Serious LGBTQ+

Lina

Cute Without Ya
is a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
I've posted here before as more of an ally but now I feel like it's time to come out fully. My sexuality has always been a bit of a confusing topic for me, it's been difficult figuring out what I like and who I want to eventually be with. When I was younger I guess it was easier, I had 1 crush throughout most of my childhood. Moving into my teenage years, I started noticing girls more and more starting at about age 16. After several crushes and much denial, I have come to the conclusion that I am bisexual. I find that lean more towards men than women. Guys are handsome but some girls are just so insanely pretty and cute.

I've only really come out to my family and friends online so far. My Mum and her partner know, my brother knows, my Grandma and cousin know and a few friends know. I worry about telling my Dad because he was raised Catholic and has said some pretty homophobic stuff in the past, so I'm not gonna be coming out to him anytime soon. So yeah I'm Bisexual. :)
 

gum

let's go down to the tennis court
is a Contributor to Smogon
Hey everyone, I thought about making a post here for some times now and I'm sorry in advance if this post isn't really cohesive.

I'm trans. MtF to be exact. I've always felt a certain discomfort about being a boy. I think that the fact that I grew up with 2 older sisters might of played something in this, but I'm unsure. I've always wanted to do the same stuff as them and people would just tell me that I can't because I'm a boy and I can't do that because it's girly. I also generally related to girls more and a lot of my friends were girls and I was pretty girly. As I grew up, I tried really hard to have more boy friends and less girl friends, but I still generally got along better with girls. I think that I mostly saw it as a bad thing due to environment in which I was raised. My parents are extremely religious and extremely against people who identify somewhere in the LGBTQ+ spectrum. It got incrusted in my mind that LGBTQ+ = bad, which is honestly pretty sad.

I'd say that this pretty much sums up the earlier years of my life. Last year, with puberty, (I'm really young I'm 14 lmao) I realized that actually, well, I like boys. It took me a lot of time to accept it and even more to publicly express it. Again, I think that the environment in which I was raised played a huge part in this. I hated myself for something I don't have the control over. In the same period, I had a pretty short "depression" (was like 3-4 months, really not that long) episode, and I think that my being "gay" played a huge part as to why I felt so shitty. Around last summer was when I started to finally accept it and I finally did my coming out to some of my irl friends, which all were extremely supportive.

It was around the same time that I realized that not only did I like boys, but that it just didn't feel right. I shaved my legs and my growing mustache and do my eyebrows, and I still do. I felt disgusting. It felt like I was living in a pile of trash - literally. At the time, I pretty much ignored these feelings, and I had the impression they were gone. Later, however, these feelings resurged back and the simple thought of taking a shower and seeing my body made me feel sick and uncomfortable. I started to really hate myself and my body. Every single manly features I had made me feel disgusted and I just wanted to tear my face off sometimes. There's a bunch of other stuff like not being able to sleep at night because I kept thinking about it. I think that gender dysphoria is pretty difficult to describe, but for me, this is how it felt like.

I've accepted this around 2 months ago and did my coming out to some of my online friends, and, a little bit later, to my irl friends. I'd say that accepting it made it really easier to deal with and it made me feel better about the whole thing. I'd say that doing my coming out has played a part in this, as I can just be myself irl without feeling bad. Sadly, as I said earlier, my parents and entire family generally hate LGBTQ+ folks, and I can't even imagine doing my coming out to them.

ok bye uwu

e: 4 months later and i've come to a different conclusion. im a gay cis male
 
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S. Court

[Takes hits in Spanish]
is a Contributor to Smogonis a Smogon Media Contributor
It has been almost a month since I told my mother I'm gay, and even when at the start there was a mix of indifference and certain resentment (probably because I haven't told her before) right now everything goes pretty normal with her, like if nothing would have happened a lot. It looks like she has accepted it.

