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Survivor Stupid Survivor: Season One FINAL TRIBAL COUNCIL
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jalmont shots at tribe ahley s from something
HAL is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day and he was buying adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said "they help contain my full power so I don't completely shit on these kids". And then he sent the changed his discord role to get out the door.
HAL is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day and he was buying adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said "they help contain my full power so I don't completely shit on these kids". And then he sent the changed his discord role to get out the door.
History[edit]
Origins[edit]
The term "cut and paste" comes from the traditional practice in manuscript-editings whereby people would cut paragraphs from a page with scissors and paste them onto another page. This practice remained standard into the 1980s. Stationery stores formerly sold "editing scissors" with blades long enough to cut an 8½"-wide page. The advent of photocopiers made the practice easier and more flexible.
The act of copying/transferring text from one part of a computer-based document ("buffer") to a different location within the same or different computer-based document was a part of the earliest on-line computer editors. As soon as computer data entry moved from punch-cards to online files (in the mid/late 1960s) there were "commands" for accomplishing this operation. This mechanism was often used to transfer frequently-used commands or text snippets from additional buffers into the document, as was the case with the QED text editor.[2]
Early methods[edit]
The earliest editors (designed for teleprinter terminals) provided keyboard commands to delineate a contiguous region of text, then delete or move it. Since moving a region of text requires first removing it from its initial location and then inserting it into its new location, various schemes had to be invented to allow for this multi-step process to be specified by the user. Often this was done with a "move" command, but some text editors required that the text be first put into some temporary location for later retrieval/placement. In 1983, the Apple Lisa became the first text editing system to call that temporary location "the clipboard".
Earlier control schemes such as NLS used a verb—object command structure, where the command name was provided first and the object to be copied or moved was second. The inversion from verb—object to object—verb on which copy and paste are based, where the user selects the object to be operated before initiating the operation, was an innovation crucial for the success of the desktop metaphor as it allowed copy and move operations based on direct manipulation.[3]
Many command line text editors, which predate their more popular GUI equivalents, including: ed, emacs, sed, and vi, have copy-paste features.
Popularization[edit]
Inspired by early line and character editors that broke a move or copy operation into two steps—between which the user could invoke a preparatory action such as navigation—Lawrence G. "Larry" Tesler proposed the names "cut" and "copy" for the first step and "paste" for the second step. Beginning in 1974, he and colleagues at Xerox Corporation Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) implemented several text editors that used cut/copy-and-paste commands to move/copy text.[4]
Apple Computer widely popularized the computer-based cut/copy-and-paste paradigm through the Lisa (1983) and Macintosh (1984) operating systems and applications. Apple mapped the functionalities to key combinations consisting of the Command key (a special modifier key) held down while typing the letters X (for cut), C (for copy), and V (for paste), choosing a handful of keyboard shortcuts to control basic editing operations. The keys involved all cluster together at the left end of the bottom row of the standard QWERTY keyboard, and each key is combined with a special modifier key to perform the desired operation:
The IBM Common User Access (CUA) standard also uses combinations of the Insert, Del, Shift and Control keys. Early versions of Windows used the IBM standard. Microsoft later also adopted the Apple key combinations with the introduction of Windows, using the control key as modifier key. For users migrating to Windows from MS-DOS this was a big change as MS-DOS users used the "copy" and "move" commands.
Similar patterns of key combinations, later borrowed by others, remain widely available today in most GUI text editors, word processors, and file system browsers.
The original copy/cut/paste workflow, as implemented at PARC, utilized a unique workflow: With two windows on the same screen, the user could use the mouse to pick a point at which to make an insertion in one window (or a segment of text to replace). Then, by holding shift and selecting the copy source elsewhere on the same screen, the copy would be made as soon as the shift was released. Similarly, holding shift and control would copy and cut (delete) the source. This workflow requires many fewer keystrokes/mouse clicks than the current multi-step workflows, and did not require an explicit copy buffer. It was dropped, one presumes, because the original Apple and IBM GUIs were not high enough density to permit multiple windows, as were the PARC machines, and so multiple simultaneous windows were rarely used.
Cut and paste[edit]
The sequence diagram of cut and paste operation
Computer-based editing can involve very frequent use of cut-and-paste operations. Most software-suppliers provide several methods for performing such tasks, and this can involve (for example) key combinations, pulldown menus, pop-up menus, or toolbar buttons.
When a software environment provides cut and paste functionality, a nondestructive operation called copy usually accompanies them; copy places a copy of the selected text in the clipboard without removing it from its original location.
The clipboard usually stays invisible, because the operations of cutting and pasting, while actually independent, usually take place in quick succession, and the user (usually) needs no assistance in understanding the operation or maintaining mental context. Some application programs provide a means of viewing, or sometimes even editing, the data on the clipboard.
Copy and paste[edit]
Sequence diagram of the copy-paste operation
The term "copy-and-paste" refers to the popular, simple method of reproducing text or other data from a source to a destination. It differs from cut and paste in that the original source text or data does not get deleted or removed. The popularity of this method stems from its simplicity and the ease with which users can move data between various applications visually – without resorting to permanent storage.
Once one has copied data into the clipboard, one may paste the contents of the clipboard into a destination document.
The X Window System maintains an additional clipboard containing the most recently selected text; middle-clicking pastes the content of this "selection" clipboard into whatever the pointer is on at that time.
Most terminal emulators and some other applications support the key combinations Ctrl-Insert to copy and Shift-Insert to paste. This is in accordance with the IBM Common User Access (CUA) standard. For similar functionality in historical text-mode terminals in Unix systems such as Linux and FreeBSD, see GPM or moused.
Find and go[edit]
The NeXTStep operating system extended the concept of having a single copy buffer by adding a second system-wide Find buffer used for searching. The Find buffer is also available in macOS.
Text can be placed in the Find buffer by either using the Find panel or by selecting text and hitting ⌘+E.
The text can then be searched with Find Next ⌘+G and Find Previous ⌘+D.
The functionality comes in handy when for example editing source code. To find the occurrence of a variable or function name elsewhere in the file, simply select the name by double clicking, hit ⌘+E and then jump to the next or previous occurrence with ⌘+G / ⌘+D.
Note that this does not destroy your copy buffer as with other UIs like Windows or the X Window System.
Together with copy and paste this can be used for quick and easy replacement of repeated text:
The find buffer is system wide. That is, if you enter a text in the find panel (or with ⌘+E) in one application and then switch to another application you can immediately start searching without having to enter the search text again.
Common keyboard shortcuts[edit]
Copy and paste automation[edit]
Copying data one by one from one application to another, such as from Excel to a web form, might involve a lot of manual work. Copy and paste can be automated with the help of a program that would iterate through the values list and paste them to the active application window. Such programs might come in the form of macros or dedicated programs which involve more or less scripting. Alternatively, applications supporting simultaneous editing may be used to copy or move collections of items.
Additional differences between moving and copying[edit]
In a spreadsheet, moving (cut and paste) need not equate to copying (copy and paste) and then deleting the original: when moving, references to the moved cells may move accordingly.
Windows Explorer also differentiates moving from merely copy-and-delete: a "cut" file will not actually disappear until pasted elsewhere and cannot be pasted more than once. The icon fades to show the transient "cut" state until it is pasted somewhere. Cutting a second file while the first one is cut will release the first from the "cut" state and leave it unchanged. Shift+Delete cannot be used to cut files; instead it deletes them without using the Recycle bin.
Multiple clipboards[edit]
Several editors allow copying text into or pasting text from specific clipboards, typically using a special keystroke-sequence to specify a particular clipboard-number.
Clipboard managers can be very convenient productivity-enhancers by providing many more features than system-native clipboards. Thousands of clips from the clip history are available for future pasting, and can be searched, edited, or deleted. Favorite clips that a user frequently pastes (for example, the current date, or the various fields of a user's contact info) can be kept standing ready to be pasted with a few clicks or keystrokes.
Similarly, a kill ring provides a LIFO stack used for cut-and-paste operations as a type of clipboard capable of storing multiple pieces of data.[7] For example, the GNU Emacs text editor provides a kill ring.[8] Each time a user performs a cut or copy operation, the system adds the affected text to the ring. The user can then access the contents of a specific (relatively numbered) buffer in the ring when performing a subsequent paste-operation. One can also give kill-buffers individual names, thus providing another form of multiple-clipboard functionality.
Use in healthcare[edit]
Concerns exist over the use of copy and paste functions in healthcare documentation and electronic health records. There is potential for the introduction of errors, information overload, and fraud.[1][9]
Pejorative use of expression[edit]
Main article: Cut and paste job
An action can be described as "cut/copy-and-paste" in a pejorative sense, to mean that a person creating some item has, in fact, merely copied from a previously existing item. Examples may include film screenplays, books, and other creative endeavors that appear to "lift" their content substantially from existing sources, and papers submitted for examinations which are directly copied from other reference sources.[citation needed]
Use in software development[edit]
Copy and paste programming is an anti-pattern arising from the careless pasting of pre-existing code into another source code file. Shared interfaces ("abstract classes") with the same named methods should be exposed, and each module should subclass the interface to provide needed differences in functionality.
See also[edit]
Origins[edit]
The term "cut and paste" comes from the traditional practice in manuscript-editings whereby people would cut paragraphs from a page with scissors and paste them onto another page. This practice remained standard into the 1980s. Stationery stores formerly sold "editing scissors" with blades long enough to cut an 8½"-wide page. The advent of photocopiers made the practice easier and more flexible.
The act of copying/transferring text from one part of a computer-based document ("buffer") to a different location within the same or different computer-based document was a part of the earliest on-line computer editors. As soon as computer data entry moved from punch-cards to online files (in the mid/late 1960s) there were "commands" for accomplishing this operation. This mechanism was often used to transfer frequently-used commands or text snippets from additional buffers into the document, as was the case with the QED text editor.[2]
Early methods[edit]
The earliest editors (designed for teleprinter terminals) provided keyboard commands to delineate a contiguous region of text, then delete or move it. Since moving a region of text requires first removing it from its initial location and then inserting it into its new location, various schemes had to be invented to allow for this multi-step process to be specified by the user. Often this was done with a "move" command, but some text editors required that the text be first put into some temporary location for later retrieval/placement. In 1983, the Apple Lisa became the first text editing system to call that temporary location "the clipboard".
Earlier control schemes such as NLS used a verb—object command structure, where the command name was provided first and the object to be copied or moved was second. The inversion from verb—object to object—verb on which copy and paste are based, where the user selects the object to be operated before initiating the operation, was an innovation crucial for the success of the desktop metaphor as it allowed copy and move operations based on direct manipulation.[3]
Many command line text editors, which predate their more popular GUI equivalents, including: ed, emacs, sed, and vi, have copy-paste features.
Popularization[edit]
Inspired by early line and character editors that broke a move or copy operation into two steps—between which the user could invoke a preparatory action such as navigation—Lawrence G. "Larry" Tesler proposed the names "cut" and "copy" for the first step and "paste" for the second step. Beginning in 1974, he and colleagues at Xerox Corporation Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) implemented several text editors that used cut/copy-and-paste commands to move/copy text.[4]
Apple Computer widely popularized the computer-based cut/copy-and-paste paradigm through the Lisa (1983) and Macintosh (1984) operating systems and applications. Apple mapped the functionalities to key combinations consisting of the Command key (a special modifier key) held down while typing the letters X (for cut), C (for copy), and V (for paste), choosing a handful of keyboard shortcuts to control basic editing operations. The keys involved all cluster together at the left end of the bottom row of the standard QWERTY keyboard, and each key is combined with a special modifier key to perform the desired operation:
The IBM Common User Access (CUA) standard also uses combinations of the Insert, Del, Shift and Control keys. Early versions of Windows used the IBM standard. Microsoft later also adopted the Apple key combinations with the introduction of Windows, using the control key as modifier key. For users migrating to Windows from MS-DOS this was a big change as MS-DOS users used the "copy" and "move" commands.
Similar patterns of key combinations, later borrowed by others, remain widely available today in most GUI text editors, word processors, and file system browsers.
The original copy/cut/paste workflow, as implemented at PARC, utilized a unique workflow: With two windows on the same screen, the user could use the mouse to pick a point at which to make an insertion in one window (or a segment of text to replace). Then, by holding shift and selecting the copy source elsewhere on the same screen, the copy would be made as soon as the shift was released. Similarly, holding shift and control would copy and cut (delete) the source. This workflow requires many fewer keystrokes/mouse clicks than the current multi-step workflows, and did not require an explicit copy buffer. It was dropped, one presumes, because the original Apple and IBM GUIs were not high enough density to permit multiple windows, as were the PARC machines, and so multiple simultaneous windows were rarely used.
Cut and paste[edit]
The sequence diagram of cut and paste operation
Computer-based editing can involve very frequent use of cut-and-paste operations. Most software-suppliers provide several methods for performing such tasks, and this can involve (for example) key combinations, pulldown menus, pop-up menus, or toolbar buttons.
- The user selects or "highlights" the text or file for moving by some method, typically by dragging over the text or file name with the pointing-device or holding down the Shift key while using the arrow keys to move the text cursor.
- The user performs a "cut" operation via key combination Ctrl+x (⌘+x for Macintosh users), menu, or other means.
- Visibly, "cut" text immediately disappears from its location. "Cut" files typically change color to indicate that they will be moved.
- Conceptually, the text has now moved to a location often called the clipboard. The clipboard typically remains invisible. On most systems only one clipboard location exists, hence another cut or copy operation overwrites the previously stored information. Many UNIX text-editors provide multiple clipboard entries, as do some Macintosh programs such as Clipboard Master,[5] and Windows clipboard-manager programs such as the one in Microsoft Office.
- The user selects a location for insertion by some method, typically by clicking at the desired insertion point.
- A paste operation takes place which visibly inserts the clipboard text at the insertion point. (The paste operation does not typically destroy the clipboard text: it remains available in the clipboard and the user can insert additional copies at other points).
When a software environment provides cut and paste functionality, a nondestructive operation called copy usually accompanies them; copy places a copy of the selected text in the clipboard without removing it from its original location.
The clipboard usually stays invisible, because the operations of cutting and pasting, while actually independent, usually take place in quick succession, and the user (usually) needs no assistance in understanding the operation or maintaining mental context. Some application programs provide a means of viewing, or sometimes even editing, the data on the clipboard.
Copy and paste[edit]
Sequence diagram of the copy-paste operation
The term "copy-and-paste" refers to the popular, simple method of reproducing text or other data from a source to a destination. It differs from cut and paste in that the original source text or data does not get deleted or removed. The popularity of this method stems from its simplicity and the ease with which users can move data between various applications visually – without resorting to permanent storage.
Once one has copied data into the clipboard, one may paste the contents of the clipboard into a destination document.
The X Window System maintains an additional clipboard containing the most recently selected text; middle-clicking pastes the content of this "selection" clipboard into whatever the pointer is on at that time.
Most terminal emulators and some other applications support the key combinations Ctrl-Insert to copy and Shift-Insert to paste. This is in accordance with the IBM Common User Access (CUA) standard. For similar functionality in historical text-mode terminals in Unix systems such as Linux and FreeBSD, see GPM or moused.
Find and go[edit]
The NeXTStep operating system extended the concept of having a single copy buffer by adding a second system-wide Find buffer used for searching. The Find buffer is also available in macOS.
Text can be placed in the Find buffer by either using the Find panel or by selecting text and hitting ⌘+E.
The text can then be searched with Find Next ⌘+G and Find Previous ⌘+D.
The functionality comes in handy when for example editing source code. To find the occurrence of a variable or function name elsewhere in the file, simply select the name by double clicking, hit ⌘+E and then jump to the next or previous occurrence with ⌘+G / ⌘+D.
Note that this does not destroy your copy buffer as with other UIs like Windows or the X Window System.
Together with copy and paste this can be used for quick and easy replacement of repeated text:
- select the text that you want to replace (i.e. by double clicking)
- put the text in the Find buffer with ⌘+E
- overwrite the selected text with your replacement text
- select the replacement text (try ⎇+⇧+← to avoid lifting your hands from the keyboard)
- copy the replacement text ⌘+C
- find the next or previous occurrence ⌘+G / ⌘+D
- paste the replacement text ⌘+V
- repeat the last two steps as often as needed
- select ⌘+ E, replstr, ⎇+⇧+←, ⌘+C, ⌘+G, ⌘+V, ⌘+G, ⌘+V ...
The find buffer is system wide. That is, if you enter a text in the find panel (or with ⌘+E) in one application and then switch to another application you can immediately start searching without having to enter the search text again.
Common keyboard shortcuts[edit]
| Cut | Copy | Paste | History | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Apple | ⌘ Command+X | ⌘ Command+C | ⌘ Command+V | |
| Windows/GNOME/KDE | Control+X / ⇧ Shift+Delete | Control+C / Control+Insert | Control+V / ⇧ Shift+Insert | In Windows 10 if enabled: ⊞ Win+V [6] |
| GNOME/KDE terminal emulators | Control+⇧ Shift+C / Control+Insert | Control+⇧ Shift+V / Control+⇧ Shift+Insert (⇧ Shift+Insert for pasting selected text) | ||
| BeOS | Alt+X | Alt+C | Alt+V | |
| Common User Access | ⇧ Shift+Delete | Control+Insert | ⇧ Shift+Insert | |
| Emacs | Control+w (Cut / Wipe out) | meta+w (Copy) | Control+y (Paste / Yank) | |
| vi | d (delete)/dd (delete line) | y (yank) | p (put) | |
| X Window System | click-and-drag to highlight | middle mouse button |
Copying data one by one from one application to another, such as from Excel to a web form, might involve a lot of manual work. Copy and paste can be automated with the help of a program that would iterate through the values list and paste them to the active application window. Such programs might come in the form of macros or dedicated programs which involve more or less scripting. Alternatively, applications supporting simultaneous editing may be used to copy or move collections of items.
Additional differences between moving and copying[edit]
In a spreadsheet, moving (cut and paste) need not equate to copying (copy and paste) and then deleting the original: when moving, references to the moved cells may move accordingly.
Windows Explorer also differentiates moving from merely copy-and-delete: a "cut" file will not actually disappear until pasted elsewhere and cannot be pasted more than once. The icon fades to show the transient "cut" state until it is pasted somewhere. Cutting a second file while the first one is cut will release the first from the "cut" state and leave it unchanged. Shift+Delete cannot be used to cut files; instead it deletes them without using the Recycle bin.
Multiple clipboards[edit]
Several editors allow copying text into or pasting text from specific clipboards, typically using a special keystroke-sequence to specify a particular clipboard-number.
Clipboard managers can be very convenient productivity-enhancers by providing many more features than system-native clipboards. Thousands of clips from the clip history are available for future pasting, and can be searched, edited, or deleted. Favorite clips that a user frequently pastes (for example, the current date, or the various fields of a user's contact info) can be kept standing ready to be pasted with a few clicks or keystrokes.
Similarly, a kill ring provides a LIFO stack used for cut-and-paste operations as a type of clipboard capable of storing multiple pieces of data.[7] For example, the GNU Emacs text editor provides a kill ring.[8] Each time a user performs a cut or copy operation, the system adds the affected text to the ring. The user can then access the contents of a specific (relatively numbered) buffer in the ring when performing a subsequent paste-operation. One can also give kill-buffers individual names, thus providing another form of multiple-clipboard functionality.
Use in healthcare[edit]
Concerns exist over the use of copy and paste functions in healthcare documentation and electronic health records. There is potential for the introduction of errors, information overload, and fraud.[1][9]
Pejorative use of expression[edit]
Main article: Cut and paste job
An action can be described as "cut/copy-and-paste" in a pejorative sense, to mean that a person creating some item has, in fact, merely copied from a previously existing item. Examples may include film screenplays, books, and other creative endeavors that appear to "lift" their content substantially from existing sources, and papers submitted for examinations which are directly copied from other reference sources.[citation needed]
Use in software development[edit]
Copy and paste programming is an anti-pattern arising from the careless pasting of pre-existing code into another source code file. Shared interfaces ("abstract classes") with the same named methods should be exposed, and each module should subclass the interface to provide needed differences in functionality.
See also[edit]
- Clipboard
- Control key
- Cut and paste job
- Drag and drop
- Photomontage
- Publishing Interchange Language
- Simultaneous editing
- X Window selection
- ^ Jump up to: a b Laubach, Lori; Wakefield, Catherine (June 8, 2012). "Cloning and Other Compliance Risks in Electronic Medical Records" (PDF). Moss Adams LLP, MultiCare. Archived (PDF) from the original on August 20, 2014. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
- ^ Deutsch, L. Peter; Lampson, Butler W. (1967), "An online editor", Communications of the ACM, 10 (12): 793–799, 803, doi:10.1145/363848.363863, archived from the original on 2013-05-26, p. 793.
