Shelmet [QC 1/2]

[-Howkings]

[OVERVIEW]
Shelmet has access to Spikes and Recover, letting it act as a bulky hazard setter that can check Fighting-types due to its typing. However, Ferroseed and Onix are better in this role because their typing is way more useful, and they have access to Stealth Rock as well, with Onix having also a better Speed. Mareanie and Foongus completely outclass Shelmet as bulky Fighting checks with access to a reliable source of recovery.

[SET]
name: Defensive Spikes Setter
move 1: Recover
move 2: Spikes
move 3: Bug Buzz
move 4: Yawn
item: Eviolite
ability: Overcoat
nature: Bold
evs: 116 HP / 156 Def / 236 SpD

[SET COMMENTS]
This set attempts to set Spikes as soon as possible, pressure the opposing team and punish every switch, keeping Shelmet healthy throughout the match with Recover. Yawn can be used to force a switch, maximizing damage from Spikes. However, Shelmet is fully outclassed, because of its bad defensive typing and weakness to Stealth Rock along with the presence of better defensive Pokémon like Ferroseed and Mareanie.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[-Howkings, 435971]]
- Quality checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>], [<username2>, <userid2>]]
- Grammar checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>]]

 

[Merritt]

This is not acceptable in its current state. Pseudo analyses need to be far more condensed in terms of length, get the overview down to 3 sentences maximum. You have a ton of restated information in there currently and even a full blown filler sentence, cut it down to size. Similarly, the set comments are far too long, cut that down to a similar size as the overview at most.

The set on this analysis needs to be redone. I would suggest refreshing on how Little Cup EVs work - the current spread is completely inefficient. There is also the technical issue of running a Calm nature on a set running only physical attacks. Regardless, after some talk with other people I believe the set should be changed entirely to the following:

[SET]
name: Defensive Spikes Setter
move 1: Recover
move 2: Spikes
move 3: Bug Buzz
move 4: Yawn
item: Eviolite
ability: Overcoat
nature: Bold
evs: 116 HP / 156 Def / 236 SpD

The goal of this set is fundamentally identical to the one currently there, however a special set is better than a physical one since it doesn't activate Weak Armor and Shelmet really doesn't desire the slight recovery of Leech Life. Toxic Spikes are incredibly bad - Yawn can at least force switches to help rack up slight Spikes damage even though it should rarely be clicked.

For the credits, you need only 2 QC and 1 GP for a pseudo.

Make the changes and then tag me to look this over again.

 

[-Howkings]

Yeah, my bad about the EV spread and nature and not having considered Yawn as a move, i didn't notice I had made a mistake, sorry.

Anyways, the changes are now implemented, both in the set and in the paragraphs, so let me know if it fits better now Merritt

 

[Merritt]

[OVERVIEW]
This is too detailed and tossing in a semicolon to replace the period isn't the way to reduce the length of the overview. The three thoughts you want here are: Shelmet has access to Spikes and Recover, letting it act as a bulky hazard setter that can check Fighting-types due to its typing. However, Ferroseed is a better hazard setter due to its more useful typing and access to Stealth Rock as well (you can also put in a mention of Onix as a Stealth Rock setter here if you feel it's important). A mention of Mareanie and Foongus as bulky Fighting-type checks with access to recovery can fit in the third sentence - Tspikes Mareanie is pretty mediocre.

[SET]
Good

[SET COMMENTS]
Again, this goes into too much detail, you absolutely don't need to cover every move on Shelmet's set. One sentence about what the set tries to do (basically what you have in the first sentence, but condensed slightly), one about why Shelmet's still a bad choice (extremely weak, bad defensive typing that only really helps for fighters and leaves it weak to stealth rock), then one more restating better alternatives (ferroseed as spikes setter, mareanie as bulky Pokemon with access to Recover).

[CREDITS]
You need a second closing bracket at the end of QC and GP, it should be ]], not a single ]

Because there's a lot of rewriting for the overview especially, tag me when you're done and I'll be able to stamp it then

 

[-Howkings]

I implemented everything, thanks for your check.

About the overview, i directly used your first sentence as a start because I think it fits really well, let me know if I can keep it or i have to change.

The other sentences are re-written by me. I reduced the length as requested. Merritt

 

[Merritt]

Just remove the extra line break before the [SET] and [SET COMMENTS] tags and give yourself 1/2