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Self-improvement thread

Finland

choo choo i am train
is a Top Social Media Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributoris a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
This is an interesting thread! Too bad no response thus far; figure it's a bit hard for people talk about themselves in this way, but i'll give it a shot!

As far as good traits, i like to think i'm sincere, good-natured, fun-loving, flexible, and with a good head for strategizing, analyzing, and naturally quickly getting hard ideas. I'm careful, calm, adaptable, humble, and not judgmental. and i'm sometimes a hard worker. I'm a clear introvert but can do really well around people if i get my feet set. I'm willing to hear almost anything out if it's serious and not mean-spirited. I'm able to put emotion aside to make the tough choice but also willing to lean into emotion.

Isn't that a lot of good traits to list, especially if humble is one of them? I get it. The missing piece, and my biggest weakness, is my inability to make the most of them or get control over them. That's inevitable when flexible is in the list, and not fully a bad thing; being too sincere, fun-loving, etc. can get you into trouble, and trying to fully control your emotions from up top is not good! But I've always had the lingering understand I'm less than the sum of my parts, with the tendency to "float around" so to speak, and that's only started to change relatively recently after long stretches of focused effort. Some other weaknesses are doing "long periods of focused effort" in general (even my recent one is more on-and-off), smaller-scale tactical thinking, social situations where I don't get my feet set, and physical stamina / handwork.

Enough just talking about myself; how do I try and get better? I find things I care about or that emotionally affect me and try to change myself in context of that. It can be anything from a person I admire to a song I like. Guess I took "follow your heart" a bit literally :psyglad:
 
This is an interesting thread! Too bad no response thus far; figure it's a bit hard for people talk about themselves in this way, but i'll give it a shot!

As far as good traits, i like to think i'm sincere, good-natured, fun-loving, flexible, and with a good head for strategizing, analyzing, and naturally quickly getting hard ideas. I'm careful, calm, adaptable, humble, and not judgmental. and i'm sometimes a hard worker. I'm a clear introvert but can do really well around people if i get my feet set. I'm willing to hear almost anything out if it's serious and not mean-spirited. I'm able to put emotion aside to make the tough choice but also willing to lean into emotion.

Isn't that a lot of good traits to list, especially if humble is one of them? I get it. The missing piece, and my biggest weakness, is my inability to make the most of them or get control over them. That's inevitable when flexible is in the list, and not fully a bad thing; being too sincere, fun-loving, etc. can get you into trouble, and trying to fully control your emotions from up top is not good! But I've always had the lingering understand I'm less than the sum of my parts, with the tendency to "float around" so to speak, and that's only started to change relatively recently after long stretches of focused effort. Some other weaknesses are doing "long periods of focused effort" in general (even my recent one is more on-and-off), smaller-scale tactical thinking, social situations where I don't get my feet set, and physical stamina / handwork.

Enough just talking about myself; how do I try and get better? I find things I care about or that emotionally affect me and try to change myself in context of that. It can be anything from a person I admire to a song I like. Guess I took "follow your heart" a bit literally :psyglad:
Thanks so much for replying. I believe you will be able to improve as you set aside your pride to explain where your flaws are which is a step in the right direction. Understanding our flaws helps us become better people I have no doubt in my mind you will find the patience and instill control in your strong emotions. Best of luck!
 

Ninahaza

You'll always be a part of me
is a Forum Moderator Alumnus
This is an interesting thread!
I agree with Finland wholeheartedly.

Here's to hoping this thread gets more traction.

As for me, for now i'll just say that the biggest area in my life that needs improving is that of discipline. Self discipline to be more exact.

For example: i have laundry that was supposed to be done 2 days ago. Man that's just sad to even type out. Alright brb, gonna go do laundry now.
 

May

Never been better.
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnus
Self-improvement is an interesting thing in that there's no right or wrong way to do it; the only limiter is, well, yourself. I've always had the mindset of "follow your own path with your own set of rules" for this, which is what my late father used to rant to me about, and he'd be right. He certainly had a lot of quotes that I think about to this day...