- ^ Kuhn, Werner (1993). "Metaphors create theories for users". Spatial Information Theory A Theoretical Basis for GIS. Springer: 366–376.
- ^ "Bill Moggridge, Designing Interactions, MIT Press 2007, pp. 63–68". Designinginteractions.com. Archived from the original on 2011-11-17. Retrieved 2011-11-25.
- ^ "Clipboard Master". Clipboard Master 2.0 by In Phase Consulting, July 1994. Retrieved 14 September 2009.
- ^ How to use the new clipboard on Windows 10 October 2018 Update | Windows Central
- ^ "GKB (Generic Knowledge Base) Editor user's manual". Artificial Intelligence Center. SRI International. Archived from the original on 2011-09-27. Retrieved 2011-11-25.
- ^ "GNU Emacs manual". Gnu.org. Archived from the original on 2011-11-26. Retrieved 2011-11-25.
- ^ "Appropriate Use of the Copy and Paste Functionality in Electronic Health Records" (PDF). American Health Information Management Association. March 17, 2014. Archived from the original (PDF) on March 12, 2016. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
JALMONT shoots at tribe B
stfuHistory[edit]
Origins[edit]
The term "cut and paste" comes from the traditional practice in manuscript-editings whereby people would cut paragraphs from a page with scissors and paste them onto another page. This practice remained standard into the 1980s. Stationery stores formerly sold "editing scissors" with blades long enough to cut an 8½"-wide page. The advent of photocopiers made the practice easier and more flexible.
The act of copying/transferring text from one part of a computer-based document ("buffer") to a different location within the same or different computer-based document was a part of the earliest on-line computer editors. As soon as computer data entry moved from punch-cards to online files (in the mid/late 1960s) there were "commands" for accomplishing this operation. This mechanism was often used to transfer frequently-used commands or text snippets from additional buffers into the document, as was the case with the QED text editor.[2]
Early methods[edit]
The earliest editors (designed for teleprinter terminals) provided keyboard commands to delineate a contiguous region of text, then delete or move it. Since moving a region of text requires first removing it from its initial location and then inserting it into its new location, various schemes had to be invented to allow for this multi-step process to be specified by the user. Often this was done with a "move" command, but some text editors required that the text be first put into some temporary location for later retrieval/placement. In 1983, the Apple Lisa became the first text editing system to call that temporary location "the clipboard".
Earlier control schemes such as NLS used a verb—object command structure, where the command name was provided first and the object to be copied or moved was second. The inversion from verb—object to object—verb on which copy and paste are based, where the user selects the object to be operated before initiating the operation, was an innovation crucial for the success of the desktop metaphor as it allowed copy and move operations based on direct manipulation.[3]
Many command line text editors, which predate their more popular GUI equivalents, including: ed, emacs, sed, and vi, have copy-paste features.
Popularization[edit]
Inspired by early line and character editors that broke a move or copy operation into two steps—between which the user could invoke a preparatory action such as navigation—Lawrence G. "Larry" Tesler proposed the names "cut" and "copy" for the first step and "paste" for the second step. Beginning in 1974, he and colleagues at Xerox Corporation Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) implemented several text editors that used cut/copy-and-paste commands to move/copy text.[4]
Apple Computer widely popularized the computer-based cut/copy-and-paste paradigm through the Lisa (1983) and Macintosh (1984) operating systems and applications. Apple mapped the functionalities to key combinations consisting of the Command key (a special modifier key) held down while typing the letters X (for cut), C (for copy), and V (for paste), choosing a handful of keyboard shortcuts to control basic editing operations. The keys involved all cluster together at the left end of the bottom row of the standard QWERTY keyboard, and each key is combined with a special modifier key to perform the desired operation:
The IBM Common User Access (CUA) standard also uses combinations of the Insert, Del, Shift and Control keys. Early versions of Windows used the IBM standard. Microsoft later also adopted the Apple key combinations with the introduction of Windows, using the control key as modifier key. For users migrating to Windows from MS-DOS this was a big change as MS-DOS users used the "copy" and "move" commands.
Similar patterns of key combinations, later borrowed by others, remain widely available today in most GUI text editors, word processors, and file system browsers.
The original copy/cut/paste workflow, as implemented at PARC, utilized a unique workflow: With two windows on the same screen, the user could use the mouse to pick a point at which to make an insertion in one window (or a segment of text to replace). Then, by holding shift and selecting the copy source elsewhere on the same screen, the copy would be made as soon as the shift was released. Similarly, holding shift and control would copy and cut (delete) the source. This workflow requires many fewer keystrokes/mouse clicks than the current multi-step workflows, and did not require an explicit copy buffer. It was dropped, one presumes, because the original Apple and IBM GUIs were not high enough density to permit multiple windows, as were the PARC machines, and so multiple simultaneous windows were rarely used.
Cut and paste[edit]
The sequence diagram of cut and paste operation
Computer-based editing can involve very frequent use of cut-and-paste operations. Most software-suppliers provide several methods for performing such tasks, and this can involve (for example) key combinations, pulldown menus, pop-up menus, or toolbar buttons.
Whereas cut-and-paste often takes place with a mouse-equivalent in Windows-like GUI environments, it may also occur entirely from the keyboard, especially in UNIX text editors, such as Pico or vi. Cutting and pasting without a mouse can involve a selection (for which Ctrl+x is pressed in most graphical systems) or the entire current line, but it may also involve text after the cursor until the end of the line and other more sophisticated operations.
- The user selects or "highlights" the text or file for moving by some method, typically by dragging over the text or file name with the pointing-device or holding down the Shift key while using the arrow keys to move the text cursor.
- The user performs a "cut" operation via key combination Ctrl+x (⌘+x for Macintosh users), menu, or other means.
- Visibly, "cut" text immediately disappears from its location. "Cut" files typically change color to indicate that they will be moved.
- Conceptually, the text has now moved to a location often called the clipboard. The clipboard typically remains invisible. On most systems only one clipboard location exists, hence another cut or copy operation overwrites the previously stored information. Many UNIX text-editors provide multiple clipboard entries, as do some Macintosh programs such as Clipboard Master,[5] and Windows clipboard-manager programs such as the one in Microsoft Office.
- The user selects a location for insertion by some method, typically by clicking at the desired insertion point.
- A paste operation takes place which visibly inserts the clipboard text at the insertion point. (The paste operation does not typically destroy the clipboard text: it remains available in the clipboard and the user can insert additional copies at other points).
When a software environment provides cut and paste functionality, a nondestructive operation called copy usually accompanies them; copy places a copy of the selected text in the clipboard without removing it from its original location.
The clipboard usually stays invisible, because the operations of cutting and pasting, while actually independent, usually take place in quick succession, and the user (usually) needs no assistance in understanding the operation or maintaining mental context. Some application programs provide a means of viewing, or sometimes even editing, the data on the clipboard.
Copy and paste[edit]
Sequence diagram of the copy-paste operation
The term "copy-and-paste" refers to the popular, simple method of reproducing text or other data from a source to a destination. It differs from cut and paste in that the original source text or data does not get deleted or removed. The popularity of this method stems from its simplicity and the ease with which users can move data between various applications visually – without resorting to permanent storage.
Once one has copied data into the clipboard, one may paste the contents of the clipboard into a destination document.
The X Window System maintains an additional clipboard containing the most recently selected text; middle-clicking pastes the content of this "selection" clipboard into whatever the pointer is on at that time.
Most terminal emulators and some other applications support the key combinations Ctrl-Insert to copy and Shift-Insert to paste. This is in accordance with the IBM Common User Access (CUA) standard. For similar functionality in historical text-mode terminals in Unix systems such as Linux and FreeBSD, see GPM or moused.
Find and go[edit]
The NeXTStep operating system extended the concept of having a single copy buffer by adding a second system-wide Find buffer used for searching. The Find buffer is also available in macOS.
Text can be placed in the Find buffer by either using the Find panel or by selecting text and hitting ⌘+E.
The text can then be searched with Find Next ⌘+G and Find Previous ⌘+D.
The functionality comes in handy when for example editing source code. To find the occurrence of a variable or function name elsewhere in the file, simply select the name by double clicking, hit ⌘+E and then jump to the next or previous occurrence with ⌘+G / ⌘+D.
Note that this does not destroy your copy buffer as with other UIs like Windows or the X Window System.
Together with copy and paste this can be used for quick and easy replacement of repeated text:
or in short:
- select the text that you want to replace (i.e. by double clicking)
- put the text in the Find buffer with ⌘+E
- overwrite the selected text with your replacement text
- select the replacement text (try ⎇+⇧+← to avoid lifting your hands from the keyboard)
- copy the replacement text ⌘+C
- find the next or previous occurrence ⌘+G / ⌘+D
- paste the replacement text ⌘+V
- repeat the last two steps as often as needed
While this might sound a bit complicated at first, it is often much faster than using the find panel, especial when only a few occurrences shall be replaced or when only some of the occurrences shall be replaced. When a text shall not be replaced, simply hit ⌘+G again to skip to the next occurrence.
- select ⌘+ E, replstr, ⎇+⇧+←, ⌘+C, ⌘+G, ⌘+V, ⌘+G, ⌘+V ...
The find buffer is system wide. That is, if you enter a text in the find panel (or with ⌘+E) in one application and then switch to another application you can immediately start searching without having to enter the search text again.
Common keyboard shortcuts[edit]
Copy and paste automation[edit]
Cut Copy Paste History Apple ⌘ Command+X ⌘ Command+C ⌘ Command+V Windows/GNOME/KDE Control+X / ⇧ Shift+Delete Control+C / Control+Insert Control+V / ⇧ Shift+Insert In Windows 10 if enabled: ⊞ Win+V [6] GNOME/KDE terminal emulators Control+⇧ Shift+C / Control+Insert Control+⇧ Shift+V / Control+⇧ Shift+Insert
(⇧ Shift+Insert for pasting selected text)BeOS Alt+X Alt+C Alt+V Common User Access ⇧ Shift+Delete Control+Insert ⇧ Shift+Insert Emacs Control+w (Cut / Wipe out) meta+w (Copy) Control+y (Paste / Yank) vi d (delete)/dd (delete line) y (yank) p (put) X Window System click-and-drag to highlight middle mouse button
Copying data one by one from one application to another, such as from Excel to a web form, might involve a lot of manual work. Copy and paste can be automated with the help of a program that would iterate through the values list and paste them to the active application window. Such programs might come in the form of macros or dedicated programs which involve more or less scripting. Alternatively, applications supporting simultaneous editing may be used to copy or move collections of items.
Additional differences between moving and copying[edit]
In a spreadsheet, moving (cut and paste) need not equate to copying (copy and paste) and then deleting the original: when moving, references to the moved cells may move accordingly.
Windows Explorer also differentiates moving from merely copy-and-delete: a "cut" file will not actually disappear until pasted elsewhere and cannot be pasted more than once. The icon fades to show the transient "cut" state until it is pasted somewhere. Cutting a second file while the first one is cut will release the first from the "cut" state and leave it unchanged. Shift+Delete cannot be used to cut files; instead it deletes them without using the Recycle bin.
Multiple clipboards[edit]
Several editors allow copying text into or pasting text from specific clipboards, typically using a special keystroke-sequence to specify a particular clipboard-number.
Clipboard managers can be very convenient productivity-enhancers by providing many more features than system-native clipboards. Thousands of clips from the clip history are available for future pasting, and can be searched, edited, or deleted. Favorite clips that a user frequently pastes (for example, the current date, or the various fields of a user's contact info) can be kept standing ready to be pasted with a few clicks or keystrokes.
Similarly, a kill ring provides a LIFO stack used for cut-and-paste operations as a type of clipboard capable of storing multiple pieces of data.[7] For example, the GNU Emacs text editor provides a kill ring.[8] Each time a user performs a cut or copy operation, the system adds the affected text to the ring. The user can then access the contents of a specific (relatively numbered) buffer in the ring when performing a subsequent paste-operation. One can also give kill-buffers individual names, thus providing another form of multiple-clipboard functionality.
Use in healthcare[edit]
Concerns exist over the use of copy and paste functions in healthcare documentation and electronic health records. There is potential for the introduction of errors, information overload, and fraud.[1][9]
Pejorative use of expression[edit]
Main article: Cut and paste job
An action can be described as "cut/copy-and-paste" in a pejorative sense, to mean that a person creating some item has, in fact, merely copied from a previously existing item. Examples may include film screenplays, books, and other creative endeavors that appear to "lift" their content substantially from existing sources, and papers submitted for examinations which are directly copied from other reference sources.[citation needed]
Use in software development[edit]
Copy and paste programming is an anti-pattern arising from the careless pasting of pre-existing code into another source code file. Shared interfaces ("abstract classes") with the same named methods should be exposed, and each module should subclass the interface to provide needed differences in functionality.
See also[edit]
References[edit]
- Clipboard
- Control key
- Cut and paste job
- Drag and drop
- Photomontage
- Publishing Interchange Language
- Simultaneous editing
- X Window selection
- ^ Jump up to: a b Laubach, Lori; Wakefield, Catherine (June 8, 2012). "Cloning and Other Compliance Risks in Electronic Medical Records" (PDF). Moss Adams LLP, MultiCare. Archived (PDF) from the original on August 20, 2014. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
- ^ Deutsch, L. Peter; Lampson, Butler W. (1967), "An online editor", Communications of the ACM, 10 (12): 793–799, 803, doi:10.1145/363848.363863, archived from the original on 2013-05-26, p. 793.
- ^ Kuhn, Werner (1993). "Metaphors create theories for users". Spatial Information Theory A Theoretical Basis for GIS. Springer: 366–376.
- ^ "Bill Moggridge, Designing Interactions, MIT Press 2007, pp. 63–68". Designinginteractions.com. Archived from the original on 2011-11-17. Retrieved 2011-11-25.
- ^ "Clipboard Master". Clipboard Master 2.0 by In Phase Consulting, July 1994. Retrieved 14 September 2009.
- ^ How to use the new clipboard on Windows 10 October 2018 Update | Windows Central
- ^ "GKB (Generic Knowledge Base) Editor user's manual". Artificial Intelligence Center. SRI International. Archived from the original on 2011-09-27. Retrieved 2011-11-25.
- ^ "GNU Emacs manual". Gnu.org. Archived from the original on 2011-11-26. Retrieved 2011-11-25.
- ^ "Appropriate Use of the Copy and Paste Functionality in Electronic Health Records" (PDF). American Health Information Management Association. March 17, 2014. Archived from the original (PDF) on March 12, 2016. Retrieved April 23, 2014.
JALMONT shoots at
I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding Mr. Texas Cloverleaf. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Texas himself. His roorbacks cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that Texas can walk on water.
Texas and I are as different as chalk and cheese. He, for instance, wants to detach people from their morally established systems of belief. I, on the other hand, want to bring the truth to light. That's why I need to tell you that he constantly insists that the peak of fashion is to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. But he contradicts himself when he says that he is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities. Despite his evident lack of grounding in what he's talking about, he speaks like a true defender of the status quo—a status quo, we should not forget, that enables him to invade every private corner and force every thought into a dictatorial mold. Texas would have us believe that there should be publicly financed centers of incendiarism. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject.
Here's a nugget of information that you might find interesting: Texas has long been allowing federally funded research to mushroom into an ungrateful, grossly inefficient system, hampered by disingenuous perverts and scabrous scalawags. This is the day that such evils must come to an end. I have been warned that to take such a stand would obscure my main message, but Texas has long wanted to prevent anyone from stating publicly that he has no sense of personal boundaries. Why do I bring that up? Because by studying his repression of ideas in its extreme, unambiguous form one may more clearly understand why Texas's personal philosophy runs at widdershins to ordinary society. In particular, he believes in violating international laws. Some people warrant that most lazy conspiracy theorists think, “credo, quia absurdum” when they hear Texas say that his platitudes are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Others profess that Texas's suggestions are unrealistic. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Whenever someone accuses Texas of doing everything possible to keep tetchy drunks silly and unscrupulous, his one-size-fits-all response is that his obloquies are our final line of defense against tyrrany. This galimatias should make you realize that Texas wants all of us to believe that he can change his naive ways. That's why he sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.
Despite the dominant narrative within Texas's claque that everyone who doesn't share Texas's beliefs is a merciless, renitent maniac deserving of death and damnation, history tells a different story. History tells us that Texas keeps missing my point. More specifically, he keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that the “in” thing this season for Texas's faction is trapping us like flies in a spider's web of quislingism, Texas seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, reckless world run by impertinent mythomaniacs.
Not to be rude or anything, but Texas says he's going to violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship in the near future. Good old Texas. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how sexist they sound. I find his histrionics rather psychotic, don't you? All that we have achieved may now be lost, if not in the bright flames of totalitarianism then in the dense smoke of the libidinous initiatives promoted by sniveling, ethically bankrupt scapegraces. In case you hadn't noticed, even if scientific evidence established that Texas's writings are a veritable encyclopedia of everything that is directly pertinent to mankind's spiritual and intellectual development, it would still be the case that we can see the damage that is done when he tries to cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. We can therefore conclude that Texas's idea of moral relativism is not, as you might expect, a mild paraphrase for poisoning the relationship between teacher and student. It is something else entirely: an ossified doctrine of antipathy towards those who challenge Texas to defend his protests or else to change them. As evidence, consider that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, he has been trying for quite some time to convince us that his strictures will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. I suggest he take this rotting ordure and dump it where he and his fellow balmy wantwits congregate. At least then we could point the high-powered fire hose of truth at his furciferous warnings to wash away their multiple layers of oligarchism without having to worry that he will prosecute, sentence, and label people as arrogant sciolists without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever. Anyway, I hope I've made my point, which is that Mr. Texas Cloverleaf is simply incapable of entertaining an unorthodox idea.
in conclusion,
please vote Mr. texas cloverleaf vote texas cloverleaf
I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding Mr. Texas Cloverleaf. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Texas himself. His roorbacks cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that Texas can walk on water.
Texas and I are as different as chalk and cheese. He, for instance, wants to detach people from their morally established systems of belief. I, on the other hand, want to bring the truth to light. That's why I need to tell you that he constantly insists that the peak of fashion is to alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. But he contradicts himself when he says that he is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities. Despite his evident lack of grounding in what he's talking about, he speaks like a true defender of the status quo—a status quo, we should not forget, that enables him to invade every private corner and force every thought into a dictatorial mold. Texas would have us believe that there should be publicly financed centers of incendiarism. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject.
Here's a nugget of information that you might find interesting: Texas has long been allowing federally funded research to mushroom into an ungrateful, grossly inefficient system, hampered by disingenuous perverts and scabrous scalawags. This is the day that such evils must come to an end. I have been warned that to take such a stand would obscure my main message, but Texas has long wanted to prevent anyone from stating publicly that he has no sense of personal boundaries. Why do I bring that up? Because by studying his repression of ideas in its extreme, unambiguous form one may more clearly understand why Texas's personal philosophy runs at widdershins to ordinary society. In particular, he believes in violating international laws. Some people warrant that most lazy conspiracy theorists think, “credo, quia absurdum” when they hear Texas say that his platitudes are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Others profess that Texas's suggestions are unrealistic. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Whenever someone accuses Texas of doing everything possible to keep tetchy drunks silly and unscrupulous, his one-size-fits-all response is that his obloquies are our final line of defense against tyrrany. This galimatias should make you realize that Texas wants all of us to believe that he can change his naive ways. That's why he sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.
Despite the dominant narrative within Texas's claque that everyone who doesn't share Texas's beliefs is a merciless, renitent maniac deserving of death and damnation, history tells a different story. History tells us that Texas keeps missing my point. More specifically, he keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that the “in” thing this season for Texas's faction is trapping us like flies in a spider's web of quislingism, Texas seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, reckless world run by impertinent mythomaniacs.
