SM OU Local Man Attempts to Make a Good Team - Fails

[helvetiicaa]

So I'm new to Showdown and actually caring about team composition and whatnot. I started off in Pokemon like most other people when they first played; spamming starter. But now I'm trying to get into it again and into more of a competitive-ish scene with it. So, here's my team.

If you guys'll be so kind,
Tear it apart and help me improve it!

 

[DrPumpkinz]

You have Dragon Dance on Gyarados twice, I would definitely replace one of them with Waterfall. I'd also replace Ice Beam with either Ice Fang or Earthquake. Finally, I'd replace Fire Blast on Garchomp with either Earthquake or Fire Fang.

 

[helvetiicaa]

You have Dragon Dance on Gyarados twice, I would definitely replace one of them with Waterfall. I'd also replace Ice Beam with either Ice Fang or Earthquake. Finally, I'd replace Fire Blast on Garchomp with either Earthquake or Fire Fang.

Yeah, dunno what happened with the double Dragon Dance thingy. Do you think there should be any other swaps or anything? Or like replacing one of my Pokemon with another?

 

[NotInMyChristianServer]

inb4 mods block this thread because of lack of descriptions, I'm going to say two things: Magnezone has a neutral nature, and the team lacks synergy between it's members. You're using two 4X Ice weak mons in the same team, and Chansey should be avoided completly at building a decent offensive-oriented team, since it's drain too much momentum that is not worth using in the team in the long run.
EDIT: Also your Chomp doesn't even has Ground STAB.
EDIT 2: Dragonium Z Chomp is a dead set, use Rockium Z w/ Stone Edge instead, since is able to beat things like Celesteela and Tapu Bulu.
EDIT 3: Why in the world are you using two Z-move users in the same team?

 

[helvetiicaa]

inb4 mods block this thread because of lack of descriptions, I'm going to say two things: Magnezone has a neutral nature, and the team lacks synergy between it's members. You're using two 4X Ice weak mons in the same team, and Chansey should be avoided completly at building a decent offensive-oriented team, since it's drain too much momentum that is not worth using in the team in the long run.
EDIT: Also your Chomp doesn't even has Ground STAB.
EDIT 2: Dragonium Z Chomp is a dead set, use Rockium Z w/ Stone Edge instead, since is able to beat things like Celesteela and Tapu Bulu.

Alrighty, I'll try that out. Thanks for the criticisms. Do you have any suggestions on what Pokemon I may want to replace and with what?

 

[NotInMyChristianServer]

Alrighty, I'll try that out. Thanks for the criticisms. Do you have any suggestions on what Pokemon I may want to replace and with what?

Ash Ninja has good synergy alongside Chomp (The Shark beats Grass Types and Pex, while the Frog beats almost everything thats between 110 and 130 base speed, and has spikes). Ferrothorn is also a good partner, since it also has Spikes, and tanks Ice- and Fairy attacks aimed at Chomp. Tornadus-T is probably the most solid Defogger the tier has (Regenerator + U-Turn), but Rotom-W has more useful perks for Chomp teams, like Ice resist and Will-o-Wisp; Zapdos is also an option, since Static can cripple faster threats like Mega Lopunny and Kartana. Mawile-Mega also likes Steel types being gone.
Gyarados and Chansey are the main problems I have with the team, so you can start there. Also, there's better megas to use, rather than Mega Gallade.

 

[helvetiicaa]

Took all of the little critiques and whatnot and I compiled a new team together after some battles. It's already proven to be more efficient and effective, but I'd like to get your guys takes on it.

 

[NotInMyChristianServer]

Looks nice, only a bit of extra tips before you go to test it:

• For Tornadus-T, I recommend only using 208 EVs on Speed with a Timid Nature, since there's almost nothing worth outspeeding at full speed (only opposing Torndadus-T). This allow you to invest more EVs on defense, so you can live an Ice Punch from Mega Medicham at full health.
• Investing EVs on Attack on Ferrothorn seems kinda useless, tbh. Your classic 252 Hp / 24 Def / 232 SpD with a Careful/Sassy Nature can work better.
• Again, put a Timid Nature on your Magnezone. Outspeeding Non-Scarf Kartana is really important
• Use Thunder Punch on Mega Mawile, Swords Dance isn't going to help much without Sucker Punch.
• If you want, you can use a coverage move on Ash Gren, since you already have a solid Spiker, but if you prefer to have two Spikers, keep it that way.

Now I recommend testing the team with your friends and/or the ladder, and share your troughs and replies here. Also, learn about the meta watching high level play matches (Tournament matches, high ladder) or ask for help on the Trainer Academy chatroom or the OU chat (If they aren't shitposting, of course).

Also, if you want to learn how to make better RTM, look at my Latest RTM [White Album] (shameless plug), where a description of every team member is given via describing how the team was made, or this other (the team itself it's kinda outdated, but the point here is showing how to make a good RTM), where every member has semi-detailed description of their set, and why those sets were chose. Also, a threatlist is very useful for raters, since patching up holes become a lot easier.

 

[helvetiicaa]

Also, if you want to learn how to make better RTM, look at my Latest RTM [White Album] (shameless plug), where a description of every team member is given via describing how the team was made, or this other (the team itself it's kinda outdated, but the point here is showing how to make a good RTM), where every member has semi-detailed description of their set, and why those sets were chose. Also, a threatlist is very useful for raters, since patching up holes become a lot easier.

Awesome! Thanks for all of the help. I'll be sure to do that in the future. I tested it against some friends of mine who got me into it and they said that it was significantly better than the last team, so it's definitely a step in the right direction.
And seriously, thanks for the harsh criticisms. That's just what I wanted.

EDIT: What would be a good coverage move on the Greninja?

 

[Gross Sweep]

Welcome to Smogon! I'm locking your RMT for the time being as the forum rules require that you provide in-depth descriptions for each Pokemon to explain their roles. Please read the rules carefully and take a look at Team Showcase to see the level of detail we require. PM me with updated descriptions and I'll be happy to unlock this.