Copyediting Orthworm (GP 0/1)

[SET]

name: IronPress
move 1: Iron Defense
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Heavy Slam / Iron Head
move 4: Rest / Shed Tail / Substitute
item: Chesto Berry / Sitrus Berry/ Leftovers
tera type: Poison / Fairy
ability: Earth Eater
nature: Impish / Careful
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* Thanks to Earth Eater, Orthworm can wall sets of many physical Dragon types like Garchomp and Baxcalibur.

* Heavy Slam can 2HKO offensive Dragapult, while Iron Head is superior for Dragonite.

* Rest is an option with Chesto Berry to heal Orthworm in a pinch, making it last much longer.

* Shed Tail gives Orthworm use when IronPress isn't as effective. The surprise factor comes at the price of the reduced effectiveness of IronPress.

* Earthquake is still an option to hit Gholdengo, but it won't 2HKO, so Recover is still a problem.

* Substitute stops Salt Cure damage from Garganacl and phasing from Garchomp's Dragon Tail.

Items
========

* **Sitrus Berry**: Sitrus Berry allows two uses of Shed Tail.

* **Leftovers**: Leftovers are also an option, particularly if using Substitute.

Tera Types
========

***Poison**: This gives Orthworm a fighting resistance and only 1 weakness, and isn't weak to Steel like a Fairy tera is. Tera Poison also maintains a resistance to Flower Trick.

***Fairy**: This also gives a fighting resistance, while being even better against Dragon. Notably, Dragoon Tail Garchomp becomes set-up bait.

EV spreads
========

* **252 HP / 252 SpD / 4 Spe with Careful**: This EV spread makes Orthworm much less likely to be 2HKOd by Life Orb Dragapult.

* **252 HP / 116 Def / 140 Spe with Impish**: This spread can be used to outspeed Adamant Kingambit, and outspeed most Corviknight and Skeledirge. This can be very useful if using Shed Tail.

[SET]
Name: Shed Tail Support
name: Shed Tail Support
move 1: Shed Tail
move 2: Stealth Rock
move 3: Body Press
move 4: Heavy Slam / Spikes / Iron Head
item: Sitrus Berry
Ability: Earth Eater
Nature: Relaxed/ Impish
Tera Type: Poison/ Fairy
EVs: 252 HP/ 4 Atk/ 252 Def
ivs: 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* Orthworm's good physical bulk and ability make it a great user of Shed Tail, whose Stealth Rock support also doesn't make it totally dependent on Shed Tail to be useful.

* Body Press has a good chance to OHKO offensive Meowscarada, and threatens Kingambit.

* A Steel-type STAB helps hit some Ghost-types like Mimikyu, who is OHKOd by Heavy Slam after Disguise. Iron Head won't do this, but does much more damage to heavy foes like Dragonite.

* Orthworm can also set spikes, in addition to Stealth Rock. This lets Orthworm set many hazards, at the expense of possibly using Shed Tail less.

* Many Pokemon can benefit from Orthworm's Shed Tail, if using that move. One example is Air Balloon Gholdengo, who puts a lot of pressure on defensive foes when behind a Substitute.

Tera Types
========

*** This Orthworm isn't usually meant to Terastalize.

***Poison**: Tera Poison leaves Orthworm with only one fairly rare weakness. T

***Fairy**: Tera Fairy gives Orthworm a fighting resistance, as well as a way to absorb Garchomp's Dragon Tail while still staying in.

EV spreads
========

* ** 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD with Relaxed and a Speed iv of 0**: This spread maximizes Orthworm's physical bulk while underspeeding Hippowdon.

* **252 HP / 116 Def / 140 Spe with Impish**: This spread outspeeds Max speed Kingambit, and most Skeledirge and Corviknight. Outspeeding Kingambit and Corviknight means you don't have to worry about Taunt stopping Shed Tail, as well as letting Orthworm bring in a teammate against Torch Song.

* ** 252 HP / 44 Def / 212 Spe with Jolly: This spread outspeeds Adamant Breloom. Mach Punch still does a lot, but thanks to Sitrus Berry, you will have enough HP left to Shed Tail to a check or counter.

{CREDITS}
- Written by [Omastar 68, 68.291756]]
- Quality checked by: [[Theorymon, 29010/]]
- Grammar checked by: [[]]
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Theorymon

Here's to 14 more years!
is a Site Content Manageris a Social Media Contributoris a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Top Smogon Media Contributoris a Community Leader Alumnusis a CAP Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Moderator
Sorry for the long wait! I had to test out Orthworm before I felt like I could comment on it! Be prepared, this might be a long check, but I'm willing to help every step of the way!