Not to be rude or anything, but Texas says he's going to violate the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship in the near future. Good old Texas. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how sexist they sound. I find his histrionics rather psychotic, don't you? All that we have achieved may now be lost, if not in the bright flames of totalitarianism then in the dense smoke of the libidinous initiatives promoted by sniveling, ethically bankrupt scapegraces. In case you hadn't noticed, even if scientific evidence established that Texas's writings are a veritable encyclopedia of everything that is directly pertinent to mankind's spiritual and intellectual development, it would still be the case that we can see the damage that is done when he tries to cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. We can therefore conclude that Texas's idea of moral relativism is not, as you might expect, a mild paraphrase for poisoning the relationship between teacher and student. It is something else entirely: an ossified doctrine of antipathy towards those who challenge Texas to defend his protests or else to change them. As evidence, consider that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, he has been trying for quite some time to convince us that his strictures will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. I suggest he take this rotting ordure and dump it where he and his fellow balmy wantwits congregate. At least then we could point the high-powered fire hose of truth at his furciferous warnings to wash away their multiple layers of oligarchism without having to worry that he will prosecute, sentence, and label people as arrogant sciolists without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever. Anyway, I hope I've made my point, which is that Mr. Texas Cloverleaf is simply incapable of entertaining an unorthodox idea.
in conclusion,
please vote Mr. texas cloverleaf vote texas cloverleaf
i dont know if you know or if anyone has told you but your images are no longer available.Trainer Name: Texas Cloverleaf
Pokemon:
Here Be Dragons: Cyclohm, Druddigon, Dragonite, Charizard, Dragalge, Tyrantrum, Garchomp, Hydreigon, Kingdra, Haxorus, Flygon, Kyurem, Latias
Goodstuffs: Starmie, Snorlax, Gardevoir, Stratagem, Togekiss, Pyroak, Colossoil, Lucario
Cool Stuff: Blastoise, Emboar, Metagross, Greninja, Revenankh, Eelektross, Tomohawk
Stuff In Training: Steelix, Honchkrow, Gliscor, Dusknoir, Dodrio, Pinsir, Skarmory, Glalie, Heracross, Granbull, Cubone, Exeggcute, Ariados, Volcarona
Cooler Stuff: Tentacruel, Bronzong, Mamoswine, Kitsunoh, Nidoking, Blissey, Medicham, Aerodactyl
Meh: Arcanine, Weavile, Phione, Lairon, Regirock, Slowking, Necturna
Gen 7 Mons: Popplio, Salandit, Wimpod, Drampa, Jangmo-o, Dhelmise
CC:
45
UC: 4.4
Gym Badges (11):
FLYING BADGE
DRAGON BADGE (ex-Gym Leader)
ELECTRIC BADGE
BUG BADGE
GHOST BADGE
GROUND BADGE
FAIRY BADGE
STEEL BADGE
FIRE BADGE
NORMAL BADGE
ICE BADGE
Backpack:
1x Black Belt
1x Charcoal
1x Dragon Fang
2x Hard Stone
2x Magnet
2x Nevermeltice
1x Pixie Dust
1x Sharp Beak
1x Silk Scarf
1x Silverpowder
1x Soft Sand
1x Amulet Coin
3x Exp. Share
2x Heart Scale
1x Lucky Egg
14x Enigma Berry
4x Leppa Berry
1x Occa Berry
1x Passho Berry
1x Wacan Berry
1x Rindo Berry
1x Yache Berry
1x Chople Berry
1x Kebia Berry
1x Shuca Berry
1x Coba Berry
1x Payapa Berry
1x Tanga Berry
1x Charti Berry
1x Kasib Berry
1x Haban Berry
1x Colbur Berry
1x Babiri Berry
1x Chilan Berry
1x Roseli Berry
1x Mental Herb
1x Aerodactylite
1x Blastoisinite
1x Charizardite X
1x Charizardite Y
1x Dragon Scale
1x Everstone
1x Full Incense
1x Garchompite
1x Gardevoirite
1x Glalite
1x Jaw Fossil
1x Latiasite
1x Lucarionite
1x Medichamite
1x Rare Candy
1x Reaper's Cloth
1x Pinsirite
1x Razor Fang
1x Thick Club
1x Water Stone
1x Berserk Gene
1x Big Root
1x Brightpowder
4x Expert Belt
1x Float Stone
1x Focus Band
1x Focus Sash
1x Heat Rock
1x Leftovers
1x Light Clay
1x Life Orb
2x Macho Brace
1x Muscle Band
1x Quick Claw
1x RageCandyBar
1x Rocky Helmet
1x Scope Lens
1x Smooth Rock
1x Ice Sapphire
1x Rock Ruby
1x Potion
2x Super Potion
1x Hyper Potion
1x Max Potion
1x Full Restore
1x Ether
1x Max Ether
2x Max Elixir
1x Revive
3x Max Revive
3x Poke Ball
2x Ultra Ball
7x Sport Ball
6x Cherish Ball
3x Timer Ball
Raid Prizes
1x Glyph of Ice Shard
1x Glyph of Ice Beam
2x Glyph of Meteor Mash
1x Glyph of Signal Beam
1x Glyph of Agility
1x Glyph of Tri Attack
2x Glyph of Earth Power
2x Glyph of Recover
1x Glyph of Sludge Wave
1x Glyph of Synthesis
1x Glyph of X-Scissor
1x Glyph of Icicle Spear
1x Glyph of Thunder Wave: Causes the paralysis inflicted by Thunder Wave to last for (3) more actions on bosses
1x Glyph of Brave Bird
1x Glyph of Dragon Rush
1x Glyph of Shadow Punch: Raises the power of Shadow Punch by 2 and its critical hit stage by 1.
1x Glyph of Power Whip: Raises the accuracy of Power Whip by a flat 15% and its power by 2.
1x Glyph of Zap Cannon: Raises the accuracy of Zap Cannon by a flat +30%, its power by 2, and reduces its energy cost by 1, but causes it to no longer have a chance to paralyze the target.
1x Glyph of Curse: Using Curse grants the user Redoubt, reducing the damage taken from attacks by a flat 3 for the next (6) actions. Doesn't work for Ghost-type Pokemon.
1x Glyph of Zen Headbutt: Raises the power of Zen Headbutt by 1, its accuracy by a flat +10%, and gives it a 30% chance to refund 50% of its energy cost.
1x Glyph of Superpower: Superpower no longer lowers the user's Attack and Defense upon use, raises its power by 1 and reduces its energy cost by 1.
1x Glyph of Synthesis: Causes Synthesis to always heal its user by a base 30 regardless of light conditions, and reduces Synthesis's energy cost by 3 under strong sunlight.
1x Glyph of Lucky Chant: Reduces the energy cost of Lucky Chant by 3, extends its duration by 3 actions and causes it to affect the entire team.
1x Glyph of Heat Crash: Raises the user's Weight Class (for the purposes of determining Heat Crash's BP only) by 3 and reduces its energy cost by 1.
1x Glyph of Inferno: Causes Inferno's accuracy to raise by 50% and its energy cost to be reduced by 2 against burned targets, and causes it to reset Burn status duration to (6) actions.
1x Glyph of Bite: Raises the power of Bite by 3.
1x Glyph of Bind: Causes Bind to increase the accuracy of all the user's attacks by a flat +50% against the Binded target (this boost does not apply if the move has a base accuracy of less than 50%) and extends the duration of Bind by 2 actions.
1x Gracidea Blossom
1x Vile Claws
1x Splintered Visage of the Spire
1x Twisted Matrix
1x Beacon of the Argent Night
1x
Tier 3 Venerable Hierophant's Charge: Raises the holder's Sp. Attack rank by 5 and increases the chance of secondary effects by a flat 10% (after other multipliers). Increases critical hit stage against statused targets by 1 and critical damage done by 1.
1x
Tier 3 Old Book of Tricks: Raises the STAB bonus of the holder's attacks by 5 and reduces the energy cost of Gravity, Skill Swap, and Trick Room by 2. Extends the duration of Light Screen, Reflect, and Tailwind by 3 actions.
1x
Tier 3 Inherited Bishop's Mallet: Raises the STAB bonus of the holder's attacks by 5 and increases the healing done by direct heals by a flat 3 and heal over time effects by 1. Reduces the energy cost of Aromatherapy and Heal Bell by 1.
1x
Tier 3 Ancient Templar's Ward: Raises the STAB bonus of the holder's attacks by 5, its Defense and Sp. Defense ranks by 1, and reduces damage taken from supereffective attacks by a flat 1. Reduces the energy cost of Taunt by 1.
1x
Cowl of the Skystrider: Raises the power of Flying-type moves by (7), raises the critical damage bonus of Sky Attack by (2) and reduces the energy cost of Fly and Brave Bird by (1).
1x Scythe of Northern Storms
1x Sanctified Ashes of the Phoenix God
1x
Signet of Bright Hope: Raises the Special Attack rank of the holder by 9, and reduces the energy cost of Wish, Safeguard, and Softboiled by (3)
1x
Relic of Spectral Spring: Raises the power of Ghost-type attacks by 8. If the holder is a Ghost-type Pokémon, raises the power of Water-type attacks by 8 and, if the holder is also not a Water-type, allows the use of the moves Bubblebeam and Waterfall even if they are not present in the holder's movepool
1x
Titanforged Signet: Raises the base power of Rock-type moves by (8), and their accuracy by a flat 20%. Moreover, whenever the holder hits a foe with Paleo Wave, Ancientpower, or Power Gem, the holder has a 20% chance to enter in Clearcasting state, reducing the energy cost of the next special attacking move by 100% and causing it to always land a critical hit. Reduces the energy cost of Ice-type and Steel-type moves by (1).
1x
Regi Bastion: Raises the power of Normal-type attacks by (7), the holder's Defense and Sp. Defense ranks by 2, and reduces the power of supereffective attacks used against the holder by 2. If the holder is a Normal-type, raises the power of Normal-type attacks by an additional (5).
1x
Gygax, the Runeblade: Raises the Attack rank of the holder by 10 and its critical hit stage by 1. Moreover, every contact attack affects the target with Curse of Gygax for (6) actions, which raises the base power of any Ice-, Normal-, Rock- and Steel-type move used against the target by 3.
1x
Cleansed Gracidea Blossom: Raises the power of Flying-type moves by 7, the holder's Special Attack rank by 2, the critical hit stage of Air Slash by 1 and the power of Air Cutter by 2. Whenever Air Cutter or Air Slash critically hit, the holder gains Piercing Winds, allowing its special Flying-type moves to damage their target as if its Sp. Defense were 2 ranks lower (never lower than 0) for the next 3 actions. Raises the holder's Threshold by 1.
1x
Sunflare: Raises the power of Fire-type moves by 7, the holder's Special Attack rank by 2 and reduces the energy cost of Solar Beam and Sunny Day by 1. Causes Solar Beam to deal super effective damage to any type which would take super effective damage from Grass-type or Fire-type moves, but it still counts as a Grass-type move for all other purposes. Raises the holder's Threshold by 1.
1x
Serpent Stinger: Raises the power of Dark-type moves by 7, the holder's Attack rank by 2, and increases their critical hit stage by 1 against poisoned targets. Everytime the holder hits a poisoned target with a Dark-type physical move, one stat between Attack, Speed, and Accuracy (chosen at random) will permanently raise by 1 stage (This effect won't trigger more than once per move). Raises the holder's Threshold by 1. Texas Cloverleaf shoots Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
13 Valour Counters
17x Badge of Valour
10x Badge of Light
4x
Pumkin Berry
JALMONT shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
1x Tainted Ash
Berry Harvesting
Empowered Mega Ring
1x
Purified Northspring Egg
Tome of Comet (x6): Teaches the move Comet to a Pokemon. This item is consumed upon use.
Tome of Chimaera Strike (x10)
Highlight Matches
The Best Brawl Ever
The Most Amazing Hax Ever
Great Gym Comeback Win
Inaugural Dragon Gym Match
Phione!
A fun 6v6 vs MK Ultra in the Stargazer Colosseum
Epic 3v3 LC Match vs Glacier Knight
Early Match with some cool flavour - Dragonspiral Tower
Team Tourney Triples - Excellent Fight vs Jas
{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only
be broken by love's first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing
dragon.
Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,
but non prevailed.
She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest
tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.
{Laughing}
Like that's ever gonna happen.
{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}
What a load of -
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'
Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey, now You're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin' stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait till you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire
How 'bout yours
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored
Hey, now, you're an all-star
{Shouting}
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin' stars break the mold
{Belches}
Go!
Go!
{Record Scratching}
Go. Go.Go.
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin' stars break the mold
-Think it's in there?
-All right. Let's get it!
-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.
{Laughs}
-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.
Now, ogres - - They're much worse.
They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
-No!
-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!
Actually, it's quite good on toast.
-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
{Gasping}
-Right.
{Roaring}
{Shouting}
{Roaring}
{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.
{Gasping}
{Laughs}
{Laughing} And stay out!
"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."
{Sighs}
{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.
-Take it away!
{Gasps}
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!
-Next!
-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
-Get up! Come on!
-Twenty pieces.
{Thudding}
-Sit down there!
-Keep quiet!
{Crying}
-This cage is too small.
-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.
I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
-Oh, shut up.
-Oh!
-Next!
-What have you got?
-This little wooden puppet.
-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
-Father, please! Don't let them do this!
-Help me!
-Next! What have you got?
-Well, I've got a talking donkey.
{Grunts}
-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
-Oh, go ahead, little fella.
-Well?
-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.
He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -
-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.
I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
-Get her out of my sight.
-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
{Gasps}
-Hey! I can fly!
-He can fly!
-He can fly!
-He can talk!
-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!
Oh-oh.
{Grunts}
-Seize him!
-After him! He's getting away!
{Grunts, Gasps}
{Man}
-Get him! This way! Turn!
-You there. Orge!
-Aye?
-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under
arrest
and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.
-Oh, really? You and what army?
{Gasps, Whimpering}
{Chuckles}
-Can I say something to you?
-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.
Incredible!
Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!
-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great
back here? Those guards!
They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They
was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made
me feel good to see that.
joe_durk shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
-Oh, that's great. Really.
-Man, it's good to be free.
-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?
Hmm?
-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by
myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.
You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit
out of anybody that crosses us.
{Roaring}
-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that
don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you
definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!
You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -
{Mumbling}
Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my
butt that day.
-Why are you following me?
-I'll tell you why.
'Cause I'm all alone
There's no one here beside me
My promlems have all gone
There's no one to deride me
But you gotta heve friends - -
-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.
-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.
-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
-Uh - - Really tall?
-No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't
that bother you?
-Nope.
-Really?
-Really, really.
-Oh.
-Man, I like you. What's you name?
-Uh, Shrek.
-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?
You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.
Who'd want to live in place like that?
-That would be my home.
-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a
decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I
like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?
-I like my privacy.
-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I
hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them
a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
-Can I stay with you?
-Uh, what?
-Can I stay with you, please?
-Of course!
-Really?
-No.
-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to
be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta
stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
-Okay! Okay! But one night only.
-Ah! Thank you!
-What are you - - No! No!
-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,
and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.
-Oh!
-Where do, uh, I sleep?
-Outside!
-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you
don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.
{Sniffles}
-Here I go.
-Good night.
{Sighs}
-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside.
I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself,
outside.
I'm all alone
There's no one here beside me
{Bubbling}
{Sighs}
{Creaking}
{Sighs}
-I thought I told you to stay outside.
-I'm outside.
{Clattering}
-Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we
have?
-It's not home, but it'll do just fune.
-What a lovely bed.
-Got ya.
{Sniffs} I found some cheese.
-Ow! {Grunts}
-Blah! Awful stuff.
-Is that you, Gorder?
-How did you know?
-Enough! What are you doing in my house?
{Grunts}
-Hey!
{Snickers}
-Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.
-Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
-Huh?
{Gusps}
{Male voice} What?
-I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I
have to do get a little privacy?
-Aah!
-Oh, no. No! No!
{Cackling}
-What?
-Quit it.
-Don't push.
{Squeaking}
{Lows}
- What are you doing in my swamp?
{Echoing}
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
{Gasping}
-Oh, dear!
-Whoa!
-All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go!
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
-Quickly. Come on!
-No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there.
-Oh!
{Sighs}
-Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.
-Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
-What?
-We were forced to come here.
-By who?
-Lord Farquaad.
-He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice.
{Sighs}
-All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?
{Murmuring}
-Oh, I do. I know where he is.
-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?
-Me! Me!
-Anyone?
-Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!
{Sighs}
-Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy
Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came
from!
{Cheering}
{Twittering}
-Oh! You! You're comin' with me.
- All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two
stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!
-On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek.
-Hey. Oh, oh!
-I can't wait to get on the road again.
-What did I say about singing?
-Can I whistle?
-No.
-Can I hum it?
-All right, hum it.
{Humming}
{Grunts}
{Whimpering}
-That's enough. He's ready to talk.
{Coughing}
{Laughing}
{Clears throat}
-Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the
gingerbread man!
-You are a monster.
-I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy
tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the
others?
-Eat me!{Grunts}
-I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached
its end! Tell me or I'll - -
-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.
-All right then. Who's hiding them?
-Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
-The muffin man?
-The muffin man.
-Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?
-Well, she's married to the muffin man.
-The muffin man?
-The muffin man!
-She's married to the muffin man.
{Door opens}
-My lord! We found it.
-Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
{Man grunting}
{Gasping}
-Oh!
-Magic mirror - -
-Don't tell him anything!
-No!
{Ginerbread man whispers}
-Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect
kingdom of them all?
-Well, technically you're not a king.
-Uh, Thelonius.
-You were saying?
-What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All
you have to do is marry a princess.
-Go on.
{Chuckles}
-So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to
meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette
number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.
She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking
and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
-Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of
fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just
kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come
on. Give it up for Snow White!
-And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a
fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling
lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes
pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing,
Princess Fiona!
-So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or
bachelorette number three?
-Two! Two!
-Three! Three!
-Two! Two!
-Three!
-Three? One?
{Shudders} Three?
--Three! Pick number three, my lord!
-Okay, okay, uh, number three!
-Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.
If you like pina coladas
And getting caught in the rain
-Princess Fiona.
If you're not into yoga
-She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - -
-But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
-I'll do it.
-Yes, but after sunset - -
-Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will
finally have the perfect king!
Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
-But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd
find it.
-So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
-Uh-huh. That's the place.
-Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
{Laughs}
{Groans}
-Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
-Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
-Hey, you!
{Screams}
-Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - -
{Whimpering}
{Sighs}
{Whimpering, Groans}
{Turnstile clatters}
{Chuckles}
{Sighs}
-It's quiet. Too quiet.
{Creaking}
-Where is everybody?
-Hey, look at this!
{Clattering, whirring, clicking}
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town
Here we have some rules
Let us lay them down
Don't make waves, stay in line
And we'll get along fine
DuLoc is perfect place
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face
DuLoc is, DuLoc is
DuLoc is perfect ...... place
{Camera shutter clicks
{Whirring}
-Wow! Let's do that again!
-No. No. No, no, no! No.
{Trumpet fanfare}
{Crowd cheering}
-Brave knights.
-You are the best and brightest in all the land.
-Today one of you shall prove himself - -
-All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
-Sorry about that.
{Cheering}
-That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go
forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the
dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae
die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
{Cheering}
-Let the tournament begin!
{Gasps}
-Oh!
-What is that?
{Gasping}
-It's hideous!
-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.
-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named
champion! Have it him!
-Get him!
-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.
-Go ahead! Get him!
-Can't we just settle this over a pint?
-Kill the beast!
-No? All right then. Come on!
I don't give a damn about my reputation
You're living in the past
It's a new generation
-Damn!
{Whinnying}
A girl can do what she wants to do
And that's what I'm gonna do
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
Me, me, me
-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
-Ah!
{Laughs}
And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun
-Yeah!
And I don't have to please no one
-The chair! Give him the chair!
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
Me, me, me
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me
{Bell dings}
{Cheering}
{Laughs}
-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till
Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!
{Shrek laughs}
{Crowd gasping, murmuring}
-Shall I give the order, sir?
-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!
-What?
-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great
and noble quest.
-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
-Your swamp?
-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!
{Crowd murmuring}
-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for
me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
-Exactly the way it was?
-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
-And the squatters?
-As good as gone.
-What kind of quest?
-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a
princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only
don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.
-Is that about right?
-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on
him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make
your bread, the whole orge trip.
-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and
put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and
drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
-Uh, no, not really, no.
-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.
-Example?
-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.
-{Sniffs} They stink?
-Yes - - No!
-They make you cry?
-No!
-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little
white hairs.
-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have
layers. You get it? We both have layers.
{Sighs}
-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes
onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.
-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a
person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like
no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like
onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or
something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start
slobbering.
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you give to me the day I wander
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was
open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's
brimstone We must be getting close.
-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I
know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone
neither.
{Rumbling}
-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.
{Laughing}
-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?
-Oh, aye.
-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have
layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
-Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
-You know what I mean.
-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over
a boiling like of lava!
-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional
support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step
at a time.
-Really?
-Really, really.
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
-Just keep moving. And don't look down.
-Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on
moving. Don't look down.
{Gasps}
-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off,
please!
-But you're already halfway.
-But I know that half is safe!
-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.
-Shrek, no! Wait!
-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?
-Don't do that!
-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?
-Oh, this?
-Yes, that!
-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
{Screams}
-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
-You said do it! I'm doin' it.
-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!
-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
-Cool.
-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
{Chuckles}
-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
{Water dripping, wind howling}
-You afraid?
