Up until this weekend, there had been two legendary meetings between the greater Matts of Smogon, the POKeMON MASTER GreenPikachu and the elusive but much-coveted LazarusLong.
During the first meeting, introductions were laid out, construction sites were trespassed upon, phone numbers were handed out, beer was consumed, Smogon community members received long and rambling phone messages. The Baltimore Matt, LazarusLong, was introduced to Steve of Philadelphia, which would one day become important. All in all an excellent time was had.
The second meeting took place on GreenPikachu's turf, in Philadelphia. This time LazarusLong was coming up to Philly for the East Coast Derby Extravaganza, and would be staying with his new friend gp. LazarusLong brought up a Steve of his own this time, a wonderful British gentleman. This fateful meeting took place on St. Patrick's day, and the world was shaken to its bones.
The third meeting, we all knew, would be legendary. The true Matt and Steve would have to be decided.
This weekend, that singular event finally occurred. It is a night that will live in infamy...
...the BIKINI BAKESALE AFTERPARTY OF LATE JUNE...
-Written by LazarusLong-
A friend of mine, the ever wonderful Frenzy Lohan, was attempting to raise some money by throwing a bikini bakesale. Dismayed that I had to work during the day, I offered to throw the afterparty, so that I wouldn't miss out on all the fun.
I didn't really plan the party much, like I generally do, but I did advertise a few times on MySpace. gp saw this and let me know he'd be there, so I made sure to get English Steve to come on by as well, so that we could finally have a Matt and Steve vs. Matt and Steve off.
Anyhow, the Bikini Bakesale alone proved to be too much for most of its guests, as I got a call saying that by 11:30, when I was throwing my party, most of its members (including Frenzy Lohan - who misses her own afterparty?) were too drunk to make the two and a half block walk over to my place. gp, Steve, and their friend Dan were already there, however, drinking in the beautiful little park next door to my apartment. So we started the party off ourselves, the four of us and my co-worker, Iris.
That's right, Smogon. gp revealed to me that he was commissioned by Smogon to convince me to save my chops. Sorry, but it ain't happening. The mutton chops are far too sexy to go away.
Anyhow, the party was just us until about midnight, when the contingent from the Bikini Bakesale that was sober enough to make it over finally did. We received a number of illustrious derby girls, namely Nasty Trick, Sister Midnight, and Minerva Vavoom, as well as announcer extraordinaire, Dirty Marty. gp remembered seeing Dirty Marty announce at ECDE, so you can ask him - the man is incredible. Also included were a couple of people I'd never met before, including an extraordinarily drunk gentleman, and my good friend Glen aka Killer Glennuine Draft. Yes, we all have fun names like this. I'm Virginia Slim. You got a problem with that, son?
I left a camera at the party, with a sign telling people to take pictures with it. Apparently, the best thing to do with a camera you find is to take pictures of your chest:
Dirty Marty, not to be outdone, decided to show off his chest as well, under the one-piece girl's bathing suit he was still wearing under his clothes from the Bikini Bakesale:
Anyhow, around 1:30, the Bikini Bakesale folks all left, having partied themselves out. gp and the Philly trio, my co-workers, and myself were all going strong, however. But where was English Steve? How could we ever have the Matt and Steve-off with only one Steve?
Just as we were about to forfeit Steveness to Philly Steve, we get a call from the British variety, who is in fact coming up. Woo!
Here is a picture of gp and the Philly trio celebrating the fact. Can you see how excited they are?
Things got a bit brutal at that point. We moved the party outside, varying between 8 and 10 people, and continued to drink until about 5:30 in the morning. Skates were put on at one point. I made the mistake of attempting to skate outside with no toe stops and my new laces, which were about two times as long as they should be, and I was too drunk to figure out how to untangle them from my wheels. gp also tried on my second pair of skates, since we have similar sized feet, and decided that roller skating was alas not for him.
This is me kicking Philly Dan, hard. He was attempting to kick and distract me in the midst of a photo, and I decided to kick him back just as the photo was taken.
English Steve, Iris, and Philly Dan, when the party was taken outside. I think English Steve ended up sleeping with Iris (his ex-student) that night, although I'm not entirely sure.
But now, the real question...
SMOGON, WHO IS THE REAL MATT?
gp, I hereby propose a challenge to you. We will keep this poll open on Smogon for exactly one week. Smogon will be allowed to vote (open poll, to keep any ringers from coming on and voting) on who is the real Matt and who is not. The loser will have to be referred to as "Matthew" for a total of one week.
This isn't just online. You'll have to be referred to as "Matthew" among your friends, acquaintances, work associates, everything. The only exception is when being referred to as an alter-ego - ie, gp-Matt can be referred to as "pieco" when necessary, and when I am reffing or skating, I can still be referred to as "Virginia Slim."
Here are some of the Matt vs. Matt statistics:
PHILLY MATT (aka GreenPikachu):
-Better at feats of strength and endurance, including arm wrestling and racing
-Can translate Greek
-Better at Pokémon
-Knows more movie quotes
-Has a college edumacation
-Actually is active in Smogon lately, instead of only logging on maybe once a week
BALTIMORE MATT (aka LazarusLong):
-Better at roller skating
-Knows a lot more about linguistics and general semantics
-Cooler facial hair
-College drop-out, but did gp's school teach him how to fist people?
-Gets a lot more play than gp (fact!)
gp said that perhaps letting Smogon choose is unfair, since I have been rather inactive these past several months. However, I am confident enough in my Matt-ness to accept this handicap.
