Serious Life (just need somewhere to vent right now)

[junior]

(before u read on, I hope you guys can share your thoughts and experiences about life too)

anyway, does anyone else feel like their life is at such a standstill? Like nothing is happening?

I basically I couldn't sleep tonight and I was just having heaps of thoughts and stuff and I'd just like to point out one thing

it's the end of April. That's a third of this year gone. In a flash. And I feel like I've done absolutely nothing. Nothing has changed at all from the end of last year until now. Absolutely nothing. I'm still super unhappy with everything.

I feel like I'm just floating in space while everyone else's life is racing ahead. I know life isn't a race but at the same time I can't help but feel like I'm not living. There's no personal satisfaction in my life right now. I don't feel like I've accomplished anything, or done anything. I'm not doing ANYTHING I love, nor do I have anybody to love.

Apparently, having dreams is supposed to make you fulfilled and feel like your life is worthwhile. I have big dreams of leaving Sydney behind one day, maybe with someone I love, and explore every bit of this beautiful continent and just escape. Even then, I'm not happy at all even with life goals I can work towards.

I really fucking hate Sydney btw, as beautiful as it is. So many horrible memories from high school and even post-high school life. I think the problem is that I don't feel in control at all. I feel like it's always my parents, or high school bullies, or others that control my life. I just want happy and to be free. I just want a simple life in a small home with just enough to get by. It just seems so unattainable and far away.

I know that it's the smaller things in life that matter. I know it first hand because I'm sentimental as hell, but our current society is exposed to so much out there because of the internet that you can't help but wonder what's out there. You can't help but dream big. Can dreams be too big? Are my dreams too big if it makes me feel absolutely stuck in life?

It's like I'm just existing, and not living. There's no direction in my life. And really, I tell all my friends I'm happy being single but I still wish I loved someone who loved me back.

I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy, but I promise I'm doing the best I can.

thanks to anyone who stuck with this post till the end

 

[junior]

god I swear I've made a thread on here about something similar before. my head's just a fucking mess and i can't help it rn

 

[TyranitarTerror]

I have found getting out to be the very best way to start moving. I was totally frozen in place just a few months ago but I took up volunteering with an organization that covers things I am passionate about. Now my life seems to be the speed of light in most regards, stuff happening here, stuff happening there.
From my experience having dreams is not what makes a person feel fufilled, but the process of achieving them. Just having a dream without progress can be even worse, like you are staring at a star, the place you want to be with no way of getting there. You need to act on those dreams! Strive to achieve them and in the process you will begin to feel better.
I have been told that the more you do this, the further out you will get, the more people you will meet. People who share your interests and aspirations , even your dreams. When you are surrounded by such people, things begin to happen.
It is through such exposure that things will improve. At the very least that is what I am finding through my experiences. I wish you luck in getting out of the slump you seem to be in the midst of.

 

[shinyskarmory]

I feel the same way. I've looked back at the past month of my life and all I can think of to say was "what was the fucking point?" Then I realizes that was true for the past few months as well. Day after day in school, where I spend 35 hours a week and only actually learn anything in my Calc class. Then homework, which is all just busywork assigned by teachers from the School of Rock teaching method (if you can't do, teach). And then playing LoL or something expecting to have fun even though I didn't yesterday or the day before that.

The worst part about all this is that the thing I enjoy most (writing/reading fanfics) is the one thing in my life that I can never share with any of my friends or my parents. So they all think I'm crazy, or worse one of those kids who was great in elementary and middle school and just flamed out in high school.

I feel like I'm doing it for nothing. Sometimes I'll show my non-fanfic stuff to people in my creative writing class, and they'll say "wow, great work dude" and all I can think about is how terrible it is and how ashamed I am for even putting something like that on paper. I'm ashamed to be even writing this post, but afaik smogon is the place where I am least likely to be stabbed in the back for posting something like this.