I know that's not the case for everybody, some of us live in a social envrionment where having a different sexual orientation is still considered like a trouble (I live in Colombia, we're better than some countries in this aspect, but it's not exactly too friendly with LGTBQ+ people) but at least in my experience, it's a neccesary step. In my case it wasn't exactly about being honest with my mother, it was about being honest with myself, because when I decided to hide my sexual orientation with the self-excuse of "it's not necessary, for starters I don't have a couple" it was in reality because I wasn't accepting myself as a whole (and not in just this aspect, I have terrible self-esteem problems). Giving this step was important because now I have learned to love myself more.

So yeah, coming out hasn't solved all my problems but at least I feel like I deserve to explore this part of myself.
 
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Okay, I'm just going to say it right here right now.
So I am a Homosexual, biological female, wanting to be a male. I've considered myself a lesbian for around the past 6 years but I never came out online due to several factors.

Despite being female, I am often mistaken as male both online and offline. Young children think I'm male due to my short haircut and my clothing choices, online people just assume I'm male because I'm a furry gamer who obsesses over dinosaurs, and uses a male character to represent themselves online. Honestly I don't blame. Alot of the girls in my highschool were absolute assholes, talking about how I was strange and how I would never get a boyfriend. I have thought about going transgender FTM, as I would much rather be a male. but I've been worried and honestly a bit scared about what people would think, especially in the beginning of transition.

To the actual sexuality part, I Just never found guys that attractive. I found myself being attracted to other girls when I was around 13 I would guess? My first fictional and real crushes were all female. I'm going to admit, when I was 14 I had a huge crush on E4 Lorelei. I came out to my parents recently and I was amazed on how supportive they were. They were very supportive about my choices, and even introduced me to some of their gay/lesbian co-workers and friends. They have never complained about my sexuality choices and I really appreciate that. I have even been invited to march at the pride parade as the Falkneraptor (In a fursuit). In the blue section.

Although I'm still very nervous and somewhat doubtful about going trans, I am confident about my sexuality.
 
Does anyone else not really have social media and feel disconnected from/looked down on by other gay people for it? I don't have a Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram, and my Twitter and Reddit accounts are mostly just used to like other posts, and I only post myself like once every week, or couple weeks. Given that I don't have a heterosexual frame of reference (as I can only speak for being an MLM), I don't know how pervasive of an anxiety this in general. However, whenever I try to befriend another queer person or prospective boyfriend, them asking for my Instagram or Snapchat as though its a given ticks me off in a very unique way. I can get people's phone numbers without much difficulty, but it feels like the only way to stay connected with them is to interact with them on the platforms they're most active on, even if that platform is on their phone in the first place. For me it kind of feels like the other person doesn't care enough, even though I'm trying by texting them (and backing off if their replies are sparse or disinterested), and when our dating scene is difficult enough already, I find it kind of disheartening.

Who knows though. For all I know this could be a side effect of being young, gay, and anxious.
 

MikeDawg

Banned deucer.
Does anyone else not really have social media and feel disconnected from/looked down on by other gay people for it? I don't have a Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram, and my Twitter and Reddit accounts are mostly just used to like other posts, and I only post myself like once every week, or couple weeks. Given that I don't have a heterosexual frame of reference (as I can only speak for being an MLM), I don't know how pervasive of an anxiety this in general. However, whenever I try to befriend another queer person or prospective boyfriend, them asking for my Instagram or Snapchat as though its a given ticks me off in a very unique way. I can get people's phone numbers without much difficulty, but it feels like the only way to stay connected with them is to interact with them on the platforms they're most active on, even if that platform is on their phone in the first place. For me it kind of feels like the other person doesn't care enough, even though I'm trying by texting them (and backing off if their replies are sparse or disinterested), and when our dating scene is difficult enough already, I find it kind of disheartening.

Who knows though. For all I know this could be a side effect of being young, gay, and anxious.
How old are you/the people you're talking about? Just wondering, because I know what you mean, but I feel like that's moreso characteristic of an age group than a sexuality, especially wrt Instagram and Snapchat.

