Serious LGBTQ+

ehT

:dog:
is a Contributor to Smogon
oh yeah about that im bi actually lol
So, the history behind this change is actually really complex. I've waffled over my exact orientation ever since I started transitioning. I identified as a lesbian all this time partly cause, well, I just like girls far more (have you seen them hhhh), but also cause of the awkward relationship between men and my dysphoria as a trans woman. It was just too difficult for me to see men's bodies in any context—romantic, casual, sexual—as anything but reflections of deep-seated insecurities about my own body and identity. Trans men made me feel even more insecure, which honestly I feel kinda guilty about now. I couldn't even look at a man without thinking something to the effect of "See that? That's you! Fucker!" And... it was awful. But now I don't. I'm a woman, dammit, and I have a woman's body to show for it. Anything I do with a man will therefore be heterosexual. This much has become intuitive to me as I've learned to live in my own skin, and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Keep on keeping on, lovelies.
 
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DianaNicole

formerly Archfeywild
(Americans)
I'm so glad I don't live in a red state. After the supreme court makes it legal to fire LGBTQ+ people again, it's going to be a rough couple of years for any poor fool living in, say, Alabama who's guilty of being gay at work.
Well this is now a nightmare for me, I was worried that would be the result. I do live in a red state and as I currently transition that just makes it that much more terrifying trying to find work. Luckily I’ve been able to find jobs that are okay with me being openly trans, but still is a concerning result
 

EV

Ayo, sis
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Admin Alumnusis a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
Well this is now a nightmare for me, I was worried that would be the result. I do live in a red state and as I currently transition that just makes it that much more terrifying trying to find work. Luckily I’ve been able to find jobs that are okay with me being openly trans, but still is a concerning result
To be clear, the case hasn't been decided YET. I'm just prognosticating. Maybe we'll get lucky, but with this current bench, it's really hard to believe it.
 

atomicllamas

but then what's left of me?
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
(Americans)
I'm so glad I don't live in a red state. After the supreme court makes it legal to fire LGBTQ+ people again, it's going to be a rough couple of years for any poor fool living in, say, Alabama who's guilty of being gay at work.
It’s already legal to fire people for being gay, at worst this would set a precedent that equal protection clause of the 14th amendment and the due process clause do not apply to sexual orientation and/or gender identity. If ruled that the firing is illegal due to the equal protection clause it would finally give federal protections to LGBT+ as a protected class on the same level as race and gender. In theory Lawrence v Texas, United States v Windsor, and Obergefell v Hodges all set a precedent that the equal protection clause does apply to sexual orientation. But all of those were set with a 5-4 or 6-3 majority, and the replacement of Kennedy with Kavanaugh does no favors. It basically depends on how Chief Justice Roberts rules, he may rule with the liberal wing of the court cause he doesn’t want the court to be perceived as overly partisan but idk if I’d bank on that.

I do think it’s kind of messed up that apparently people itt didn’t already realize that it was legal to fire people for their sexual orientation on the federal level already. That’s why so many blue states / cities have specifically spelled out anti-discrimination clauses. In fact there were no protections for federal workers for sexual orientation or gender identity prior to Obama. Which Trump overturned so...
 

EV

Ayo, sis
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Admin Alumnusis a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
Yeah I live in a thicc blue bubble here in Washington so forgive my ignorance. I didn't realize we still didn't have protection at the federal level, mb.
 
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atomicllamas

but then what's left of me?
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
Supreme Court cases like these are exactly why it’s important to vote blue for president even if it is some milquetoast centerist btw. If we keep letting republicans stack the court with federalist society POS judges, civil liberties for gsm, religious minorities, women, and poc will start to erode rather than continue to move towards being on par with straight, white, Christian men. And also they continually rule against labor unions and getting money out of politics :smogthink:.
 

DianaNicole

formerly Archfeywild
That’s fair that you were saying worst case, cause I agree that it’ll probably happen. Just kind of recognizes my fears at this point
 
It’s already legal to fire people for being gay, at worst this would set a precedent that equal protection clause of the 14th amendment and the due process clause do not apply to sexual orientation and/or gender identity. If ruled that the firing is illegal due to the equal protection clause it would finally give federal protections to LGBT+ as a protected class on the same level as race and gender. In theory Lawrence v Texas, United States v Windsor, and Obergefell v Hodges all set a precedent that the equal protection clause does apply to sexual orientation. But all of those were set with a 5-4 or 6-3 majority, and the replacement of Kennedy with Kavanaugh does no favors. It basically depends on how Chief Justice Roberts rules, he may rule with the liberal wing of the court cause he doesn’t want the court to be perceived as overly partisan but idk if I’d bank on that.