The only thing I have left is my writing and my Calc class (and im not nearly good enough at either to do them as a career) And this post was incoherent as fuck. So I'm out for now. Going to bed even though it's 3:40 PM on a Friday, we'll see if I feel better whenever it is that I wake up.

 

[Tory]

Anyway, does anyone think life can be a gold mind? Like success finally happens in your life?

I basically could make money while I sleep every night and I was just having thoughts and stuff and

it's the end of April. I can't wait for my website to get more bids to get sold and make more money with more websites. In a flash, I will sell 4 more websites I created on Flippa so I can make $800 next week.

I feel like I'm just laughing straight to the bank with 1,000+ subscribers. I know life isn't a race but at the same time I can't help living this gold mind. There are so many translations in my PayPal account right now. I feel like I've accomplished a lot from internet marketing and web development. I love that I have joint venture partners here in Atlanta.

Apparently, having dreams is supposed to make you fulfilled and feel like your life is worthwhile. I have big dreams of leaving Atlanta behind one day, maybe with someone I love, and explore every bit of this beautiful continent and just escape. Even then, I'm still find even with life goals I can work towards.

I really think Atlanta is okay. As beautiful as it is. So many fair memories from high school and even post-high school life. I think the problem is I need to move to New York or Los Angeles. I can't wait to spend $97,000 on the hot 2013 Viper SRT:

Then later this year, spend $49,000 on the 2014 Corvette Z51 Sting Ray:

Hey junior, don't give up on life. If there is something that can't be solve, stop it. I dropped out of high school, and discovered making money from Clickbank checks, CommisionJunction checks, Google Adsense transfers, and resell rights + PayPal transactions. Everyone had some hard times, if you can't compete with the high competition, start low. The hardest times I discovered in my life have to be most people don't understand my social disorders. But that didn't not bring me down. I have lots of friends and some enemies too. Am I rich? Well, not really, but when my 3rd projects release on my 22nd birthday, I really would be making some figures now.

 

[mattj]

You need to find a cheap hobby. I spent 219$ on a raft, and had maybe 100$ more in camping supplies built up over the years, and have been having the adventure of a lifetime throughout the spring, shooting down swollen rivers with my daughter on the weekends when the weather is decent. No matter what you're into, it doesn't have to cost a ton of time or money to do amazing things. And you'd be surprised at how much of a difference a hobby you love can make in your outlook on life.

 

[Jean mi]

This is actually normal to feel that way simply because the society sucks :

The "point" of our current society is to get an "education" from school, get a job to get money to survive and buy tons of useless crap and then die unhappy. This is just about working hard to get as much money as possible so you can buy lots of crap you don't need. The media and advertising manipulate your mind (no, this is sad but I'm not exaggerating) to make you buy this crap. Details are explained in this video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLBE5QAYXp8

Why is the society that way ? Because it's made by a small minority of rich people and it's only made to benefit them. This community is represented by bankers, traders, big company CEOs, politicians, leaders of the media, etc. Our political system that we falsely call "democracy" is made so only these super rich people have the power. The reason you have to work hard is just so these super rich people who rule the world can become even richer.

There are solutions though. The cause of these problems are greed from super rich people. A possible way to make things better is to stop the mass consumption. Here are some suggestions for that :

- Only buy stuff you *really* need

- Try to repair something broken instead of buying another one.

- Avoid using a car, the bike, buses, etc, there are tons of alternatives. It may not be possible in some cases though.

- Buy local and/or organic food : the food you buy from the supermarket have travelled from different countries, being sold by lots of different traders, doing nothing but increasing the price just for something that grows in your garden !
Organic food is not as expensive as people say, particularly if you buy it from your local economy and it's much better for your taste and health ;).

- Share stuff : lend your books, DVDs, etc : it's free and makes links between people ;).

Here's a concrete idea to improve the world :

- Basic income guarantee : Anyone without any condition would receive enough money to live : to get food and a roof so that working would no longer be compulsory to live. People would be free to work if they want more. This way, people would do what they really want to do.

I hope I'm clear and it helps you. Keep in mind that it's perfectly normal to think life is pointless because our society is *indeed* pointless.

