Social LGBTQIA+

Did you go to brunch recently? That's one of these activities that turns ya gay. Just a mimosa or two and a brezel or something and boom, you gay
no I stick in my home on showdown like a slug. I sometimes feel the gay when I’m out to eat but it’s never brunch. I don’t exactly have brunch basically. (I am a homosexual).
 

BT89

u bumpin that?
is a Contributor to Smogon
yo, im bt89, and i think i am bisexual. i've always been kinda confused with my sexuality. i was an ace for a while but then i finally dived into my personality, and yea - i am bi. i've always been followed by rumors abt my sexuality (ppl calling me gay because i was involved with the theater community, online harrassment, etc.) and they had been making me question for a while. and then idk, i guess i just... found out i was bi?

i guess that's all really. hoping i'm accepted into the community with open arms
 

Posho

local gaymer weeb
is a Tiering Contributoris the Smogon Tour Season 23 Championis a Past SCL Champion
yo, im bt89, and i think i am bisexual. i've always been kinda confused with my sexuality. i was an ace for a while but then i finally dived into my personality, and yea - i am bi. i've always been followed by rumors abt my sexuality (ppl calling me gay because i was involved with the theater community, online harrassment, etc.) and they had been making me question for a while. and then idk, i guess i just... found out i was bi?

i guess that's all really. hoping i'm accepted into the community with open arms
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Welcome to the land of the gays and the theys, double-team player. We hope your stay is pleasant :-)
 
Equally as important to arming yourself is joining LGBTQ+ friendly/organized community aid groups near you. Being armed might save you if, humanity forbid, you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to defend yourself, but being part of an armed and organized community aid group WILL make fascists think twice, and it WILL make the world a better and safer place for the LGBTQ+ community.

The Socialist Rifle Association, John Brown Gun Club/Redneck Revolt, Pink Pistols, Huey P. Newton Gun Club, Armed Equality, Operation Blazing Sword, and Latino Rifle Association are all LGBTQ+ friendly organizations that can provide valuable resources to members of the LGBTQ+ community who are newly armed, looking to arm themselves, or looking to get involved in community aid even without carrying a firearm.

If you don't wish to carry a firearm, at least carry a non-lethal means of self-defense. OC/pepper spray, cable whips, and, where legal, tasers and drive-capable stun guns are great, and you should carry one even if you also carry a firearm. Make sure to look into local laws when choosing a means of self-defense as some things may not be legal in certain areas or may require specific licensing. Avoid relying on knives, kubatons, spikes, etc., as a form of self-defense. These are not effective tools without considerable training in specialized martial arts and are likely to only escalate a confrontation. Try to attend a basic trauma care (FAST or Stop-The-Bleed) class and keep a tourniquet and chest seal handy, if not a full trauma care kit. If you frequent places like bars or clubs, ask the owners if they have an active shooter response plan ready and if staff have access to a first aid/trauma care kit.

I hate that this is the rules we've got to play by, but the game is getting played regardless of whether or not we like it. The good news is, the fascists aren't nearly as tough as they like to act in a group when they're the only ones with guns. All it takes is a few armed people in black clothes and pride flags and they scuttle away like the cockroaches they are. Stay strong, and be who you are.
 

cityscapes

Take care of yourself.
is a Tiering Contributoris a Community Contributor Alumnus
that isnt a sanctimonious post there are no morals involved its just sayin hey if you dont carry a gun youre defenseless against a loser with a gun and there are a lot of losers with guns so this is a generally unadvisable idea

it also isnt disrespectful of anyone who died any more than saying "trying to pet a tiger is a really bad idea" is disrespectful to people who previously died from trying to pet a tiger

anyway i was gonna put my own thoughts on this here but i realized that they probably are too extreme for this forum. censored by mods again alas
 

ScraftyIsTheBest

On to new Horizons!
is a Top Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
So um...hi.

I'm posting here mainly with regards to a few things about my own gender identity. I already currently identify as bi and on the ace spectrum, for the record, so there's that. I'm having trouble articulating what I want to say here, so bear with me here.

But I've been questioning my gender identity a lot over the past several months. At some points I wonder if I'm just lying to myself and that I'm not really genderqueer in any way but the thoughts have continually come up and never stopped, and every time I look stuff up on the Internet about possible "signs" that I might be trans or genderfluid or anything among those lines they just end up making me feel more and more conflicted.

For the record, I'm AMAB and I have conformed to identifying as a man for most of my life. I don't hate being male, and I don't feel that I've had any explicit showing of gender dysphoria, but at the same time in recent times I've also...really frequently thought of the idea that I might be at least some form of transfemme. Maybe genderfluid, maybe full on trans girl, maybe nonbinary with a femme lean...I don't know.

