OU Stonjourner [QC 2/2] [GP 1/1]

[Lunaflare]

[SET]
name: Focus Sash
move 1: Stealth Rock
move 2: Stone Edge
move 3: Earthquake
move 4: Heat Crash
item: Focus Sash
ability: Power Spot
nature: Jolly
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
Unfortunately, Stonjourner does not have many options for a moveset; its coverage is pitiful, and its movepool is shallow. This moveset allows Stonjourner to function as a suicide lead. However, Stonjourner is completely outclassed by Mew and Excadrill in this role. Stone Edge is the STAB Rock-type move of choice, dealing massive damage to Fire-types such as Cinderace and Flying-types such as Mandibuzz. Earthquake is used to deal damage to Steel-types such as Bisharp, Aegislash, and Excadrill. Heat Crash takes advantage of Stonjourner's weight and hits Ferrothorn and Corviknight. Focus Sash is to be held; nearly guarantees you to set up Stealth Rock, as it allows Stonjourner to survive any hit.

Teammates that cover Stonjourner's weaknesses, such as Hawlucha and Rotom-W, are appreciated. Pokemon found on hyper offense teams such as Aegislash, Kommo-o, and Hawlucha also appreciate Stonjourner's ability to set up Stealth Rock to help soften the opposing team a bit.


[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Lunaflare,430518]]
- Quality checked by: [[Jordy,395754], [Mannat,144451]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Rabia, 336073]]

 

[Lunaflare]

I hope I did this right... stonjourner looks so weak and unviable based on what i typed lmao

QC time, I suppose. Is there anything I can improve?

 

[Jordy]

comments in purple things to remove in red

[SET]
name: Suicide Lead
move 1: Stealth Rock
move 2: Earthquake
move 3: Heat Crash
move 4: Stone Edge
item: Focus Sash
ability: Power Spot
nature: Adamant
evs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 4 Def

name: Focus Sash
move 1: Stealth Rock
move 2: Stone Edge
move 3: Earthquake
move 4: Heat Crash
item: Focus Sash
ability: Power Spot
nature: Jolly
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe

You want to run maximum Speed investment in order to outspeed Defoggers such as Mandibuzz and Corviknight. The order of Moves was bothering me so I changed it.

[SET COMMENTS]
This is lacking an introductory line to Stonjourner's niche. After adding that, you should mention how it's entirely outclassed by Excadrill and Mew as a suicide lead. Its movepool and all-around stats are also quite shallow. This moveset allows Stonjourner to function as a suicide lead. Stealth Rock is mandatory, allowing Stonjourner to set up entry hazards to pave the way for its teammates. Earthquake is used to deal damage to opposing Steel-types such as Excadrill, Aegislash, and Bisharp , Copperajah, and Duraludon, although it only has a small chance at OHKOing Bisharp while 2HKOing the others. Copperajah and Duraludon are not notable. Excadrill and Aegislash are actually prominent Steel-types that should be noted. Heat Crash takes advantage of Stonjourner's weight and hits Corviknight and Ferrothorn. These are the only 2 notable Pokemon that Heat Crash actually improves Stonjourner's matchup against. OHKOs Durant and Bisharp, while also hitting Corviknight, which is OHKO'd after Stealth Rock, and Bronzong. Stone Edge is the STAB Rock-type move of choice, dealing massive damage to Bug-types, Fire-types, and Flying-types. An example of each of these would be nice. Make sure to change the order of this to match with the new order on the moveset.

Unfortunately, Stonjourner does not have many other options. For one, it has pitiful coverage and a shallow movepool. Besides, what moves it does have are not the best either. Additionally, its poor Special Defense and Speed leave it prone to being killed before it can set up its entry hazards. This should all be mentioned in the first few sentences of the first paragraph that I want you to add. To prevent this, a Focus Sash is to be held; it leads to guaranteed hazards provided that Stealth Rock is the first move that you click. 252 Attack EVs are put in to deal as much damage possible, provided that you can attack in the first place. 252 points in HP bump up Stonjourner's HP to a whopping 404. Alternatively, you can switch around the EVs in HP and Defense. It's running maximum Speed investment in order to outspeed as many Defoggers as possible now. It should be fine to just connect this paragraph with the above paragraph.

Because it is a Rock-type, Stonjourner suffers from five weaknesses: Water, Steel, Ground, Fighting, and Grass. The fact that a Rock-type is weak to those Pokemon is common sense and shouldn't have to be pointed out in an analysis. Teammates that cover one or more of those types, such as Charizard or Hawlucha, are appreciated. Pause. Charizard is not viable in the slightest. Additionally, Hawlucha appreciates the Stealth Rock support, as do other sweepers such as Cinderace, Dragapult, and Barraskewda. None of these Pokemon are considered sweepers primarily. Pokemon that check Barraskewda, Inteleon, and other fast Water-types are appreciated as well; strong Grass or Electric-types such as Flapple, which can also check Ground-types, or Boltund will do the trick. Pause again. Those are not viable.

I have a big issue with your current Team Options. Almost all the Pokemon you mention are unviable. I think you should just mention Pokemon that are commonly run on hyper offense teams as teammates (Aegislash, Gyarados, Hawlucha, Kommo-o), because Stonjourner aims to act as a suicide lead.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Lunaflare]]
- Quality checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>], [<username2>, <userid2>]]
- Grammar checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>]]

This still needs a lot of work done. Let me know once all of this is implemented.

 

[Lunaflare]

comments in purple things to remove in red

This still needs a lot of work done. Let me know once all of this is implemented.