Aside from that, I wouldn't worry about it. People have asked me plenty of times what my Insta/Snap are, and the response is certainly not negative or condescending when I say I don't have them. If anything, being disconnected from social media is becoming the cool, hipster thing.

But also, if you are so anxious about it, why not just make an account? A huge number of young people use Snapchat as their primary messaging app. What's your aversion to joining in?
 

Tenshi

We don't have to be related to relate
is a Live Chat Contributor
I feel like that's certainly more of the age group. Honestly texting is a big form of communication these days and not having social media won't really detract from that. Even without Snapchat or Instagram there are plenty of alternatives that certainly help(especially when it comes to lgbt communities)

I'm unable to get a Snapchat or most mobile things like that cause I simply don't have a cellphone of my own(imagine being a teen without a cellphone lol) but I've found Discord extremely helpful to not only easily talk to a few friends but also get into larger lgbt communities where I pretty much have no irl access to because those communities are very limited where I live.

I think something that may be a big help is just joining some social media and trying to find communities you can be a part of, which helps making accounts less dead and if you're able to make an account then I think it can only benefit you in the long run :)
 
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Oglemi

best birb
is a member of the Site Staffis a Top Contributoris a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus
It's also very much a regional thing; (obviously depending on your situation this can't be helped) a lot of the time people's attitudes towards various social media platforms is simply because that's what other people in your area are doing. I've never been "looked down on" for not having something here in Wisconsin, for example, but again we're usually like 2-3 years behind the curve compared to like California or New York (we were almost exactly 3 years behind on getting Uber for reference, and I remember Facebook not even starting to catch on until my senior year of high school so 2010, which was about a year and half it started catching on elsewhere). Also depends on your dating pool; if people are just looking for hookups and vanity, not being satisfied with your choice of social media platform is more of a problem to those kinds of people compared to those that are simply also looking for a relationship.
 

Exeggutor

twist
is a Live Chat Contributor
I don't think I've made a post about it at length here, but I no longer identify as a trans man and have come to terms with being a more "butch" woman, in a sense. I'm keeping my new name and everything, though. I like it.

It's difficult to find resources for people like me, mostly because half the advice for this is framed in terms of denial of being same-sex attracted or a lesbian before coming out. I was calling myself a lesbian when I was 11 years old and have never denied being attracted to women, as I think most people that've known me as a young babbin on this website know, so that entire section of discourse is lost on me; and a lot of it is also framed in terms of discovering radical feminism, which is not new to me. There's also the fact that because it's so lesbian-focused you feel almost a pariah for being attracted to men, in some spaces.

I feel very alone in this, as I've felt with most things growing up as a girl - I made very few "best friend" sort of connections with other girls through puberty and beyond because our interests didn't tend to mesh. Even now I have very few female friends in general, and find it much more difficult to find girls that I have things in common with because I have stereotypically masculine "nerdy" interests that are good for making female friends online, but difficult in real life.

In terms of physical transition I'm still intending to do some things, like other butch women I've talked to, and with my medical team's guidance - things like a large chest reduction to near-flat, possibly testosterone therapy depending on how that goes. But I feel a little more at peace, now. It's been a wild 3 years.
 
Over 5 years on HRT yo MTF

The biggest problem I having is dating. The best way to date is obviously to go to other LGBT events and meet people, I know it works, but for other reasons that is not an option for me (bad blood with the people that organize basically all the LGBT clubs in my area). So outside of moving (which is a very real possibility for me) I was wondering what dating apps or maybe other hobbies or subcultures would be good for me to pivot to?

I've tried OK cupid in the past, but it was basically like pissing in the wind and wasting my time, Grindr on the other hand is very much not my cup of tea. I've gone to furry stuff, but its always far away and the only option there is basically long distance relationships, which is nice and all, but I need regular cuddling.

