, who beats that damn lv 9 Spearow with only 2 HP remaining. If that Fury Attack had hit one more time... well then Finkwagon would be on 1 more life already, and I'd rather not be in a position to lose my starter a before the first gym.

At this point I call it a night. The next morning, I’m much less sure of my chances against Falkner with a level 13 Bellsprout and 12 Beedrill that I can’t use items on and will be forced to switch every time they take a sand-attack. So what do I do? Desperately search for any advantage I can find of course! To the Ruins of Alph!

On the way there I discover that I can actually access the Grass on route 32 BEFORE I beat Falkner. In my defense the last Johto game I played was Crystal, in which this isn’t the case. This gives me another option for Pokemon to use against Falkner Hoppip! That might seem useless but I actually have an idea... Another possibility is catching a Ledyba and getting it to level 14 for Light Screen and Reflect, but I’d have to mess with my DS clock or wait till tomorrow to get that so...


The reason for the name should become apparent shortly.

Anyway back to the Ruins of Alph...

This ancient civilization really, really liked Rhydon.

Unfortunately I can’t use Rock Smash until after I beat Falkner so I can’t get any shards from rocks to trade for berries like I planned (sorry “shard de berry” guy). But I can mess with this...

Sure wish I could escape from this Falkner fight...

Well instead I get to use the Escape Rope from Sprout Tower to get myself an Oran Berry, Pecha Berry, Heal Powder and Energy Powder. The Oran Berry in particular is going to be extremely useful against Falkner. While I was in the ruins Wade called me too. The berry I get from him? Persim. Oh well, that could be useful later on...

While grinding my new Hoppip up to a reasonable level, I get another Pokemon that I can use later on.

ER MER GERD ERTS ERRMPHY
I’ll be adding her to my female team after I’m done with Falkner.

I decide to keep String Shot over Focus Energy on Meryella when she levels up to 13, because lowering Pidgeotto’s Speed might become important, while relying on crits would be completely unreliable.

Eventually I get my Pokemon at the levels I want them, and it’s time to take on Falkner. I hope this fucking works.



Let’s do this.
Falkner: “People say you can clip flying-type Pokémon's wings with a jolt of electricity... I won't allow such insults to bird Pokémon!”
Falkner is apparently offended by the idea that Electric is super effective against Flying. When reality offends you, you’ve got a problem.

Anyway, I lead with Shake It! against his level 9 Pidgey. Now you’ll see why I named it that; Tail Whip is the reason I caught it. That and Synthesis should allow me to lower the defense of Falkner’s Pokemon before my others go in and finish them off. His Pidgey only knows Tackle and Sand-Attack meaning the biggest problem with it will be it forcing me to switch and getting free Tackles out of it. Those Tackles won’t do that much, but I need all the HP I can get for Pidgeotto.
*Pidgey uses Sand-Attack after having its Defense lowered*
Well that means I have to switch. That’s ok though, since it allows me to keep Shake It! at full health for Pidgeotto. I’ll switch in Missy to sleep it now.
*Missy takes a Tackle switching in*
Means I don’t have to switch out at least. Nighty night Pidgey!
*Sleep Powder hits*
Alright, now for some damage, Wrap and Vine Whip do a really similar amount of damage and the additional damage from Wrap could be useful so...
*Wrap hits but Pidgey wakes up and Tackles*
Damn one turn sleep. It’s health still isn’t low enough to die in one more attack so back to sleep...
*Sleep Powder misses and Missy eats another Tackle*
DAMNIT! My luck had better get better for Pidgeotto or I’m screwed! I still need more damage so GO TO SLEEP.
*Sleep Powder hits and Wrap does a little bit more damage*
Alright, Vine Whip should KO now.
*It does sure enough*
Finally. Now for Pidgeotto.