-No.
-But - -
- Shh.
-Oh, good. Me neither.
{Gasps}
-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I
might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and
breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little
scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.
{Gasps}
-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if
you can find any stairs.
-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.
-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest
tower.
-What makes you think she'll be there?
-I read it in a book once.
-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those
stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way
they're goin'.
{Creacing}
-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with
me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a
step right here. I'd step all over it.
-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - -
-Dragon!
{Screams}
{Gasps}
{Roars}
-Donkey, look out!
{Screams}
{Whimpering}
-Got ya!
{Roars}
{Gasps}
{Shouts}
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
{Screaming}
{Gasps}
-Oh! Aah! Aah!
{Gasping}
{Crowls}
-No. Oh, no, No!
{Screams}
-Oh, what large teeth you have.
{Crowls}
-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time
from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile
you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know
what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of
course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.
Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - -
(Coughs)
-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna
blow smoke rings. Shrek!
{Gasps}
{Whimpering}
-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
{Groans, Sighs}
{Vocalizing}
-Oh! Oh!
-Wake up!
-What?
-Are you Princess Fiona?
-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be
a wonderful, romantic moment?
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out
yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
-Mm-hmm.
{Screams, grunts}
-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for
me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
-I don't think so.
-Can I at least know the name of my champion?
-Um, Shrek.
-Sir Shrek.
{Cleans throat}
-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
-Thanks!
{Roaring}
-You didn't slay the dragon?
-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
{Screams}
-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,
banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.
-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
-That's not the point. Oh!
-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.
-Well, I have to save my ass.
-What kind of knight are you?
-One of a kind.
-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to
know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.
{Laughs}
-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not
emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really
is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted
physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back
up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to
know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot,
but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - -
Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna
tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with
that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!
{Growls}
{Roaring}
{Gasps}
-Hi, Princess!
-It talks!
-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
{Screams}
{Screaming}
-Oh!
{Thuds}
{Groans}
{Roars}
{Roaring}
-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.
{Fchoing}
-Run!
{Gasping}
{Screaming}
{Roaring}
{Screams}
{Roars}
{Panting, sighs}
{Whimpers}
{Roars}
-You did it!
-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful.
You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and
thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
{Clears throat}
-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a
steed.
-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
-Uh, no.
-Why not?
-I have helmet hair.
-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.
-But how will you kiss me?
-What? That wasn't in the job description.
-Maybe it's a perk.
-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in
a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then
they share true love's first kiss.
-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you
true love?
-Well, yes.
{Laughing}
-You think Shrek is your true love!
-What is so funny?
-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?
-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your
helmet.
-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.
-Just take off the helmet.
-I'm not going to.
-Take ot off.
-No!
-Now!
-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.
-You- - You're a- - an orge.
-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed
to be an orge.
{Sighs}
-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the
one who wants to marry you.
-Then why didn't he come rescue me?
-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- -
his pet.
-So much for noble steed.
-You're not making my job any easier.
-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right
here.
-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.
-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!
-Ya comin', Donkey?
-I'm right behind ya.
-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not
dignified! Put me down!
-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you,
right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down
real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a
crisp and eaten?
-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what
happens when you find your - - Hey!
{Sighs}
-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.
-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!
-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in
short supply.
{Laughs}
-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.
-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never
measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the
"measuring" when you see him tomorrow.
-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
-But there's robbers in the woods.
-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.
-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this
forest.
-I need to find somewhere to camp now!
{Birds wings fluttering}
{Grunting}
-Hey! Over here.
-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a
princess.
-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
-Homey touches? Like what?
{Crashing}
-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.
-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.
-I said good night!
-Shrek, What are you doing?
{Laughs}
-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
{Fire cracking}
-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over
three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.
-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,
there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.
-I know you're making this up.
-No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away
from his stench.
-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.
-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?
Forget it.
{Sighs}
-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
-Our swamp?
-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.
-We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my
swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my
land.
-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what
I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody
out.
-No, do ya think?
-Are you hidin' something?
-Never mind, Donkey.
-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?
-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
-Why don't you want to talk about it?
-Why do you want to talk about it?
-Why are you blocking?
-I'm not blocking.
-Oh, yes, you are.
-Donkey, I'm warning you.
-Who you trying to keep out?
-Everyone! Okay?
-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.
-Oh! For the love of Pete!
-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that
seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.
"Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they
even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big,
stupid, ugly orge.
-Yeah, I know.
-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one
there?
-That's the moon.
-Oh, okay.
{Orchestra}
{Dulcimer}
-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the
princess.
-Hmph.
-Ah. Perfect.
{Inhales}
{Snoring}
{Vocalizing}
{Whistling}
{Sizzling}
{Sniffs, yawns}
-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.
--Come on, baby. I said I like it.
-Donkey, wake up.
-Huh? What?
-Wake up.
-What?
-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?
-Good morning, Princess!
-What's all this about?
-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to
make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
-Uh, thanks.
{Sniffs}
-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.
{Belches}
-Shrek!
-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}
-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.
{Belches}
-Thanks.
-She's as nasty as you are.
-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.
-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.
{Vocalizing}
-La liberte! Hey!
-Princess!
{Laughs}
-What are you doing?
-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from
this green - -
{Kissing sounds}
-beast.
-Hey!
-That's my princess! Go find you own!
-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
-Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!
-Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry
Men.
{Laughs}
{Accordion}
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.
I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
He takes a wee percentage,
But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels
Man, I'm good
What a guy, Monsieur Hood
Break it down
I like an honest fight
and a saucy little maid
What he's basically saying
is he likes to get - -
Paid
So
When an orge in the bush
grabs a lady by the tush
That's bad
That's bad
When a beauty's with a beast
it makes me awfully mad
He's mad
He's really, really mad
I'll take my blade and
ram it through your heart
Keep your eyes on me, boys
'cause I'm about to start
{Grunts, Groans}
{Karate Yell}
{Merry Men Gasping}
{Panting}
-Man, that was annoying!
-Oh, you little- -
{Karate Yell}
{Accordion}
{Shouting, groaning}
{Chuckles}
-Uh, shall we?
-Hold the phone.
{Grunts}
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
-What?
-That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
-Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these
things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt!
-What? Oh, would you look at that?
-Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
-Why? What's wrong?
-Shrek's hurt.
-Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
-Donkey, I'm okay.
-You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep
you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the
Heimlich?
-Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and
find me a blue flower with red thorns.
-Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
-{Both} Donkey!
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
-What are the flowers for?
-For getting rid of Donkey.
-Ah.
-Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.
-Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
-I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
-No, it's tender.
-Now, hold on.
-What you're doing is the opposite of help.
-Don't move.
-Look, time out.
-Would you - -
{Grunts}
-Okay. What do you propose we do?
-Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red
thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue
flower, red thorns.
-Ow!
-Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!
-Ow! Not good.
-Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
{Grunts}
-It's just about - -
-Ow! Ohh!
-Ahem.
-Nothing happend. We were just, uh - -
-Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
-Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was
just- - Ugh!
-Ow!
-Hey, what's that?
{Nervous chickle}
-That's- - Is that blood?
{Sighs}
{Bird chirping}
{Grunts}
My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearin' a raincoat
that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather
-Aah!
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world
that's so damn mean
{Croaks}
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
-Hey!
La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la
{Both laughing}
La-la, la-la, la-la
-There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.
-That's DuLoc?
-Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for
something, which I think means he has a really - - Ow!
-Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on.
-Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey.
{Blubbering}
-What?
-I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good.
-What are you talking about? I'm fine.
-That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on
your back. Dead.
-You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
-Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.
-I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and
when I turn my head like this, look,
{Bones crunch}
-Ow! See?
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
-I'll get the firewood.
-Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any
toes! I think I need a hug.
-Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
-Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.
-No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
-Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I
make a mean weedrat stew.
{Chuckling}
{Sighs}
-I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
{Gulps}
-Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind
of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.
{Chuckles}
-I'd like that.
{Slurps, laughs}
See the pyramids along the Nile
-Um, Princess?
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
-Yes, Shrek?
-I, um, I was wondering.
Just remember, darling all the while
-Are you- -
You belong to me
{Sighs}
-Are you gonna eat that?
{Chuckles}
-Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.
-Sunset?
-Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.
-What?
-Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark,
aren't you?
-Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.
-Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until
- - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
{Shrek sighs}
-Good night.
-Good night.
{Door creaks}
-Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.
-Oh, what are you talkin' about?
-I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts.
And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.
-You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.
-Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in
and tell her how you feel.
-I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that,
well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a
princess, and I'm - -
-An orge?
-Yeah. An orge.
-Hey, where you goin'?
-To get... move firewood.
{Sighs}
-Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?
{Wings fluttering}
-Princess?
{Creaking}
{Gasps}
-It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.
{Screams}
-Aah!
-Oh, no!
-No, help!
-Shh!
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
-No, it's okay. It's okay.
-What did you do with the princess?
-Donkey, I'm the princess.
-Aah!
-It's me, in this body.
-Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me?
-Donkey!
-Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!
-No!
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
-Shh.
-Shrek!
-This is me.
{Muffled mumbling}
-Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.
-I'm ugly, okay?
-Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats
was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - -
-No.
-I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.
-What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.
-It's only happens when sun goes down.
"By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you
find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."
-Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
-It's a spell.
{Sighs}
-When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I
become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to
await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.
{Sobs}
-All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not
that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look
like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.
-But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant
to look.
-Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?
-I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
-But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you
got a lot in common.
-Shrek?
-Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for
me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's
pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might
like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh -
-
{Sighs}
-I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.
-I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I
mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?
"Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here
with Shrek.
{Gasps}
-My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.
{Deep sigh}
-Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only
way to break the spell.
-You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
-No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.
-What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?
-Promise you won't tell. Promise!
-All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know
before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.
-Look at my eye twitchin'.
{Door opens}
{Snoring}
-I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him.
-Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - -
{Snoring}
-Shrek. Are you all right?
-Perfect! Never been better.
-I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.
-You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last
night.
-You heard what I said?
-Every word.
-I thought you'd understand.
-Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly
beast?"
-But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
-Yeah? Well, it does.
{Gasps, sighs}
-Ah, right on time.
{Horse whinnies}
-Princess, I've brought you a little something.
{Fanfare}
{Yawns}
-What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
{Muffled}
-Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.
-Princess Fiona.
-As promised. Now hand it over.
-Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.
-Take it and go before I change my mind.
-Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I
have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad.
-Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.
{Snaps fingers}
-Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell.
-Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the
orge. It's not like it has feelings.
-No, you're right. It doesn't.
-Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in
marriage.
{Gasps}
-Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
-Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - -
-Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
-No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun
sets.
-Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's
so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest
list. Captain, round up some guests!
-Fare-thee-well, orge.
-Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.
-Yeah? So what?
-Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to
her last night, She's - -
-I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?
Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?
-Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.
-I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone!
My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless,
pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!
-But I thought - -
-Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong!
-Shrek.
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya
It goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Baby, I've been here before
I know this room I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
And all I ever learned from love
Is how to shoot at someone
Who outdrew you
{Moaning}
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
{Moaning}
Hallelujah, hallelujah
{Thumping sound}
-Donkey?
{Grunts}
-What are you doing?
-I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see
one.
-Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not
through it.
-It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.
-Oh! Your half. Hmm.
-Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I
get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks
like your head.
-Back off!
-No, you back off.
-This is my swamp!
-Our swamp.
-Let go, Donkey!
-You let go.
-Stubborn jackass!
-Smelly orge.
-Fine!
-Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
-Well, I'm through with you.
-Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess
what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are
mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!
You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.
-Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
-Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!
-Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in
the back!
-Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your
own feelings.
-Go away!
-There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she
ever do was like you, maybe even love you.
-Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of
you talking.
-She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody
else.
-She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?
-Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me.
Right? Right?
-Donkey!
-No!
-Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?
{Sighs}
-I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you
forgive me?
-Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
-Right. Friends?
-Friends.
-So, um, what did Fiona say about me?
-What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?
-The wedding! We'll never make it in time.
-Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I
have a way.
{Whistles}
-Donkey?
-I guess it's just my animal magnetism.
{Laughing}
-Aw, come here, you.
-All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.
All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install
the seat belts yet.
-Whoo!
{Bells tolling}
{All gasping}
-People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union....
-Um-
-of our new king - -
-Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?
{Chuckling}
-Go on.
-Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about
that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't
you?
-What are you talking about?
-There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak
now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!"
-I don't have time for this!
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this
woman, don't you?
-Yes.
-You wanna hold her?
-Yes.
-Please her?
-Yes!
-Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that
romantic crap!
-All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
-We gotta check it out.
-And so, by the power vested in me,
-What do you see?
-The whole town's in there.
-I now pronounce you husband and wife,
-They're at the altar.
-king and queen.
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
-Oh, for the love of Pete!
{Grunts}
-I object!
-Shrek?
{Gasps}
-Oh, now what does he want?
-Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all.
Very clean.
-What are you doing here?
-Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but
showing up uninvited to a wedding - -
-Fiona! I need to talk to you.
-Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll
excuse me - -
-But you can't marry him.
-And why not?
-Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.
-Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
-He's not your true love.
-And what do you know about true love?
-Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - -
-Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess!
Oh, good Lord.
{Crowd laughting}
-An orge and a princess!
-Shrek, is this true?
-Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away
from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! Mmmmm!
-"By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before.
{Whimpers}
{Crown gasping}
-Well, uh, that explains a lot.
-Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of
my sight now! Get them! Get them both!
-No, no!
-Shrek!
-This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that
makes me king! See? See?
-No, let go of me! Shrek!
-No!
-Don't just stand there, you morons.
-Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh!
-I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and
quartered!
-You'll beg for death to save you!
-No, Shrek!
-And as for you, my wife,
-Fiona!
-I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!
-I'm king!
{Whistles}
-I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah!
-Aah!
-All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to
use it.
{Roars}
-I'm a donkey on the edge!
{Belches}
-Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
{Cheering}
-Go ahead, Shrek.
-Uh, Fiona?
-Yes, Shrek?
-I - - I love you.
-Really?
-Really, really.
- I love you too.
-Aawww!
-"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true
form."
-"Take love's true form. Take love's true form."
-Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?
-Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
-But you ARE beautiful.
{Chuckles}
-I was hoping this would be a happy ending.
I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Oy!
Meant for someone else but not for me
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams
And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer and not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
Ooh-aah
I'm a believer I couldn't leave her
If I tried
-God bless us, every one.
Come on, y'all!
Then I saw her face
Ha-ha
Now I'm a believer
Listen!
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
Ooh-aah
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried
-Ooh!
-Uh!
Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Hey!
Not a trace
Uhh! Yeah.
Of doubt in my mind
-One more time!
I'm in love
I'm a believer
Come on!
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe,
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
Y'all sing it with me!
I
Believe
I believe
People in the back!
I believe
I'm a believer
I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe
{Hysterical laughing}
-Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.
-I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
I believe in self-assertion
Destiny or a slight diversion
Now it seems I've got my head on straight
I'm a freak an apparition
Seems I've made the right decision
To try to turn back now it might be too late
Now I want to stay home today
Don't wanna go out
If anyone comes to play
Gonna get thrown out
I wanna stay home today
Don't want no company
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna be a millionaire someday
But know what it feels like to give it away
Watch me march to the beat of my own drum
And it's off to the moon and then back again
Same old day Same situation
My happiness rears back as if to say
I wanna stay home today
Don't wanna go out
If anyone comes to play
Gonna get thrown out
I wanna stay home today
Don't want no company
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home.........
I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes
My heart skips a beat
Girl, I feel so alive
Please tell me, baby, if all this is true
'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you
Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna dance
Oh-oh-oh
It's a new romance
Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyes
Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our lives
When we first met
I could hardly believe
The things that would happen
and we could achieve
So let's be together
for all of our time
Oh, girl, I'm so thankful
that you are still mine
You always consider me
like an ugly duckling
And treat me like a Nostradamus
was why I had to get my shine on
I break a little something
to keep my mind on
'Cause you had my mind gone
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh
Turn the lights on, Come on, baby
Let's just rewind the song
'Cause all I want to do is
make the rest years the best years
All night long
Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna dance
Makes me wanna dance
Oh-oh-oh
It's a new romance
It's a new romance
Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyes
Oh, yeah, yeah
I look into your eyes
Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our lives
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..............
Everything looks bright
Standing in your light
Everything feels right
What's left is out of sight
What's a girl to do
I'm telling you
You're on my mind
I wanna be with you
'Cause when you're
standin' next to me
It's like wow
And all your kisses
seem to set me free
It's like wow
And when we touch
it's such a rush
I can't get enough
It's like- - It's like
Ooh-ooh
Hey, what
It's like wow
Ooh-ooh, hey
Hey, yeah
It's like wow
Everything is looking
right now, right now
It's like wow
And I got this feeling
This feeling
it's just like wow
It's just like wow
You are all I'm thinking of.
Like wow
Everything feels right
Everything feels right
Like wow
Everything looks bright
All my senses are right
Like wow
Everything feels right
Baby, baby, baby
the way I'm feeling you
Is like wow
There is something
that I see
In the way
you look at me
There's a smile
There's a truth
In your eyes
What an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it be
This is where I belong
It is you I have loved
All long
There's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home
my heart's searched for
So long
It is you I have loved
All long
Whoa, over and over
I'm filled with emotion
As I look
Into your perfect face
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only
be broken by love's first kiss.
She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing
dragon.
Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,
but non prevailed.
She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest
tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.
{Laughing}
Like that's ever gonna happen.
{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}
What a load of -
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'
Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey, now You're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin' stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait till you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire
How 'bout yours
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored
Hey, now, you're an all-star
{Shouting}
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin' stars break the mold
{Belches}
Go!
Go!
{Record Scratching}
Go. Go.Go.
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey, now You're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shootin' stars break the mold
-Think it's in there?
-All right. Let's get it!
-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.
{Laughs}
-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.
Now, ogres - - They're much worse.
They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
-No!
-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!
Actually, it's quite good on toast.
-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
{Gasping}
-Right.
{Roaring}
{Shouting}
{Roaring}
{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.
{Gasping}
{Laughs}
{Laughing} And stay out!
"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."
{Sighs}
{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.
-Take it away!
{Gasps}
-Move it along. Come on! Get up!
-Next!
-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
-Get up! Come on!
-Twenty pieces.
{Thudding}
-Sit down there!
-Keep quiet!
{Crying}
-This cage is too small.
-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.
I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
-Oh, shut up.
-Oh!
-Next!
-What have you got?
-This little wooden puppet.
-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
-Father, please! Don't let them do this!
-Help me!
-Next! What have you got?
-Well, I've got a talking donkey.
{Grunts}
-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
-Oh, go ahead, little fella.
-Well?
-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.
He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -
-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.
I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
-Get her out of my sight.
-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!
{Gasps}
-Hey! I can fly!
-He can fly!
-He can fly!
-He can talk!
-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!
Oh-oh.
{Grunts}
-Seize him!
-After him! He's getting away!
{Grunts, Gasps}
{Man}
-Get him! This way! Turn!
-You there. Orge!
-Aye?
-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under
arrest
and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.
-Oh, really? You and what army?
{Gasps, Whimpering}
{Chuckles}
-Can I say something to you?
-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.
Incredible!
Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!
-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great
back here? Those guards!
They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They
was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made
me feel good to see that.
joe_durk shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
-Oh, that's great. Really.
-Man, it's good to be free.
-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?
Hmm?
-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by
myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.
You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit
out of anybody that crosses us.
{Roaring}
-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that
don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you
definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!
You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -
{Mumbling}
Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my
butt that day.
-Why are you following me?
-I'll tell you why.
'Cause I'm all alone
There's no one here beside me
My promlems have all gone
There's no one to deride me
But you gotta heve friends - -
-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.
-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.
-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?
-Uh - - Really tall?
-No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't
that bother you?
-Nope.
-Really?
-Really, really.
-Oh.
-Man, I like you. What's you name?
-Uh, Shrek.
-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?
You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.
I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.
Who'd want to live in place like that?
-That would be my home.
-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a
decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I
like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?
-I like my privacy.
-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I
hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them
a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.
-Can I stay with you?
-Uh, what?
-Can I stay with you, please?
-Of course!
-Really?
-No.
-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to
be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta
stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
-Okay! Okay! But one night only.
-Ah! Thank you!
-What are you - - No! No!
-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,
and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.
-Oh!
-Where do, uh, I sleep?
-Outside!
-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you
don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.
{Sniffles}
-Here I go.
-Good night.
{Sighs}
-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside.
I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself,
outside.
I'm all alone
There's no one here beside me
{Bubbling}
{Sighs}
{Creaking}
{Sighs}
-I thought I told you to stay outside.
-I'm outside.
{Clattering}
-Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we
have?
-It's not home, but it'll do just fune.
-What a lovely bed.
