So I'm in a bit of a pickle that I could probably resolve myself but I'm having difficulty thinking of ways to do it with the delicacy required.
Past-relationship relevancy: Was with a girl off and on for roughly 28 months, during one of the interim periods I went on a few dates with one of the girls described below but broke it off quickly b/c i still had feelings for this girl. Relationship ended in October.
Girl A: Friend of Girl B I met in March, began hanging out a little bit, sleeping together somewhat often. I felt affectionate towards her but realized quickly what we have next to nothing in common. Intellectual and physical attraction has dwindled. No physical contact in the four summer months due to separate provinces. When we parted in April we agreed not to be in a relationship but simply to see where things go. She had feelings for me at this point (unconfessed but I knew) and they seem to have only grown with the distance, unfortunately. Have been attempting to dwindle her feelings without being an overt dick because she's a nice enough girl and I don't want to hurt her and also because it would complicate things nicely as described below.
Girl B: Met her first while she was going hard after another guy, became friend with her as she was nearing the end of that interest. We are fairly similar people with similar interests so we became pretty close friends, I'd help her through emotional stuff, etc. She set me up with friend A while in the tail end of this period. Shortly after her interest in the other guy ended, and a couple weeks into the period where I was sleeping with A, I had a threesome with both A and B which was by all measures a fucking awesome time. She (B) and I slept together several more times in a casual manner without A knowing before the uni year ended, consensual, fun, no strings attached. In a vacuum we would likely continue to sleep together once school resumed until one of us became encumbered by a relationship. I like her a fair bit, would be willing to date her if she were interested, but would not be willing at this point to pursue her or suggest anything more than the good friends that we are; I'm happy with this situation.
Complications arise, however, in that Girls A and B are rooming in the same suite at University next year. Any actions that I might undertake (such as breaking it off cold) affect my ability to be close friends with B (not to mention potentially sex; my own quarters are questionable due to at least one of my roommates being heavy Christians). On top of that Girl B has grown tired of the clinginess of A (acknowledged by myself) and is already dissatisfied with her living situation for next year.
Now into this situation, with me back in my hometown, enters Girl C. Girl C has carried a torch for me for a long time, several years, and is the girl mentioned in the second paragraph. We've engaged in some date like activities in the past, made out a few times and whatnot, but have generally not been a part of each other's life in recent years. Recently she messaged me do her going to a University in the same city as my University this coming year, we began talking and whatnot, it was new, fresh, exciting, and seemed right so things progressed quickly. We've begun getting physical and will continue to do so in the coming days and weeks. She's a reasonably nice and interesting girl, as well as reasonably attractive and I could certainly be content with this relationship. I have a concern, however, raised from the last time we saw each other (yesterday) which is that I am getting strong signals (not of overattachment because this early that's reasonable) of her placing me up on a pedestal as some sort of 'perfect' individual. I'm concerned that this will limit the depth of attraction I can feel for her as someone who perceives me to be without flaw (I have many) while also deepening the superficial attraction she will feel for me. I absolutely like her as a person and want to remain committed to doing things with her/showing her places in the new City as I have committed to do, but I have reservations about doing it in relationship form should this perception of hers continue. I also question to what level we can be intellectually compatible with such a difference in perception of each other. I can forsee a situation where we get along happily and the relationship progresses nicely as a normal relationship would but I can also forsee a situation where she views me as a better person than I am and will do anything for me whereas I can only see her as a convenient lay (I'm suspecting I'll be her first serious sexual relationship which, judging by her reaction last night, will be enhanced by her infatuation; I will be distinctly more experienced than her (and if I may toot my own horn, I'm rather competent in bed which will only exacerbate matters)). Complications arise further in that she's a fairly good friend of my sister (which honestly doesn't bother me much, my sister has stood behind me in the past) and that I left her hurt the last time (as outlined at the start, the right thing to do) which I'd rather avoid doing again.
Finally, there also enters the complication that I'm not entirely sure I even want to be in a relationship right now. The relationship mentioned in paragraph 2 left some pretty deep emotional scars on me as we were, legitimately by any sense of measure I've seen and also by my own instinct, in love with each other. I've read before that you want your first relationship to end badly so that you can experience future relationships normally, that falling into true love the first time is the worst thing as it discolours your future relationships which pale in comparison to what you've had. I'm sure this isn't universally true but it does seem to be the case at this time in that I feel like a heroin addict without the addiction, my goals have been structured around find the peace, happiness, and serenity I had when I was in this relationship. I've moved on from this ex, having recognized where we were uncompatible with each other but the memories of what we had do not fade. Thus this is one occasional block that's occurred in each sexual relationship I've had since that relationship ended.
Continuing the previous, there's also the feeling I get right now that I may simply not want a relationship, that I'm happy being single and focussing on myself, my hobbies, and my schoolwork. Having experienced a full relationship I know that its a hell of a lot of work and emotional investment that I'm not sure I'm willing to invest right now (being low energy by nature). I also enjoy being able to spend time with myself uninhibited, being able to go out for drinks with my friends or chill with them, or even just to have NSA sex with people like girl 2. Certainly my studies would not be negatively impacted by being single. Further, I'm finding I'm enjoying being a single male. Curiously since I've had my attentions occupied by one or more ladies I've found myself the attentions of women more and more frequently which I take some manner of pride in and there are certainly women I've met in the past or continue to meet that I might like the opportunity to pursue.
In summary, I've created something of a pickle for myself where no matter what I do I'll be leaving one or more people emotionally hurt through my own inaction, despite my best intentions. There are several potential outcomes that I could be happy with, but also several outcomes that I might not be. I could likely decide upon an appropriate course of action (and consider my dilemma appropriately through introspection) but I turn to your ladies and gents for your appraisal of the situation and thoughts in seek of a new perspective hopefully free from judgement.
p.s. I'm sure I've left out some critical detail somewhere so if you need clarification or questions answered ask away
p.p.s. oh and i have a problem in that i p much never wear a condom b/c i often have trouble finishing as it is (not masturbatory related, mental) but the girls i sleep with are generally on birth control. not smart, i know. but that's an issue for another time.