That cheating bastard and his underleveled Pidgeotto. I am really not sure I can do this. As you can see I kept Missy in, hoping to get off a Sleep Powder before she inevitably goes down. I could switch to Shake it! here, but I might need the extra Tail Whip opportunities sleep will get me.
*Gust KOs*
Maybe if that Sleep Powder hadn’t MISSED earlier... Well Shake It! doesn’t have much better Special Defense but hopefully I can get off at least one Tail Whip. I need everything I can get.
*Gust does over half damage*
Looks like I’ll have to make do with one Tail Whip. I need to sack Shake It! to get Meryella in safely. Who knows, maybe I’ll luck out and get off a second Tail Whip somehow.
*Nope, Gust KOs and Meryella comes in*
It’s all up to Meryella now. Rock Smash is much more reliable than Fury Attack and I need reliable right now.
*Rock Smash hits gets the defense drop but only does around 30% to Pidgeotto. Pidgeotto’s gust only does around the same to Meryella though*
Thank god for Beedrill’s base 80 special defense! Two more Rock Smashes should do it now and I outsped that turn. I think I might win this after all!
*Rock smash puts it in low yellow, and Gust activates Meryella’s Oran Berry*
Yes! As long as those past couple turns weren’t me winning speed ties and Falkner doesn’t use a Potion, I win!

No potion, no surprise speed tie loss! Victory is mine!

God, I was sure that I was screwed when Shake It! wasn’t even able to take two Gusts, but thankfully that one Tail Whip it got off was all I needed to win! He hands me TM 51 Roost (which will actually be incredibly useful given my restriction on using items in battle) and suggests my next stop to be Azalea Town.

Well this update has gone on long enough as it is, so we’ll leave the post gym story to next time. I do have a few questions for people before I go though. First off, how are the pictures? I know they’re not the best quality and they take a lot of extra effort to do, so unless they really add something I might skip them next time. Second, should I keep referring to my Pokemon by their nicknames, or should I refer to them by their species as to be more clear? Finally, please don’t kill my entire team with whatever event challenge you give me for the next leg of the Gauntlet (which is planned go until the rival battle after Bugsy)! Oh, and just a note, most future updates won't be this long, there's just a LOT to do early on in this!
 
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Great first update! Already got a badge under your belt, which is good. I do like the pictures, but I also felt that you were able to adequately cover in places where you missed shots. Maybe pictures in situations you found funny, or barely lived a crit or evolve or something. I also think nicknames>species , because it gives the run a little personality(for me, anyways. I don't have a challenge yet, I'll edit one in.if I come up with something...
keep up the good work!
 

turskain

activated its Quick Claw!
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
Since you asked for it:

Bonus Event Challenge: in the Azalea Town rival battle, his Gastly gives you a Mean Look and his Croconaw tries to show you a Scary Face. Return them the favor - you must use the move Leer on each of his Pokémon at least once during the battle.
 
Soul Silver Gauntlet Update 2:

Upcoming Event Challenges: “in the Azalea Town rival battle, his Gastly gives you a Mean Look and his Croconaw tries to show you a Scary Face. Return them the favor - you must use the move Leer on each of his Pokémon at least once during the battle.” (turskain)

Last time we left off, I had just defeated Falkner with Flying weak Pokemon by using the power of suicide Tail Whipping. Now it’s time to go shift up the team a bit so my Female team isn’t slaughtered by the next Flying type I meet.

Or it would be if I didn’t first need to pick up a damn egg from Elm’s assistant. I will promptly be depositing it, because I have no need for a Togepi. Before you start saying “Togekiss!” you need to remember this is Soul Silver; there isn’t a Shiny Stone until the post game. Togetic isn’t going to cut it, not in a generation where neither Eviolite nor Fairy type exist.

After picking up the Egg and a Super Potion my mom apparently got for me, I’m accosted by one of the Kimono girls. Who, by the way, is just out and about at 1 AM wearing a kimono. For some reason. The Pokemon world is weird.
“That Egg is truly an important Egg.”
lolno.
“Please do take good care of it for me”
If by “take good care” you mean “shove it in a PC box, never to see the light of day” then yes, I’ll take good care of it for you.