Shed Pass

I'd shake this set up quite a bit, here's what I have in mind. After that, I'll get into some stuff that should be added!

[SET]
name: Shed Tail Support
move 1: Shed Tail
move 2: Stealth Rock
move 3: Body Press
move 4: Heavy Slam / Spikes / Iron Head
item: Sitrus Berry
tera type: Fairy / Poison
ability: Earth Eater
nature: Relaxed / Impish
evs: 252 HP / 4 Atk / 252 Def
ivs: 0 Spe

- First off, make sure you don't reference other sets! Try to assume that each person will only read one set.

- Make sure you use complete sentences too. Even though we're using bullet points, we still want to read nice! For example, this line

*Orthworm can also tank a hit then pass a substitute via Shed Tail.
would be better like this:

* Orthworm's good physical bulk and ability make it a great user of Shed Tail.
Shed Tail Support Set Comments

- I think it's important to note that while Shed Tail is the main purpose of this set, that setting up Stealth Rock and/or Spikes means its got an alternate game plan if Shed Tail isn't the right strategy.

- I'd mention that Body Press is specifically to hit Kingambit and Meowscarada.

- I think it's worth talking about Heavy Slam VS. Iron Head: basically, Heavy Slam can 2HKO offensive Dragapult and can OHKO Mimikyu after Disguise, while Iron Head deals OK damage to heavy foes such as Dragonite.

- This is a bit unprecedented, but Orthworm is such a support oriented Pokemon that I think mentioning a teammate is in order. I'd suggest Air Balloon Gholdengo: it punishes a LOT of defensive foes, and in particular, can be very difficult for stall teams to handle when its under a Substitute.

Shed Tail Support Tera Types

- I'd give a special bullet point to mention that, it's often a good idea to conserve your Terastallization for one of Orthworm's teammates unless you absolutely MUST terastallize Orthworm.

- I'd give a bullet point each to Fairy and Poison. Fairy is all about giving you a Fighting-type resist while still being able to take on Dragons, while Poison gives you a Fighting resist without making you vulnerable to Steel-type attacks.

Shed Tail Support EV Spreads

Believe it or not, this Orthworm DOES have multiple viable spreads! Here's the ones I'd cover. I would give each spread one bullet point (you can look at analyses onsite to see how the formatting goes there)

252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD with Relaxed and a Speed IV of 0: This is simple, it makes you slower than Hippowdon, which can be nice for getting Gholdengo in without a predicted Rock Tomb or the likes popping its Air Balloon.

252 HP / 116 Def / 140 Spe with Impish: OK I realize this may seem insane: Speed on Orthworm?! The Speed EVs let it outspeed maximum Speed Adamant Kingambit, letting you get off a Body Press first. More importantly: this will outspeed a LOT of Skeledirge and Corviknight, which can really mess up their game plans against Orthworm (especially Corviknight, who relies on Taunt to stop you). You can also mention that you can run more Speed since this is a heavily contested speed tier, but unfortunately, we're not allowed to give EV spreads for the purpose of "speed creeping".

252 HP / 44 Def / 212 Spe with Jolly: So this is a pretty niche option compared to the other two, but this spread has a neat trick: it outspeeds Adamant Breloom! Mach Punch will do a lot, but thanks to Sitrus Berry, you will have enough HP left to Shed Tail to a better answer. Note that a Breloom lead is really not ideal regardless, but it can make or break an otherwise bad lead situation for you.

Bulky Worm

Here's what I'd change this set to:

[SET]
name: IronPress
move 1: Iron Defense
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Heavy Slam / Iron Head
move 4: Rest / Shed Tail / Substitute
item: Chesto Berry / Sitrus Berry
tera type: Poison / Fairy
ability: Earth Eater
nature: Impish / Careful
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe

IronPress set comments

- I think I'd focus the one sentence selling point on Orthworm's ability to wall common movesets for major physical Dragon-types, such as Baxcalibur and Garchomp.

- I'd talk about the Heavy Slam vs Iron Head thing here too, with a bigger focus on Heavy Slam making the match up against Dragapult better, vs Iron Head being better against offensive Dragonite.

- Using Rest with Chesto Berry makes Orthworm stick around a lot longer, as you'd expect!

- I realize slashing in Shed Tail might seem crazy, but it gives Orthworm a secondary playstyle if Iron Press isn't gonna work against the team you're facing. It also can be a horrifying surprise for mons that'd normally stomp on Iron Press sets like Skeledirge if they've already seen Iron Defense.

