Plague von Karma
Banned deucer.
This happens way too often. Like, way, way too often. At least I'm not the only trans person in the UK to not leave the house often, I guess?
-
Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
-
Congrats to the winners of the 2023 Smog Awards!
Social LGBTQIA+
- Thread starter dhelmise
- Start date
This happens way too often. Like, way, way too often. At least I'm not the only trans person in the UK to not leave the house often, I guess?
Katy
Banned deucer.
Ya it still happens way too often that people with other sexual preferences are getting homophobic slurs yelled at their faces or that even violence is a thing against them. I hope this will stop one day and we tolerate each other for who we are. I just hope this stops - not only in the UK - but EVERYWHERE in the world that violence is used against people with another sexual preference or for who they are.
This seriously needs to stop in such a modern and enlightened society.
We should stick together, especially in such tough times we go through right now, instead of tearing down each other.
We can all hope these bad things will end very soon!
Peary
Drip Haver
I came out to my step-mom in person today as bisexual and genderfluid. My dad respects my privacy so he didn't tell her yet. My step-mom is the last of my 4 parents to know, so I wanted to tell her at some point. Today was a good time to do so, as my dad and step-mom came to visit me today and I hadn't seen them for almost 3 months. Thankfully, It went about as well as me telling my dad. I was very nervous because I had never came out to a family member in person before, but it went really well!!! All four of my parents support me, so I'm very grateful. Also, we had a really nice day today. I see them again tomorrow!
So.... after dealing with my somewhat homophobic father I've gotten around to coming out to his side of the family.
Not only did my grandma and uncles take it really really well... but they even met my boyfriend and were really amazing about it. It's so good to feel like my dad doesn't dictate how my family feels and to be comfortable about being myself around them.
Not only did my grandma and uncles take it really really well... but they even met my boyfriend and were really amazing about it. It's so good to feel like my dad doesn't dictate how my family feels and to be comfortable about being myself around them.
Peary
Drip Haver
Very excited to start my new job, but also nervous. Excited to start getting paid again, but I honestly can't even buy things that I truly want... Being genderfluid, I hate only having masculine clothes. I want to eventually move out and have 2 wardrobes, 1 feminine and 1 masculine. That way, I can change my clothes depending on how I feel at the current time. My main dilemma is that I am in a sober living right now, a 3 bedroom condo with 6 other guys. A fair amount of them are fairly homophobic or possibly transphobic (I'm really not sure, I have not come out to any of them). I do really like it here, especially because my life is progressing pretty well, but the fact that I can't dress the way I want makes me feel trapped. I guess I just need to save up to get my own place, then I can finally be free again. Excited for the future so for now I'm just hanging in there.
Proud of all of you that have come out and such recently. I wish you all the best
Proud of all of you that have come out and such recently. I wish you all the best
You will allways be the goat my man. Tsuuu
it's been like a day since I came out on ps and changed my PS Name to reflect that,and I been wondering,how am I supposed to come out as transgender to not just my family,to the world? I was able to come out as bi but this feels like its 10x more hard because you have to come out to your parents as the gender not assigned to birth,which could lead to worse relationships(which I already have to a extent with my father and used to have with my mother over basic stuff)might just push them to the edge.I haven't even came out as bisexual to anyone irl so coming out as transgender irl just seems impossible at the moment. and do I even have to mention how much it would cost to transition? I was Planning to Transition Around 18-21,but I don't know if there is a chance my family would actually pay for it. Can Anyone give any advice?
Probably not the place for this, but I'm an ace. So hi all.
Unicorns
Banned deucer.
You're wrong. You're welcome here!
Well, hello there.
Ace-Gatr/Feraligacer says hi:
(image courtesy of Yung Dramps)
(image courtesy of Yung Dramps)
Crux
Banned deucer.
