Social LGBTQIA+

Camden

Hey, it's me!
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I'm non-binary. Born physically male and still recognise that, but I just don't find myself associating with or even agreeing to the concept of gender.

Later Edit: Using they/them pronouns rn but I won't freak out if you use he/him. I get it.
 
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Should probably update that after a bunch of back and forth, i am in fact bi. Came to this conclusion a while back. I have a bf now as well.

I'm a little conflicted. Not because I'm ashamed of being bi but because i worry about the reaction. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter what people think, nor am i responsible for people's perceptions about bisexuality/lesbianism, but it still worries me. I don't want people to look at this as a "oh see all they needed was the right man in their life" because that's literally not the case at all, and i would never allow anyone to view it like that. My sexuality was something i was struggling with for a while. Even when i identified as a lesbian i still wasn't 100% sure, but i did it because i felt i should allow myself to at least "try on" the label rather than try to reject it and never sort things out. When i decided to id as a lesbian it was because, to some extent, it felt right at the time, and I'm grateful that i allowed myself to do that. Even if i ultimately decided i wasn't that, i don't regret it, nor do i look at lesbianism as some sort of phase that women can grow out of once they meet the right guy, or that bisexuality is more fulfilling or anything dumb like that. Every chance that i allow myself to explore my identity is another step closer to figuring out who i am. It's not a waste

I think i really wanted to be a lesbian at the time, and it sorta warped my perception of my previous attractions. I really, really wanted to be with girls and i was kinda sick of men for the time being lol. I think i do still have a preference for non-men, but that doesn't really make me any less bi

So yeah! This wasn't supposed to be this long but of course i got carried away lmao. But yeah that's the update on my situation
 

Cresselia~~

Junichi Masuda likes this!!
If I remember correctly, a person's scale on the Kinsey scale can fluctuate throughout life?
Many years ago I would have said I was bisexual.
(I had been romantically attracted by one female and 2 males, but all these happened many years ago. )
I haven't been romantically attracted by anyone for years.
Haven't been sexually attracted by anyone for more than 10 years.
Haven't felt the need to watch porn or hentai for years neither.

Sounds like I might be a gray ace/ demisexual for now.
 
Ok a bit of an update for obvious clout oop-

So, my bi phase has recently ended and I can say with confidence that I'm definitely gay. It was strange feeling like my identity just shifted one more step down and I'll definitely tell this to my irl friends. Anyway, I just feel like I'm so much more attracted to masculine features and just the thought of being in a relationship with a guy makes me feel completely giddy inside despite me never being in one myself. I often tend to get lost in my own train of thought so I'm a bit of a deep thinker and I always just ponder my well being on occasion. I feel like I put up this identity of bisexual so that I wouldn't be as judged I guess since in most scenarios I could go around and be like, "Yeah I'd go out with that girl," and not being able to admit to myself that this is not the case. I don't feel any sort of sexual attraction towards girls. I do think girls are cute and are aesthetically pleasing at times but I just never found myself being fully committed towards them. I guess romantically it could work if I made an effort but in the long run, I'd much prefer being with a guy, and that's ok. I've made friends with a lot of girls (this is pretty much natural in the theatre industry due to the wide ratio between boys and girls in most cases), and I've always felt that I could relate more to their issues with boys which only feeds into my feelings. I definitely am going to spend more time building my confidence about my sexuality and it might be far easier than I predict since boys doing theatre is the oldest gay stereotype in the book. I'll be joining the Gay Straight Alliance in my school and I'll be more bold about myself. It may lead me down the road to finding others who can understand me in real life while making me happier about myself.

The Pokepride server on Discord has been an amazing outlet for my feelings and I'm happy that I could be in a group that can understand the current events I handle on a day to day basis. Thank you all since you're all great and supportive people!
 
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Eve

Bzzt!
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Community Leader
EDIT: I need to make another update... I am a girl lol

Making an update because I've figured myself out properly since my last posts. It's been like 7 months already which is scary, time goes way too fast!
not for clout because nobody knows who I am regardless

tldr; I'm not entirely a girl, I'm non-binary! Probably still leaning towards gorl on the spectrum though.
I've never really felt right being grouped by gender and telling myself that I don't have to feels really relieving honestly. No clue what blend of things I am or what you'd call my specific non-binary gender, and honestly I wouldn't want to try and figure it out. Trying to measure my identity seems like a waste of time when I could just call myself an enby and get on with life. I still enjoy being referred to as a girl though and I consider myself casually feminine, so I'll stick to that online! My goal is for my presentation to match that as well, so I still plan to go through a transition to some extent. I just really don't want to be seen as a guy at all because that's just not who I am, and if that means transitioning enough to look more like a cis girl than a guy then cool, I wouldn't mind that I guess that's what I'll do.
Also someone loosely involved in my family circle came out as NB recently to a surprisingly good reception from the people who have heard, so that gives me some hope! I'm getting a lot better at talking about myself already, so coming out on a big scale is a thing I might be ready to do.