- While Earthquake isn't slashed in anymore, I think it's still worth a mention for doing damage to Gholdengo. The big issue though: it doesn't usually 2HKO Gholdengo, meaning any Gholdengo with Recover is going to be a big problem.

Iron Press Tera Types

I think it's best we cut this down to just Poison and Fairy. You got the reason for Poison right, but Fairy's reasoning isn't really all that niche anymore: being immune to Dragon Tail makes Defensive Garchomps total set-up bait! I don't think the other ones need to really be mentioned.

Iron Press EV Spreads

So like I said earlier, we aren't really allowed Speed Creep EVs like that unfortunately. However, I think there are 3 Spreads worth talking about!

- 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe with Impish: Just maximizing your best defense stat, you get the idea. Only mentioned here because there are two other options to consider.

- 252 HP / 252 SpD / 4 Spe with Careful: Orthworm's Special Defense sorta sucks, but maximizing it can make it harder for some stuff to break through. For example, LO Dragapult is much less likely to 2HKO a Teratsallized Orthworm!

- 252 HP / 116 Def / 140 Spe with Impish: Same deal as the last set, you outspeed Adamant Kingambit, and outspeed a lot of Corviknight and Skeledirge. This is mainly if you're going to use Shed Tail. Make sure you word this differently than the other set though, because remember: never assume the reader will read both sets!

That was a lot to go over. Once you implement this stuff, I'll take another look! It might not be a bad idea for another QC member to take a look too, Orthworm is honestly a pretty weird Pokemon, even if its viable!
 
Wow that's a lot ty. Is Leftovers bad? I've had moderate success w/ it and Metal Burst, but I removed both for you.

EDIT: Is coil worth a mention as an alterantaive to Iron Defense?
 
Last edited:

Theorymon

Here's to 14 more years!
is a Site Content Manageris a Social Media Contributoris a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Top Smogon Media Contributoris a Community Leader Alumnusis a CAP Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Moderator
Wow that's a lot ty. Is Leftovers bad? I've had moderate success w/ it and Metal Burst, but I removed both for you.

EDIT: Is coil worth a mention as an alterantaive to Iron Defense?
Actually, Leftovers is good and should totally be slashed in, my bad! You should mention that its the ideal item when you use Substitute.

As for Metal Burst, I've thought about it, but its sorta unproven so I'd take it out for now. Worst case scenario, if it does end up being good, we can always edit it in the dex later!

Finally, for Coil, I SORTA want to try that (if only for Earthquake), but again it's fairly unproven, so I'd leave it out for now.

Anyways, I'm going to fix some formatting and spelling stuff in this quote to get up to standards. The changes are in blue so you'll know what got changed! I'll put comments in green. Sorry this took so long too, I had a barely functioning computer until earlier this week lol.

[SET]

name: IronPress
move 1: Iron Defense
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Heavy Slam / Iron Head
move 4: Rest / Shed Tail / Substitute
item: Chesto Berry / Sitrus Berry / Leftovers
tera type: Poison / Fairy
ability: Earth Eater
nature: Impish / Careful
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* Thanks to Earth Eater, Orthworm can wall sets of many physical Dragon types, like Garchomp and Baxcalibur.

* Heavy Slam can 2hko offensive Dragapult, while Iron Head is superior for Dragonite.

* Rest is an option with Chesto Berry to out-heal Leftovers recovery. I'm not sure I'd really compare it to Leftovers (especially when Leftovers is really specific to a Substitute set). I'd instead mention that the rapid recovery makes Orthworm last much longer.

* Shed Tail gives Orthworm a use when IronPress isn't as effective. I think this bullet point could use some more detail. Mainly, that it dramatically alters Orthworm's role in the match when used, so you WILL need to sacrifice the effectiveness of Ironpress to pull off Shed Tail in exchange for the surprise factor..

* Earthquake is still an option to hit Gholdengo. I think it's important to mention that Earthquake does not 2HKO Gholdengo, meaning sets with Recover are still an issue.

* Substitute stops Salt Cure damage from Garganacl. I would also mention that it blocks Garchomp from phazing you out with Dragon Tail.

Tera Types
========

***Orthworm isn't usually meant to Terastalize. I would remove this, Ironpress is actually not a bad option for Terastallizing! It's the Shed Tail set where you want to avoid doing that if possible.

* **Poison**: This gives Orthworm a fighting resistance and only 1 weakness, and isn't weak to Steel like Fairy. Tera Poison also maintains a resistance to Flower Trick.