 

[M. Rock]

I think the problem is that I don't feel in control at all. I feel like it's always my parents, or high school bullies, or others that control my life.

Well, first off, I honestly hope you're not suicidal. If you are, you should really talk to someone. Not even kidding.
Anyway, I highlighted that quote because that's what may be the root of the problem. This sounds like low self-esteem brought about by shitty life experiences. That feeling of helplessness you have, though, is only a mental barrier; it doesn't exist.
I kind of understand how you feel....I had a (much) milder version of these feelings earlier in the year. All the moodiness kind of melted away when I realized "hey, I'm not a poor kid in Africa with AIDs, dirty water, no mom and little to no food. On top of that, I woke up alive". With that in mind, any bad day I've had recently feels a lot less shitty. I'm no genius, but things may be better than you think they are.
So one solution would be having a more positive outlook and being content with the way things are now. If you really want to change things, though, the proactive solution would be to start building up your self-confidence. Start going to the gym, get into a regular exercise routine. No, seriously, working out is a great way to blow off stress and aggression, and it's proven to build confidence. Part of that is the better outer image and the gratification people feel when they move up to more sets/reps.
Another tip would be to master a hobby......but judging by your badges, I see you already have that taken care of. If you don't enjoy Pokemon anymore, then try a new metagame, idk.
The last one I deem pretty important: go out and talk to women more. Just do it. What does it accomplish? Well, if you see someone on the street that you are attracted to and you go up and talk to her, than you automatically have more balls than anyone else there who either couldn't do it or was paralyzed by "ohhh what should I say?". It doesn't even matter if you get rejected, you're still taking the jump outside your comfort zone. It's more of a confidence-building exercise than anything else. Just maintain eye contact when talking and speak in a clear assertive voice. Women pick up on this stuff, and can tell how confident in himself a guy is or isn't, so you could actually use her reaction to gauge your progress. Hell, you might even get a number. If that all sounded silly, it's just because you haven't tried it.

tl;dr --> So, that's me speaking from life experience. Just try to improve your life socially and find things to do that you enjoy.

EDIT: also, don't listen to Jean Mi's politics. You're just going to get bitter and hate the world more. You can wait until you're an old man to feel that way.

 

[Nix_Hex]

I've found out that no matter how happy I am, how much I love my girlfriend, and how involved I am with church, how much I love my pastor, how much I'm enjoying my class on non-linear dynamics and chaos, no matter how many badges I have on Smogon, there is always something to worry about. I have a thesis due in 6 weeks that I am seriously lagging behind on (I have 7/50 pages done, not much success on my hardware). I don't have the "dream job" in electrical engineering that I am indeed qualified for yet can't muster the energy to write 10,000 versions of my resume and send it out to every company in southern california. I have epilepsy and since I am 26 I have reached the limit of being on my mom's insurance plan to pay for my meds. I am about 48 grand in debt from student loans, which I practically live off of. I cannot drive myself anywhere and while I love my girlfriend and her parents and my parents and my church friends, I want to go back to the time where I could drive myself and THEM around instead of relying on them to be my chauffeurs.

My real dream job is to teach algebra, calculus, and physics at my old high school. A work environment of similar-minded Christians, a place where I can lord my knowledge upon others, a place where I can ENCOURAGE young people to see the beauty in mathematics so they can go to college and major in the sciences or engineering and send the first human to mars or invent the flying car or real-life Transformers. However that's a "low income" job; how am I going to pay off all my debt, and what will my students think of the guy who couldn't do so he taught. Honestly the only people I would be truly disappointing are my parents, but that's a tough barrier and like junior I do let them influence a lot of my decisions. I want to marry my girlfriend of nine years, but to do that I have to have a steady income.

Thanks for making this thread junior, I've pretty much let out all of the concerns in my life and I wouldn't choose any other community to tell (mainly because this forum is unviewable to people who would criticize me xD).

 

[Deck Knight]

No direction is better than a bad direction.