-Got ya.
{Sniffs} I found some cheese.
-Ow! {Grunts}
-Blah! Awful stuff.
-Is that you, Gorder?
-How did you know?
-Enough! What are you doing in my house?
{Grunts}
-Hey!
{Snickers}
-Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table.
-Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.
-Huh?
{Gusps}
{Male voice} What?
-I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I
have to do get a little privacy?
-Aah!
-Oh, no. No! No!
{Cackling}
-What?
-Quit it.
-Don't push.
{Squeaking}
{Lows}
- What are you doing in my swamp?
{Echoing}
Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!
{Gasping}
-Oh, dear!
-Whoa!
-All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go!
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!
-Quickly. Come on!
-No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there.
-Oh!
{Sighs}
-Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.
-Oh, gosh, no one invited us.
-What?
-We were forced to come here.
-By who?
-Lord Farquaad.
-He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice.
{Sighs}
-All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?
{Murmuring}
-Oh, I do. I know where he is.
-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all?
-Me! Me!
-Anyone?
-Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!
{Sighs}
-Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy
Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came
from!
{Cheering}
{Twittering}
-Oh! You! You're comin' with me.
- All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two
stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it!
-On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek.
-Hey. Oh, oh!
-I can't wait to get on the road again.
-What did I say about singing?
-Can I whistle?
-No.
-Can I hum it?
-All right, hum it.
{Humming}
{Grunts}
{Whimpering}
-That's enough. He's ready to talk.
{Coughing}
{Laughing}
{Clears throat}
-Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the
gingerbread man!
-You are a monster.
-I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy
tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the
others?
-Eat me!{Grunts}
-I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached
its end! Tell me or I'll - -
-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons.
-All right then. Who's hiding them?
-Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
-The muffin man?
-The muffin man.
-Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?
-Well, she's married to the muffin man.
-The muffin man?
-The muffin man!
-She's married to the muffin man.
{Door opens}
-My lord! We found it.
-Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
{Man grunting}
{Gasping}
-Oh!
-Magic mirror - -
-Don't tell him anything!
-No!
{Ginerbread man whispers}
-Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect
kingdom of them all?
-Well, technically you're not a king.
-Uh, Thelonius.
-You were saying?
-What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All
you have to do is marry a princess.
-Go on.
{Chuckles}
-So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to
meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette
number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.
She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking
and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella.
-Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of
fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just
kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come
on. Give it up for Snow White!
-And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a
fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling
lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes
pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing,
Princess Fiona!
-So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or
bachelorette number three?
-Two! Two!
-Three! Three!
-Two! Two!
-Three!
-Three? One?
{Shudders} Three?
--Three! Pick number three, my lord!
-Okay, okay, uh, number three!
-Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.
If you like pina coladas
And getting caught in the rain
-Princess Fiona.
If you're not into yoga
-She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - -
-But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.
-I'll do it.
-Yes, but after sunset - -
-Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will
finally have the perfect king!
Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.
-But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd
find it.
-So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.
-Uh-huh. That's the place.
-Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
{Laughs}
{Groans}
-Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek.
-Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry.
-Hey, you!
{Screams}
-Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - -
{Whimpering}
{Sighs}
{Whimpering, Groans}
{Turnstile clatters}
{Chuckles}
{Sighs}
-It's quiet. Too quiet.
{Creaking}
-Where is everybody?
-Hey, look at this!
{Clattering, whirring, clicking}
Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town
Here we have some rules
Let us lay them down
Don't make waves, stay in line
And we'll get along fine
DuLoc is perfect place
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face
DuLoc is, DuLoc is
DuLoc is perfect ...... place
{Camera shutter clicks
{Whirring}
-Wow! Let's do that again!
-No. No. No, no, no! No.
{Trumpet fanfare}
{Crowd cheering}
-Brave knights.
-You are the best and brightest in all the land.
-Today one of you shall prove himself - -
-All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom.
-Sorry about that.
{Cheering}
-That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go
forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the
dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae
die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.
{Cheering}
-Let the tournament begin!
{Gasps}
-Oh!
-What is that?
{Gasping}
-It's hideous!
-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.
-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named
champion! Have it him!
-Get him!
-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.
-Go ahead! Get him!
-Can't we just settle this over a pint?
-Kill the beast!
-No? All right then. Come on!
I don't give a damn about my reputation
You're living in the past
It's a new generation
-Damn!
{Whinnying}
A girl can do what she wants to do
And that's what I'm gonna do
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
Me, me, me
-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
-Ah!
{Laughs}
And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun
-Yeah!
And I don't have to please no one
-The chair! Give him the chair!
And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me
Me, me, me
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me
{Bell dings}
{Cheering}
{Laughs}
-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till
Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!
{Shrek laughs}
{Crowd gasping, murmuring}
-Shall I give the order, sir?
-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!
-What?
-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great
and noble quest.
-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.
-Your swamp?
-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!
{Crowd murmuring}
-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for
me, and I'll give you your swamp back.
-Exactly the way it was?
-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
-And the squatters?
-As good as gone.
-What kind of quest?
-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a
princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only
don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.
-Is that about right?
-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on
him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make
your bread, the whole orge trip.
-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and
put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and
drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
-Uh, no, not really, no.
-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.
-Example?
-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.
-{Sniffs} They stink?
-Yes - - No!
-They make you cry?
-No!
-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little
white hairs.
-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have
layers. You get it? We both have layers.
{Sighs}
-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes
onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.
-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.
-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a
person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like
no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like
onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.
-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or
something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start
slobbering.
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you give to me the day I wander
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?
-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was
open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's
brimstone We must be getting close.
-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I
know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone
neither.
{Rumbling}
-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.
{Laughing}
-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?
-Oh, aye.
-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have
layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.
-Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
-You know what I mean.
-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.
-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over
a boiling like of lava!
-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional
support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step
at a time.
-Really?
-Really, really.
-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
-Just keep moving. And don't look down.
-Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on
moving. Don't look down.
{Gasps}
-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off,
please!
-But you're already halfway.
-But I know that half is safe!
-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.
-Shrek, no! Wait!
-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?
-Don't do that!
-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?
-Oh, this?
-Yes, that!
-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.
{Screams}
-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!
-You said do it! I'm doin' it.
-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!
-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
-Cool.
-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
{Chuckles}
-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
{Water dripping, wind howling}
-You afraid?
-No.
-But - -
- Shh.
-Oh, good. Me neither.
{Gasps}
-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible
response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I
might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and
breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little
scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.
{Gasps}
-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if
you can find any stairs.
-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.
-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest
tower.
-What makes you think she'll be there?
-I read it in a book once.
-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those
stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way
they're goin'.
{Creacing}
-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with
me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a
step right here. I'd step all over it.
-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - -
-Dragon!
{Screams}
{Gasps}
{Roars}
-Donkey, look out!
{Screams}
{Whimpering}
-Got ya!
{Roars}
{Gasps}
{Shouts}
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
{Screaming}
{Gasps}
-Oh! Aah! Aah!
{Gasping}
{Crowls}
-No. Oh, no, No!
{Screams}
-Oh, what large teeth you have.
{Crowls}
-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time
from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile
you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know
what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of
course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty.
What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.
Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - -
(Coughs)
-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna
blow smoke rings. Shrek!
{Gasps}
{Whimpering}
-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
{Groans, Sighs}
{Vocalizing}
-Oh! Oh!
-Wake up!
-What?
-Are you Princess Fiona?
-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.
-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!
-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be
a wonderful, romantic moment?
-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out
yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.
-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?
-Mm-hmm.
{Screams, grunts}
-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for
me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!
-I don't think so.
-Can I at least know the name of my champion?
-Um, Shrek.
-Sir Shrek.
{Cleans throat}
-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.
-Thanks!
{Roaring}
-You didn't slay the dragon?
-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
{Screams}
-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,
banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.
-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.
-That's not the point. Oh!
-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.
-Well, I have to save my ass.
-What kind of knight are you?
-One of a kind.
-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to
know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.
{Laughs}
-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not
emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really
is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted
physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back
up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to
know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot,
but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - -
Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna
tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with
that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!
{Growls}
{Roaring}
{Gasps}
-Hi, Princess!
-It talks!
-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.
{Screams}
{Screaming}
-Oh!
{Thuds}
{Groans}
{Roars}
{Roaring}
-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.
{Fchoing}
-Run!
{Gasping}
{Screaming}
{Roaring}
{Screams}
{Roars}
{Panting, sighs}
{Whimpers}
{Roars}
-You did it!
-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful.
You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and
thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
{Clears throat}
-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a
steed.
-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
-Uh, no.
-Why not?
-I have helmet hair.
-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.
-But how will you kiss me?
-What? That wasn't in the job description.
-Maybe it's a perk.
-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in
a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then
they share true love's first kiss.
-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you
true love?
-Well, yes.
{Laughing}
-You think Shrek is your true love!
-What is so funny?
-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?
-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your
helmet.
-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.
-Just take off the helmet.
-I'm not going to.
-Take ot off.
-No!
-Now!
-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.
-You- - You're a- - an orge.
-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.
-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed
to be an orge.
{Sighs}
-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the
one who wants to marry you.
-Then why didn't he come rescue me?
-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.
-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- -
his pet.
-So much for noble steed.
-You're not making my job any easier.
-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right
here.
-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.
-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!
-Ya comin', Donkey?
-I'm right behind ya.
-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not
dignified! Put me down!
-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you,
right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down
real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a
crisp and eaten?
-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what
happens when you find your - - Hey!
{Sighs}
-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.
-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!
-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?
-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in
short supply.
{Laughs}
-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.
-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never
measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the
"measuring" when you see him tomorrow.
-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
-But there's robbers in the woods.
-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.
-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this
forest.
-I need to find somewhere to camp now!
{Birds wings fluttering}
{Grunting}
-Hey! Over here.
-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a
princess.
-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.
-Homey touches? Like what?
{Crashing}
-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.
-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.
-I said good night!
-Shrek, What are you doing?
{Laughs}
-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.
{Fire cracking}
-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over
three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.
-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?
-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,
there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.
-I know you're making this up.
-No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away
from his stench.
-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.
-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?
Forget it.
{Sighs}
-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?
-Our swamp?
-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.
-We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my
swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my
land.
-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what
I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody
out.
-No, do ya think?
-Are you hidin' something?
-Never mind, Donkey.
-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?
-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.
-Why don't you want to talk about it?
-Why do you want to talk about it?
-Why are you blocking?
-I'm not blocking.
-Oh, yes, you are.
-Donkey, I'm warning you.
-Who you trying to keep out?
-Everyone! Okay?
-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.
-Oh! For the love of Pete!
-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?
-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that
seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.
"Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they
even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big,
stupid, ugly orge.
-Yeah, I know.
-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one
there?
-That's the moon.
-Oh, okay.
{Orchestra}
{Dulcimer}
-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the
princess.
-Hmph.
-Ah. Perfect.
{Inhales}
{Snoring}
{Vocalizing}
{Whistling}
{Sizzling}
{Sniffs, yawns}
-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.
--Come on, baby. I said I like it.
-Donkey, wake up.
-Huh? What?
-Wake up.
-What?
-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?
-Good morning, Princess!
-What's all this about?
-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to
make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
-Uh, thanks.
{Sniffs}
-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.
{Belches}
-Shrek!
-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}
-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.
{Belches}
-Thanks.
-She's as nasty as you are.
-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.
-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.
{Vocalizing}
-La liberte! Hey!
-Princess!
{Laughs}
-What are you doing?
-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from
this green - -
{Kissing sounds}
-beast.
-Hey!
-That's my princess! Go find you own!
-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?
-Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!
-Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry
Men.
{Laughs}
{Accordion}
Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo.
I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
He takes a wee percentage,
But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels
Man, I'm good
What a guy, Monsieur Hood
Break it down
I like an honest fight
and a saucy little maid
What he's basically saying
is he likes to get - -
Paid
So
When an orge in the bush
grabs a lady by the tush
That's bad
That's bad
When a beauty's with a beast
it makes me awfully mad
He's mad
He's really, really mad
I'll take my blade and
ram it through your heart
Keep your eyes on me, boys
'cause I'm about to start
{Grunts, Groans}
{Karate Yell}
{Merry Men Gasping}
{Panting}
-Man, that was annoying!
-Oh, you little- -
{Karate Yell}
{Accordion}
{Shouting, groaning}
{Chuckles}
-Uh, shall we?
-Hold the phone.
{Grunts}
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from?
-What?
-That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that?
-Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these
things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt!
-What? Oh, would you look at that?
-Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
-Why? What's wrong?
-Shrek's hurt.
-Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.
-Donkey, I'm okay.
-You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep
you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the
Heimlich?
-Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and
find me a blue flower with red thorns.
-Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.
Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!
-{Both} Donkey!
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns.
-What are the flowers for?
-For getting rid of Donkey.
-Ah.
-Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.
-Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
-I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
-No, it's tender.
-Now, hold on.
-What you're doing is the opposite of help.
-Don't move.
-Look, time out.
-Would you - -
{Grunts}
-Okay. What do you propose we do?
-Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red
thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue
flower, red thorns.
-Ow!
-Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!
-Ow! Not good.
-Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head.
{Grunts}
-It's just about - -
-Ow! Ohh!
-Ahem.
-Nothing happend. We were just, uh - -
-Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay?
-Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was
just- - Ugh!
-Ow!
-Hey, what's that?
{Nervous chickle}
-That's- - Is that blood?
{Sighs}
{Bird chirping}
{Grunts}
My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearin' a raincoat
that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather
-Aah!
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world
that's so damn mean
{Croaks}
Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
-Hey!
La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la
{Both laughing}
La-la, la-la, la-la
-There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.
-That's DuLoc?
-Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for
something, which I think means he has a really - - Ow!
-Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on.
-Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey.
{Blubbering}
-What?
-I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good.
-What are you talking about? I'm fine.
-That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on
your back. Dead.
-You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?
-Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.
-I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and
when I turn my head like this, look,
{Bones crunch}
-Ow! See?
-Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
-I'll get the firewood.
-Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any
toes! I think I need a hug.
-Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
-Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style.
-No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
-Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I
make a mean weedrat stew.
{Chuckling}
{Sighs}
-I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
{Gulps}
-Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind
of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.
{Chuckles}
-I'd like that.
{Slurps, laughs}
See the pyramids along the Nile
-Um, Princess?
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
-Yes, Shrek?
-I, um, I was wondering.
Just remember, darling all the while
-Are you- -
You belong to me
{Sighs}
-Are you gonna eat that?
{Chuckles}
-Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.
-Sunset?
-Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.
-What?
-Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark,
aren't you?
-Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.
-Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until
- - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
{Shrek sighs}
-Good night.
-Good night.
{Door creaks}
-Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.
-Oh, what are you talkin' about?
-I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts.
And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.
-You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.
-Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in
and tell her how you feel.
-I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that,
well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a
princess, and I'm - -
-An orge?
-Yeah. An orge.
-Hey, where you goin'?
-To get... move firewood.
{Sighs}
-Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?
{Wings fluttering}
-Princess?
{Creaking}
{Gasps}
-It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.
{Screams}
-Aah!
-Oh, no!
-No, help!
-Shh!
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
-No, it's okay. It's okay.
-What did you do with the princess?
-Donkey, I'm the princess.
-Aah!
-It's me, in this body.
-Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me?
-Donkey!
-Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!
-No!
-Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
-Shh.
-Shrek!
-This is me.
{Muffled mumbling}
-Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.
-I'm ugly, okay?
-Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats
was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - -
-No.
-I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.
-What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.
-It's only happens when sun goes down.
"By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you
find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."
-Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
-It's a spell.
{Sighs}
-When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I
become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to
await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry
Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.
{Sobs}
-All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not
that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look
like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.
-But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant
to look.
-Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?
-I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.
-But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you
got a lot in common.
-Shrek?
-Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for
me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's
pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might
like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh -
-
{Sighs}
-I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.
-I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I
mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?
"Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here
with Shrek.
{Gasps}
-My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.
{Deep sigh}
-Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only
way to break the spell.
-You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
-No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.
-What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?
-Promise you won't tell. Promise!
-All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know
before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.
-Look at my eye twitchin'.
{Door opens}
{Snoring}
-I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him.
-Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - -
{Snoring}
-Shrek. Are you all right?
-Perfect! Never been better.
-I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.
-You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last
night.
-You heard what I said?
-Every word.
-I thought you'd understand.
-Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly
beast?"
-But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.
-Yeah? Well, it does.
{Gasps, sighs}
-Ah, right on time.
{Horse whinnies}
-Princess, I've brought you a little something.
{Fanfare}
{Yawns}
-What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
{Muffled}
-Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.
-Princess Fiona.
-As promised. Now hand it over.
-Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.
-Take it and go before I change my mind.
-Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I
have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad.
-Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.
{Snaps fingers}
-Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell.
-Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the
orge. It's not like it has feelings.
-No, you're right. It doesn't.
-Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in
marriage.
{Gasps}
-Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
-Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - -
-Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
-No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun
sets.
-Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's
so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest
list. Captain, round up some guests!
-Fare-thee-well, orge.
-Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.
-Yeah? So what?
-Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to
her last night, She's - -
-I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?
Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?
-Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.
-I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone!
My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless,
pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!
-But I thought - -
-Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong!
-Shrek.
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya
It goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall the major lift
The baffled king composing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Baby, I've been here before
I know this room I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
And all I ever learned from love
Is how to shoot at someone
Who outdrew you
{Moaning}
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
{Moaning}
Hallelujah, hallelujah
{Thumping sound}
-Donkey?
{Grunts}
-What are you doing?
-I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see
one.
-Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not
through it.
-It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.
-Oh! Your half. Hmm.
-Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I
get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks
like your head.
-Back off!
-No, you back off.
-This is my swamp!
-Our swamp.
-Let go, Donkey!
-You let go.
-Stubborn jackass!
-Smelly orge.
-Fine!
-Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
-Well, I'm through with you.
-Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess
what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are
mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!
You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.
-Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
-Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!
-Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in
the back!
-Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your
own feelings.
-Go away!
-There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she
ever do was like you, maybe even love you.
-Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of
you talking.
-She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody
else.
-She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?
-Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me.
Right? Right?
-Donkey!
-No!
-Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right?
{Sighs}
-I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you
forgive me?
-Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
-Right. Friends?
-Friends.
-So, um, what did Fiona say about me?
-What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?
-The wedding! We'll never make it in time.
-Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I
have a way.
{Whistles}
-Donkey?
-I guess it's just my animal magnetism.
{Laughing}
-Aw, come here, you.
-All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.
All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install
the seat belts yet.
-Whoo!
{Bells tolling}
{All gasping}
-People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union....
-Um-
-of our new king - -
-Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?
{Chuckling}
-Go on.
-Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about
that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't
you?
-What are you talking about?
-There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak
now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!"
-I don't have time for this!
-Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this
woman, don't you?
-Yes.
-You wanna hold her?
-Yes.
-Please her?
-Yes!
-Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that
romantic crap!
-All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?
-We gotta check it out.
-And so, by the power vested in me,
-What do you see?
-The whole town's in there.
-I now pronounce you husband and wife,
-They're at the altar.
-king and queen.
-Mother Fletcher! He already said it.
-Oh, for the love of Pete!
{Grunts}
-I object!
-Shrek?
{Gasps}
-Oh, now what does he want?
-Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all.
Very clean.
-What are you doing here?
-Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but
showing up uninvited to a wedding - -
-Fiona! I need to talk to you.
-Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll
excuse me - -
-But you can't marry him.
-And why not?
-Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.
-Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
-He's not your true love.
-And what do you know about true love?
-Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - -
-Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess!
Oh, good Lord.
{Crowd laughting}
-An orge and a princess!
-Shrek, is this true?
-Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away
from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! Mmmmm!
-"By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before.
{Whimpers}
{Crown gasping}
-Well, uh, that explains a lot.
-Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of
my sight now! Get them! Get them both!
-No, no!
-Shrek!
-This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that
makes me king! See? See?
-No, let go of me! Shrek!
-No!
-Don't just stand there, you morons.
-Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh!
-I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and
quartered!
-You'll beg for death to save you!
-No, Shrek!
-And as for you, my wife,
-Fiona!
-I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!
-I'm king!
{Whistles}
-I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah!
-Aah!
-All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to
use it.
{Roars}
-I'm a donkey on the edge!
{Belches}
-Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?
{Cheering}
-Go ahead, Shrek.
-Uh, Fiona?
-Yes, Shrek?
-I - - I love you.
-Really?
-Really, really.
- I love you too.
-Aawww!
-"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true
form."
-"Take love's true form. Take love's true form."
-Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right?
-Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
-But you ARE beautiful.
{Chuckles}
-I was hoping this would be a happy ending.
I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Oy!
Meant for someone else but not for me
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams
And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer and not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
Ooh-aah
I'm a believer I couldn't leave her
If I tried
-God bless us, every one.