I do think it’s kind of messed up that apparently people itt didn’t already realize that it was legal to fire people for their sexual orientation on the federal level already. That’s why so many blue states / cities have specifically spelled out anti-discrimination clauses. In fact there were no protections for federal workers for sexual orientation or gender identity prior to Obama. Which Trump overturned so...
This is so horrible, why would you fire someone just cause s/he is gay?
WTF Im done.

Anyways hope those people who got fire get a better future.
 

DianaNicole

formerly Archfeywild
As someone who lives in Washington but a red city im a bit concerned about possible displacement in work because of that being a possibility but i hope itll be fine here
I totally understand, and hoping for the best for ya! According to how proceedings went the announcement shouldn't be made until summer in the middle of the election. So hopefully polls can keep trending towards the left and help out the cause of LGBT citizens
 

Robyn

If you can read this, you are valid.
is a Battle Simulator Moderator
right so, update post time now that I'm out across the whole community (namechanged on PS too, not able to do so here yet tho :blobsad: ).

yeah, I'm a (trans) girl. I don't really have much to add to this, I'm not exactly a very wordy person. But I do want to thank Asheviere, everyone in the PokePride discord, and all the other people who have supported me over the past couple days of slowly coming out online. This is very quickly becoming the happiest time of my life and as I said in my previous post here, I don't know where I would be without this community. Love you all so much.

Maybe I'll write up something bigger later on when I'm not still adjusting to everything. probably not tho
 

Ashley

Formerly tondas
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnus
too lazy to make a decent and lengthy post (also because I suck with words) but ive discovered that im also trans mtf. ive always preferred feminine features and just practicing more feminine things feels more natural to me and in general i feel more relaxed and happy with myself this way. ive also made good significant changes to my body with considerable weight loss, shaving, growing my hair out, etc. and it all feels great and like ive found a part of me that i actually care about. it doesn't mean much to me coming out but i wanna support the people who have done so much for me and have made me feel comfortable with myself for the first time in a while.

10/17 edit: transitioning is something I still want to consider but I will likely have a follow-up post to this once I go through therapy. As much as I want to make myself happy with a change such as this, it's still unclear to me if maybe this urge to change comes from a form of depression or anxiety. I genuinely don't mean to confuse or disappoint people but I'm not sure what else to do or where to go from here, and there's a small chance that maybe this isn't something I need? This is still a preferable identification but I am starting to doubt myself.
 
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Asheviere

on a scale of 1 to even i just can't
is a Battle Simulator Administratoris a Community Leaderis a Programmer
PS Leader
right so, update post time now that I'm out across the whole community (namechanged on PS too, not able to do so here yet tho :blobsad: ).

yeah, I'm a (trans) girl. I don't really have much to add to this, I'm not exactly a very wordy person. But I do want to thank Asheviere, everyone in the PokePride discord, and all the other people who have supported me over the past couple days of slowly coming out online. This is very quickly becoming the happiest time of my life and as I said in my previous post here, I don't know where I would be without this community. Love you all so much.

Maybe I'll write up something bigger later on when I'm not still adjusting to everything. probably not tho
It is honestly moving to see how liberated you are since the egg has cracked, and I am very glad I could have had an impact on that. I wish you the best of luck going forward and you (and any other trans girl in the community) can always come to me if you want to share or ask anything. Know that you're extremely brave for doing this and we all have massive respect for you.

Of course this doesn't just count for Robyn but all the other girls (and guys) who have made posts in this thread. Everyone deserves to be proud to have taken a step on this long and difficult journey. It is an admirable thing and I hope it is all worth it in the end.
 

inactive

From a Movie Scene~
is a Smogon Media Contributor
right so, update post time now that I'm out across the whole community (namechanged on PS too, not able to do so here yet tho :blobsad: ).

yeah, I'm a (trans) girl. I don't really have much to add to this, I'm not exactly a very wordy person. But I do want to thank Asheviere, everyone in the PokePride discord, and all the other people who have supported me over the past couple days of slowly coming out online. This is very quickly becoming the happiest time of my life and as I said in my previous post here, I don't know where I would be without this community. Love you all so much.