But it's really not easy to come to a conclusion. It's a constant loop of self-doubt and so forth. Every time I think I might be a girl I end up doubting myself in some way or another. Like is this just a weird fantasy that I want to be and I'm not actually trans? Am I "good enough" to really be a trans girl? Am I faking being trans? And so forth.

I've also thought of the idea that I might be genderfluid in some form, though that said...that's to a lesser extent than I have entertained the thought of outright being a girl. I have mostly thought that because I don't really hate being a man and have been okay with it...at least I believe I have.

And if I do come to the conclusion that I'm trans (girl)...it honestly scares me. I have a nagging fear that if I stay "closeted" and only present as a trans girl online here and around my online friend groups and not IRL that it would make me inherently less "trans" than other trans people. Like at some point in the scenario that I do come to the conclusion that I am in fact a girl, I might be able to muster the courage to go all the way with it and transition IRL, like growing out my hair (which would take months for me to get to a point where I'd have long hair), getting into feminine ways of presenting myself, and possibly HRT but for now there's no way I'd be able to do all that. Maybe in several years from now when my life circumstances change. I don't really know how to explore that IRL yet. I'm also not super enthusiastic about wearing feminine clothing or such...but maybe that's something other people can know about. But that doesn't change that I do feel like I'm at least in part a girl.

Anyway that's a bit of a rant...but yeah I'm going through a lot of questioning about my gender identity rn. As for updates, for now as of a few days ago, I've come out to some of my online friend circles as wanting to test the waters by also having she/her pronouns to address me by (still use he/him but I also want to be referred to by she/her and see how I vibe with it). Not fully going trans/genderfluid rn but have decided to test out feminine pronouns to see how much I vibe with she/her. So um...yeah there's that and a bit of a venting of thoughts that I've been having about my own gender questioning for the past year or so.

So um...yeah, that's just some stuff I felt I wanted to get off my chest, still on a journey with figuring out stuff but there's that.
 
https://www.thepinknews.com/2022/12/10/metzger-bar-and-butchery-refuses-service-to-christian-group/

This restaurant is based af for this and i really love to see this christian anti-lgbtq+ & abortion hate group crying and embarass themselves. They really just compared this refusal of service because of their own actions to the situation of Black people and racial minorities who were denied Services cause of their skin colour, what a bunch of bigoted clowns. These "christian" groups really do a great job at more people becoming hateful towards religion and radical atheists (and no, i don't like radical atheism either).
 
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For the record, I'm AMAB and I have conformed to identifying as a man for most of my life. I don't hate being male, and I don't feel that I've had any explicit showing of gender dysphoria, but at the same time in recent times I've also...really frequently thought of the idea that I might be at least some form of transfemme. Maybe genderfluid, maybe full on trans girl, maybe nonbinary with a femme lean...I don't know.

But it's really not easy to come to a conclusion. It's a constant loop of self-doubt and so forth. Every time I think I might be a girl I end up doubting myself in some way or another. Like is this just a weird fantasy that I want to be and I'm not actually trans? Am I "good enough" to really be a trans girl? Am I faking being trans? And so forth.

I've also thought of the idea that I might be genderfluid in some form, though that said...that's to a lesser extent than I have entertained the thought of outright being a girl. I have mostly thought that because I don't really hate being a man and have been okay with it...at least I believe I have.
I am a bit late but hi, wanted to reply to this one as a trans woman bc I remember having similar doubts and talking to a trans woman back then helped me a lot, so I hope it helps you too, at least a little:

There is no quota to meet to be trans. No minimum requirement of transition, of "feminine" things, of feelings. I am a trans woman that still uses he and they pronouns (and the equivalent in portuguese), who still participates in masculine roles (I am butch, and tend to play with masc indentities a lot), who still dresses with masculine clothes, etc. Despite it all, I truly am a trans woman. I love being trans, I love being a woman. Sure, most people don't get it, they think it's weird, but why care? Gender isn't a performance that people are there to judge you on, it's personal and yours. If you feel like a trans girl, well, why not experiment?

You don't have to go all in. Dip your toes in, do what you like, but felt inadequate about. You don't have to have a conclusion now, or ever. You can change your mind, you can create something new for yourself. The most important thing is to find a version of yourself you love, you're comfortable with, you can tolerate. Whatever your goal is.

Whatever you do, however you transition (if you do. You can be trans and not change anything about yourself), people will be there for you. If you need help, advice, or whatever, even if you decide you're not a trans girl, do lmk. I've been there, it can be scary but it's so worth it, no matter the result
 

Melanie goes boating

formerly Kale EO Trixiewagon
So um...hi.