Currently I am just exercising now and hoping something comes my way at some point, but that's not a helpful path as most people have no interest in transgender dating, hence why I need to find these niches to go in.
 

Taptricity

Trick or Treat!
is a Pre-Contributor
Hello everyone. I’m kind of confused about who and where I am mostly when it comes to my sexuality so hear me out.

I think I’m bisexual. I haven’t really come out in real life because I’m still just confused with who I am. I’ve just been finding masculine features quite attractive as long as they are physically appealing. It’s one thing that motivates me to improve myself physically (by working out of course) so that I can flaunt it myself. But I’ve just found myself much more entranced by them, that it’s more than just motivation. While on the contrary, I do like girls as well. I’ve always felt attracted to the opposite sex since puberty. I do have a preference for girls but I don’t think I’d back down on a request of a guy asking me out though. I do think I’ll eventually come out to people (and one friend of mine will be making gay jokes till the day I die) considering my parents are supportive of what I do in the performing arts from vocal lessons, to dancing, to being a thespian in my school that regularly takes acting classes. I know I have a passion in life at an early age and I will chase it.

But on a different note, what has really been making me go crazy, is that I just sometimes seem to picture anyone in my school that’s attractive naked. I’m well aware that this is freaky, but I just want to know if this is normal for my age. I keep picturing this one guy whose built almost like me or this one freshmen girl I know who is insanely talented as a makeup artist and I don’t know if I’m just going crazy or if it’s just all a part of growing up.

Anyway, thanks for reading my nonsense if you made it to the end. I’ll just try to learn myself more and continue to improve myself every day.
 
But on a different note, what has really been making me go crazy, is that I just sometimes seem to picture anyone in my school that’s attractive naked. I’m well aware that this is freaky, but I just want to know if this is normal for my age. I keep picturing this one guy whose built almost like me or this one freshmen girl I know who is insanely talented as a makeup artist and I don’t know if I’m just going crazy or if it’s just all a part of growing up.
That's hot. And also normal. Yes. Very normal. Thats also why certain parts of thr internet exist.

To be honest, it really does sound to me like your bi.

Also protip guys are hot
 

Nalei

girl oo
is a Pre-Contributor
Hello everyone. I’m kind of confused about who and where I am mostly when it comes to my sexuality so hear me out.

I think I’m bisexual. I haven’t really come out in real life because I’m still just confused with who I am. I’ve just been finding masculine features quite attractive as long as they are physically appealing. It’s one thing that motivates me to improve myself physically (by working out of course) so that I can flaunt it myself. But I’ve just found myself much more entranced by them, that it’s more than just motivation. While on the contrary, I do like girls as well. I’ve always felt attracted to the opposite sex since puberty. I do have a preference for girls but I don’t think I’d back down on a request of a guy asking me out though. I do think I’ll eventually come out to people (and one friend of mine will be making gay jokes till the day I die) considering my parents are supportive of what I do in the performing arts from vocal lessons, to dancing, to being a thespian in my school that regularly takes acting classes. I know I have a passion in life at an early age and I will chase it.

But on a different note, what has really been making me go crazy, is that I just sometimes seem to picture anyone in my school that’s attractive naked. I’m well aware that this is freaky, but I just want to know if this is normal for my age. I keep picturing this one guy whose built almost like me or this one freshmen girl I know who is insanely talented as a makeup artist and I don’t know if I’m just going crazy or if it’s just all a part of growing up.

Anyway, thanks for reading my nonsense if you made it to the end. I’ll just try to learn myself more and continue to improve myself every day.
A bit of advice from a bi guy who regularly questions whether he's straight 10 minutes after checking out dudes:

Don't worry about it.

Maybe you're bi, maybe you're curious, maybe you're a straight guy appreciating aesthetics, or maybe you're something else. Attraction can ebb and flow and you'll drive yourself crazy doubting yourself. Do what feels good, be true to yourself, and you'll know sooner or later.
 

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