Maybe I'll write up something bigger later on when I'm not still adjusting to everything. probably not tho
Where the FUCK is my shoutout JEDBIRB

Seriously tho, i'm proud of you! Definitely admire the amount of courage you had to make this post
 

DianaNicole

formerly Archfeywild
right so, update post time now that I'm out across the whole community (namechanged on PS too, not able to do so here yet tho :blobsad: ).

yeah, I'm a (trans) girl. I don't really have much to add to this, I'm not exactly a very wordy person. But I do want to thank Asheviere, everyone in the PokePride discord, and all the other people who have supported me over the past couple days of slowly coming out online. This is very quickly becoming the happiest time of my life and as I said in my previous post here, I don't know where I would be without this community. Love you all so much.

Maybe I'll write up something bigger later on when I'm not still adjusting to everything. probably not tho
Definitely agree with the sentiments expressed before me, but so glad you be open and be yourself! Hope you’re able to keep it up and continue expressing yourself as you want to be!
 

Exeggutor

twist
is a Live Chat Contributor
hello, this is me updating my detransition journey as though anyone is interested:

I am now registered by my birth name again! In most places. I still have to change things like the NHS system and my driver's licence back, but I'm registered by my birth name at university. This has been the most difficult thing for me to navigate, not because of bureaucracy, but because of my own indecision on what I prefer. Do I want to be my birth name, or my new name? I've decided on keeping my new name as my "preferred name", and it's the name everybody knows me as now. The decision as to whether or not I adopt this new name fully and legally is a really in-depth, personal and complicated one that I'm not really sure how to touch right now.

I am yet to hear about any new appointments or whatnot from the gender clinic. I'd like to attend another appointment if only to express why I'm detransitioning and get my journey noted on the system, as I know most detransitioned people stop showing up without explanation.

I'm navigating sexuality as a woman again! That's terrifying yet freeing. Being a masculine girl has its own separate set of hurdles that I've not had to experience before, as I was trans when I turned 18. It's exciting all the same! Girls are pretty openly into me. Guys are weirder, but I can't imagine many straight men being into masculine girls. I'm also joining all the LGBT-related societies at uni and I'm looking forward to meeting more people like me! And my family and friends have been very open in their support and love during my detransition, which is much appreciated.

Generally, I am a lot happier now! I stressed so much over things related to my gender identity that I never got to simply stand there and be, which I think is the biggest difference. I do not worry much about how people perceive me anymore. There was constant anxiety over passing - do they see me as a man, do they see me as a woman - that has been pushed into the recesses of my mind. It's liberating. My dysphoria is not nearly as bad as it used to be. I'm exercising! I'm considering going swimming again! There are so many things that I found limited me from enjoying things to the fullest, and I'm trying to push against those limits with as much power as I can right now.

I hope that everyone is doing well! And to anyone who may be in a similar position that I am: stay strong, and I am always here to lend an ear!
 

Yami

Silent Scream
is a Tiering Contributoris a Contributor Alumnus
I guess I come out here. I knew I had an attraction for girls in middle school which was 7-8 years ago?, as I was in love with my female best friend at the time, but denied these feelings because of my parents strong spiritual beliefs. It wasn't till 12th grade, which was 3 years ago I started telling my close friends that I am Bisexual, and at the end of the year that I was also Genderfluid. My friends supported me which made me so happy as my parents will not accept this becuase of what the bible says even tho they do know I am Bisexual since I came home with my ex gfs alot, but I never told them about the second part.

I haven't really told my ps! friends that I prefer they/he because at the time I wasn't comfortable with telling everyone that I was Genderfluid and just went with my gender I was born with, which was female when I entered smogon, and my ps! Friends call me she still to this day, and it sorta bothers me when I am having a he day(been trying to work on correcting people lol).