I'm posting here mainly with regards to a few things about my own gender identity. I already currently identify as bi and on the ace spectrum, for the record, so there's that. I'm having trouble articulating what I want to say here, so bear with me here.

But I've been questioning my gender identity a lot over the past several months. At some points I wonder if I'm just lying to myself and that I'm not really genderqueer in any way but the thoughts have continually come up and never stopped, and every time I look stuff up on the Internet about possible "signs" that I might be trans or genderfluid or anything among those lines they just end up making me feel more and more conflicted.

For the record, I'm AMAB and I have conformed to identifying as a man for most of my life. I don't hate being male, and I don't feel that I've had any explicit showing of gender dysphoria, but at the same time in recent times I've also...really frequently thought of the idea that I might be at least some form of transfemme. Maybe genderfluid, maybe full on trans girl, maybe nonbinary with a femme lean...I don't know.

But it's really not easy to come to a conclusion. It's a constant loop of self-doubt and so forth. Every time I think I might be a girl I end up doubting myself in some way or another. Like is this just a weird fantasy that I want to be and I'm not actually trans? Am I "good enough" to really be a trans girl? Am I faking being trans? And so forth.

I've also thought of the idea that I might be genderfluid in some form, though that said...that's to a lesser extent than I have entertained the thought of outright being a girl. I have mostly thought that because I don't really hate being a man and have been okay with it...at least I believe I have.

And if I do come to the conclusion that I'm trans (girl)...it honestly scares me. I have a nagging fear that if I stay "closeted" and only present as a trans girl online here and around my online friend groups and not IRL that it would make me inherently less "trans" than other trans people. Like at some point in the scenario that I do come to the conclusion that I am in fact a girl, I might be able to muster the courage to go all the way with it and transition IRL, like growing out my hair (which would take months for me to get to a point where I'd have long hair), getting into feminine ways of presenting myself, and possibly HRT but for now there's no way I'd be able to do all that. Maybe in several years from now when my life circumstances change. I don't really know how to explore that IRL yet. I'm also not super enthusiastic about wearing feminine clothing or such...but maybe that's something other people can know about. But that doesn't change that I do feel like I'm at least in part a girl.

Anyway that's a bit of a rant...but yeah I'm going through a lot of questioning about my gender identity rn. As for updates, for now as of a few days ago, I've come out to some of my online friend circles as wanting to test the waters by also having she/her pronouns to address me by (still use he/him but I also want to be referred to by she/her and see how I vibe with it). Not fully going trans/genderfluid rn but have decided to test out feminine pronouns to see how much I vibe with she/her. So um...yeah there's that and a bit of a venting of thoughts that I've been having about my own gender questioning for the past year or so.

So um...yeah, that's just some stuff I felt I wanted to get off my chest, still on a journey with figuring out stuff but there's that.
Hello, i don't know if you feel better by now, but as a fellow trans folk i know what you are feeling. One very important thing i was taught before i decided to take HRT because i choose by my own will to have a more feminine body, is that tying your gender to the traditional "looks" of whatever society think a man/woman looks like is complete BS.

Do not feel pressured to look like what mostly everyone thinks a woman should look like, and do NOT ever feel GUILTY or LESSER because of what you feel more comfortable with yourself with. It's all made up mental barriers to keep our minds weaker and self-doubting, and to keep some people agonizongly closeted for their whole life sometimes.

What you feel deep down in your soul is who you are. Explore yourself and see how you truly feel outside of whatever everyone else says, see how you would truly feel being a woman without any interference from the outside. Try it however you please, like in these forums or wherever. If it makes you happy and you like it, to me and to any person with common sense and empathy, and most importantly to YOU, you are a perfectly valid not only trans woman, but a valid woman full stop.

Keep that head of yours up and be true to yourself. If you need something hmu. And have a nice day!

With much love, someone called Melanie.
 
I saw one polemic news and want to share.
A trans women in the Brasília university wasn't allowed to enter in the feminin bathroom for one cis women.
The cis women called the trans womens as dude, as if she isn't a women too.
I saw that news in a feminist page in Instagram, and all cis womens in the page are attacking the trans women as she was rly him.
To make the scenario worst, the trans women is white and the cis women is black. So the feminist are acusing the trans women as a racist dude.
and a important detail, the trans women had a beard, so the feminist are saying she is only a dude in a dress and rly can't use the feminim bathroom.
What do you think about this case?
Below a image of Conchita Wurst, a trans women with beard. Is she less women to you?
 
