My argument is twofold: there is a (natural) misunderstanding of gender roles and social norms in this chat, partially due to the online nature of the chat; the crowd that would frequent this thread and forum tend to be much younger (and therefore not fully developed or going through puberty themselves). In this post I will break down both of these topics, bouncing off of several statements from the above. My purpose is not to inflame anyone, belittle anyone's journey, or to cast doubt, but instead to provide knowledge from a more academic background.
On gender roles and social norms; The concept of toxic masculinity in the past few posts seem to be very bare bones, designed as a catch-all for problematic behaviors. This amalgamation of the word and its uses devalue any salient reasoning one grasps from the posts, as they seem to write off masculinity for good. Toxic masculinity is a modern result of the 1980s term "hegemonic masculinity." Hegemonic masculinity represents the idea of the dominant place for men in society and justifications for the subordination of the common man and woman. In reality, masculinity, just like aspects of femininity, are not clearly defined, are malleable and unique, even in homogenous cultures. Countries such as Chile, or Japan, which have a tight collectivist culture still have wildly varying cultures of masculinity. Ironically, the biggest criticism of the modern attributions to masculinity are that it invokes a heteronormative concept of gender identity.
This paper goes into great detail on the history and uses of the term masculinity, specifically hegemonic masculinity and how it relates to toxic masculinity today. Connell and Messerschmidt argue that the only reason it is so prolific today in common discourse is due to the vague definiteness of the terms, allowing for crops of research to flourish. "The notion that the concept of masculinity essentializes or homogenizes is quite difficult to reconcile with the tremendous multiplicity of social constructions that ethnographers and historians have documented with the aid of this concept." I think, with this in mind, it is dangerous thinking to attribute this vague concept, disputed heavily by philosophers, historians, psychologists, that it has such a powerful impact on one's life, almost to the same extent as the weather. There is this tendency to dichotomize the experiences of men and women, to separate them as if they each live different worlds; this tendency waters down the approaches and criticisms of 'toxic masculinity,' as masculinity is neither exclusive to males nor is femininity free from reproach. I find it ironic the emphasis placed on these aspects cultivating one's experience, of one's wish to conform to those pre-determined concepts, with the movements tied behind the common search for one's identity. It seems far superior to shed off gender norms, roles, and expectations entirely, and to be comfortable with one's self, not for the validation of other's expectations but within one's self.
My second argument touches on the things starry blanket said, as well as the firebot post (now since deleted). I do think that there should be an area for those questioning to be able to feel supported, as I realize that not everyone has that luxury due to living circumstances. Nonetheless, one needs to take care of the situations one put's oneself in, as well as be able to introspect and analyze your situation neutrally. Executive functioning, the capacity to plan, coordinate, and execute schemas, is not fully developed in the individual until 25; more importantly, however, are that teenagers process information primarily through their amygdala, part of the emotional center of the brain (
source). What this means is that decisions made by adults are logistically thought through, whereas in teenagers they are emotively thought through; in addition, there is the self-evident nature of puberty, which leads to natural hormonal changes throughout the body as well as a plethora of confusing thoughts and ideas. Studies show that one of the most prevalent thoughts and fixations while going through puberty are a fascination with body image, and one's self esteem is primarily linked to body image at that age. These characteristics combined are a potent brew for the seemingly innocuous praise and online support of transitioning, making an already incredibly difficult period even more confusing due to the need for others validation. That there are non reversible factors involved with hrt are the majority of my concerns on this point lie; sterility in particular is a tough decision to make prior to being a "real adult."
This article goes into depth on the historical connotations of gender dysphoria, its etymology and implications for the future. Bray also presents an argument for reshaping what is considered "recreational body modification" and "necessary body modification," the validity of self-reporting coming from a separate author's description of "propriodescriptive authority." I highly recommend perusing through the article, or the book
Epistemology of the Closet.
I think both of those combined illustrate some of the concerns that starry blanket seemed to bring up. The internet is a dangerous place, full of misinformation (yes, even on the "academic" side, as in the case of social psychology). The proliferation of twitter and google and several other sites allow individuals to be exposed to a wide range of ideas, not all good or even accurate, and a limited understanding only maligns the individual. It is important to ask yourself how much one is attempting to validate's others perceptions of your own identity; to ask oneself what one's identity even means, and to weigh the consequences of such actions holistically. I think it is very important for those questioning to have a safe place to affirm one's self worth, but at the same time starry's point should not be buried; it is vitally important for one's mental health to get off the internet and to interact in the real world, to live one's life. It is equally important to discern Many's point; identity is what you make of it. If you question traditional gender roles that is great, however it would probably be far more productive to cast them off entirely, and just be yourself. I think if one has concerns of how others perceive you then you must look inward to discover why someone else's validation bothers you or helps you. From Halberstam's
Female Masculinity: "The idea that only transsexuals experience the pain of a ‘wrong body’ shows an incredible myopia about the trials and tribulations of many varieties of perverse embodiment.”