In the last few months:

Lost my job.
Crashed my car and completely wrecked it.
Found out the job I got was under vastly different conditions than I thought it was, so it'd impact my taxes.
Got my old job back.
Started looking for and in the process of getting a new, different job.

Stability is vastly underrated. I'm probably ahead of the game now since I don't have a car payment anymore, but don't get yourself down. I'm also willing to guarantee you that your friends: They feel exactly the same as you do. If their life went through a free fall reverse like mine did, they think you're the one zooming ahead.

One thing about control. I have a very high locus of control - i.e. I believe I am responsible for everything that happens in my life, within reason.

I have learned that I am never really in control. Unless you are born rich and have the luxury of living off your parents' success, you will never feel like you are "in control" except for those very few things you take the initiative to do yourself.

Oh, and Jean mi's advice is terrible -

In a lot of ways - but specific to helping you: This life is not pointless. I believe in God. I believe in free will. I believe every single solitary thing I do in life has a point to it, because I am freely choosing to do that thing. And I know that the things I do have an impact on my eternal, immortal soul. Maybe you believe something different - that's fine too - but it is a way of living boldly, truthfully, with dignity and purpose. Life has the purpose YOU engrave on it through your actions.

Everything in life is a choice. You can either make your life worth something or you can whine about some malevolent other - for example a small minority of rich people who you don't know, don't understand, and don't want to understand because it'd harsh your worldview to find out they don't actually exist as imagined and the world isn't conspiring against you (subtext: you suck all by yourself without their shadowy intervention) - keeping you down. I choose not to believe any such nonsense. Freely so.

 

[jrrrrrrr]

Make a to do list if you feel like nothing is happening in your life. Then in a couple months you can look back at your checked off stuff and realize you actually did a lot. Or you can keep a diary for the same effect.

And remember ilu <3

also lol i just read jean mi's post. If Deck Knight isn't going to handle this one I'll tag team in.

Why is the society that way ? Because it's made by a small minority of rich people and it's only made to benefit them. This community is represented by bankers, traders, big company CEOs, politicians, leaders of the media, etc. Our political system that we falsely call "democracy" is made so only these super rich people have the power. The reason you have to work hard is just so these super rich people who rule the world can become even richer.

lol sounds like someone just saw George Carlin for the first time, congrats on your copypasting ability

There are solutions though. The cause of these problems are greed from super rich people. A possible way to make things better is to stop the mass consumption. Here are some suggestions for that

Your post in one sentence: "The key to happiness is giving everything away, which is why the next thing I'm going to say is that everyone should accept free stuff from everyone else"

Here's a concrete idea to improve the world :
- Basic income guarantee : Anyone without any condition would receive enough money to live : to get food and a roof so that working would no longer be compulsory to live. People would be free to work if they want more. This way, people would do what they really want to do.

And where is all of that money going to come from? Are they airmailing it in from FantasyLand? You're free to volunteer your paychecks right now if you want!

 

[Solace]

I definitely get where you're coming from junior, and lately I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm a junior in high school and it's coming toward the end of the year, so soon enough I'll be writing essays for college applications and sending them off to the schools I'm interested in. However, while all my friends seem to have a pretty good idea of what they want to do (or at least what they'll major in), I really have no clue at all. Everyone keeps telling me that it's not a bad thing or that I have plenty of time to decide, but at the same time it seems like colleges aren't looking for the undecided individual and want driven, passionate kids (which makes sense of course, they don't want to use a spot at their school for someone with no direction). I just really can't decide on one thing I'm interested in spending 4 years of school studying to have a career in for potentially the rest of my life, while my friends seem content in settling on things like international business, or biology, or whatever it is. It's hard to feel like you're not really "missing" something when everyone else seems to have their life planned out already.