***Fairy**: This also gives a fighting resistance, while being even better against Dragon. Notably, Dragon Tail Garchomp becomes set-up bait.

EV spreads
========

* **252 HP / 252 SpD / 4 Spe with Careful**: This EV spread makes Orthworm much less likely to be 2HKOd by Life Orb Dragapult.

* **252 HP / 116 Def / 140 Spe with Impish**: This spread can be used to outspeed Adamant Kingambit, and outspeed most Corviknight and Skeledirge. This is can be very useful if using Shed Tail.

Items
========


The main things I think you need bullet points here for are for Sitrus Berry and Leftovers (Chesto was already explained with Rest). Basically, Sitrus Berry lets Orthworm potentially use Shed Tail twice, and Leftovers is the best passive recovery when using Substitute.


[SET]
name: Shed Tail Support
move 1: Shed Tail
move 2: Stealth Rock
move 3: Body Press
move 4: Heavy Slam / Spikes / Iron Head
item: Sitrus Berry
tera type: Fairy / Poison
ability: Earth Eater
nature: Relaxed / Impish
evs: 252 HP / 4 Atk / 252 Def
ivs: 0 Spe


[SET COMMENTS]

* Orthworm's good physical bulk and ability make it a great user of Shed Tail, whose Stealth Rock support also doesn't make it totally dependent on Shed Tail to be useful.

I rolled Stealth Rock into the first bullet point because I think it's a major part of Orthworm's selling point compared to the less viable Cyclizar.

* Body Press has a good chance to OHKO offensive Meowscarada, and threatens Kingambit.

* A Steel-type STAB helps hit some Ghost-types like Mimikyu, who is OHKOed by Heavy Slam after Disguise. Iron Head won't do this, but does much more damage to heavy foes like Dragonite.

* Orthworm can also set spikes, in addition to Stealth Rock. I'd shift the focus of this sentence, and say that Spikes lets Orthworm go all in at hazards support at the cost of potentially compromising a Shed Tail pass.

* Sitrus Berry is preferred to try to get fire off another Shed Tail if necessary.

* Most Pokemon can benefit from Orthworm's Shed Tail, but a great example is Air Balloon Gholdengo, who puts a lot of pressure on defensive foes such as Hippowdon when behind a Substitute.

I moved the Sitrus Berry mention here, you'll never use anything but Sitrus Berry so no need for an item section. We don't officially have a team options section yet either, so best to place it on the main set.

Tera Types
========


This is the set where you want to mention that you want to avoid Terastallization if possible, and that it's more of an emergency maneuver.

Also, while the reasons to use Fairy and Poison are sorta similar to the IronPress set, make sure the writing is different between sets, GP does NOT like repeated writing!


EV spreads
========

* ** 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD with Relaxed and a Speed IV of 0**: I would revamp this bullet point a bit: I would focus on the underspeeding of Hippowdon.

* **252 HP / 116 Def / 140 Spe with Impish**: This spread outspeeds Max speed Kingambit, and most Skeledirge and Corviknight. Mention that outspeeding Kingambit and Corviknight means you don't have to worry about Taunt stopping Shed Tail, and outspeeding Skeledirge avoids issues with Orthworm taking serious damage from Torch Song.

* ** 252 HP / 44 Def / 212 Spe with Jolly: This spread outspeeds Adamant Breloom. Mach Punch still does a lot, but thanks to Sitrus Berry, you will have enough HP left to Shed Tail to a check or counter.


{CREDITS}
- Written by [Omastar 68, 68.291756]]
- Quality checked by: [[Theorymon, 29010/]]
- Grammar checked by: [[]]
Once you implement this stuff, this should be pretty close to being approved! If you need any more help, let me know!
 
Actually, Leftovers is good and should totally be slashed in, my bad! You should mention that its the ideal item when you use Substitute.

As for Metal Burst, I've thought about it, but its sorta unproven so I'd take it out for now. Worst case scenario, if it does end up being good, we can always edit it in the dex later!

Finally, for Coil, I SORTA want to try that (if only for Earthquake), but again it's fairly unproven, so I'd leave it out for now.

Anyways, I'm going to fix some formatting and spelling stuff in this quote to get up to standards. The changes are in blue so you'll know what got changed! I'll put comments in green. Sorry this took so long too, I had a barely functioning computer until earlier this week lol.



Once you implement this stuff, this should be pretty close to being approved! If you need any more help, let me know!
Do I change tag to copyediting?
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 1, Guests: 0)

Top