I Might Have Theorymonned Too Close To The Sun.
also this is a long ass post!!

Blu Lue (Miltank) @ Rocky Helmet
Ability: Scrappy
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD
Bold Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Body Press (Normal)
- Defense Curl
- Milk Drink
- Stealth Rock

Satanas (Dubwool) @ Leftovers
Ability: Bulletproof
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 HP / 4 Def / 252 SpD
Calm Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Body Press (Normal)
- Cotton Guard
- Rest
- Sleep Talk
Bulky mfs that plow through shit w BP, not much to add, Dubwool boost faster but milky milky moo has better recovery and can hit Ghosts, pick ur poison
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Suddenly, rotting leg (Dragalge) @ Assault Vest
Ability: Adaptability
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 HP / 128 SpA / 128 SpD
Sassy Nature
- Hydro Pump / Flip Turn (Poison)
- Flip Turn / Hydro Pump (Dragon)
- Draco Meteor / Sludge Bomb
- Scald
STAB Flip Turn w/ Adaptability outta do a good chunk of chip to anything that is pink and round, specially if its Poison type, but I personally love Special Gunk Shot
(i dont know what EV spread to give it and im lazy so i wont try do what you want)
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X D (Cloyster) @ Life Orb
Ability: Skill Link
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Pin Missile (Water)
- Icicle Spear (Ice)
- Shell Smash
- Rock Blast
Water Pin Missile, thats the mon
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"gimmicky" (Haxorus) @ Choice Band
Ability: Mold Breaker
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- First Impression (Dragon)
- Outrage
- Earthquake
- Poison Jab
surprise mfs with that STAB First Impression out of 147 atk and CB, and later clean w Outrage after eliminating all the fairies
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KiSS (Obstagoon) @ Flame Orb
Ability: Guts
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Facade (Dark)
- Knock Off (Normal)
- Obstruct
- Close Combat

Throat :0 (Throh) (M) @ Flame Orb
Ability: Guts
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 4 SpD
Adamant Nature
- Facade (Fighting)
- Bulk Up
- Knock Off
- Rest
kinda gimmicky facade abusers, but throh w just 1 bulk up will decimate anything that isnt slowbro, and Obstagoon?? well,, It certainly hits a little bit less hard, but has an easier time getting burned, and can outspeed and beat lando-t.
overall really hard to switch into once they get going
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Pink Block (Lurantis) @ Leftovers
Ability: Contrary
EVs: 248 HP / 8 Atk / 252 SpD
Careful Nature
- Superpower (Grass)
- Knock Off
- Defog
- Synthesis
Arrolladora (Lurantis) @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Contrary
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Superpower (Grass)
- Knock Off
- Defog
- Psycho Cut
This the dumbest but I love how Lurantis is a Pretty Good Mon™ now, like maybe even RU