Done! Hopefully it looks better.

 

[Jordy]

comments in purple things to remove in red

[SET]
name: Focus Sash
move 1: Stealth Rock
move 2: Stone Edge
move 3: Earthquake
move 4: Heat Crash
item: Focus Sash
ability: Power Spot
nature: Jolly
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
Unfortunately, Stonjourner does not have many options for a moveset; its coverage is pitiful and its movepool is shallow. This moveset allows Stonjourner to function as a suicide lead. However, Stonjourner is completely outclassed by Mew and Excadrill with this role. Stealth Rock is mandatory, allowing Stonjourner to set up entry hazards to pave the way for its teammates. Earthquake is used to deal damage to Steel-types such as Bisharp, Aegislash, and Excadrill. Heat Crash takes advantage of Stonjourner's weight and hits Ferrothorn and Corviknight. Stone Edge is the STAB Rock-type move of choice, dealing massive damage to Fire-types such as Cinderace and Flying-types such as Butterfree Mandibuzz. Out of all the Flying-types, you picked Butterfree? Mandibuzz is far more relevant and actually important. The moves should be mentioned in this order Stone Edge -> Earthquake -> Heat Crash to match the order of the moves on the set.

Focus Sash is to be held; it leads to guaranteed hazards provided that Stealth Rock is the first move that you click. 252 Attack EVs are put in to deal as much damage possible, provided that you can attack in the first place. Maximum speed investment is run to outspeed Defoggers such as defensive Mew and Mandibuzz. Defensive Mew is not relevant due to its complete lack of good recovery.

Teammates that cover Stonjourner's weaknesses, such as Hawlucha and Rotom-W, are appreciated. Pokemon found on Hyper Offense teams such as Aegislash, Kommo-o, and the aforementioned Hawlucha also appreciate Stonjourner's ability to set up rocks to help soften the opposing team a bit.


[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Lunaflare]]
- Quality checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>], [<username2>, <userid2>]]
- Grammar checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>]]

Good job, 1/2.

 

[MANNAT]

[SET]
name: Focus Sash
move 1: Stealth Rock
move 2: Stone Edge
move 3: Earthquake
move 4: Heat Crash
item: Focus Sash
ability: Power Spot
nature: Jolly
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
Unfortunately, Stonjourner does not have many options for a moveset; its coverage is pitiful and its movepool is shallow. This moveset allows Stonjourner to function as a suicide lead. However, Stonjourner is completely outclassed by Mew and Excadrill with this role. Stone Edge is the STAB Rock-type move of choice, dealing massive damage to Fire-types such as Cinderace and Flying-types such as Mandibuzz. Earthquake is used to deal damage to Steel-types such as Bisharp, Aegislash, and Excadrill. Heat Crash takes advantage of Stonjourner's weight and hits Ferrothorn and Corviknight. (remove indent, the sentence about the set details doesn't deserve its own paragraph)Focus Sash is to be held; it leads to guaranteed hazards provided that allows you to set up near-guaranteed Stealth Rock, as it allows Stonjourney to live any hit. is the first move that you click. 252 Attack EVs are put in to deal as much damage possible, provided that you can attack in the first place. Maximum speed investment is run to outspeed Defoggers such as Mandibuzz (you don't need to state what max/max ev spreads do in analyses and i cut some of the fat in the first part). (remove indent for the same reason as before) Teammates that cover Stonjourner's weaknesses, such as Hawlucha and Rotom-W, are appreciated. Pokemon found on Hyper Offense teams such as Aegislash, Kommo-o, and the aforementioned Hawlucha also appreciate Stonjourner's ability to set up rocks to help soften the opposing team a bit.


[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Lunaflare,430518]]
- Quality checked by: [[Jordy, 395754], [<username2>, <userid2>]]
- Grammar checked by: [[<username1>, <userid1>]]

QC 2/2

 

[Rabia]

add
remove
comments

gp

[SET]
name: Focus Sash
move 1: Stealth Rock
move 2: Stone Edge
move 3: Earthquake
move 4: Heat Crash
item: Focus Sash
ability: Power Spot
nature: Jolly
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
Unfortunately, Stonjourner does not have many options for a moveset; its coverage is pitiful,(AC) and its movepool is shallow. This moveset allows Stonjourner to function as a suicide lead. However, Stonjourner is completely outclassed by Mew and Excadrill with in this role. Stone Edge is the STAB Rock-type move of choice, dealing massive damage to Fire-types such as Cinderace and Flying-types such as Mandibuzz. Earthquake is used to deal damage to Steel-types such as Bisharp, Aegislash, and Excadrill. Heat Crash takes advantage of Stonjourner's weight and hits Ferrothorn and Corviknight. Focus Sash is to be held; it allows you to set up near guaranteed stealth rocks nearly guarantees you to set Stealth Rock (awkward phrasing), as it allows Stonjourner to survive any hit.

Teammates that cover Stonjourner's weaknesses, such as Hawlucha and Rotom-W, are appreciated. Pokemon found on Hyper Offense hyper offense teams such as Aegislash, Kommo-o, and the aforementioned Hawlucha also appreciate Stonjourner's ability to set up rocks Stealth Rock to help soften the opposing team a bit.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Lunaflare, 430518]]
- Quality checked by: [[Jordy, 395754], [Mannat, 144451]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Rabia, 336073]]

gp 1/1 once done

 

[Lunaflare]

Thank you to everyone who gave feedback. Done!