Asexuals and aromantics are not inherently LGBT. If you are LGBT and asexual or aromantic, then you are LGBT because you satisfy those criteria independent of your asexuality. If you assume the existence of the split attraction model that allows for such distinctions, then you also acknowledge that it is possible for cishets to be asexuals. It is not enough to say that you are asexual or aromantic as your primary method of identification in LGBT spaces. If you respond that “actually it’s all about queerness and differentiation from cishet norms” or something to that effect, that is insufficient. Being chaste is, in nearly all societies, the expected norm and it is only recently, as a result of the LGBT and feminist movements that that has started to shift.
Regardless, the split attraction model does not make sense and is homophobic and I have explained that here: https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq.3633101/page-13#post-8397925
Regardless, the split attraction model does not make sense and is homophobic and I have explained that here: https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq.3633101/page-13#post-8397925
Last edited:
Crux
Banned deucer.
This does not respond to any of the points I made about why asexuals and aromantics are not inherently LGBT.
Regardless, this response clearly makes no sense. The point is that chasteness (which is not merely historical but still reified (how do you have a concept of slut shaming being the major response to female sexuality or a concept of gay men being sluts in the absence of that being the norm)) in the absence of formalised relationships, i.e. asexual relationships (especially given the claim by most asexuals that they experience relationship discrimination both interpersonally and politically), is still treated as important. The fact that heterosexual relationships after ratification are then considered legitimate is distinct from the treatment of any other kind of relationship.
No, my argument has nothing to do with whether or how they are accepted. I simply stated they are not inherently LGBT.
Queer means nothing, it is not a coherent concept. It means different things to different people. To many it is a slur and should not be arbitrarily used as a group identifier that includes them. That is harmful.
But in terms of letting communities decide their own norms, there is legitimate disagreement about what counts as LGBT within the community. This is one of the more active debates. Why prioritise asexuals?
In terms of prioritising acceptance, there is no real reason to do so. Gatekeeping is necessary to create a coherent movement. For instance, some have claimed that people with kinks are inherently queer because they deviate from the dominant norms of sexuality. This would include cishet men who like to choke their girlfriends. Others have claimed that they are sapiosexual and thus queer. But this is ableist and racist. We should only include those who actually conform to and benefit the movement in their inclusion. I am not saying that these are equivalent to asexuals and aromantics, just that the logic behind deciding who is and who isn't inherently LGBT is the same. Asexuals and aromantics do not inherently make the cut.
(not relevant to Crux's post, and possibly bad timing, but still something I feel needs to be posted.)
Can this thread stop being used to post random one-liners? I'm personally very interested in reading other people's viewpoints for LGBT politics, and I also enjoy reading about people's coming out journeys in the thread, so it really irks me whenever someone posts like this is some discord chat. There's a difference between a one-liner that states "I'm coming out as [insert queer identity here]" and one that just reiterates something that had just been said. This might sound like a subtweet at recent posts in the thread (and it partially is, but this isn't targeted; I've been observing for a while and noticed this), but it just irks me. The posters of said posts aren't necessarily the ones entirely at fault either. I feel like a lot of these posts get left to sit out in the sun because none of the mods of this forum (bar vonFiedler) check the thread at all from what I've noticed (if this is untrue, sorry! Just feels like it since nobody ever does any moderation in this thread unless poked to do so.), and even then, vonFiedler is probably not to want to step in and delete a post with content largely revolves a topic he isn't (presumably) well-versed in.
Can this thread stop being used to post random one-liners? I'm personally very interested in reading other people's viewpoints for LGBT politics, and I also enjoy reading about people's coming out journeys in the thread, so it really irks me whenever someone posts like this is some discord chat. There's a difference between a one-liner that states "I'm coming out as [insert queer identity here]" and one that just reiterates something that had just been said. This might sound like a subtweet at recent posts in the thread (and it partially is, but this isn't targeted; I've been observing for a while and noticed this), but it just irks me. The posters of said posts aren't necessarily the ones entirely at fault either. I feel like a lot of these posts get left to sit out in the sun because none of the mods of this forum (bar vonFiedler) check the thread at all from what I've noticed (if this is untrue, sorry! Just feels like it since nobody ever does any moderation in this thread unless poked to do so.), and even then, vonFiedler is probably not to want to step in and delete a post with content largely revolves a topic he isn't (presumably) well-versed in.