So, Smogon, the choice is yours!
During the first meeting, introductions were laid out, construction sites were trespassed upon, phone numbers were handed out, beer was consumed, Smogon community members received long and rambling phone messages. The Baltimore Matt, LazarusLong, was introduced to Steve of Philadelphia, which would one day become important. All in all an excellent time was had.
The second meeting took place on GreenPikachu's turf, in Philadelphia. This time LazarusLong was coming up to Philly for the East Coast Derby Extravaganza, and would be staying with his new friend gp. LazarusLong brought up a Steve of his own this time, a wonderful British gentleman. This fateful meeting took place on St. Patrick's day, and the world was shaken to its bones.
The third meeting, we all knew, would be legendary. The true Matt and Steve would have to be decided.
This weekend, that singular event finally occurred. It is a night that will live in infamy...
...the BIKINI BAKESALE AFTERPARTY OF LATE JUNE...
-Written by LazarusLong-
A friend of mine, the ever wonderful Frenzy Lohan, was attempting to raise some money by throwing a bikini bakesale. Dismayed that I had to work during the day, I offered to throw the afterparty, so that I wouldn't miss out on all the fun.
I didn't really plan the party much, like I generally do, but I did advertise a few times on MySpace. gp saw this and let me know he'd be there, so I made sure to get English Steve to come on by as well, so that we could finally have a Matt and Steve vs. Matt and Steve off.
Anyhow, the Bikini Bakesale alone proved to be too much for most of its guests, as I got a call saying that by 11:30, when I was throwing my party, most of its members (including Frenzy Lohan - who misses her own afterparty?) were too drunk to make the two and a half block walk over to my place. gp, Steve, and their friend Dan were already there, however, drinking in the beautiful little park next door to my apartment. So we started the party off ourselves, the four of us and my co-worker, Iris.
That's right, Smogon. gp revealed to me that he was commissioned by Smogon to convince me to save my chops. Sorry, but it ain't happening. The mutton chops are far too sexy to go away.
Anyhow, the party was just us until about midnight, when the contingent from the Bikini Bakesale that was sober enough to make it over finally did. We received a number of illustrious derby girls, namely Nasty Trick, Sister Midnight, and Minerva Vavoom, as well as announcer extraordinaire, Dirty Marty. gp remembered seeing Dirty Marty announce at ECDE, so you can ask him - the man is incredible. Also included were a couple of people I'd never met before, including an extraordinarily drunk gentleman, and my good friend Glen aka Killer Glennuine Draft. Yes, we all have fun names like this. I'm Virginia Slim. You got a problem with that, son?
I left a camera at the party, with a sign telling people to take pictures with it. Apparently, the best thing to do with a camera you find is to take pictures of your chest:
Dirty Marty, not to be outdone, decided to show off his chest as well, under the one-piece girl's bathing suit he was still wearing under his clothes from the Bikini Bakesale:
Anyhow, around 1:30, the Bikini Bakesale folks all left, having partied themselves out. gp and the Philly trio, my co-workers, and myself were all going strong, however. But where was English Steve? How could we ever have the Matt and Steve-off with only one Steve?
Just as we were about to forfeit Steveness to Philly Steve, we get a call from the British variety, who is in fact coming up. Woo!
Here is a picture of gp and the Philly trio celebrating the fact. Can you see how excited they are?
Things got a bit brutal at that point. We moved the party outside, varying between 8 and 10 people, and continued to drink until about 5:30 in the morning. Skates were put on at one point. I made the mistake of attempting to skate outside with no toe stops and my new laces, which were about two times as long as they should be, and I was too drunk to figure out how to untangle them from my wheels. gp also tried on my second pair of skates, since we have similar sized feet, and decided that roller skating was alas not for him.
This is me kicking Philly Dan, hard. He was attempting to kick and distract me in the midst of a photo, and I decided to kick him back just as the photo was taken.
English Steve, Iris, and Philly Dan, when the party was taken outside. I think English Steve ended up sleeping with Iris (his ex-student) that night, although I'm not entirely sure.
But now, the real question...
SMOGON, WHO IS THE REAL MATT?
gp, I hereby propose a challenge to you. We will keep this poll open on Smogon for exactly one week. Smogon will be allowed to vote (open poll, to keep any ringers from coming on and voting) on who is the real Matt and who is not. The loser will have to be referred to as "Matthew" for a total of one week.
This isn't just online. You'll have to be referred to as "Matthew" among your friends, acquaintances, work associates, everything. The only exception is when being referred to as an alter-ego - ie, gp-Matt can be referred to as "pieco" when necessary, and when I am reffing or skating, I can still be referred to as "Virginia Slim."
Here are some of the Matt vs. Matt statistics:
PHILLY MATT (aka GreenPikachu):
-Better at feats of strength and endurance, including arm wrestling and racing
-Can translate Greek
-Better at Pokémon
-Knows more movie quotes
-Has a college edumacation
-Actually is active in Smogon lately, instead of only logging on maybe once a week
BALTIMORE MATT (aka LazarusLong):
-Better at roller skating
-Knows a lot more about linguistics and general semantics
-Cooler facial hair
-College drop-out, but did gp's school teach him how to fist people?
-Gets a lot more play than gp (fact!)
gp said that perhaps letting Smogon choose is unfair, since I have been rather inactive these past several months. However, I am confident enough in my Matt-ness to accept this handicap.
So, Smogon, the choice is yours!