This thread needs some positive vibes though so here is a cute corgi:

 

[junior]

shinyskarmory never feel ashamed about anything you do that doesn't affect others negatively! you'll never find happiness if you worry about what other people think of you or what you do. do what makes you happy :)




to me, though, it isn't really about money or anything. I'll be content living life with enough to get by. (I do understand your point though, that not earning enough makes you feel behind in life)

i don't know what is missing from my life. I wake up and I feel sad and empty. m. rock you are right tho, that I did wake up and that's something I should be celebrating. It makes feel a little better putting it that way, and honestly I try to make the most of every day. Sometimes you do get bad days though and just gotta vent.

deck knight, i do believe EVERYTHING in life is a choice (within reason). it's hard to explain but i think long term stuff just depends on fate, but short term things like your own immediate happiness is depended on the choices you make i guess.

like, does anyone believe in fate? Like, I'm by no means religious or anything but does anyone believe that everything happens for a reason?

not really sure if I'm just telling myself that as a way of telling myself that it gets better. but I was looking back on my life, and i can't say i'd be the peron i am today if it weren't for my childhood. and i wouldn't have it any other way

mattj i think a cheap hobby would do me some good though, true :) i should really invest my time in playing tennis again ahh should do it asap

 

[Stone Cold]

Someone told me that it's /your/ choice to be happy and to make the best of what you're given and that's what I try and do. Even if it's hard for me at times, it's still your decision to be happy and it's your thought process that effects you. If I am feeling sad or down, or just displeased I do something that I enjoy doing. Playing RPG video games, watching movies, calling up some friends, theres so many ways to make your life better and it's always going to be your choice.

If anything, you released all of your frustrations but I feel as if the reason your life feels at a stand still is because you're letting it be a stand still. Noone said you have to stay in Sydney, noone said your life has to be at a stand still. Make the best of it bud. If you're not happy, find a way, look for a way, to be as happy as you can be.

 

[junior]

noone says I have to stay in Sydney for sure, but there are obstacles that prevent me from leaving here. I'm ready to be independent, but not financially. And I still have an education that keeps me bounded here for a little while. I suppose that's why I feel like my life is at such a standstill and makes me feel like nothing is happening.

I always wish our world was like the past but with the rights we have today.

and of course I'm doing my best to be as happy as I can be. I cope pretty well by myself and I force a smile out of myself whenever I'm sad, but there are moments where everything just comes crashing down (last night for e.g.) and just felt extremely vulnerable and had to get it off my chest

tbh i'm just used to this feeling by now

 

[Thorns]

shit nigga if u ever wanna talk i go to uni in the city we find some coffee place and bro it out? ?

 

[junior]

sure i'm always free :)

 

[Chou Toshio]

I think I might try to take time to make a longer response later, but seeing as I have to go-- I just want to leave you with this potentially enlightening song from a musical where the main character, like you, was feeling down, wondering about himself and his life purpouse, and needed some perspective--

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IknswT779p8

 

[Jorgen]

From what it sounds, you have a goal of moving away from Sydney, and you seem frustrated because you feel like you're no closer to that goal. If that's what you really want to work toward, set up smaller sub-goals toward that end. That way, the next time you evaluate where you are, you can say you've accomplished W, X, and are currently working on Y toward Z instead of just seeing that Z is still far off and feeling all hopeless because of that.

 

[Deck Knight]

I don't believe in fate, I believe in the might of THORGI.

In all seriousness though, I believe if your will is strong enough and you back up your thoughts with actions, you can do things you wouldn't have thought possible.

Remember all that stuff I said I was going through? While all that was going on I managed to get a bus of volunteer costumed characters down to Newtown, CT to bring some joy to the kids there as the co-producer of an event my lodge brother was putting together. I put in a lot more money than I had initially expected to, but people but so much work into it and I knew I could dig deep and take care of it. It was a great time and hopefully the kids will remember it for a while, or at least the parents. I'm hoping St. Peter has it in his notebook, too - cause I have a lot of flaws that such an entry might weigh well against.

Also jrrrrrrr I did hit Jean mi a little bit in my last graph, but this thread is about helping junior primarily. The only part that really needed addressing was the "this life is pointless" bit. I didn't feel the need to rebut the addition of "because shadowy men game the system to ensure you are screwed because hatred and enmity is how they reproduce and thrive. Also send me a check for existing."