In terms of strengths, I like my quick thinking and motivation. I'm capable of coming up with plans to handle things extremely quickly, oftentimes without much help. This is boosted by my productivity, which comes from a sheer passion for anything I do. If I do something, I'll make sure it's done to the best of my ability within a good time frame, no matter what. This comes into my work ethic, which I've only recently come to believe is positive. While it's very compulsive and arguably "too much" at times, I've got enough coping mechanisms and just the right sleep schedule to sustain it properly without hurting myself. I wouldn't recommend it to most, though. I hold an adamant belief that if someone wants to do something, so long as it is morally right, they should get every opportunity to do so. I also believe that the most staple human being is one who's very self-aware and has a good understanding of what they can and cannot control. These beliefs are what propel me as a person.

I'm also my biggest critic, though. I'm not that great socially, often having issues with sarcasm and having low self-esteem. I also second guess myself to a painful degree, which is something you often see in my debate style. These issues culminate into making me associate with bad crowds or egotistical abusers too much, which has ended up hurting me quite a bit. I also tend to be kind to a fault, which has led to me being manipulated by covert narcissists more often than I would like to admit. Just this week, I've ended up having to cut a person out of my life that would just constantly drag me down with emotional blackmail whenever anything remotely good happened to me. However, when I try to put my guard up, I end up doing the opposite and hurting perfectly good people out of minority stress. I like to always assume good faith in people and help them reach their full potential, and I wouldn't give up that trait, even if it would make me rich or something. I prefer wearing my heart on my sleeve and accepting that flaw; I just feel more comfortable with it I guess.

I tend to introspect a lot, like, every day. This is probably my "best" trait, in that it's what led me to where I am today, being all philosophical and existential. I think it's greatly helped my previously awful mental health. Never be afraid to delve into your mind and just think about your mindset and what you want to do with yourself. Regardless of the outcome, you'll always come out understanding yourself better. There is no greater reward for anything than knowing yourself. If you forget yourself, you cease to exist. That's what makes memory loss so scary to me, I'd say.

There's probably more I could write, but that's what comes to mind right now.
 
I agree with Finland wholeheartedly.

Here's to hoping this thread gets more traction.

As for me, for now i'll just say that the biggest area in my life that needs improving is that of discipline. Self discipline to be more exact.

For example: i have laundry that was supposed to be done 2 days ago. Man that's just sad to even type out. Alright brb, gonna go do laundry now.
Haha completely relatable. I’m working on that myself. Thanks for the reply :)

Self-improvement is an interesting thing in that there's no right or wrong way to do it; the only limiter is, well, yourself. I've always had the mindset of "follow your own path with your own set of rules" for this, which is what my late father used to rant to me about, and he'd be right. He certainly had a lot of quotes that I think about to this day...

In terms of strengths, I like my quick thinking and motivation. I'm capable of coming up with plans to handle things extremely quickly, oftentimes without much help. This is boosted by my productivity, which comes from a sheer passion for anything I do. If I do something, I'll make sure it's done to the best of my ability within a good time frame, no matter what. This comes into my work ethic, which I've only recently come to believe is positive. While it's very compulsive and arguably "too much" at times, I've got enough coping mechanisms and just the right sleep schedule to sustain it properly without hurting myself. I wouldn't recommend it to most, though. I hold an adamant belief that if someone wants to do something, so long as it is morally right, they should get every opportunity to do so. I also believe that the most staple human being is one who's very self-aware and has a good understanding of what they can and cannot control. These beliefs are what propel me as a person.

I'm also my biggest critic, though. I'm not that great socially, often having issues with sarcasm and having low self-esteem. I also second guess myself to a painful degree, which is something you often see in my debate style. These issues culminate into making me associate with bad crowds or egotistical abusers too much, which has ended up hurting me quite a bit. I also tend to be kind to a fault, which has led to me being manipulated by covert narcissists more often than I would like to admit. Just this week, I've ended up having to cut a person out of my life that would just constantly drag me down with emotional blackmail whenever anything remotely good happened to me. However, when I try to put my guard up, I end up doing the opposite and hurting perfectly good people out of minority stress. I like to always assume good faith in people and help them reach their full potential, and I wouldn't give up that trait, even if it would make me rich or something. I prefer wearing my heart on my sleeve and accepting that flaw; I just feel more comfortable with it I guess.