Unlike 7-8 years ago, I am very open about my sexuality, and dunno why I was so scared to do it on Smogon/PS! guess I got afraid of bullying or something. This just part of who I am, and I am proud of it.
Update time. I am officially trans (FTM) after taking the time to figure out my true self with just sticking with genderfluid for about 4-5 years now. I always did think being a girl did not fit me correctly, but it took some time sorting out other matters in life to get me to this point today. I cannot really move on with my appearance (clothes, surgery etc) due to my parents beliefs and also how broken the relationship with my parents already is, I do not want to bring this up to them till I move out within the next two years. While it may be awhile before the physical part, I can officially be out online and finally feel in line with being the gender I feel myself as. I always thought when i was genderfluid that boy fit me better because I viewed myself as a guy who would be loyal to his girlfriend and already had a strong attraction to girls. I also hated being in girl clothes and looking at myself in the mirror since I basically viewed myself as a guy most days when I was genderfluid. I always made these stories / daydreams about being a guy and how cool it would be to born as a guy and take girls out, go out drinking with the guys, doing sports and other guy things. If anyone is wondering the name I picked out as my new first name is Zero. This is not because of the anime Code Geass either, as 5 years ago, I did not even know what it was. Zero just sounds cool and the name I always used in Pokemon and other jrpgs for a really long time now and has stuck with me. I hope that everyone will accept this change, and it does not cause me to lose any friendships I have found on this website. I like to thank everyone so far that I told that has accepted me when I just came out about this a few hours ago.

tldr;
I am trans (FTM), boy name(Within two years legal first name) Zero, please use he/him pronouns
 

Annika

Formerly LarTech
Update time. I am officially trans (FTM) after taking the time to figure out my true self with just sticking with genderfluid for about 4-5 years now. I always did think being a girl did not fit me correctly, but it took some time sorting out other matters in life to get me to this point today. I cannot really move on with my appearance (clothes, surgery etc) due to my parents beliefs and also how broken the relationship with my parents already is, I do not want to bring this up to them till I move out within the next two years. While it may be awhile before the physical part, I can officially be out online and finally feel in line with being the gender I feel myself as. I always thought when i was genderfluid that boy fit me better because I viewed myself as a guy who would be loyal to his girlfriend and already had a strong attraction to girls. I also hated being in girl clothes and looking at myself in the mirror since I basically viewed myself as a guy most days when I was genderfluid. I always made these stories / daydreams about being a guy and how cool it would be to born as a guy and take girls out, go out drinking with the guys, doing sports and other guy things. If anyone is wondering the name I picked out as my new first name is Zero. This is not because of the anime Code Geass either, as 5 years ago, I did not even know what it was. Zero just sounds cool and the name I always used in Pokemon and other jrpgs for a really long time now and has stuck with me. I hope that everyone will accept this change, and it does not cause me to lose any friendships I have found on this website. I like to thank everyone so far that I told that has accepted me when I just came out about this a few hours ago.

tldr;
I am trans (FTM), boy name(Within two years legal first name) Zero, please use he/him pronouns
Congratulations! Zero is a cool name.
 

DianaNicole

formerly Archfeywild
Update time. I am officially trans (FTM) after taking the time to figure out my true self with just sticking with genderfluid for about 4-5 years now. I always did think being a girl did not fit me correctly, but it took some time sorting out other matters in life to get me to this point today. I cannot really move on with my appearance (clothes, surgery etc) due to my parents beliefs and also how broken the relationship with my parents already is, I do not want to bring this up to them till I move out within the next two years. While it may be awhile before the physical part, I can officially be out online and finally feel in line with being the gender I feel myself as. I always thought when i was genderfluid that boy fit me better because I viewed myself as a guy who would be loyal to his girlfriend and already had a strong attraction to girls. I also hated being in girl clothes and looking at myself in the mirror since I basically viewed myself as a guy most days when I was genderfluid. I always made these stories / daydreams about being a guy and how cool it would be to born as a guy and take girls out, go out drinking with the guys, doing sports and other guy things. If anyone is wondering the name I picked out as my new first name is Zero. This is not because of the anime Code Geass either, as 5 years ago, I did not even know what it was. Zero just sounds cool and the name I always used in Pokemon and other jrpgs for a really long time now and has stuck with me. I hope that everyone will accept this change, and it does not cause me to lose any friendships I have found on this website. I like to thank everyone so far that I told that has accepted me when I just came out about this a few hours ago.