The To Do List jrrrrrrr brought up is also a good idea. You'd be surprised at how much you get accomplished when you aren't even thinking about it.

 

[franky]

However, while all my friends seem to have a pretty good idea of what they want to do (or at least what they'll major in), I really have no clue at all. Everyone keeps telling me that it's not a bad thing or that I have plenty of time to decide, but at the same time it seems like colleges aren't looking for the undecided individual and want driven, passionate kids (which makes sense of course, they don't want to use a spot at their school for someone with no direction). I just really can't decide on one thing I'm interested in spending 4 years of school studying to have a career in for potentially the rest of my life, while my friends seem content in settling on things like international business, or biology, or whatever it is. It's hard to feel like you're not really "missing" something when everyone else seems to have their life planned out already.

for the most part, your friends seem like they have a good idea of what they want to do but I can almost guarantee that they are as indecisive as you are. that's because no one has their life planned out, especially at such a young age not knowing what to expect in the degree they are diving in. if you're lucky enough to dive into your program straight out of high school and feel genuinely satisfied with the career, then I respect you for that!

but at the same time it seems like colleges aren't looking for the undecided individual and want driven, passionate kids

while its true that colleges want driven and passionate kids, its also hard to find that combination straight out of high school. driven, maybe, in terms of work ethics, but passion is just a rare trait to find. that's why I feel like college is a great place for undecided individuals to find their true passion because of the multiple courses you can dive into. if you find a course that peek your interests, then i suggest going for it!

curiosity is your best friend in college. the more you stride towards your interest and things that make you happy, the more your career and life will likely fall into place. if you ever feel undecided about your career path, then curiosity and effort to pursue that curiosity will go a long way. i feel like this paragraph can apply to junior and solace. (in terms of school and life in general).

 

[Lee]

it sounds as though you've gotten yourself stuck in a rut and the best way to solve that is to do something spontaneous. even if it's just booking a holiday it'll give you something concrete to look foreward to and that can make all the difference in terms of mood.

 

[Joim]

First of all, don't worry about not having control. No one ever has control. Everyone feels the same sooner or later, even these bussinessmen whose plans control the world each day. I think that you just live once, so you better have fun in it and drive away the miserable thoughts. As for the void of merely existing, I always set myself a list of short time goals and long time goals. That way you can see you achieve small things daily, weekly, or monthly; then you can see yourself achieving big ones over the years and that's pretty fulfilling. Also don't rush yourself in needing and seeking a partner. That's normal, but you should enjoy your individuality in the meanwhile. Doing nothing and waiting for someone to go to you is silly, but despairing over it is silly too.

 

[Pikamemnon]

I think you nailed it Junior, some people strongly believe that "Everything happens for a reason". I myself have made some rather massive IRL mistakes in my time but as long as its something that is survivable, they can be used to gain learning experience. (I am a much better person than I used to be. heh heh heh)

It may not always be fun or easy but if there is something that you really want to make happen keep working at it! Even if it takes 100 smaller steps to reach the goal.

 

[junior]

yeah I agree, it all comes down to your mind. my head has collected so many self motivational quotes over the years, as well as quotes from books. this is one of my favourite quotes of all time that i had tot ake a photo of it haha

books are such an amazing escape and not to mention you can gain so much wisdom from them! but that's another topic in itself

but yeah the mind is a powerful tool for sure. even if i don't achieve any short term goals to my dream, i should realise that every day is a learning experience. it might not be obvious but you just have to dig deep and find out what wisdom you attained every day.

lee, i have at least 2 winter holidays being planned, and 4 summer holidays being planned atm, hopefully they all fall through :) i guess they are something to look forward to. i should be more thankful with what i have ahhh

ps this is one of the most inspirational videos i've watched in a while. and it gives me even more hope that everything happens for a reason. http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html

stay beautiful everyone :) x