Serious Relationships and Sex Ed Thread

[kittenmay]

I was having this conversation with another smogoner around your age (our age?) - skipping over the friendzone stuff because I already stated my opinion on that.
I'm going to bold this, for all high school and college boys that seem to think this.

YOU DON'T NEED A GIRLFRIEND.

There, I said it. There is no law that states you need a girlfriend RIGHT THIS SECOND. So you've never had a girlfriend. And? Have you been struck by the plague? Looking for a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend will make you miserable in the long run, either because you don't find one, or you find one but it turns out having a girlfriend isn't all its cracked up to be, and you're stuck with a girl you're not even particularly fond of because you wanted the title of girlfriend.
You're young. Enjoy life. You don't need a girlfriend for emotional satisfaction. If something happens, it does. If you find a girl that catches your eye, go for her. If you want to get into the flirting/dating scene, go for it (although please stay away from that seduction bullshit, it won't get you anywhere you want to be). But to pursue the concept of a girlfriend with no actual person you wish to achieve that status with? Don't. You're better off without one, than in something like that.

 

[Rayquaza2233]

Talk to girls. Be a friend to them, and don't even think about the term "friend zone" or if you're in it or not. Flirt if you want, and read their body language and verbal responses and figure out if they're interested. If you think they are, muster up some courage and ask them out on a date. If they say yes, great, take it slow and don't try too hard. If they say no, no big deal, just tell them no problem and continue to be their friend. A "no" today is not a "no" forever.

This isn't an absolute, though. There will be times where it will be more beneficial to walk out of their lives. No one can tell you when that is, but sometimes you shouldn't keep them in your lives.

 

[cim]

This isn't an absolute, though. There will be times where it will be more beneficial to walk out of their lives. No one can tell you when that is, but sometimes you shouldn't keep them in your lives.

If you fell too hard for them, absolutely take a break from them for a few weeks or months. You can't get over someone while being their friend and interacting with them every day - it just tears the metaphorical scab right off.

the friend zone is a joke, everyone else did a good job talking about it already though.

 

[DM]

This isn't an absolute, though. There will be times where it will be more beneficial to walk out of their lives. No one can tell you when that is, but sometimes you shouldn't keep them in your lives.

Also very true.

 

[MrIndigo]

If you fell too hard for them, absolutely take a break from them for a few weeks or months. You can't get over someone while being their friend and interacting with them every day - it just tears the metaphorical scab right off.

Absolutely - and the same thing applies to breakups as it does to rejections.

 

[Fishy]

Does anyone here have any experience with transcendental relationships? Like abstract

you're gonna have to break it down a little further, romeo.

 

[popemobile]

have you ever had a relationship.................................on weed?

 

[WaterBomb]

I can attest to the fact that I didn't meet my wife until I had stopped "actively" seeking a relationship. Also, simply having a girlfriend is not going to make you happy. Loneliness is a powerful feeling, believe me I know, that drives us to be impatient and desperate. However, anyone here who has been in a bad relationship knows that you're even MORE lonely when you're with someone you don't really want to be with. My advice would be to learn how to be happy when you're single, so that when a relationship does come your way you can feel comfortable, secure, and it can be nothing but a positive addition to your life.

I believe John Candy in Cool Runnings put it best when he said:

"If you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

 

[The Requiem]

you're even MORE lonely when you're with someone you don't really want to be with.

QFT.

Nothing is worse than finding yourself sitting around with someone and suddenly realizing that you don't want to be with them and ended up with them in the first place for all the wrong reasons. Even more so when that person that you suddenly dont want to be with is feeling what you were wishing that you felt in the first place. That shit is a disaster. I'd take being lonely than experiencing that feel again eight ways to Sunday.

 

[Princess Bubblegum]

Dead serious question: how often should one masturbate, I fear I am doing it way to much

 

[Myzozoa]

Dead serious question: how often should one masturbate, I fear I am doing it way to much

Don't do it if it hurts, otherwise I don't see any harm in it. If you feel you do it too much, the solution is to keep busy, individuals tend to masturbate more when theyre bored.

 

[moonbound]

If you really want to not do it as often, just force yourself to do 100 pushups instead every time you get the urge. You'll be more productive with your time and really helps if there's some benefit to not doing it.