Come on, y'all!
Then I saw her face
Ha-ha
Now I'm a believer
Listen!
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
Ooh-aah
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried
-Ooh!
-Uh!
Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Hey!
Not a trace
Uhh! Yeah.
Of doubt in my mind
-One more time!
I'm in love
I'm a believer
Come on!
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe,
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey
Y'all sing it with me!
I
Believe
I believe
People in the back!
I believe
I'm a believer
I believe
I believe
I believe
I believe
{Hysterical laughing}
-Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh.
-I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
I believe in self-assertion
Destiny or a slight diversion
Now it seems I've got my head on straight
I'm a freak an apparition
Seems I've made the right decision
To try to turn back now it might be too late
Now I want to stay home today
Don't wanna go out
If anyone comes to play
Gonna get thrown out
I wanna stay home today
Don't want no company
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna be a millionaire someday
But know what it feels like to give it away
Watch me march to the beat of my own drum
And it's off to the moon and then back again
Same old day Same situation
My happiness rears back as if to say
I wanna stay home today
Don't wanna go out
If anyone comes to play
Gonna get thrown out
I wanna stay home today
Don't want no company
No way
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home.........
I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes
My heart skips a beat
Girl, I feel so alive
Please tell me, baby, if all this is true
'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you
Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna dance
Oh-oh-oh
It's a new romance
Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyes
Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our lives
When we first met
I could hardly believe
The things that would happen
and we could achieve
So let's be together
for all of our time
Oh, girl, I'm so thankful
that you are still mine
You always consider me
like an ugly duckling
And treat me like a Nostradamus
was why I had to get my shine on
I break a little something
to keep my mind on
'Cause you had my mind gone
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh
Turn the lights on, Come on, baby
Let's just rewind the song
'Cause all I want to do is
make the rest years the best years
All night long
Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna dance
Makes me wanna dance
Oh-oh-oh
It's a new romance
It's a new romance
Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyes
Oh, yeah, yeah
I look into your eyes
Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our lives
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..............
Everything looks bright
Standing in your light
Everything feels right
What's left is out of sight
What's a girl to do
I'm telling you
You're on my mind
I wanna be with you
'Cause when you're
standin' next to me
It's like wow
And all your kisses
seem to set me free
It's like wow
And when we touch
it's such a rush
I can't get enough
It's like- - It's like
Ooh-ooh
Hey, what
It's like wow
Ooh-ooh, hey
Hey, yeah
It's like wow
Everything is looking
right now, right now
It's like wow
And I got this feeling
This feeling
it's just like wow
It's just like wow
You are all I'm thinking of.
Like wow
Everything feels right
Everything feels right
Like wow
Everything looks bright
All my senses are right
Like wow
Everything feels right
Baby, baby, baby
the way I'm feeling you
Is like wow
There is something
that I see
In the way
you look at me
There's a smile
There's a truth
In your eyes
What an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it be
This is where I belong
It is you I have loved
All long
There's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home
my heart's searched for
So long
It is you I have loved
All long
Whoa, over and over
I'm filled with emotion
As I look
Into your perfect face
NotRealAtAll has won the match 6 - 6 against Mewzzy.
capsav☾: ah
BWYancy: what the heck?
Cs2581604: the one who uses explosion loses.
Legend101 has won the match 6 - 6 against RasterSucks.
JuiceCITY has drawn the match 6 - 6 against ASH KATCH THEM but the tournament does not support drawing, so it did not count.
dugtrio is a trap: wassup
LukeMason: Was NOT expecting the battle animations to be what killed me.
BWYancy: well
BWYancy: blitz sucks
lesbian socks: battles go to last mon who dies so self destruct moves ends with a loss
MKiSS has lost the match 6 - 6 against TechnoGenji.
Vaydren: My opponent ran out of time before the battle started feelsbadman
awesomenessguy has lost the match 6 - 6 against Justin frog.
Vaydren has lost the match 6 - 6 against dugtrio is a trap.
NessWillBy └
┘: feels bad
capsav☾: sad
Sacradle has won the match 6 - 4 against GeoffBruedly.
Galarian sith has lost the match 0 - 2 against NotRealAtAll.
Classroom Rito has won the match 6 - 6 against ZippityZ.
Sacradle has lost the match 0 - 2 against Director X.
p0ip0le ∆ has won the match 3 - 0 against DrReun͜͡iclus3.
St Eva Church has won the match 4 - 2 against ghoover.
Legend101 has lost the match 0 - 1 against Classroom Rito.
lowincomesingledad has lost the match 0 - 1 against Pigler.
ang└★┘ has won the match 2 - 0 against aura luna.
ang└★┘ has lost the match 0 - 6 against Crisostomo Ibarra.
BlanchedAlmond has won the match 2 - 0 against p0ip0le ∆.
JuiceCITY has won the match 6 - 5 against ASH KATCH THEM.
NessWillBy └┘: did ang lose alrea-
NessWillBy └┘: oh
Pigler: this is chaos and i love it
+ang└★┘: wtf i aint losin quick
Uh0hSpaghetti0s has won the match 4 - 0 against dalekdecember1963.
St Eva Church has won the match 3 - 0 against Pigler.
Vaydren: bruh this is so insane
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: blitz sucks
dugtrio is a trap: wassup
capsav☾: nm
+ang└★┘: i got swpet aura ;(
+ang└★┘: ew ugly emoji eyes
+ang└★┘: :(*
EagleSoaring: had to do something and the timer was so short, oh well
dugtrio is a trap: i only won by the timer
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: oof
dugtrio is a trap: lol
Director X has won the match 3 - 0 against Crisostomo Ibarra.
NessWillBy └┘: ang:wtf i aint losin quick } also ang: gg
Heraacrossman has lost the match 1 - 1 against Baby come back c.
Ho-oh's Savior has been disqualified from the tournament.
+ang└★┘: in the span of 5 min :(
Legend101: I swear I feel like my blood pressure was rising
NessWillBy └┘: damn thats sad
dugtrio is a trap has won the match 4 - 5 against Baby come back c.
JuiceCITY has won the match 2 - 0 against TechnoGenji.
Aariz Anas: ~~lol~~~
WaterZard: Ness what is your issue with ang
Aariz Anas: help I'm drowning
NessWillBy └┘: me seeing ang lose as a member of ang gang: BREAKDOWN breakdown
NotRealAtAll has lost the match 5 - 3 against Uh0hSpaghetti0s.
Legend101: aura luna why think that blitz double is a good idea? why? smh
Classroom Rito: ang did u lose
Aura luna: :)
Galarian sith: noo
NessWillBy └┘: aura dont smile to me.
Aariz Anas: I thought stew and soup were the same thing?
%piaa: it's a fun tour :)
BlanchedAlmond has lost the match 0 - 1 against Justin frog.
NessWillBy └┘: and dont bully me
+ang└★┘: ** :) *
capsav☾: apparently you like to watch people suffer aura luna
+ang└★┘: that's the most formatting i can do
+ang└★┘: im cursed
%piaa: not at all, Aariz Anas
+ang└★┘: petition to whitelist me and let me use bold
NessWillBy └┘: piaa shroomish stew
dugtrio is a trap has won the match 5 - 4 against Classroom Rito.
capsav☾: stew is not soup for some reason
NessWillBy └┘: shroomish is a mushroom, mushroom stew, shroomish stew
Legend101: nice
Aura luna: Idt I can promote to whitelist
Baby come back c: this gave me a seizure
Aariz Anas: stew is just denser soup
Aura luna: gotta ask an ro for that
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: lol i won cus of blitz
Mariannabelle✧♡: luna
You joined Lobby [autoconfirmed or higher to talk]
Welcome to Lobby!
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Click for room rules!
Poll 540 votes Which statement is MOST true?
1. Soup is just wet stew (323 votes)
60%
2. Stew is just dry soup (217 votes)
40%
Aura luna: Mari
NessWillBy └┘: wdym aura
Director X has won the match 4 - 4 against St Eva Church.
Crisostomo Ibarra: charm
Mariannabelle✧♡: look at me luna
Aura luna: I am
+ang└★┘: wait is there a whitelist for bold and stuff?
Aura luna: And always will be
Mariannabelle✧♡: look closer luna
Galarian sith: i lost to inverse
Aura luna: :eyes:
+ang└★┘: i don't remmeber there being one but i am.. outdated
Uh0hSpaghetti0s has lost the match 0 - 4 against JuiceCITY.
Cs2581604: Which is the better video game cat? Bob or Nolegs?
Legend101: wait it was inverse?
NessWillBy └┘: :eyes: :mouth: :eyes:
capsav☾: yes
capsav☾: it is inverse
Mariannabelle✧♡: my efforts have been rewarded luna
Legend101: whaaat????
capsav☾: dang
Legend101: I didn't even know cause I had like 10 seconds
Vaydren: I was wondering why i did minimal damage lol
NessWillBy └┘: ang there is a bold white list
TheGalacticDrake: Who wants to battle
capsav☾: it was an added rule
capsav☾: rip
Legend101: aura luna ur even worse than I thought
+ang└★┘: the random types through me off
NessWillBy └┘: and some ppl can do the green text thing
Aura luna: Capsav does it let you evade banwords?
NessWillBy └┘: they bully us with it ;(
TheGalacticDrake: Hello?
capsav☾: aura luna what does?
Aura luna: Whitelist
capsav☾: nah
dugtrio is a trap: wassup
Aura luna: Ah the bold wouldn’t work
Aura luna: *then
TheGalacticDrake: Hi lobby
dugtrio is a trap: blitz is a nightmare
Director X has won the match 3 - 0 against Justin frog.
capsav☾: banwords probably shouldn't be said in the first place
dugtrio is a trap: espciall with inverse
lesbian socks: I'll play monos if you want TheGalacticDrake
NessWillBy └┘: TheGalacticDrake whaddup bro
TheGalacticDrake: Hi guys
capsav☾: hi
Legend101: what's up?
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: lol i died
TheGalacticDrake: Ok
NessWillBy └┘: somebody touch mah SPAGHET
JuiceCITY has won the match 6 - 4 against dugtrio is a trap.
NessWillBy └┘: break the chair, its a face but no face, this spaghet taste like PISS
capsav☾: whitelist basically lets you use !show and things like that, that's about it
NessWillBy └┘: sorr its just so funny
TheGalacticDrake: Lesbian socks. Set it up
Legend101: how do u get into white list?
NessWillBy └┘: sorry*
TheGalacticDrake: I cant find it im blijd apparently
Aura luna: There isn’t one in lobby
NessWillBy └┘: blijd
Aura luna: certain rooms have it tho
TheGalacticDrake: Lol. Blind*
NessWillBy └┘: damn ice number
+ang└★┘: the only whitelist there is is for OJ
NessWillBy └┘: noice
+ang└★┘: but that's about it right?
lesbian socks: actually I dont have my mono team but I'll queue for natdex
dugtrio is a trap: lol i lost
NessWillBy └┘: noice number of users lobby.
Aura luna: Yeah but fart controls that
+ang└★┘: that's my only privledge
TheGalacticDrake: Who watches Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
JuiceCITY has won the match 3 - 0 against Director X.
*Kid A: Watch the finals of the tournament! «battle-gen8randomdoublesbattle-1153216887»
Aura luna: I sometimes do
Aura luna: good show
TheGalacticDrake: Ok
+ang└★┘: ~randclown
NessWillBy └┘: ang isnt this a noice users number.
+ang└★┘: did i lose my randclown privledge :(
Aura luna: f
Aura luna: ~randclown
Legend101: nice
NessWillBy └┘: aura is no clown
capsav☾: are u the only clown?
capsav☾: "clown"
monomire: due to this being a high traffic room i cant post single letters :(
Aura luna: Ang is too
+ang└★┘: yes they are
Legend101: yeah she is
capsav☾: lol
+ang└★┘: i am a clown too of many natures
Beserkexcaliber: /dtmirror coat
NessWillBy └┘: i am clown.
jasontheestalli: who wanna battle for money
Legend101: for making a blitz inverse double battle
monomire: i am clown.
+ang└★┘: monomire
Legend101: no in fact aura luna is the entire circus
capsav☾: I am a professional procrastinator
NessWillBy └┘: altho aura is the biggest clown
Kinle: ~randclown
monomire: ang
NessWillBy └┘: she did ubers inverse doubles
monomire: mi amór
+ang└★┘: hi pablo <33
+ang└★┘: i love u
Kinle: Why doesnt it work? Does it only for for mods?
Tigred'or: You are not just a clown, you are the entire circus,
+ang└★┘: yea
Del985: who wants to do a mega draft league
monomire: ily too <3
NessWillBy └┘: ang you make me remember the flamingo roblox youtube channel
NessWillBy └┘: pAbLiTo
+pablo: but im getting on my main bc wow i cant type anything in this chat
vs Director X3 - 0JuiceCITY vs dugtrio is a trap6 - 4Uh0hSpaghetti0s vs JuiceCITY0 - 4NotRealAtAll vs Uh0hSpaghetti0s5 - 3Galarian sith vs NotRealAtAll0 - 2rogue_xD vs Galarian sith6 - 6rogue_xDGalarian sithNotRealAtAll vs Mewzzy6 - 6NotRealAtAllMewzzyUh0hSpaghetti0s vs dalekdecember19634 - 0WaterZard vs Uh0hSpaghetti0s6 - 6WaterZardUh0hSpaghetti0sdalekdecember1963 vs NewElites6 - 6dalekdecember1963NewElitesJuiceCITY vs TechnoGenji2 - 0Ho-oh's Savior vs JuiceCITY0 - 1BWYancy vs Ho-oh's Savior6 - 6BWYancyHo-oh's SaviorJuiceCITY vs ASH KATCH THEM6 - 5JuiceCITYASH KATCH THEMMKiSS vs TechnoGenji6 - 6MKiSS vs Najim1 - 0MKiSSNajimLukeMason vs TechnoGenji6 - 6LukeMasonTechnoGenjidugtrio is a trap vs Classroom Rito5 - 4dugtrio is a trap vs Baby come back c4 - 5Vaydren vs dugtrio is a trap6 - 6Vaydren vs AshRex76 - 6VaydrenAshRex7dugtrio is a trap vs Rod Dongerson6 - 6dugtrio is a trapRod DongersonHeraacrossman vs Baby come back c1 - 1Heraacrossman vs AdonC1 - 0HeraacrossmanAdonCgarysmum vs Baby come back c0 - 1garysmumBaby come back cLegend101 vs Classroom Rito0 - 1Legend101 vs RasterSucks6 - 6Legend101 vs MewDrag6 - 6Legend101MewDragbananathatislocal vs RasterSucks4 - 5bananathatislocalRasterSucksClassroom Rito vs ZippityZ6 - 6ryder vs Classroom Rito6 - 6ryderClassroom Ritobirdleg vs ZippityZ0 - 1birdlegZippityZDirector X vs Justin frog3 - 0Director X vs St Eva Church4 - 4Director X vs Crisostomo Ibarra3 - 0Sacradle vs Director X0 - 2Sacradle vs GeoffBruedly6 - 4SacradleGeoffBruedlyDirector X vs EarSweat6 - 6Director XEarSweatang└★┘ vs Crisostomo Ibarra0 - 6ang└★┘ vs aura luna2 - 0ang└★┘aura lunaCrisostomo Ibarra vs EagleSoaring6 - 6Crisostomo IbarraEagleSoaringSt Eva Church vs Pigler3 - 0St Eva Church vs ghoover4 - 2St Eva Churchghooverlowincomesingledad vs Pigler0 - 1lowincomesingledadPiglerBlanchedAlmond vs Justin frog0 - 1BlanchedAlmond vs p0ip0le ∆2 - 0BlanchedAlmond vs PKM Champion Blue6 - 5BlanchedAlmondPKM Champion Bluep0ip0le ∆ vs DrReun͜͡iclus33 - 0p0ip0le ∆DrReun͜͡iclus3awesomenessguy vs Justin frog6 - 6awesomenessguy vs Paparoo1 - 0awesomenessguyPaparooJustin frog vs tintchiu03016 - 6Justin frogtintchiu0301
Pop-out
Congratulations to JuiceCITY for winning the [Gen 8] Random Doubles Battle (with custom rules) Single Elimination Tournament!
%piaa: grats
Legend101: hi pablo
+pablo: tried to type <33 back but it wouldnt let me
+ang└★┘: why do i remind you of that
capsav☾: gz gz
+ang└★┘: grats!!
%piaa: ~randitem
+pablo: hi legend101
Kokomo kermit: Terry are you here? Mom says go to bed its past your bedtime
dugtrio is a trap: grats
+ang└★┘: pablo ur my bestie 4 lye
%piaa: here's you're prize, enjoy
%piaa: *your
N0tPr0: "sweet"
+pablo: angela wil u come to my wedding
NessWillBy └┘: sweet victory
+pablo: u can be flower girl
NessWillBy └┘: but the prize is not sweet
capsav☾: it's an apple
Legend101: I have a whole speech written up for when I win a tourney
capsav☾: of course it is sweet
Legend101: but I never win a tourney
NessWillBy └┘: then congratulations
CrackinTheUniverse: Alright, Im going to try and go to sleep.
Doombaby: congrts
CrackinTheUniverse: This insomnia is killing me.
NessWillBy └┘: also remember the pewdiepie vs t series thing
CrackinTheUniverse: Bye, lobby.
Legend101: bye
NessWillBy └┘: bye craig
Legend101: sweet dreams
Edgar81539: high chances to get double/triple justified
sharp_claw has lost the match 0 - 5 against Teres bahji.
complimentsisbad has won the match 2 - 0 against TheProleHunter.
Teres bahji has lost the match 2 - 4 against RustySheriffBadge.
ProbablyNotGallade has lost the match 0 - 4 against complimentsisbad.
Lamp has lost the match 3 - 5 against DonkeyballZ004.
Lamp: im out here getting grass vs ice, with my grass having abomasnow and oppo having sandslash-a
Edgar81539: LMAO
Edgar81539: rekt
Edgar81539: that's so bad
aninterestingidea: outskilled
+piaa: that's unfort, lamp
Edgar81539: imagine getting
Lamp: i was literally like, let me just stall out the hail
Edgar81539: water and the opponent has three swift swimmers
Lamp: then i forgot i had an aboma
@sharp_claw: I had sturdy to stop sweeps but teres had sunsteel strike :(
@sharp_claw:also I played bad
forsh!: >:(
Edgar81539: how
forsh!: who made this tour
Edgar81539: he had shadow tag
Edgar81539: you had absolutely
@sharp_claw: there's that too
forsh!: i log off for 10 mins
Edgar81539: zero way to counter shadow tag lol
forsh!: and the 1 tour i enjoy is made
Murad: .randquote
*Kid A: Smoochyena: im buying someone something | Smoochyena: in this chatroom | +a random duck 水: can you buy me a life | Smoochyena: whoa dude | Smoochyena: im not in the black market | +a random duck 水: ;(
Edgar81539: imagine getting shadow tag + full metal body + levitate
Teres bahji: well
Edgar81539: one weakness solgaleo
Edgar81539: with weakness policy
Edgar81539: lmao
Teres bahji: i got psychic vs fighting
ZippityZ has lost the match 0 - 1 against Jazz495.
Teres bahji: now i got fight vs poison
aninterestingidea: that has more than one weakness?
Teres bahji: had nothing to do ..
Edgar81539: lmao
Edgar81539: imagine
Edgar81539: your only revenge killer being diggersby with quick attack
Edgar81539: but you got a lead indedee
+Hot of Dog: body slam on diggersby sucks
Edgar81539: HEY
+Hot of Dog: can we get mega kick instead?
Edgar81539: CHECK THIS OUT
Edgar81539: SHEDINJA
Edgar81539: Ssomeone rolled shedinja
Edgar81539: https://play.pokemonshowdown.com/battle-gen8monotyperandombattle-1153205722
+piaa: losing return sucks for the mons that want it tbh
complimentsisbad has lost the match 0 - 3 against Jazz495.
+piaa: mega kick is kinda wack
+piaa: strong move but not good accuracy
exearge has lost the match 4 - 6 against dalekdecember1963.
DonkeyballZ004 has lost the match 0 - 2 against dalekdecember1963.
Edgar81539: wonder guard
Servatino: Which would you rather
Edgar81539: + flash fire
Servatino: Recoil dmg from double egde or 75% acc
Servatino: Megakick
Edgar81539: bug teams have
Edgar81539: durant + shedinja
Edgar81539: + centiskorch
ASH KATCH THEM has lost the match 3 - 4 against Damm u captcha.