I tend to introspect a lot, like, every day. This is probably my "best" trait, in that it's what led me to where I am today, being all philosophical and existential. I think it's greatly helped my previously awful mental health. Never be afraid to delve into your mind and just think about your mindset and what you want to do with yourself. Regardless of the outcome, you'll always come out understanding yourself better. There is no greater reward for anything than knowing yourself. If you forget yourself, you cease to exist. That's what makes memory loss so scary to me, I'd say.

There's probably more I could write, but that's what comes to mind right now.
Well written my friend. You are absolutely correct sometimes separating yourself from certain people will ultimately lead to your growth. I wish you a happy healthy mind and you will find that growth to be the best version of oneself. Thanks for the reply :)
 
What are your strengths and good traits as a person? What is your undesirable traits how do you feel you can improve as a person?
Unfortunately, my good traits and bad traits (that I’m most concerned with) somehow both have to do with work ethic. I believe that if I set my mind on something, I have the ability to see it through and perceiver, yet at the same time I often fail to meet the goals I set for myself in regards to completing tasks. So, any tips to start myself on a more regulated schedule?
 
Unfortunately, my good traits and bad traits (that I’m most concerned with) somehow both have to do with work ethic. I believe that if I set my mind on something, I have the ability to see it through and perceiver, yet at the same time I often fail to meet the goals I set for myself in regards to completing tasks. So, any tips to start myself on a more regulated schedule?
I been struggling too but the easy way out it I think is to plan your day out if you have any important activities put a reminder in your phone or go as basic as having a planner. I ask myself at the end of the day if I was productive or not that also helps. This is slowly increasing my productivity. I hope that helped thanks for the reply good luck!
 
Nice thread!

Strengths would be inter-personal skills, I can make friends with someone I met within a very short time and tend to "make the atmosphere comfortable for everyone" whatever that means. I am good at listening to others (I need this alot in my job as Middle management in a high school).

I would definitely say that I could be more organized, I tend to just do every single thing in life spontaneously and there is almost no structure to anything I do. Also, apart from teaching (which I am maybe too passionate about and spend unhealthy amounts of time improving my teaching skillset and helping students outside of school hours) I tend to just give up half way with anything else I do, whether it is a difficult Pokémon tournament match, learning a new language or skill etc. I just tend to lose focus and just move onto something else haha.
 
Nice thread!

Strengths would be inter-personal skills, I can make friends with someone I met within a very short time and tend to "make the atmosphere comfortable for everyone" whatever that means. I am good at listening to others (I need this alot in my job as Middle management in a high school).

I would definitely say that I could be more organized, I tend to just do every single thing in life spontaneously and there is almost no structure to anything I do. Also, apart from teaching (which I am maybe too passionate about and spend unhealthy amounts of time improving my teaching skillset and helping students outside of school hours) I tend to just give up half way with anything else I do, whether it is a difficult Pokémon tournament match, learning a new language or skill etc. I just tend to lose focus and just move onto something else haha.
oh yeah we can all relate to an extent. Next time go all the way through even though it feels like in that moment you won’t suceed. I can say personally I had many moments I was ready to give up but I just continued be persistent And the odds turned in my favor yes including mons as well lmao. Thanks for your reply. Best of luck !
 

Katy

Banned deucer.
I just tend to lose focus and just move onto something else haha.
Oh THIS is totally relatable. I tend to lose focus too all too often. I jump from one topic to another, 'trying myself out' basically. I don't know what I am good at also, so I just jump from one point to another, to figure out my strengths and weaknesses. I hope you'll find a way to improve that part and you will settle a little bit in your future :)

Regarding my own strength and weaknesses:
I don't exactly know what I am good at and If I am good at something, although I think I am good at listenting to other peoples issues, and I am always here fro friends, whenever they need me, even if it does mean i neglect myself (which should not be done tho, that could count as a weakness, perhaps?) but in overall, I just try my best to be a good friend.