Anyway, here’s the team I’ll be leaving Violet City with.

Bet you were expecting to see Meryella there, what with how Falkner went so well and all that. And you’d be forgetting a simple fact: Beedrill sucks. There’s no point carrying it long term since it’ll end up outclassed very soon. Might as well get the stuff I’ll actually use some experience now. Fun fact: Geodude has the same base attack as it, and it actually gets useful STAB moves AND scales up as the game goes on instead of becoming irrelevant!

Before I head down to Route 32 I stop at the ruins of Alph to smash a few rocks for shards to turn in for berries. Berries are the only items I can be sure I’ll have access to in important fights, so I had better stock up on them. Can’t wait to get myself some damn berry pots...

I take some time to grind up my weaker members to usable levels when...

A wild meme appears! But yeah, fuck you Joey.

In any case I got everything to level 10. I considered catching a Male Gastly or Wooper to replace Ratfinkle, but then I realized that I’d be super weak to Grass types if I took Wooper and Gastly’s shitty level up move pool and poor match-ups against the next couple Gym leaders would make it dead weight for a while.

As I head down I’m gifted with a Miracle Seed, which Missy will enjoy very much. Marble finally gets STAB in the form of Rock Throw after leveling up against the first trainer, which is going to be veeeeeeerrrry important later on in this update.

*after battling my way through the route*
Totally unassuming guy: “How would you like to have this tasty, nutritious SlowpokeTail? For you right now, just 1,000,000! You’ll want this”
Gross. Both in concept and in pricing.
TUS: “Then scram! Shoo!”
What a fantastic business model. I’m sure you’re doing so well with your repulsive product, gross overcharging and friendly manner.

For some reason, there’s a Pokemon center in the middle of this route. Inside I get myself an Old Rod, so I guess if I ever want a Magikarp I’m set.

While fighting a Spearow owned by a Bird Keeper just past the Pokemon Center, I discover what just a wonderful challenge Deinosaur’s Rule challenge is. It used Growl or Leer on my Pokemon no less than 5 fucking times before I was finally able to get a second hit in against it. Not frustrating at all, nope nope nope!

Just past him however I’m able to smash a rock for a Shell bell, which should prove useful. Really, I’m on the lookout for any potentially useful hold items at this point. After picking it up, into Union Cave I go.

While battling a Vulupix owned by a Firebreather, it uses roar on KA-KAW and brings out ERMPHY, which not only makes me type in capital letters a lot, but also brings up a question as to how I’m going to deal with Roar causing a member of the other gender to come out. I’m going to lay down a ground rule now and say that this forces me to switch to the other team, and that I can’t switch back to the other team unless it gets roared back in. I can’t wait for this decision to bone me later on.

I make a detour to the lower floor to pick up the TM for Rock Tomb, which I might be able to make use of, though Rock Throw is fine on Marble for now. Shortly after Finkwagon learns Bite, which is now his most powerful attack.

It doesn’t take long to get out of the cave, since it’s not a very long one. Route 33 is pathetic so this is all the mention it’s going to get.


What did I just walk in to?


Because when someone tells you there’s nothing going on in a video game that’s ALWAYS the case, right?

Well ignoring the Rocket grunt for the moment, I head into town. Apparently, Slowpoke have disappeared from the town. According to one resident, this is clearly the work of the forest spirit. I guess the spirit operates through goons with big red R’s emblazoned on their shirts these days.


Yeah that’s great. Can I go into the gym now? No? Well I guess there’s only one place left to go then... Kurt’s! Because I know that’s how to progress the story, not because I care about his balls.
.
.
.
That came out wrong.

AHEM. Anyway, he fills me in on Team Rocket and then heads off to, I quote, “give them a lesson in pain!” Clearly an elderly man taking on a syndicate of criminals can only go well. Well, time to go save his wrinkly ass.