They rly have no business calling themselves 'feminists' then lol

Yeah they never should be calling themselves feminists, but here we are. Their network with far-right & christian fundamentalist groups/orgs and politicians in europe and north america to destroy civil rights of LGBTIQ+ (even tho they pretend to be for lesbians and bisexual women rights) are well documented at this point, and they score almost all points of Umberto Ecos definition of fascism. Many of these "activists" are as open as they can be about their goal to eradicate "the trans phenomenon" out of existence (a quote from cis lesbian Janice Raymonds book "The Transsexual Empire) and so many of them are huge racist bigots as well who believe in originally anti-jewish conspiracy theories (in fact they believe trans people are a ploy from rich jewish people). But the world is full of transphobe bigots, so they can champion themselves as "fighters for women's rights" while everything they actually stand for is so damn regressive.
 

Melanie goes boating

formerly Kale EO Trixiewagon
It's just... Sad. There's so much hate, mockery, belittlement and guilt tripping towards trans folks from such a large amount of people that... It's really hard to process that millions of people will think of you as subhuman because of how you are.

For the people here who are trying out and experimenting with their identity no matter where in the process they are, you are brave and beautiful souls for even starting to try, there's many who don't get the chance to do so. That fear, i have felt it many times, but i do not care anymore, i will be myself even if someday it could cost me everything.

I wish love and happiness upon all of you dear people. We are all together in this fight for happiness and inner peace.
 
new year new slay update part 3 (oop almost 2 years later tho)

i'm still in my same relationship from my most recent update and we're celebrating 3 years together now!!

we've struggled a lot with homophobic family and my thought process was always to shut out anyone that didn't support me or my relationship with my partner. His grandparents specifically have been rather problematic for me in the fact they pretend I don't exist most of the time and while he has been more than understanding it's still extremely rough to navigate. However, I feel like we've finally gotten into a good point with it? He's always defended me in situations where they cause issues. Sometimes things are really hard to navigate but I think with proper communication you can always make it through. Who knows, maybe the next update will come with a ring :tyke:
 
I'm terrible with words and I'm sorry if this seems like my life's story.

Hi my name is Shawn and I'm half Korean ( mom's side.) and Irish (dad's side.) my parents got divorced when my sister and I were young.
I felt like that was sort of my fault for having ADHD and it being super difficult for me in school having parent teacher conferences and constantly being told that I was "lazy or stupid" and receiving the "traditional method of discipline" and getting compared with others ( being cousins or her friend's kids.) which over the years has given me anxiety and secondary depression, and both me and my sister are nonbinary, my sister already opened up with the family as being a nonbinary lesbian.

In my case however it's very difficult to open up to everyone else in my family except my sister, I've already opened up to her as being an ace transgirl. When my sister opened up our dad, he seemed to be okay with it and was pretty supportive and when she opened up to the rest of the family our mom was fuming - like over the top pissed off.. our aunts and uncles along with cousins seemed to be okay with it and was glad that she opened up to them, as for me I haven't opened up to anyone other than my sister. When the topic of having a girlfriend getting married and getting children - it makes me super uncomfortable so I just reply saying "I'm not interested at the moment" then get compared to my cousins that already have children, it makes me feel like I'm an even bigger disappointment.

When I'm asked to go out with people or just leave the house in general, other than if my sister asks me to go out to eat or whatever.. I'm rather seclusive.

That's why I named myself Seclusive Shoujo.
 
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Sabelette

from the river to the sea
is a Site Content Manageris a Community Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnus
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/01/gop-lawmaker-wants-force-young-trans-adults-de-transition/

And yet some self-proclaimed "leftist" on American Politics topic slams at the idea to call these republicans fascists. This is the next stage on the crusade against transgender people, whoever thought this would stop with trans teens healthcare, bathrooms & sports was at best naive.
It's always the privileged people telling us to play nice and "just vote/debate/etc" while people are literally murdering us, the only solution to a violent society is to defend yourself and those around you (which doesn't have to mean you personally hold a gun, mutual aid groups supporting people willing to do community defense is essential, shelter for those of us forced out of our homes is essential, resources and mental health support is essential).

Republicans are fascists, Democrats flip flop between being intentional fascist enablers or just useless, most of the people who go "I'm an ally" will never actually put themselves on the line for us. We protect and support us or nobody does.

On that note regarding support, if any queer people need help navigating the mental health system in the (so-called) united states for therapy/hrt/letter for surgery/whatever else my DMs are open. I'm a therapist who mostly works with trans and nonbinary people and I write gender affirming letters for clients all the time - I'm happy to point people to resources I'm aware of and/or try to help with navigating the system (which is so often hostile and unnavigable for us). I can't promise to know something local to everyone but I do generally know how cishet therapists and doctors think and how to get around them to get what we actually need.
 

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