I have too many weaknesses so writing about them would fullfill an entire book of a multitude of pages lmao. But to put it basically, as Plague von Karma said above, lof self-esteem, low confidence, such things are still a huge issue for me, but I hope with a therapy session I can get that figured out in some way and either learn how to compensate that or how to live with it in an easier way. Maybe I am even able to get rid off it entirely, I still work hard on it, and I hope I can achieve this goal one day.

I hope you do not define yourself over all the weaknesses you have because i honestly and sincerely believe some tiny flaws and 'mistakes' or 'weaknesses' make us unique, they set us apart, and make us who we are. As long as it isn't too much of an issue or no issue at all, it should be okay to be that way. I hope everyone here has a great day! <3
 
Oh THIS is totally relatable. I tend to lose focus too all too often. I jump from one topic to another, 'trying myself out' basically. I don't know what I am good at also, so I just jump from one point to another, to figure out my strengths and weaknesses. I hope you'll find a way to improve that part and you will settle a little bit in your future :)

Regarding my own strength and weaknesses:
I don't exactly know what I am good at and If I am good at something, although I think I am good at listenting to other peoples issues, and I am always here fro friends, whenever they need me, even if it does mean i neglect myself (which should not be done tho, that could count as a weakness, perhaps?) but in overall, I just try my best to be a good friend.

I have too many weaknesses so writing about them would fullfill an entire book of a multitude of pages lmao. But to put it basically, as Plague von Karma said above, lof self-esteem, low confidence, such things are still a huge issue for me, but I hope with a therapy session I can get that figured out in some way and either learn how to compensate that or how to live with it in an easier way. Maybe I am even able to get rid off it entirely, I still work hard on it, and I hope I can achieve this goal one day.

I hope you do not define yourself over all the weaknesses you have because i honestly and sincerely believe some tiny flaws and 'mistakes' or 'weaknesses' make us unique, they set us apart, and make us who we are. As long as it isn't too much of an issue or no issue at all, it should be okay to be that way. I hope everyone here has a great day! <3
Great reply Katy. Yes absolutely it’s ok to have flaws when they aren’t doing great harm to us mentally agreed 100%. Also having a caring heart is great just make sure you have enough care left for yourself and that won’t be an issue. Continue to seek help one day you’ll overcome your greatest weakness. Thanks so much for your reply Goodluck :)!
 

Dorron

Magic!
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I must agree with Finland too, this is a pretty interesting thread which I wished it had more replies. Talking about what you think your own strengths and flaws are is a good way to become more aware about you. Finding a trustable person in your life who you can talk with about this is also very important I think, as you will help each other with finding these strengths and flaws to make yourselves better people overall.

For my strengths, I'd say I am a good listener, a very honest person, friendly, patient, adaptable and easy to work with. Moreover, I'd say I don't usually get flinched nor nervous in problematic situations, have a great vocabulary in my first language (and aiming to do so in English!), I am able to be completely impartial in most situations, I really enjoy helping people in areas I dominate (like helping my friends with maths at school or any of the people here with anything they needed) and I always try to make everyone feel included in the group/class/community/whatever is is called in general.

About my flaws... There are none. I am a superior being who has reached perfection overall. Ok just kidding I am not Fernando Alonso.
I'd say I might be too honest occasionally (but have improved this a lot), I really detest when people don't do well things that I know they can do it well but they just don't want (for example, a friend has a difficulty doing something stupid, but I know they have that difficulty and they try their best, so I wouldn't get mad), I tend to procrastinate things that are not essential but I should do and sometimes have difficulties to know what's the expected reaction to some situations. There are others for sure, but I don't want to talk about theme and mainly I don't find the words to.

Remember that Smogon is a great community in which a lot of people, including me, will help you with no doubt. You can talk to your family and friends to help you to become a better person, I am sure they will!
 