Just like BAYB I want to shout out the Discord for listening to me when I was freaking out and being insanely supportive- I wouldn't have figured everything out without them, and knowing that other people have had similar experiences with gender is very reassuring that I'm not just insane or confused (unless we all are????).
have a good day! you're all valid :)
 
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Asheviere

Banned deucer.
Hi, let's do a proper post now that I have a way better idea of who I am and what I am. Still think my previous coming out post (and the other posts in the series) are masterpieces of modern comedy, but I reckon a more descriptive post might be worth it, both for the few people who care and for myself to look back at in 3 years and cringe.

Hi, I'm Astrid or Asheviere (formerly bumbadadabum), and I'm a transgender woman living in the Netherlands. While I'm out openly both irl and online, I have not started HRT yet (zzz bureaucracy), but hope to do so as soon as it's available.

My coming out story is, much like with a lot of other trans girls, not a single story, but rather a slow realization with tons of repression. From the start of puberty, I noticed there was something "wrong" with me. I always felt like I had to pretend to be something I wasn't. I felt like an alien pretending to be a human throughout most of my adolescent life. I just figured everyone must feel this way, though it really took me to some dark places during my life. I had a period where I thought none of my emotions were genuine, and I was just a psychopath. While this sounds (and definitely is) laughably edgy, they're some really toxic thoughts to legit have about yourself. I also never saw the link between these thoughts and my horrible body image, another problem that has plagued me throughout puberty. I really hated everything about looking like a man, and everything about growing up that made me more masculine felt like another stab in the stomach. I would cry in the shower seeing what my body has become. I wished I were a girl on a weekly basis at the least.

But I repressed it. And I hate teenage me for that! Dumb little shit decided to go to the wrong places on the internet and read harmful lies about trans people, making her think she was sick in the head. I really bought into the autogynephilia horseshit I read online, and it took me way too long to realize how fucking toxic it all is. After repressing it semi successfully, 2019 hit me like a ton of bricks. Since this was the year I graduated college, I started thinking a lot about the future, and how I see myself in the future. And it wasn't a good outlook. The thought of growing old as a man really really upset me on a level I couldn't comprehend. Soon, an idea started cropping up in my head, an idea that nested itself deep in my conscious and wouldn't leave for even a single second once it found its way inside. "What if I'm trans?". Of course, this is not something you accept easily, or even fathom could be true. You see other people struggle with this sort of shit, but never expect you to be one of them.

Initially, I dismissed the thought as insanity. However, it would not leave. It took me until about April this year, after looking over the past decade of my life, to entertain the idea. The first time I gave in to the "wrong" thoughts I had was one of the most liberating feelings I've ever felt. It didn't take long after for it to entirely click for me. There's a difference between knowing you're trans and accepting it, and it took me until early July to finally muster up the courage to tell my closest friends and family what I was feeling.

While the unknown is scary and I was horrified to accept that this was happening to me, I am incredibly glad I took this step. I feel so much better about myself, and feel much more comfortable in my own skin. While I'm still very much at the start of this journey, I'm very proud of the progress I've been able to make so far coming to accept and embrace being trans, and I would very much like to thank all my trans (and also cis) friends on PS and Smogon, you really mean the world to me. I would also like to thank all the good resources out there online to help people come to terms with their gender identity. Misinformation kept me in the closet for far too long, and I hope I can help make a difference where I can to help make the world (or at least PS) a nicer place for LGBTQ! (mostly the T though sorry I'm a bit biased here)

Thanks for reading through all of my giant essay, unless you're one of those lazy asses who reads only the first and last paragraph of a post, in which case hah you missed all of it!
 
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Dawn of Ares

Power of Athena!
is a Battle Simulator Staff Alumnus
Well, it might be time for me to finally make my first proper post on this thread. That small post I made a while ago doesn't count.

Hello, my name is Dawn, and I'm a transgender girl, though a decent amount of you probably had known me by my deadname, though that's in the past now. Well, hopefully, once I start transitioning and get a legal namechange.

I don't remember when I thought something was up, but I do know the time period when I pieced it together and realized I was trans: around 9th or 10th grade. I knew there was something wrong with my body -- well, except for a few things, which I won't go over here, just privacy -- and a lack of accordance between my mind and body, but wasn't too sure what these feelings were. It was a dislike of being masculine and wishing out of this body.