Ok I'm not a cong mod but I also don't really care so I'll just clean up some stuff here. I'm not super knowledgeable or invested in LGBTQ+ matters, but from just a quick google I'm pretty sure that asexuals are a part of that little + there at the end, and since that's the name of the thread I'd say anyone coming out as asexual are well within their right to do so here. Whether or not asexuals "belong" in some sort of larger LGBT movement I honestly don't care about and it's not really an appropriate response to people asking if they belong in a community on these forums.
What is or is not 'inherently LGBT' doesn't matter, the only practical, relevant question is: "How do we, the handful of people frequenting this single thread on the smogon dot com forums, interact with asexuals" and the response pretty overwhelmingly seems to be 'accept and/or tolerate these people'. There's like two people agreeing with you in the first place, and you're the only one who doesn't agree to disagree.
You can stand on the sidelines and shout that we're doing LGTBQ activism wrong or fail to appreciate the subtle historical nuances of 'chasteness' or whatever, but the real simple fact is that a good 90% of this thread doesn't really seem to be on your side. If you can't make them change how they respond to people saying 'hi i am ace', then this entire conversation is kind of pointless, right?
(especially because 'who do we include in our communities' is a very subjective and emotion-driven question in the first place so unless you have some incredibly practical arguments it's hard to change people's minds on it)
You can stand on the sidelines and shout that we're doing LGTBQ activism wrong or fail to appreciate the subtle historical nuances of 'chasteness' or whatever, but the real simple fact is that a good 90% of this thread doesn't really seem to be on your side. If you can't make them change how they respond to people saying 'hi i am ace', then this entire conversation is kind of pointless, right?
(especially because 'who do we include in our communities' is a very subjective and emotion-driven question in the first place so unless you have some incredibly practical arguments it's hard to change people's minds on it)
Talking about my journey as a reidentified person at work has been well received by everyone I've told. Managed to find another new LGBT employee and we've been friendly since. Things have been going really well. Regardless of the pandemic pushing everything offline I've been trying to foster more connections with IRL LGBT people, and it's a breath of fresh air.
Had my second voice training appointment - down to D#3 now, we'll see if I can get it any lower.
May or may not have a girlfriend. She's a girl I met at uni. Neither of us have brought up the word gf directly yet, but there was a cheesy confession. She keysmashes when I say she's cute. She's got me head over heels and it feels amazing.
Had my second voice training appointment - down to D#3 now, we'll see if I can get it any lower.
May or may not have a girlfriend. She's a girl I met at uni. Neither of us have brought up the word gf directly yet, but there was a cheesy confession. She keysmashes when I say she's cute. She's got me head over heels and it feels amazing.
p0ip0le
it's a billion lions
you have any tips on the voice training thing? :eyes: (gz on the almost-gf too!)
--
being on the aro spectrum but also autistic and bi and trans and having trauma is a wild thing bc im constantly in doubt. i still end up thinking shit like "well clearly im just faking being aro and im just bi" even though the disconnect between my romantic attraction and everything else is so sharp
AND THEN SOME SHIT HAPPENS AND IM LIKE "well being autistic affects my perception of romantic attraction so CLEARLY im not aro and just bi" even though thats........ completely wrong.................
or "you're warped so much by being trans that you subconsciously reject romantic attraction and thats why youre aro" or "something something trauma has made you do the same thing"
tldr self doubt is a bitch and im aro even though the hell brain is a bitch. i've only experienced real romantic attraction like twice over the past 5 YEARS also the aro flag is sick as fuck
Last edited:
Crux
Banned deucer.
I said nothing about how we should treat asexuals. I just said they weren't inherently LGBT. They should obviously be tolerated and accepted.
No clue where you got the rest of this comment from what i said lol
Cool, glad we both agree on the matters of actual importance, and only disagree on how we define a couple of terms. That's nice to see! :)
Crux
Banned deucer.
it is profoundly unclear as to whether you read anything I said