I must agree with Finland too, this is a pretty interesting thread which I wished it had more replies. Talking about what you think your own strengths and flaws are is a good way to become more aware about you. Finding a trustable person in your life who you can talk with about this is also very important I think, as you will help each other with finding these strengths and flaws to make yourselves better people overall.

For my strengths, I'd say I am a good listener, a very honest person, friendly, patient, adaptable and easy to work with. Moreover, I'd say I don't usually get flinched nor nervous in problematic situations, have a great vocabulary in my first language (and aiming to do so in English!), I am able to be completely impartial in most situations, I really enjoy helping people in areas I dominate (like helping my friends with maths at school or any of the people here with anything they needed) and I always try to make everyone feel included in the group/class/community/whatever is is called in general.

About my flaws... There are none. I am a superior being who has reached perfection overall. Ok just kidding I am not Fernando Alonso.
I'd say I might be too honest occasionally (but have improved this a lot), I really detest when people don't do well things that I know they can do it well but they just don't want (for example, a friend has a difficulty doing something stupid, but I know they have that difficulty and they try their best, so I wouldn't get mad), I tend to procrastinate things that are not essential but I should do and sometimes have difficulties to know what's the expected reaction to some situations. There are others for sure, but I don't want to talk about theme and mainly I don't find the words to.

Remember that Smogon is a great community in which a lot of people, including me, will help you with no doubt. You can talk to your family and friends to help you to become a better person, I am sure they will!
Great post my friend keep at it I’m working on procrastination too. You not alone lol. Anyways thanks for the post!
 
My strengths? I never lie about liking someone. I lie a lot but if I say I like someone (whether it be friend, relationship, etc) it's 100% the truth. I also try to be kindhearted and considerate, no matter what's happening to me.

Weaknesses? I'll make a bullet list
  • I have social anxiety. I can barely talk to my friends so making new friends as well is extremely difficult. I've got low self esteem and self confidence.
  • I'm not good at paying attention at all. I get lost in my thoughts easily and can kinda just drift off without knowing.

  • The worst one. I deal with heavy intrusive thoughts. For the past year I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts of one variety or another. It hits extremely hard and cripples my life. I haven't talked to my online friends or visited twitter in like 4 months because of this recent bout. I'm pretty sure I have OCD. The obsession in this case would be the intrusive thoughts, and the compulsions would be trying to "fix" or "correct" those thoughts. Try to prove them wrong. But in reality, trying to prove them wrong only becomes a new obsession, and so on and so forth. It's really painful and I have no idea how to fix it. Doesn't help that it's extremely hard for me to put in the energy to fix stuff. I'm also sure (but less sure) that I might have ADD.
 
My strengths? I never lie about liking someone. I lie a lot but if I say I like someone (whether it be friend, relationship, etc) it's 100% the truth. I also try to be kindhearted and considerate, no matter what's happening to me.

Weaknesses? I'll make a bullet list
  • I have social anxiety. I can barely talk to my friends so making new friends as well is extremely difficult. I've got low self esteem and self confidence.
  • I'm not good at paying attention at all. I get lost in my thoughts easily and can kinda just drift off without knowing.

  • The worst one. I deal with heavy intrusive thoughts. For the past year I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts of one variety or another. It hits extremely hard and cripples my life. I haven't talked to my online friends or visited twitter in like 4 months because of this recent bout. I'm pretty sure I have OCD. The obsession in this case would be the intrusive thoughts, and the compulsions would be trying to "fix" or "correct" those thoughts. Try to prove them wrong. But in reality, trying to prove them wrong only becomes a new obsession, and so on and so forth. It's really painful and I have no idea how to fix it. Doesn't help that it's extremely hard for me to put in the energy to fix stuff. I'm also sure (but less sure) that I might have ADD.
I honestly feel some of this to an extent. I’m sorry but I believe you will do it because the fact that you have it in mind and saying “ I will”. I appreciate your response much love
 
I honestly feel some of this to an extent. I’m sorry but I believe you will do it because the fact that you have it in mind and saying “ I will”. I appreciate your response much love
Thanks. I hope I can visit someone when I turn 18. I don't think my mom will let me do therapy for anything.