Turns out old men and deep, damp wells don’t mix very well. Shocking. Well, better clean up this mess myself eh?

Rocket Grunt: “Humph! I was standing guard up top when some old coot yelled at me. He startled me so much that I fell down here.”
Apparently dopey criminals don’t mix well with deep, damp wells either. And their Pokemon don’t deal well with getting poked in the face by a sharp beak repeatedly either. Or bitten with sharp teeth repeatedly.

And so we meet Proton.

Cruelest? You ARE cutting the tails off still-living Slowpoke, so yeah, I can see that. Scariest though?
... PFFFFFFTTTT BWHAAHHAHAHAHAHAA no.

Proton(after defeat): “I expect you to be very afraid of what’s to come!”
Lolno.
Oh did you expect me to chronicle that battle? Marble used Rock Throw until everything died. The end.

Anyway, Kurt takes me back to his house (funny how his back feels better the instant all the scary people are gone...) and tells me he’ll make Pokeballs for me any time. Now, with Team Rocket out of the picture I can finally challenge that gym!

But I won’t right away because I’m a little under-leveled. Well the gym would probably go fine, but I’m more worried about the rival battle afterwards. Grinding is grinding whenever you do it, so I’m going to do a bit before the gym just to be safe.

I get everyone to level 14 and get tired of grinding, so I decide to go to the Gym. I don’t expect any trouble there, and if I’m still lower leveled than I’d like for my rival afterwards I can grind a bit more later.


Yeah, I mean it’s not like Bug types are allergic to rocks or anything.

They really upped the ante with the spider shaped platforms in this gym. I mean, it’s an actual PUZZLE, unlike the original version of this gym.


Bug catcher: “Allow me to teach you the charms of Bug Pokemon!”
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how about no.

A short while later, all the gym trainers are done and my Pokemon are still looking a little less well leveled than I’d like, so I go grind again, getting everything to level 15. Of course that means...

Marble also got her second STAB move in the form of Magnitude, which won’t be much use against Bugsy but will be a lot of use elsewhere.

Speaking of Bugsy

Posing next to Marble’s future bitch.

The team for the battle.

Ok, normally this is where I’d go into a huge amount of detail, this being a big battle and all, but considering what I have to combat Bugsy with... a summary will probably do just fine.

OH SHIT. Thought he led with one of his cocoons, not with Scyther! uhhh SWITCH.

U-TURN DID THIS MUCH TO MARBLE. So much for just a summary... I’ll be lucky to get out of this battle without a faint. Well at least I can just summarize the fight against Metapod. The only notable thing is that Bugsy used a Super Potion on it, freeing me up to use an item myself later on. ERRMPHY just pretty much wrecked it.

OH SHIT IT’S BACK.
To survive without casualties, I bring Marble in and use a Potion on it. Now Marble sits at 22 HP, meaning I HOPEFULLY can take one more U-turn. I hope to god that’s all I need to take, because otherwise I’m in some seriously deep doo-doo. In any case, I switch Missy in to fight the Kakuna since she can’t get poisoned. Missy puts it to sleep and gradually wears it down with Wrap. Much to my sadness, Bugsy does not use another item on it. Marble had better not fucking miss Rock Throw.

Oh god please work.
*it uses Focus Energy and dies to a single Rock Throw*

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
... I totally did not expect that to be as nerve wracking as it was.

I should hope so considering the literally thousands of hours I have playing these games.

So he gives me the Hive Badge and TM 89 U-turn, and I’m off to fight my Rival. Or to, y’know, grind a bit more. Because holyfuckthatwastoofuckingclose.


Joey you already told me this. And I still think you’re full of shit.

Anyway, I get the male team to level 16. Ratfinkle learns Hyper Fang, which should come in handy, and I decide to teach KA-KAW Roost in place of Pursuit. I might well need the healing, especially against that Bayleef.

*Deep breath*
Ok, here goes.

Ok. How about “Fuck off”?

