My First Uber Win (My first Uber warstory too... actually it's my first warstory :D)

shrang

Kylowole is shredded
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#2
Lots of errors from both sides, but then again, this is your first battle. 4/10

Just a side:
Lugia used Aeroblast.
Groudon lost 77§ of its health.
Lugia lost 10% of its health.
Groudon used Thunder Wave.
Lugia is paralysed! It may be unable to move!
The sun continues to shine.
Groudon's leftovers restored its helth a little!
Groudon restored 6% of its health.


Worked as planned. Let's clip its wings.

Groudon: 29%
Lugia: 65%, paralysed, +1 SpA, +1 SpD Stealth Rock


Groudon used Stone Edge.
It's super effective!
Lugia lost 55% of it's health.
Lugia used Aeroblast.
Groudon lost 55% of its health.
ashib29's Groudon fainted.
Lugia lost 10% of it's health.
The sun continues to shine.
The percentages don't add up. Lugia did 77%, then 55%?? What happened here??
 

FlareBlitz

Relaxed nature. Loves to eat.
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#4
The battle was not great (both of you just traded kills due to bad play or lack of metagame knowledge) but I like that you tried to put some thought into your comments. I won't be as harsh as the other guys who posted, but next time, warstory a better battle after you gain some experience in the tier and I'm sure it will be well-received :)
 

Hugendugen

Noam Chompsky.
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#5
I then made this new team and set on to conquer the Uber ladder :pimp:. I wasn't disappionted.

Here's my team: Rayquaza, Dialga, Scizor, Palkia, Groudon, Mewtwo
I'm not gonna comment on the actual battle or the Warstory, as I think the previous posts said it all, but I don't like the way you claim resposibility for creating the team. It is clearly Reachzero's Meteor Shower team and in a warstory, unless you created the team itself, I would recommend crediting whoever did make it, least of all claim it as your own.

Some nitpicks: the last line of the props makes no sense in the context of the battle and in the very last line of the Warstory, you miss-spelt the work 'hope'.

Keep playing in the Uber Tier and gain the experience to one day make it on the Leaderboard. I'll keep an eye out, good luck ;)
 

ginganinja

It's all coming back to me now
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#7
you had decent comments which was nice for a first warstory, the battle was poor though, I agree with Flare Blitz that with a better battle and once you have beter ubers experience you can make an even better warstory.

Have a Nice Day!
 
#9
Lots of errors from both sides, but then again, this is your first battle. 4/10

Just a side:
The percentages don't add up. Lugia did 77%, then 55%?? What happened here??
Definitely can't be because Groudon only had 55% left. Nope! That's too obvious!

Anyways, comments were okay but the battle kinda sucked, sorry :(
 

ginganinja

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#10
@Ozzy
nope, you did not read.
Groudon takes 77% from the first Aeroblast and has 29% after leftovers. Since strict Damage clause is on the Aeroblast should have done 29% (groudons total HP). Its prob a copy + paste error.
Regardless your post is in correct since groudon was not on 55% aftere the first Aeroblast

Have a Nice Day!
 
#11
Thanks everyone for your critiques. I promise my next warstory will be better. Anyway anyone's got links for nice pictures to put on warstories? I'd be grateful if you gave me one.

The percentages don't add up. Lugia did 77%, then 55%?? What happened here??
I'm fixing this. Don't know why this came up. Anyway thanks for reading. :D

Never use your first battle as a warstory tbh.
It wasn't my first battle. It was my first win. Anyway I can't make that mistake again, can I? thanks for reading.

The battle was not great (both of you just traded kills due to bad play or lack of metagame knowledge)
It was my first win, so definitely one of my first battles. Thanks for the advice anyway.


I'm not gonna comment on the actual battle or the Warstory, as I think the previous posts said it all, but I don't like the way you claim resposibility for creating the team. It is clearly Reachzero's Meteor Shower team and in a warstory, unless you created the team itself, I would recommend crediting whoever did make it, least of all claim it as your own.
I got something to say in this. In the beginning, I made a team similar to this one, with MixQuaza in the lead and I could set up Stealth Rock later. I used a Forretress back then. It usually didn't work. I then went on changing my team and, mostly, due to bad luck (two crits in a row... even got hd a scarf-rachi flinch me thrice in a row -__-), my teams didn't fare well (no wins at all!). Then, one day, I was reading The Smog and found ReachZero's RMT and finally found a good mid-game S-rocker (Dialga). You know, I'm kind of an ego maniac, I HATE copying people. I tried MANY variants of his team, mainly with Deoxys-f and also Blissey etc. Unluckily for me... None worked... I still lost battles. Finally I got over myself and copied his full team. And it worked! I managed my first win! Last but not the least: I never claimed the credits for making this team. I mean, I did MAKE this team (I went to File>Make A Team bla bla bla) but I haven't CREATED it. I agree I haven't credited him so here I am: Thank you ReachZero for this AWESOME team. Even the name sounds good!

Terrible battle and bad commentary. That's all.
Thanks for reading it at least! :D

The battle sucked but had decent commentary 6/10
Honestly, I thought everybody would stop reading after Rayquaza got pulverized by Starmie for free. I guess the commentary stopped you from doing that. Thank you for reading! :D
 

shrang

Kylowole is shredded
is a Community Contributoris a Contributor to Smogonis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus
#12
Anyway anyone's got links for nice pictures to put on warstories? I'd be grateful if you gave me one.
I just get mine from Bulbapedia, to be honest. Just type in the Pokemon you're looking for, and the sprites are at the bottom.
 
#15
Double post ^ and for the first move, the starmie was obviously an anti-lead and anti leads almost never predict, you had not revealed any member of your team and so the opponent had no reason to predict anything. On top of this, there are very few things, even in ubers, that can come in on a starmie ice beam and not be threatened + even if you had a blissey to bring in she would just be set up fodder for forretress, therefore rayquaza had no place staying in there just to be KO'ed, but ofcourse, you know that now.
 

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