I also took an Asperger's test because I saw that some of the symptoms also applied to how I'm feeling to an extent (namely socialization issues and difficulty in creating pictures in my mind, although nothing about intrusive thoughts) and got a 37/50 there. So yeah, I really need to see a counselor or doctor so I can be sure if I have any of these or not
 
Thanks. I hope I can visit someone when I turn 18. I don't think my mom will let me do therapy for anything.

I also took an Asperger's test because I saw that some of the symptoms also applied to how I'm feeling to an extent (namely socialization issues and difficulty in creating pictures in my mind, although nothing about intrusive thoughts) and got a 37/50 there. So yeah, I really need to see a counselor or doctor so I can be sure if I have any of these or not
For sure go for it! Mental health is #1
 
For sure go for it! Mental health is #1
Only problem is I can't necessarily go for it because of my mom cockblocking me. I turn 18 in 14 days so hopefully I can leverage that against her if she objects. She's not against therapy by any means, I just don't think she'd let me go because "there's nothing wrong with me."

That said I did convince her to let me ask my doctor about ADD on our next visit. I'm a cancer survivor so I have to do check ups every now and then so I'll take that opportunity to ask about that atleast
 
Only problem is I can't necessarily go for it because of my mom cockblocking me. I turn 18 in 14 days so hopefully I can leverage that against her if she objects. She's not against therapy by any means, I just don't think she'd let me go because "there's nothing wrong with me."

That said I did convince her to let me ask my doctor about ADD on our next visit. I'm a cancer survivor so I have to do check ups every now and then so I'll take that opportunity to ask about that atleast
Really wish your mom would see why get checked up on is important but hey. You will now be 18 so you are free to make your choices without her interference.
 
Really wish your mom would see why get checked up on is important but hey. You will now be 18 so you are free to make your choices without her interference.
I certainly hope so. It might be difficult considering I live in America and I'm not sure how hard it'll be to get a diagnosis on my own, especially since I don't have a job yet (I wanted to get one but Cancer and Covid set me back a few years)
 
What are your strengths and good traits as a person? What are your undesirable traits? How do you feel you can improve as a person?
Severely underrated thread idea that I will keep alive myself if I have to, because you, my good friend, are doing a great deed by providing others with this sort of social outlet. I'd also love to help anyone else in this thread who needs help just to take some of that burden off. Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 2 said it best: "Smiles go for miles!"

My Strengths: Conveying my thoughts & feelings into words for others to understand (especially in written form), (trying to) see the good side in everything, using weaknesses to my advantage, and being able to learn from the past all come to mind. Even if it's not exactly a healthy habit to develop, I'm able to multi-task pretty well when I absolutely need to. Finally, I have pretty strong senses and reaction time to various visual and audial stimuli, the latter of which might explain why I'm so good at Mario Kart.

Good Traits: I am very compassionate for others and hard working in most situations I find myself in. I set a great example for other people with developmental disabilities, and I'm extremely proficient with both my writing and my speech alike. The general consensus is that I've always had a bit of an "old soul", so to speak, and likely in part due to this factor, I've gotten along with people older than myself much easier than others in my generation.

Undesired Traits: That list of Good Traits is purely stuff other people have told me in the past multiple times over, but despite that I find myself in denial of my full potential at any given moment. As early as even before my autism spectrum diagnosis at the age of 2, I have enabled fear and guilt to control huge areas of my life, which didn't affect me that much during childhood but now as a 19 year old college kid, I'm starting to feel the full effects of. Suffice to say, it's... not a pretty sight. I want to believe that I can help others instead of "be the helped" for a change, but as I get older it gets harder and harder to believe that.

Thanks. I hope I can visit someone when I turn 18. I don't think my mom will let me do therapy for anything.