Teres bahji: lol
Teres bahji: no way to touch it
Edgar81539: yeah if you get that combo it's pretty much gg
Damm u captcha: teres :(
Teres bahji: o.o
Edgar81539: oh here's the bug guy
Edgar81539: with the invincible durant
Damm u captcha: i have a name
Damm u captcha: but i forgot how it was
Edgar81539: now I will know you as the guy that rolled wonder guard + flash fire in the same shared power tour
Teres bahji: me ?
Teres bahji: lol
satvik1234567890: missed the fun
Damm u captcha: teres he talks about me
Damm u captcha: :(, i wanted to be know as the guy that couldn't win/lose a battle of gen1 challenge cup
Teres bahji: hmm
RustySheriffBadge has won the match 4 - 0 against Jazz495.
dalekdecember1963 has won the match 2 - 1 against Damm u captcha.
Edgar81539: levitate on mono electric
Edgar81539: against ground
Teres bahji: no
Edgar81539: so
Edgar81539: here it comes the finals of this broken af format
RustySheriffBadge has won the match 2 - 0 against dalekdecember1963.
*Lady Monita: Final battle of the Shared Power MonoRands tournament: «battle-gen8monotyperandombattle-1153214059»!
Teres bahji: this format is actually more broken
Jazz495: i call another round!
Teres bahji: than normal random..
Jazz495: another round of this good stuff!
You joined Random Battles [autoconfirmed or higher to talk]
website | room rules | sets discussion | sets discussion (doubles)
Poll Best/Most inspiring Pokemon Quote? (pt.2)
1. "It's not by rejecting different ideas, but by accepting different ideas that the world creates a chemical reaction. This is truly the formula for changing the world." -N
2. "We do have a lot in common, the same Earth, the same air, the same sky. Maybe if we started looking at what's the same instead of always looking at what's different... well, who knows? - Meowth, Mewtwo Strikes Back
3. "Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when there's so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference." - Pokemon The Movie
4. "Do you always need a reason to help somebody?” Ash Ketchum
5. "There’s no sense in going out of your way to get somebody to like you.” Ash Ketchum
6. "One is persuing the ideal of strength, whereas the poor other has faced the sad truth that not everyone can become stronger" -N
7. "There is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence." - Concordia
8. "..." -Red
(View results)
Valletta ⤪⥹⥻: Teres bahji normal random is more broken due to dynamax
vs dalekdecember19632 - 0RustySheriffBadge vs Jazz4954 - 0Teres bahji vs RustySheriffBadge2 - 4sharp_claw vs Teres bahji0 - 5sharp_claw vs PokeGimmicks3 - 0sharp_claw vs 122625o5 - 0sharp_claw122625oPokeGimmicks vs Regislux5 - 2PokeGimmicksRegisluxTeres bahji vs labloblola4 - 0JeanPierre235 vs Teres bahji0 - 3JeanPierre235Teres bahjiQplaz!! vs labloblola0 - 3Qplaz!!labloblolaRustySheriffBadge vs lolbronson1 - 0Valletta ⤪⥹⥻ vs RustySheriffBadge0 - 3Dreamalovania vs Valletta ⤪⥹⥻0 - 3DreamalovaniaValletta ⤪⥹⥻RustySheriffBadge vs St Eva Church2 - 0RustySheriffBadgeSt Eva ChurchSquarqo vs lolbronson0 - 1Squarqo vs AdonC5 - 5SquarqoAdonClolbronson vs CrizSalaz6 - 4lolbronsonCrizSalazcomplimentsisbad vs Jazz4950 - 3ProbablyNotGallade vs complimentsisbad0 - 4OuiMais vs ProbablyNotGallade0 - 5SolitarySharpedo vs OuiMais0 - 5SolitarySharpedoOuiMaisProbablyNotGallade vs fanboy89475 - 4ProbablyNotGalladefanboy8947complimentsisbad vs TheProleHunter2 - 0complimentsisbad vs JaKSaS3 - 0complimentsisbadJaKSaSTheProleHunter vs OGUniversity1 - 0TheProleHunterOGUniversityZippityZ vs Jazz4950 - 1ZippityZ vs odr2 - 0ZippityZ vs Kimiko93 - 0ZippityZKimiko9odr vs el francisco mexa3 - 0odrel francisco mexaSoccerpies vs Jazz4950 - 2Anghult vs Soccerpies4 - 6AnghultSoccerpiesAlexander Hoodlum vs Jazz4954 - 6Alexander HoodlumJazz495dalekdecember1963 vs Damm u captcha2 - 1DonkeyballZ004 vs dalekdecember19630 - 2Lamp vs DonkeyballZ0043 - 5Lamp vs shreder13993 - 0Lamp vs 1calebb4 - 2Lamp1calebbzebnex vs shreder13991 - 3zebnexshreder1399DonkeyballZ004 vs Classroom Rito6 - 6DonkeyballZ004 vs tnelly112 - 0DonkeyballZ004tnelly11Classroom Rito vs gsauce123 - 0Classroom Ritogsauce12exearge vs dalekdecember19634 - 6Corrupted Kestrel vs exearge0 - 3Edgar81539 vs Corrupted Kestrel0 - 2Edgar81539Corrupted KestrelArthur2603 vs exearge0 - 5Arthur2603exeargeLahc vs dalekdecember19630 - 2rusty457 vs Lahc0 - 2rusty457LahcBitchquisha vs dalekdecember19636 - 4Bitchquishadalekdecember1963ASH KATCH THEM vs Damm u captcha3 - 4ASH KATCH Texas Cloverleaf shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle HEM vs notaraci st3 - 0ASH KATCH THEM vs Heraacrossman6 - 5ASH KATCH THEMHeraacrossmannotaraci st vs codybeeber1**1 - 0notaraci stcodybeeber1**Damm u captcha vs IOnlyUsem3Knife6 - 0FlamtapShuckle vs Damm u captcha0 - 5FlamtapShuckleDamm u captchaDandyArseFace vs IOnlyUsem3Knife4 - 3DandyArseFaceIOnlyUsem3Knife
Congratulations to RustySheriffBadge for winning the Shared Power MonoRands Single Elimination Tournament!
Valletta ⤪⥹⥻: case closed
+piaa: greats rsb
+piaa: *grats
Damm u captcha: goat
Edgar81539: gratz
Damm u captcha: ggs
Edgar81539: this is why
Teres bahji: nah
Teres bahji: this is broken
Edgar81539: rain + swift swim is banned
1234bst: he got 3 mold-breaker mons ;-;
RustySheriffBadge: swift swim drizzle op
Edgar81539: btw
1234bst: that is rough
Teres bahji: congratz
Classroom Rito: gratz RustySheriffBadge
1234bst: wait was druggion mold breaker was well?
Edgar81539: rain + swift swim managed to win against multiscale dragon dance
Edgar81539: yeah
1234bst: jesus
Edgar81539: he got triple mold breaker
1234bst: quad
Jazz495: I call another round!!!
1234bst: quad mold breaker
RustySheriffBadge: nice adapdability at the end there with crawdaunt as well
Edgar81539: adaptability + swift swim + drizzle
Edgar81539: this format is so broken
Edgar81539: and so fun lol
satvik1234567890: RustySheriffBadge what is that status
1234bst: if only that altaria was cloud nine
Jazz495: another round!
1234bst: it could have saved him slightly from the freeze hax
RustySheriffBadge: its something...
Teres bahji: he made some bad moves
Edgar81539: the total boost for all water moves
Edgar81539: was
Edgar81539: huh
Edgar81539: 250%
1234bst: yeah
dalekdecember1963: i thought crawdaunt would have close combat
1234bst: same
Teres bahji: lol
Edgar81539: double speed, all water moves hit with 250% power
Teres bahji: with knnok off
Teres bahji: was enough
Edgar81539: and he got intimidate on top
Teres bahji: to kill everything ..
1234bst: quad mold breaker
Edgar81539: he should have switched the altaria before
Edgar81539: to free dragonite from the freeze
Edgar81539: that was the biggest misplay
1234bst: wouldn't have had to do that if he didn't get frozen ;-;
dalekdecember1963: it was my first time playing that format but yeah i made bad moves
1234bst: first time????
1234bst: nice
Edgar81539: first time is ok then lol
1234bst: great
1234bst: he almost won, even with hax against him
Edgar81539: yeah too bad dragon types has so many overlapping abilities
Edgar81539: pressure and mold breaker
Teres bahji: i found this format
Teres bahji: so broken
Teres bahji: more wroken than normal
Teres bahji: rand..
1234bst: no duh
1234bst: so many broken abilities
1234bst: you can get
1234bst: lol
Teres bahji: thats why
capsav☾: ah
BWYancy: what the heck?
Cs2581604: the one who uses explosion loses.
Legend101 has won the match 6 - 6 against RasterSucks.
JuiceCITY has drawn the match 6 - 6 against ASH KATCH THEM but the tournament does not support drawing, so it did not count.
dugtrio is a trap: wassup
LukeMason: Was NOT expecting the battle animations to be what killed me.
BWYancy: well
BWYancy: blitz sucks
lesbian socks: battles go to last mon who dies so self destruct moves ends with a loss
MKiSS has lost the match 6 - 6 against TechnoGenji.
Vaydren: My opponent ran out of time before the battle started feelsbadman
awesomenessguy has lost the match 6 - 6 against Justin frog.
Vaydren has lost the match 6 - 6 against dugtrio is a trap.
NessWillBy └
┘: feels badcapsav☾: sad
Sacradle has won the match 6 - 4 against GeoffBruedly.
Galarian sith has lost the match 0 - 2 against NotRealAtAll.
Classroom Rito has won the match 6 - 6 against ZippityZ.
Sacradle has lost the match 0 - 2 against Director X.
p0ip0le ∆ has won the match 3 - 0 against DrReun͜͡iclus3.
St Eva Church has won the match 4 - 2 against ghoover.
Legend101 has lost the match 0 - 1 against Classroom Rito.
lowincomesingledad has lost the match 0 - 1 against Pigler.
ang└★┘ has won the match 2 - 0 against aura luna.
ang└★┘ has lost the match 0 - 6 against Crisostomo Ibarra.
BlanchedAlmond has won the match 2 - 0 against p0ip0le ∆.
JuiceCITY has won the match 6 - 5 against ASH KATCH THEM.
NessWillBy └
┘: did ang lose alrea-NessWillBy └
┘: ohPigler: this is chaos and i love it
+ang└★┘: wtf i aint losin quick
Uh0hSpaghetti0s has won the match 4 - 0 against dalekdecember1963.
St Eva Church has won the match 3 - 0 against Pigler.
Vaydren: bruh this is so insane
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: blitz sucks
dugtrio is a trap: wassup
capsav☾: nm
+ang└★┘: i got swpet aura ;(
+ang└★┘: ew ugly emoji eyes
+ang└★┘: :(*
EagleSoaring: had to do something and the timer was so short, oh well
dugtrio is a trap: i only won by the timer
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: oof
dugtrio is a trap: lol
Director X has won the match 3 - 0 against Crisostomo Ibarra.
NessWillBy └
┘: ang:wtf i aint losin quick } also ang: ggHeraacrossman has lost the match 1 - 1 against Baby come back c.
Ho-oh's Savior has been disqualified from the tournament.
+ang└★┘: in the span of 5 min :(
Legend101: I swear I feel like my blood pressure was rising
NessWillBy └
┘: damn thats saddugtrio is a trap has won the match 4 - 5 against Baby come back c.
JuiceCITY has won the match 2 - 0 against TechnoGenji.
Aariz Anas: ~~lol~~~
WaterZard: Ness what is your issue with ang
Aariz Anas: help I'm drowning
NessWillBy └
┘: me seeing ang lose as a member of ang gang: BREAKDOWN breakdownNotRealAtAll has lost the match 5 - 3 against Uh0hSpaghetti0s.
Legend101: aura luna why think that blitz double is a good idea? why? smh
Classroom Rito: ang did u lose
Aura luna: :)
Galarian sith: noo
NessWillBy └
┘: aura dont smile to me.Aariz Anas: I thought stew and soup were the same thing?
%piaa: it's a fun tour :)
BlanchedAlmond has lost the match 0 - 1 against Justin frog.
NessWillBy └
┘: and dont bully me+ang└★┘: ** :) *
capsav☾: apparently you like to watch people suffer aura luna
+ang└★┘: that's the most formatting i can do
+ang└★┘: im cursed
%piaa: not at all, Aariz Anas
+ang└★┘: petition to whitelist me and let me use bold
NessWillBy └
┘: piaa shroomish stewdugtrio is a trap has won the match 5 - 4 against Classroom Rito.
capsav☾: stew is not soup for some reason
NessWillBy └
┘: shroomish is a mushroom, mushroom stew, shroomish stewLegend101: nice
Aura luna: Idt I can promote to whitelist
Baby come back c: this gave me a seizure
Aariz Anas: stew is just denser soup
Aura luna: gotta ask an ro for that
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: lol i won cus of blitz
Mariannabelle✧
♡: lunaYou joined Lobby [autoconfirmed or higher to talk]
Welcome to Lobby!
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Poll 540 votes Which statement is MOST true?
1. Soup is just wet stew (323 votes)
60%
2. Stew is just dry soup (217 votes)
40%
Aura luna: Mari
NessWillBy └
┘: wdym auraDirector X has won the match 4 - 4 against St Eva Church.
Crisostomo Ibarra: charm
Mariannabelle✧
♡: look at me lunaAura luna: I am
+ang└★┘: wait is there a whitelist for bold and stuff?
Aura luna: And always will be
Mariannabelle✧
♡: look closer lunaGalarian sith: i lost to inverse
Aura luna: :eyes:
+ang└★┘: i don't remmeber there being one but i am.. outdated
Uh0hSpaghetti0s has lost the match 0 - 4 against JuiceCITY.
Cs2581604: Which is the better video game cat? Bob or Nolegs?
Legend101: wait it was inverse?
NessWillBy └
┘: :eyes: :mouth: :eyes:capsav☾: yes
capsav☾: it is inverse
Mariannabelle✧
♡: my efforts have been rewarded lunaLegend101: whaaat????
capsav☾: dang
Legend101: I didn't even know cause I had like 10 seconds
Vaydren: I was wondering why i did minimal damage lol
NessWillBy └
┘: ang there is a bold white listTheGalacticDrake: Who wants to battle
capsav☾: it was an added rule
capsav☾: rip
Legend101: aura luna ur even worse than I thought
+ang└★┘: the random types through me off
NessWillBy └
┘: and some ppl can do the green text thingAura luna: Capsav does it let you evade banwords?
NessWillBy └
┘: they bully us with it ;(TheGalacticDrake: Hello?
capsav☾: aura luna what does?
Aura luna: Whitelist
capsav☾: nah
dugtrio is a trap: wassup
Aura luna: Ah the bold wouldn’t work
Aura luna: *then
TheGalacticDrake: Hi lobby
dugtrio is a trap: blitz is a nightmare
Director X has won the match 3 - 0 against Justin frog.
capsav☾: banwords probably shouldn't be said in the first place
dugtrio is a trap: espciall with inverse
lesbian socks: I'll play monos if you want TheGalacticDrake
NessWillBy └
┘: TheGalacticDrake whaddup broTheGalacticDrake: Hi guys
capsav☾: hi
Legend101: what's up?
Uh0hSpaghetti0s: lol i died
TheGalacticDrake: Ok
NessWillBy └
┘: somebody touch mah SPAGHETJuiceCITY has won the match 6 - 4 against dugtrio is a trap.
NessWillBy └
┘: break the chair, its a face but no face, this spaghet taste like PISScapsav☾: whitelist basically lets you use !show and things like that, that's about it
NessWillBy └
┘: sorr its just so funnyTheGalacticDrake: Lesbian socks. Set it up
Legend101: how do u get into white list?
NessWillBy └
┘: sorry*TheGalacticDrake: I cant find it im blijd apparently
Aura luna: There isn’t one in lobby
NessWillBy └
┘: blijdAura luna: certain rooms have it tho
TheGalacticDrake: Lol. Blind*
NessWillBy └
┘: damn ice number+ang└★┘: the only whitelist there is is for OJ
NessWillBy └
┘: noice+ang└★┘: but that's about it right?
lesbian socks: actually I dont have my mono team but I'll queue for natdex
dugtrio is a trap: lol i lost
NessWillBy └
┘: noice number of users lobby.Aura luna: Yeah but fart controls that
+ang└★┘: that's my only privledge
TheGalacticDrake: Who watches Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
JuiceCITY has won the match 3 - 0 against Director X.
*Kid A: Watch the finals of the tournament! «battle-gen8randomdoublesbattle-1153216887»
Aura luna: I sometimes do
Aura luna: good show
TheGalacticDrake: Ok
+ang└★┘: ~randclown
NessWillBy └
┘: ang isnt this a noice users number.+ang└★┘: did i lose my randclown privledge :(
Aura luna: f
Aura luna: ~randclown
| Aura Luna |
NessWillBy └
┘: aura is no clowncapsav☾: are u the only clown?
capsav☾: "clown"
monomire: due to this being a high traffic room i cant post single letters :(
Aura luna: Ang is too
+ang└★┘: yes they are
Legend101: yeah she is
capsav☾: lol
+ang└★┘: i am a clown too of many natures
Beserkexcaliber: /dtmirror coat
NessWillBy └
┘: i am clown.jasontheestalli: who wanna battle for money
Legend101: for making a blitz inverse double battle
monomire: i am clown.
+ang└★┘: monomire
Legend101: no in fact aura luna is the entire circus
capsav☾: I am a professional procrastinator
NessWillBy └
┘: altho aura is the biggest clownKinle: ~randclown
monomire: ang
NessWillBy └
┘: she did ubers inverse doublesmonomire: mi amór
+ang└★┘: hi pablo <33
+ang└★┘: i love u
Kinle: Why doesnt it work? Does it only for for mods?
Tigred'or: You are not just a clown, you are the entire circus,
+ang└★┘: yea
Del985: who wants to do a mega draft league
monomire: ily too <3
NessWillBy └
┘: ang you make me remember the flamingo roblox youtube channelNessWillBy └
┘: pAbLiTo+pablo: but im getting on my main bc wow i cant type anything in this chat
vs Director X3 - 0JuiceCITY vs dugtrio is a trap6 - 4Uh0hSpaghetti0s vs JuiceCITY0 - 4NotRealAtAll vs Uh0hSpaghetti0s5 - 3Galarian sith vs NotRealAtAll0 - 2rogue_xD vs Galarian sith6 - 6rogue_xDGalarian sithNotRealAtAll vs Mewzzy6 - 6NotRealAtAllMewzzyUh0hSpaghetti0s vs dalekdecember19634 - 0WaterZard vs Uh0hSpaghetti0s6 - 6WaterZardUh0hSpaghetti0sdalekdecember1963 vs NewElites6 - 6dalekdecember1963NewElitesJuiceCITY vs TechnoGenji2 - 0Ho-oh's Savior vs JuiceCITY0 - 1BWYancy vs Ho-oh's Savior6 - 6BWYancyHo-oh's SaviorJuiceCITY vs ASH KATCH THEM6 - 5JuiceCITYASH KATCH THEMMKiSS vs TechnoGenji6 - 6MKiSS vs Najim1 - 0MKiSSNajimLukeMason vs TechnoGenji6 - 6LukeMasonTechnoGenjidugtrio is a trap vs Classroom Rito5 - 4dugtrio is a trap vs Baby come back c4 - 5Vaydren vs dugtrio is a trap6 - 6Vaydren vs AshRex76 - 6VaydrenAshRex7dugtrio is a trap vs Rod Dongerson6 - 6dugtrio is a trapRod DongersonHeraacrossman vs Baby come back c1 - 1Heraacrossman vs AdonC1 - 0HeraacrossmanAdonCgarysmum vs Baby come back c0 - 1garysmumBaby come back cLegend101 vs Classroom Rito0 - 1Legend101 vs RasterSucks6 - 6Legend101 vs MewDrag6 - 6Legend101MewDragbananathatislocal vs RasterSucks4 - 5bananathatislocalRasterSucksClassroom Rito vs ZippityZ6 - 6ryder vs Classroom Rito6 - 6ryderClassroom Ritobirdleg vs ZippityZ0 - 1birdlegZippityZDirector X vs Justin frog3 - 0Director X vs St Eva Church4 - 4Director X vs Crisostomo Ibarra3 - 0Sacradle vs Director X0 - 2Sacradle vs GeoffBruedly6 - 4SacradleGeoffBruedlyDirector X vs EarSweat6 - 6Director XEarSweatang└★┘ vs Crisostomo Ibarra0 - 6ang└★┘ vs aura luna2 - 0ang└★┘aura lunaCrisostomo Ibarra vs EagleSoaring6 - 6Crisostomo IbarraEagleSoaringSt Eva Church vs Pigler3 - 0St Eva Church vs ghoover4 - 2St Eva Churchghooverlowincomesingledad vs Pigler0 - 1lowincomesingledadPiglerBlanchedAlmond vs Justin frog0 - 1BlanchedAlmond vs p0ip0le ∆2 - 0BlanchedAlmond vs PKM Champion Blue6 - 5BlanchedAlmondPKM Champion Bluep0ip0le ∆ vs DrReun͜͡iclus33 - 0p0ip0le ∆DrReun͜͡iclus3awesomenessguy vs Justin frog6 - 6awesomenessguy vs Paparoo1 - 0awesomenessguyPaparooJustin frog vs tintchiu03016 - 6Justin frogtintchiu0301
Pop-out
Congratulations to JuiceCITY for winning the [Gen 8] Random Doubles Battle (with custom rules) Single Elimination Tournament!