 

[popemobile]

find other ways to occupy your time. there's a reason the phrase "idle hands are the devil's workshop" exists

not that beating off is a bad thing, mind you

 

[WeGotTheJazz]

Just to add to the posts stating that "getting" a girlfriend is not the be-all end-all, I'm 20 years old and never even been kissed, but I don't actively think less of myself for it. That's because I've realised (as you can/will too!) there's more to life: Once you get to a certain age (after the first few years of College/University/whatever you do after you turn 18, more or less) you'll realise you have quite a bit of responsibility and that having something to share your troubles with, although probably nice, won't suddenly mean you don't have a degree to study for, or a job to work on. In fact, it'll mean more responsibility, because you'll have someone else to worry about in life.

Nothing is black and white in this scary world we live in. ~True love~ as you may know it doesn't exist, so stop looking for it.

Just my two dollah.

EDIT: Oh gosh, hope I didn't crush too many childhood dreams

 

[Brammi]

Dead serious question: how often should one masturbate, I fear I am doing it way to much

However much feels right for them.

 

[The Requiem]

Dead serious question: how often should one masturbate, I fear I am doing it way to much

The only time masturbating is an issue is when you are skipping past important shit to rub one out. Like if whacking off is getting in the way of your life, then yeah, you have reached overboard. If whacking off is -not- getting in the way of your life, then fuck it.

 

[alamaster]

Dead serious question: how often should one masturbate, I fear I am doing it way to much

As long as its not interfering with your life (like you're failing to do important shit cause you're tugging the meat pole too much) then its cool. Also another reason to not do it too much is cause you'll get whats known as the "death grip" (no relation to that shitty rap artist) which means you lose sensation in your dick from gripping too hard. A vagina can't compete with a hand in terms of tightness, so you won't be able to jizz as effectively and the girl might be going "wtf" when you aren't cumming with the force of 1500 suns. If that happens to you, don't jerk it for like 2 weeks, that should reset the sensitivity on your wiener and you'll be good to go.

 

[WaterBomb]

~True love~ as you may know it doesn't exist, so stop looking for it.

I wholeheartedly disagree, as I have personally found it. The chick-flick definition of "true love" may not exist, but the real definition of true love sure as hell does.

 

[Chill Murray]

Dead serious question: how often should one masturbate, I fear I am doing it way to much

More than once every day is probably over the line. Some men also have issues where masturbating too much leads to an inability to ejaculate from oral or vaginal sex, so if that's an issue for you it might be a good idea to scale it back a bit.

 

[Ninahaza]

~True love~ as you may know it doesn't exist, so stop

I too, like waterbomb, will have to disagree greatly.

But perhaps I should be the last person to talk

 

[WeGotTheJazz]

I guess I picked the wrong phrase, sorry! I was referring to "true love" in the sense of there being only one person who could be a perfect match with, and that you two'd live happily ever after; with 7 billion people on the planet, there is no way that the former point would be the case, and w.r.t. the latter you never know what might be go wrong..

EDIT: "The one", I think that's it. Not true love. My bad.

 

[kittenmay]

The concept of soul mates is moronic to me. Moreso that people seem to find their soul mate in high school or college. Come on, if theres only one person in the ENTIRE world who is perfect for you, what if they're in a completely different place? What are the odds that they went to the same high school as you, and aren't in, say, China or Haiti. Its absurd

 

[Ninahaza]

I guess I picked the wrong phrase, sorry! I was referring to "true love" in the sense of there being only one person who could be a perfect match with, and that you two'd live happily ever after; with 7 billion people on the planet, there is no way that the former point would be the case, and w.r.t. the latter you never know what might be go wrong..

EDIT: "The one", I think that's it. Not true love. My bad.

Alright then. Nicely put :)

 

[popemobile]

I guess I picked the wrong phrase, sorry! I was referring to "true love" in the sense of there being only one person who could be a perfect match with, and that you two'd live happily ever after; with 7 billion people on the planet, there is no way that the former point would be the case, and w.r.t. the latter you never know what might be go wrong..

EDIT: "The one", I think that's it. Not true love. My bad.

like the friend zone, no one outside of high school actually believes in this

 

[WaterBomb]

Thanks for clearing that up. I would not disagree with your mindset that "the one" does not exist, but it's really a difficult concept to wrestle with in the first place. Being a man of faith, I would say that the person I am meant to be with is guided by God. Though this would mean that I am "intended" to be with a particular person, it does not necessarily indicate that God could not guide my relationship with any of a number of women in this world. So I guess this is where confusion sometimes happens, because people equate "The One" with "ONLY one" which is not quite accurate.

Of course, not all faiths even agree with the first part so there's more differing opinions to be had. Oh well, I guess it's safe to say that whatever brings people hope and happiness at least gives them a goal in life.