I also took an Asperger's test because I saw that some of the symptoms also applied to how I'm feeling to an extent (namely socialization issues and difficulty in creating pictures in my mind, although nothing about intrusive thoughts) and got a 37/50 there. So yeah, I really need to see a counselor or doctor so I can be sure if I have any of these or not.
Only problem is I can't necessarily go for it because of my mom cockblocking me. I turn 18 in 14 days so hopefully I can leverage that against her if she objects. She's not against therapy by any means, I just don't think she'd let me go because "there's nothing wrong with me."

That said I did convince her to let me ask my doctor about ADD on our next visit. I'm a cancer survivor so I have to do check ups every now and then so I'll take that opportunity to ask about that at least.
I hope you don't mind if I reply to both of these messages at once because they're basically about the same topics. I'm far from the level of my career interest I would like to be at, and certainly don't have the credentials to be giving out diagnoses at this point. That being said, your situation really fascinates me for some reason. Sure, that's probably because I myself am who I've referred to as "one of us" in this regard, but I truly think there's nothing wrong with your wish to discover your neurodiverse background. I'd even go as far as to consider this a case of parental censorship if I really wanted to, but this isn't the thread for that.

What may actually be the case here is that people like you and I, regardless of what diagnoses you may receive, are the kind of person who succumb to fear because you're afraid of feeling like you messed up in front of or possibly disobeyed of a loved one. I'd like to respect your privacy enough to not ask about your current family and living situations. With that in mind, your mother needs to start to think about this kind of stuff. You should have turned 18 by the time I found these posts of yours (happy belated birthday by the way), meaning that you're going to hopefully leave the nest sooner or later if you haven't already. It never hurts to get the opinion of experts in the field.

On the much more optimistic side, I'd like to congratulate you for making through whatever history you had with cancer in the past. I may not understand it myself, as a man can only understand things he has personal experience with, but I'm sure that it was hard for you at times. You must have felt completely hopeless at times, but think of life this way: if you can get over that, how much else do you have to potential to deal with?
 
I hope you don't mind if I reply to both of these messages at once because they're basically about the same topics. I'm far from the level of my career interest I would like to be at, and certainly don't have the credentials to be giving out diagnoses at this point. That being said, your situation really fascinates me for some reason. Sure, that's probably because I myself am who I've referred to as "one of us" in this regard, but I truly think there's nothing wrong with your wish to discover your neurodiverse background. I'd even go as far as to consider this a case of parental censorship if I really wanted to, but this isn't the thread for that.

What may actually be the case here is that people like you and I, regardless of what diagnoses you may receive, are the kind of person who succumb to fear because you're afraid of feeling like you messed up in front of or possibly disobeyed of a loved one. I'd like to respect your privacy enough to not ask about your current family and living situations. With that in mind, your mother needs to start to think about this kind of stuff. You should have turned 18 by the time I found these posts of yours (happy belated birthday by the way), meaning that you're going to hopefully leave the nest sooner or later if you haven't already. It never hurts to get the opinion of experts in the field.

On the much more optimistic side, I'd like to congratulate you for making through whatever history you had with cancer in the past. I may not understand it myself, as a man can only understand things he has personal experience with, but I'm sure that it was hard for you at times. You must have felt completely hopeless at times, but think of life this way: if you can get over that, how much else do you have to potential to deal with?
Thank you for the belated birthday. Despite my new "freedoms" I don't think I'll be moving out soon. I'm still 2 years behind on my development because of cancer and then a year of isolation from Covid. I don't even have a driver's license yet. I don't expect me to be moving out soon unless it's for college.

That last line is very nice and thoughtful, but I've always been way worse with mental stuff than physical. I'd argue the lasting effects of the cancer was probably the mental effect it had on me. I couldn't describe it but I'll just say since I finished in January 2020 I've felt 0 effects from cancer or chemo compared to potential mental issues the ordeal left on me.

I'm not ruling out neurodivergence yet, but I think OCD is much, much more likely, to the point where I almost feel comfortable self-diagnosing myself with it due to how much it fits with some of my experiences with intrusive thoughts. I'd say I'm more of a Pure "O" type however, I don't have any clear cut compulsions like other people I've seen, aside from just trying to avoid the thoughts and what triggers them.