Event then, I wasn't sure what anyone would think; I had limited info about LGBTQ+ at that time, so I took it up to the internet, and knowing what some others had gone through, I was certainly apprehensive about coming out to anyone. I was too afraid of what anyone would think. I had to repress myself being trans for a few years.

That was until two things: I started using PS and got Library voice, and I started college. The former helped me realize that there were allies that would support everyone through their journey and helped me realize that PS, and later smogon, is surprising LGBTQ+ friendly. (I certainly wasn't expecting this from a Pokemon site of all places, no offense, but I'm not complaining) College had some LGBTQ+ events that I joined to help realize myself, and it certainly helped.

Even then, I only gained the confidence to come out to everyone on PS a lil over two months ago, and that was one of the most satisfying moments I have had, so that was great. The Library and Help auth helped me get enough confidence to come out to my parents a few weeks later.

Also, the Pokepride discord was one of the things that helped me out a lot about being trans, coming out, and several other things. Need to thank everyone in there for the help.

As for IRL, I'm out to my parents, and will hopefully be transitioning soon. They are confused but supportive of my decision. It won't be easy, I know that, but now I don't have to be the gender I don't belong in.

Well, I think everything is done now, later everyone. Just don't let anyone stop you from being yourself, always.
 
Hey all my names starblim and ashe said i should post here about my identity/orientation so i guess i will, im Pansexual and have been out since 13 years old first coming out as Bisexual because i wasn't aware of pansexuality until maybe i was 16/17 Which pansexuality basically means your attracted to people not a gender so otherwise for me gender isnt a concept i concern my self with when thinking romantically ive been with my Boyfriend now for around 10 months and its been great and sorry for my garbage writing
 
Definitely glad I just found this thread, figure a good way to share that I'm a trans girl, just starting my transition. Known for a bit, but didn't start the transition process until now. The big gay as well, so that makes it even more fun, but looking forward to getting to know the people here!

Also if you see me on PS! under diananicole feel free to reach out and chat!
 
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Adeleine

after committing a dangerous crime
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Hiya smogoon! I've thought about posting here before, but now that I've done my first "real" coming-out in the real world, I might as well visit here more decisively!

I'm MtF trans! I don't plan on transitioning/opening in the real world, but for my own reasons and not society reasons. In that vein, don't worry too hard about pronouns for me and whatnot, because I'm not going by female pronouns in the real world anyway. I'm also ace, so that's cool!

Not too much else I've got to actively say, but if you want to ask anything about me (for personal reasons or for curiosity), or ask things about yourself, or even ask about both of those things at once, or want to tell me to stop making "or" clauses in my sentences or to stop using so many exclamation points, go right ahead and hit me up on PS!!!!! That means you! Or even PM me here if you can't find me! I'm usually pretty chill, it probably won't be a lethal experience for you.


If I sound not-troubled and all, having known this for more than two years helps a fair bit in that regard, so if you're reading this and aren't at that point yourself, don't you worry! Even if it's been more than two years for you as well! Everyone's different, and it's the continuing journey that matters. :heart:
 
Also shoutout to everyone on this thread for making my weekend that much better after finding it. I've struggled with being open and out and what that looks like, especially coming from conservative roots. It was quite liberating to find several allies here, and even if it's just a few days it's helped my mood a lot, and just gotta say thanks really quick!
 

ehT

:dog:
is a Contributor Alumnus
oh yeah about that im bi actually lol
So, the history behind this change is actually really complex. I've waffled over my exact orientation ever since I started transitioning. I identified as a lesbian all this time partly cause, well, I just like girls far more (have you seen them hhhh), but also cause of the awkward relationship between men and my dysphoria as a trans woman. It was just too difficult for me to see men's bodies in any context—romantic, casual, sexual—as anything but reflections of deep-seated insecurities about my own body and identity. Trans men made me feel even more insecure, which honestly I feel kinda guilty about now. I couldn't even look at a man without thinking something to the effect of "See that? That's you! Fucker!" And... it was awful. But now I don't. I'm a woman, dammit, and I have a woman's body to show for it. Anything I do with a man will therefore be heterosexual. This much has become intuitive to me as I've learned to live in my own skin, and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Keep on keeping on, lovelies.
 
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(Americans)
I'm so glad I don't live in a red state. After the supreme court makes it legal to fire LGBTQ+ people again, it's going to be a rough couple of years for any poor fool living in, say, Alabama who's guilty of being gay at work.
Well this is now a nightmare for me, I was worried that would be the result. I do live in a red state and as I currently transition that just makes it that much more terrifying trying to find work. Luckily I’ve been able to find jobs that are okay with me being openly trans, but still is a concerning result
 

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