tldr;
I am trans (FTM), boy name(Within two years legal first name) Zero, please use he/him pronouns
So glad you were able to figure it out! It’s always good when you can figure out what’s the best way to represent yourself, and so it’s great to hear you did Zero!
 

kjdaas

this girl rly slapped some letters together huh
is a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributor
Moderator
Let me be the third girl to come out this week (after Robyn and Tondas) and break the rule that the name of any Dutch trans girl starts with the A. Also this is a great post to be my 1000th post on smogon. So, I have already told my story in the smaller communities like PokePride, RoA Staff and the LC community but I wanted to also write and vent about it in a post. So I have recently starting to experiment with being a girl and it feels amazing to be called a girl and to be able to express myself as a girl. Unlike some others, I'm still not fully sure that is the correct step but it sure does feel this way now.

In my childhood there were many arrows that pointed to me being a girl, but there was a big one pointing towards not being one: the absence of body dysphoria. I didn't mind being a man, could live my whole live as one but I just always wanted to express myself as a girl or be treated as a girl. Especially the former I just coupled to being a crossdresser my whole life and I just gave myself that label, because "why would someone who doesn't feel shit about being a boy become a girl." But that is, I think now at least, not the correct mindset to have in this case. Of course, it is much safer if I act, behave and express as a boy but I do have the feelings that I would be happier if I could be a girl instead. And referencing the famous button test, I would definitely push the button that would turn me into a girl.

So, fast forward to the Pokepride discord where a few weeks ago I decided to come out as a CD for the first time, after people were talking about men wearing dresses. Soon after that I joined a call with Asheviere where we talked about a lot of stuff, but also about being trans and although a lot of what she mentioned was not applicable to me, I did feel jealous that she could be accepted as a girl but I couldn't. I also bought 2 skirts and 2 thighs when I met up with Aurora, Djokra and Astrid and had an urge to wear them always at home, which made me really reconsider if CDing is just an act or maybe something bigger.

After this I started to follow the discussions in the discord more closely and saw that Tondas had similar feelings as me about being more feminine than we are currently are. Then one day this week ehT told us to really consider if we are not really girls and after that I started to really think about it. After a lot of reading, discussions, coming out, coming back in and coming back out I realized that I must be a girl if I want to be one. No boy would want to become a girl, even if they are crossdressers, or have very elaborate dreams about it since they were young.

There were also a few articles and lines that really stuck with me, like "If I did something really ‘girly’, it feels natural", "...the fact I'm questioning it means something, right? Maybe I'm just innately skeptical.." and "I don't live as a male because I think I am one, but it's just what I'm so accustomed to". All of these were things that I was thinking, but I just couldn't put one and one together before. I always thought trans people were people who felt they were born in the wrong body and couldn't live their lives as the assigned gender, but this isn't the case for all trans people. Some people could be happy as their assigned gender, but could be even happier if they are the other one and I'm really thinking I'm part of this group. And as I once read, "Trans folks may have a lot of dysphoria or none at all – but most will have gender euphoria", and I definitely a felt that from the first time eht called me she/her, to the first time hml called me Kim in pms and when Quote called me Kim in call yesterday.

After a lot of mental discussion over the week, I decided to come out once and for all to test the water and experiment with being a girl. I started by making a small name change to kjdaas in the pokepride server, but after a while I also wanted to see how it felt on PS! to have that name. After that I told 3 close online friends (shoutouts Sceptross, Excal and HML am) that I was really considering that and there support was heartwarming and them treating me like a girl felt amazing. After that a slightly drunk Quote kinda pushed me to come out in the LC discord, cos it is invested with LGBTQ+ people and would be a good next step. Later in the evening, I also came out to the RoA Staff, because they are my friends and deserve to learn it before the rest of the community. I thought I would be done after this for a while, because I'm afraid that this might be wrong decision in the end and don't want to have to have to make another announcement to the wider smogon community but for some strange reason I just have this feeling I should do it. I'm still not sure if I want a name change to kjdaas here as well, but it feels kinda the right to do so even if I'm just experimenting with it.

tl;dr I'm considering being a trans girl and I would prefer if people start using she, her or my new name: Kim.
 
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