On the bright side I did convince my mom to let me get tested for ADHD. I've started thinking that's also less likely but it would, like OCD, explain a good deal about me and my past experiences, although it's not as severe as what I think could be the OCD.

There is a quote that explains what I'm going through perfectly: "Intrusive thoughts latch on to the things that are important to you. For example, I adore animals, if the idea popped into my head that I could harm an animal, this would certainly grab my attention, as it would shake my values to their core and cause me untold amounts of anxiety."

E: I have noticed a theme with most of my thoughts (although I don't think it applies to all of them): It starts with me being confused about something, then I obsessively try to figure that thing out, only for me to not figure it out immediately/get more confused, and then obsessively question my knowledge on the subject until I eventually fall into a depression, mostly trying to avoid the thoughts but still desperately trying to "solve them"
 
I certainly hope so. It might be difficult considering I live in America and I'm not sure how hard it'll be to get a diagnosis on my own, especially since I don't have a job yet (I wanted to get one but Cancer and Covid set me back a few years)
I’m sorry haven’t been on here much. As soon as you are able prioritize that as mental health is very important. I believe you can do it.happy belated also!
 
Severely underrated thread idea that I will keep alive myself if I have to, because you, my good friend, are doing a great deed by providing others with this sort of social outlet. I'd also love to help anyone else in this thread who needs help just to take some of that burden off. Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 2 said it best: "Smiles go for miles!"

My Strengths: Conveying my thoughts & feelings into words for others to understand (especially in written form), (trying to) see the good side in everything, using weaknesses to my advantage, and being able to learn from the past all come to mind. Even if it's not exactly a healthy habit to develop, I'm able to multi-task pretty well when I absolutely need to. Finally, I have pretty strong senses and reaction time to various visual and audial stimuli, the latter of which might explain why I'm so good at Mario Kart.

Good Traits: I am very compassionate for others and hard working in most situations I find myself in. I set a great example for other people with developmental disabilities, and I'm extremely proficient with both my writing and my speech alike. The general consensus is that I've always had a bit of an "old soul", so to speak, and likely in part due to this factor, I've gotten along with people older than myself much easier than others in my generation.

Undesired Traits: That list of Good Traits is purely stuff other people have told me in the past multiple times over, but despite that I find myself in denial of my full potential at any given moment. As early as even before my autism spectrum diagnosis at the age of 2, I have enabled fear and guilt to control huge areas of my life, which didn't affect me that much during childhood but now as a 19 year old college kid, I'm starting to feel the full effects of. Suffice to say, it's... not a pretty sight. I want to believe that I can help others instead of "be the helped" for a change, but as I get older it gets harder and harder to believe that.



I hope you don't mind if I reply to both of these messages at once because they're basically about the same topics. I'm far from the level of my career interest I would like to be at, and certainly don't have the credentials to be giving out diagnoses at this point. That being said, your situation really fascinates me for some reason. Sure, that's probably because I myself am who I've referred to as "one of us" in this regard, but I truly think there's nothing wrong with your wish to discover your neurodiverse background. I'd even go as far as to consider this a case of parental censorship if I really wanted to, but this isn't the thread for that.

What may actually be the case here is that people like you and I, regardless of what diagnoses you may receive, are the kind of person who succumb to fear because you're afraid of feeling like you messed up in front of or possibly disobeyed of a loved one. I'd like to respect your privacy enough to not ask about your current family and living situations. With that in mind, your mother needs to start to think about this kind of stuff. You should have turned 18 by the time I found these posts of yours (happy belated birthday by the way), meaning that you're going to hopefully leave the nest sooner or later if you haven't already. It never hurts to get the opinion of experts in the field.

On the much more optimistic side, I'd like to congratulate you for making through whatever history you had with cancer in the past. I may not understand it myself, as a man can only understand things he has personal experience with, but I'm sure that it was hard for you at times. You must have felt completely hopeless at times, but think of life this way: if you can get over that, how much else do you have to potential to deal with?
Thanks so much for this reply ! I see a lot of heart put into this response. Keep believing one day we gain the strength to overcome our challenges.
 

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