Of course that doesn’t work. So the battle starts, and Finkwagon is sent out to face his Gastly.
*Gastly Curses as I Leer*
Yuck. Well I saw this coming. That’s why I led with Finkwagon; he’s probably the member whose HP I can afford to sacrifice. In any case, this Gastly won’t live a Bite at -1.
*it Mean Looks, but of course Bite takes it out. Curse takes out a quarter of my health, and Bayleef comes out*
Alright, time for KA-KAW to shine. However this thing has Reflect, meaning it’s going to get a little nasty. Hence the need for Roost!
*I Peck to get one in before Reflect, which it of course immediately uses. Peck... doesn’t do a whole lot.*
Alright, time to start Leering. In fact, I think I might do more than the required 1...
*The fucker uses Synthesis*
.... I am going to need a lot of Leers.
*it uses Poisonpowder, which misses*
Crap, I forgot to equip any berries. That could be a big problem, I had planned to equip a Pecha on KA-KAW, but it’s too late for that now. Poison is going to make this hairy.
*Third Leer goes out, this time Poisonpowder hits*
Sigh... another
*Razor Leaf finally comes out, but it doesn’t do a lot*
Ok, good. It’s not doing even a third, so I should be OK even with poison. Still, better Roost now.
*of course, that removes my resistance to Razor Leaf, so it does a crap load*
FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. I am so fucked. SO SO FUCKED. Ok, KA-KAW is going to have to take a dive. PECK NOW!
*Peck brings it down to red health, and a miracle occurs! Razor Leaf Misses!*
OH THANK GOD. Ok, now I can finish it and I won’t have to KA-KAW lose a life since it has JUST enough health left to survive Poisoning. Please don’t let something go wrong now.
*Somehow Bayleef outspeeds and KOs with Razor Leaf???*
Wait I thought I was outspeeding it! Did Razor Leaf actually miss, or did I miss him using an X-Speed or something? I need to pay more attention! Well shit, Ratfinkle will have to clean up. Quick Attack! At least I know no potions are incoming, because he would’ve used one already.
*It goes down easily, and now Zubat is coming out*
Ratfinkle doesn’t have Leer so I have to send out Finkwagon here.
*Zubat uses bite but thankfully Finkwagon doesn’t flinch, so Leer hits just fine*
And now back into Ratfinkle because Finkwagon is in KO range from a Crit. Here’s hoping he doesn’t get confused switching in.
*I called the Supersonic, but it misses thankfully*
Dodged a bullet there. I don’t think I could live much hax. Hyper Fang is needed to secure the KO so I’ll risk the miss.
*Thankfully no miss occurs and Zubat bites the dust!*
VICTORY! It’s just a shame that I had to give up one of KA-KAW’s lives to do it. I haven’t lost anyone permanently yet, but I’m sure the day will come... and it’d be a damn shame to lose the Pokemon my only available instance of the move Roost is attached to. Damn, I took like no pictures of that battle. I was too focused to remember I guess.


Dude, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

But in any case, that’s the end of this little section of the adventure. I have to say, the Rule Challenges I received are proving a lot more difficult than I expected. But that’s usually the way Gauntlets go. I just hope the casualties don’t mount too much in the coming weeks. Speaking of casualties, I’m going to start keep track of Pokemon that have lost a life at the end of my updates, both for your convenience and mine.

On their last leg:
Meryella
Shake It!
Missy
KA-KAW

Cya next update, which will run from the end of this update to beating Whitney. Remember, you can give me another event challenge for this leg of the run! Just please don’t give me another for Whitney, it’ll be hard enough as it is...
 

deinosaur

now available in lowercase
is a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
Very well done- as always! Enjoyable to read and follow through the story. You keep the comedy going and keep a steady supply of images flying our way. I'd love to see this continue for a long while. :)

Being someone who posts these, I know how tough it is to keep pumping out posts of this caliber (I mean look I haven't updated in over a week), but I hope that even if it gets delayed, you won't stop.
 

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