%piaa: grats
Legend101: hi pablo
+pablo: tried to type <33 back but it wouldnt let me
+ang└★┘: why do i remind you of that
capsav☾: gz gz
+ang└★┘: grats!!
%piaa: ~randitem
- Sweet AppleEvolves Applin into Appletun when used.
+pablo: hi legend101
Kokomo kermit: Terry are you here? Mom says go to bed its past your bedtime
dugtrio is a trap: grats
+ang└★┘: pablo ur my bestie 4 lye
%piaa: here's you're prize, enjoy
%piaa: *your
N0tPr0: "sweet"
+pablo: angela wil u come to my wedding
NessWillBy └
┘: sweet victory+pablo: u can be flower girl
NessWillBy └
┘: but the prize is not sweetcapsav☾: it's an apple
Legend101: I have a whole speech written up for when I win a tourney
capsav☾: of course it is sweet
Legend101: but I never win a tourney
NessWillBy └
┘: then congratulationsCrackinTheUniverse: Alright, Im going to try and go to sleep.
Doombaby: congrts
CrackinTheUniverse: This insomnia is killing me.
NessWillBy └
┘: also remember the pewdiepie vs t series thingCrackinTheUniverse: Bye, lobby.
Legend101: bye
NessWillBy └
┘: bye craigLegend101: sweet dreams
Edgar81539: high chances to get double/triple justified
sharp_claw has lost the match 0 - 5 against Teres bahji.
complimentsisbad has won the match 2 - 0 against TheProleHunter.
Teres bahji has lost the match 2 - 4 against RustySheriffBadge.
ProbablyNotGallade has lost the match 0 - 4 against complimentsisbad.
Lamp has lost the match 3 - 5 against DonkeyballZ004.
Lamp: im out here getting grass vs ice, with my grass having abomasnow and oppo having sandslash-a
Edgar81539: LMAO
Edgar81539: rekt
Edgar81539: that's so bad
aninterestingidea: outskilled
+piaa: that's unfort, lamp
Edgar81539: imagine getting
Lamp: i was literally like, let me just stall out the hail
Edgar81539: water and the opponent has three swift swimmers
Lamp: then i forgot i had an aboma
@sharp_claw: I had sturdy to stop sweeps but teres had sunsteel strike :(
@sharp_claw:
forsh!: >:(
Edgar81539: how
forsh!: who made this tour
Edgar81539: he had shadow tag
Edgar81539: you had absolutely
@sharp_claw: there's that too
forsh!: i log off for 10 mins
Edgar81539: zero way to counter shadow tag lol
forsh!: and the 1 tour i enjoy is made
Murad: .randquote
*Kid A: Smoochyena: im buying someone something | Smoochyena: in this chatroom | +a random duck 水: can you buy me a life | Smoochyena: whoa dude | Smoochyena: im not in the black market | +a random duck 水: ;(
Edgar81539: imagine getting shadow tag + full metal body + levitate
Teres bahji: well
Edgar81539: one weakness solgaleo
Edgar81539: with weakness policy
Edgar81539: lmao
Teres bahji: i got psychic vs fighting
ZippityZ has lost the match 0 - 1 against Jazz495.
Teres bahji: now i got fight vs poison
aninterestingidea: that has more than one weakness?
Teres bahji: had nothing to do ..
Edgar81539: lmao
Edgar81539: imagine
Edgar81539: your only revenge killer being diggersby with quick attack
Edgar81539: but you got a lead indedee
+Hot of Dog: body slam on diggersby sucks
Edgar81539: HEY
+Hot of Dog: can we get mega kick instead?
Edgar81539: CHECK THIS OUT
Edgar81539: SHEDINJA
Edgar81539: Ssomeone rolled shedinja
Edgar81539: https://play.pokemonshowdown.com/battle-gen8monotyperandombattle-1153205722
+piaa: losing return sucks for the mons that want it tbh
complimentsisbad has lost the match 0 - 3 against Jazz495.
+piaa: mega kick is kinda wack
+piaa: strong move but not good accuracy
exearge has lost the match 4 - 6 against dalekdecember1963.
DonkeyballZ004 has lost the match 0 - 2 against dalekdecember1963.
Edgar81539: wonder guard
Servatino: Which would you rather
Edgar81539: + flash fire
Servatino: Recoil dmg from double egde or 75% acc
Servatino: Megakick
Edgar81539: bug teams have
Edgar81539: durant + shedinja
Edgar81539: + centiskorch
ASH KATCH THEM has lost the match 3 - 4 against Damm u captcha.
Teres bahji: lol
Teres bahji: no way to touch it
Edgar81539: yeah if you get that combo it's pretty much gg
Damm u captcha: teres :(
Teres bahji: o.o
Edgar81539: oh here's the bug guy
Edgar81539: with the invincible durant
Damm u captcha: i have a name
Damm u captcha: but i forgot how it was
Edgar81539: now I will know you as the guy that rolled wonder guard + flash fire in the same shared power tour
Teres bahji: me ?
Teres bahji: lol
satvik1234567890: missed the fun
Damm u captcha: teres he talks about me
Damm u captcha: :(, i wanted to be know as the guy that couldn't win/lose a battle of gen1 challenge cup
Teres bahji: hmm
RustySheriffBadge has won the match 4 - 0 against Jazz495.
dalekdecember1963 has won the match 2 - 1 against Damm u captcha.
Edgar81539: levitate on mono electric
Edgar81539: against ground
Teres bahji: no
Edgar81539: so
Edgar81539: here it comes the finals of this broken af format
RustySheriffBadge has won the match 2 - 0 against dalekdecember1963.
*Lady Monita: Final battle of the Shared Power MonoRands tournament: «battle-gen8monotyperandombattle-1153214059»!
Teres bahji: this format is actually more broken
Jazz495: i call another round!
Teres bahji: than normal random..
Jazz495: another round of this good stuff!
You joined Random Battles [autoconfirmed or higher to talk]
Poll Best/Most inspiring Pokemon Quote? (pt.2)
1. "It's not by rejecting different ideas, but by accepting different ideas that the world creates a chemical reaction. This is truly the formula for changing the world." -N
2. "We do have a lot in common, the same Earth, the same air, the same sky. Maybe if we started looking at what's the same instead of always looking at what's different... well, who knows? - Meowth, Mewtwo Strikes Back
3. "Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It's never easy when there's so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference." - Pokemon The Movie
4. "Do you always need a reason to help somebody?” Ash Ketchum
5. "There’s no sense in going out of your way to get somebody to like you.” Ash Ketchum
6. "One is persuing the ideal of strength, whereas the poor other has faced the sad truth that not everyone can become stronger" -N
7. "There is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence." - Concordia
8. "..." -Red
(View results)
Valletta ⤪⥹⥻: Teres bahji normal random is more broken due to dynamax
vs dalekdecember19632 - 0RustySheriffBadge vs Jazz4954 - 0Teres bahji vs RustySheriffBadge2 - 4sharp_claw vs Teres bahji0 - 5sharp_claw vs PokeGimmicks3 - 0sharp_claw vs 122625o5 - 0sharp_claw122625oPokeGimmicks vs Regislux5 - 2PokeGimmicksRegisluxTeres bahji vs labloblola4 - 0JeanPierre235 vs Teres bahji0 - 3JeanPierre235Teres bahjiQplaz!! vs labloblola0 - 3Qplaz!!labloblolaRustySheriffBadge vs lolbronson1 - 0Valletta ⤪⥹⥻ vs RustySheriffBadge0 - 3Dreamalovania vs Valletta ⤪⥹⥻0 - 3DreamalovaniaValletta ⤪⥹⥻RustySheriffBadge vs St Eva Church2 - 0RustySheriffBadgeSt Eva ChurchSquarqo vs lolbronson0 - 1Squarqo vs AdonC5 - 5SquarqoAdonClolbronson vs CrizSalaz6 - 4lolbronsonCrizSalazcomplimentsisbad vs Jazz4950 - 3ProbablyNotGallade vs complimentsisbad0 - 4OuiMais vs ProbablyNotGallade0 - 5SolitarySharpedo vs OuiMais0 - 5SolitarySharpedoOuiMaisProbablyNotGallade vs fanboy89475 - 4ProbablyNotGalladefanboy8947complimentsisbad vs TheProleHunter2 - 0complimentsisbad vs JaKSaS3 - 0complimentsisbadJaKSaSTheProleHunter vs OGUniversity1 - 0TheProleHunterOGUniversityZippityZ vs Jazz4950 - 1ZippityZ vs odr2 - 0ZippityZ vs Kimiko93 - 0ZippityZKimiko9odr vs el francisco mexa3 - 0odrel francisco mexaSoccerpies vs Jazz4950 - 2Anghult vs Soccerpies4 - 6AnghultSoccerpiesAlexander Hoodlum vs Jazz4954 - 6Alexander HoodlumJazz495dalekdecember1963 vs Damm u captcha2 - 1DonkeyballZ004 vs dalekdecember19630 - 2Lamp vs DonkeyballZ0043 - 5Lamp vs shreder13993 - 0Lamp vs 1calebb4 - 2Lamp1calebbzebnex vs shreder13991 - 3zebnexshreder1399DonkeyballZ004 vs Classroom Rito6 - 6DonkeyballZ004 vs tnelly112 - 0DonkeyballZ004tnelly11Classroom Rito vs gsauce123 - 0Classroom Ritogsauce12exearge vs dalekdecember19634 - 6Corrupted Kestrel vs exearge0 - 3Edgar81539 vs Corrupted Kestrel0 - 2Edgar81539Corrupted KestrelArthur2603 vs exearge0 - 5Arthur2603exeargeLahc vs dalekdecember19630 - 2rusty457 vs Lahc0 - 2rusty457LahcBitchquisha vs dalekdecember19636 - 4Bitchquishadalekdecember1963ASH KATCH THEM vs Damm u captcha3 - 4ASH KATCH Texas Cloverleaf shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle HEM vs notaraci st3 - 0ASH KATCH THEM vs Heraacrossman6 - 5ASH KATCH THEMHeraacrossmannotaraci st vs codybeeber1**1 - 0notaraci stcodybeeber1**Damm u captcha vs IOnlyUsem3Knife6 - 0FlamtapShuckle vs Damm u captcha0 - 5FlamtapShuckleDamm u captchaDandyArseFace vs IOnlyUsem3Knife4 - 3DandyArseFaceIOnlyUsem3Knife
Congratulations to RustySheriffBadge for winning the Shared Power MonoRands Single Elimination Tournament!
Valletta ⤪⥹⥻: case closed
+piaa: greats rsb
+piaa: *grats
Damm u captcha: goat
Edgar81539: gratz
Damm u captcha: ggs
Edgar81539: this is why
Teres bahji: nah
Teres bahji: this is broken
Edgar81539: rain + swift swim is banned
1234bst: he got 3 mold-breaker mons ;-;
RustySheriffBadge: swift swim drizzle op
Edgar81539: btw
1234bst: that is rough
Teres bahji: congratz
Classroom Rito: gratz RustySheriffBadge
1234bst: wait was druggion mold breaker was well?
Edgar81539: rain + swift swim managed to win against multiscale dragon dance
Edgar81539: yeah
1234bst: jesus
Edgar81539: he got triple mold breaker
1234bst: quad
Jazz495: I call another round!!!
1234bst: quad mold breaker
RustySheriffBadge: nice adapdability at the end there with crawdaunt as well
Edgar81539: adaptability + swift swim + drizzle
Edgar81539: this format is so broken
Edgar81539: and so fun lol
satvik1234567890: RustySheriffBadge what is that status
1234bst: if only that altaria was cloud nine
Jazz495: another round!
1234bst: it could have saved him slightly from the freeze hax
RustySheriffBadge: its something...
Teres bahji: he made some bad moves
Edgar81539: the total boost for all water moves
Edgar81539: was
Edgar81539: huh
Edgar81539: 250%
1234bst: yeah
dalekdecember1963: i thought crawdaunt would have close combat
1234bst: same
Teres bahji: lol
Edgar81539: double speed, all water moves hit with 250% power
Teres bahji: with knnok off
Teres bahji: was enough
Edgar81539: and he got intimidate on top
Teres bahji: to kill everything ..
1234bst: quad mold breaker
Edgar81539: he should have switched the altaria before
Edgar81539: to free dragonite from the freeze
Edgar81539: that was the biggest misplay
1234bst: wouldn't have had to do that if he didn't get frozen ;-;
dalekdecember1963: it was my first time playing that format but yeah i made bad moves
1234bst: first time????
1234bst: nice
Edgar81539: first time is ok then lol
1234bst: great
1234bst: he almost won, even with hax against him
Edgar81539: yeah too bad dragon types has so many overlapping abilities
Edgar81539: pressure and mold breaker
Teres bahji: i found this format
Teres bahji: so broken
Teres bahji: more wroken than normal
Teres bahji: rand..
1234bst: no duh
1234bst: so many broken abilities
1234bst: you can get
1234bst: lol
Teres bahji: thats why
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Haley and Jessica. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Haley's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Haley and Jessica truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Haley's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Mothers and Daughters I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Haley and Jessica tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
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jalmont shoots at Tribe haley from too hot too handle
i stand by thisjalmont shoots at
JALMONT shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
i stand by thisjalmont shoots at
jalmont shoots at tribe jessica from love is blind
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- Ancient Gear Fortress
SPELL
Continuous During the turn they were Normal or Special Summoned, your opponent cannot target "Ancient Gear" monsters you control with card effects, and they cannot be destroyed by your opponent's card effects. Your opponent cannot activate cards or effects in response to the activation of "Ancient Gear" cards and effects. If this card is destroyed in the Spell & Trap Zone: You can Special Summon 1 "Ancient Gear" monster from your hand or Graveyard, also you cannot Special Summon monsters for the rest of this turn, except "Ancient Gear" monsters.
- Ancient Gear Frame
EARTH
Level 4 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 1600 DEF 500 You can discard 1 card; add 1 "Ancient Gear Golem", or 1 Spell/Trap that specifically lists the card "Ancient Gear Golem" in its text, from your Deck to your hand. You can only use this effect of "Ancient Gear Frame" once per turn. If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate Spell/Trap Cards until the end of the Damage Step. If this face-up card in its owner's control leaves the field because of an opponent's card effect: You can Special Summon up to 3 "Ancient Gear Golem" and/or "Ancient Gear Golem - Ultimate Pound" from your hand, ignoring their Summoning conditions.
- Ancient Gear Fusion
SPELL Fusion Summon 1 "Ancient Gear" Fusion Monster from your Extra Deck, using monsters from your hand or field as Fusion Material. If you use "Ancient Gear Golem" or "Ancient Gear Golem - Ultimate Pound" you control as Fusion Material, you can also use monsters from your Deck as material.
- Ancient Gear Gadget
EARTHLevel 4 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 500 DEF 2000 If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can declare 1 card type (Monster, Spell, or Trap); this turn, if your monster attacks, your opponent cannot activate Spell/Trap Cards or monster effects (whichever was declared) until the end of the Damage Step. Once per turn: You can declare 1 "Gadget" monster's card name; until the End Phase, this card's name becomes that name.
- Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Chimera
TEXASLevel 6 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 2300 DEF 1300 This card gains the appropriate effects if you Normal Summon it by Tributing these monsters.
●Green Gadget: This card gains 300 ATK.
●Red Gadget: If this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent by a direct attack: Inflict 500 damage to your opponent.
●Yellow Gadget: If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle: Inflict 700 damage to your opponent.
- Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Dragon
EARTHLevel 8 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 3000 DEF 2000 If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate any Spell/Trap Cards until the end of the Damage Step. This card gains the appropriate effects if you Normal Summon it by Tributing these monsters.
●Green Gadget: If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent.
●Red Gadget: If this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent: Inflict 400 damage to your opponent.
●Yellow Gadget: If this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle: Inflict 600 damage to your opponent.
- Ancient Gear Golem
EARTHLevel 8 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 3000 DEF 3000 Cannot be Special Summoned. If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate any Spell/Trap Cards until the end of the Damage Step. If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage.
- Ancient Gear Golem - Ultimate Pound
EARTHLevel 8 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 3000 DEF 3000 Cannot be Special Summoned. If this card attacks at Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage. Up to twice per turn, when this attacking card destroys a monster by battle: You can discard 1 Machine monster; this card can attack again in a row. If this card on the field is destroyed by battle or card effect: You can add 1 "Polymerization" from your Deck to your hand, and if you do, add 1 other "Ancient Gear" monster from your GY to your hand.
- Ancient Gear Howitzer
EARTHLevel 8 [ Machine / Fusion / Effect ] ATK 1000 DEF 1800 2 "Ancient Gear" monsters
Unaffected by other cards' effects. During your Main Phase: You can inflict 1000 damage to your opponent. You can only shoot this effect of "Ancient Gear Howitzer" once per turn. If this card is destroyed by battle and sent to the Graveyard: You can Special Summon 1 "Ancient Gear" monster from your Deck, ignoring its Summoning conditions.
- Ancient Gear Hunting Hound
EARTHLevel 3 [ Machine / Effect ] ATK 1000 DEF 1000 If this card is Normal Summoned: Inflict 600 damage to your opponent. If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate any Spell/Trap Cards until the end of the Damage Step. Once per turn: You can Fusion Summon 1 "Ancient Gear" Fusion Monster from your Extra Deck, using monsters from your hand or field as Fusion Materials.
kekw?
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?
I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Smogon University, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Pokemon Showdown, and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in pokemon warfare and I’m the top pokemon trainer in the entire Smogon armed forces.
You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pokemon assassins across Smogon and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.
The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. I'm bluedoom shooting at Tribe Haley From Too Hot To Handle.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Smogon Pokemon Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.
bluedoom shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
I know all about how Energy shoots at tribe jessica from Love Is Blind. I know all about yours secrets. Don't underestimate me, a trainer of the elite, from Tribe Jessica from Love is blind.
I'll be sending all of my pokemon at you, bitch. Did you know that I own a fucking Inferno Dragon! InferoDragon shoots at Tribe Haley from too hot to handle. I have a fucking Vigilante Vigoroth, you piece of shit. You can't block that mofo any day! And I'll be shooting you myself, bitches. bluedoom shoots at Haley from too hot to Handle.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Smogon University, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Pokemon Showdown, and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in pokemon warfare and I’m the top pokemon trainer in the entire Smogon armed forces.
You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of pokemon assassins across Smogon and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.
The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. I'm bluedoom shooting at Tribe Haley From Too Hot To Handle.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Smogon Pokemon Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.
bluedoom shoots at Tribe Haley from Too Hot to Handle
I know all about how Energy shoots at tribe jessica from Love Is Blind. I know all about yours secrets. Don't underestimate me, a trainer of the elite, from Tribe Jessica from Love is blind.
I'll be sending all of my pokemon at you, bitch. Did you know that I own a fucking Inferno Dragon! InferoDragon shoots at Tribe Haley from too hot to handle. I have a fucking Vigilante Vigoroth, you piece of shit. You can't block that mofo any day! And I'll be shooting you myself, bitches. bluedoom shoots at Haley from too hot to Handle.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
any smilers? :)
this sounds about right but i 0only have a bachelors in econ (and i got the problem wrong lul) so u might want to ask mr host.
i did the problem wrong but hte basic idea is that it's an economics/game theory problem. you set up an outcomes matrix then solve for each player's optimum. the optimum is a mixed equilibrium where the other play cannot play a different set of moves and be better off. this manifests itself as a system of equations, where one equation is that all the probabilities add up to 1. the other probablities are, what is the expected value for going rock/paper/scissors/high5 when the other play plays rock and then paper and then scissors and then h5 (so you hold player 1's action constant, giving you four equations. the expected value will simply be the outcome matrix (eg "1" if player 1 wins because if he wins the round he wins the match, .5 if he loses to not high 5 [because there's a 50% chance of winning for both in r2 2-2]). I'm pretty sure that's right at least. but yea, expected value times the probability that player 2 plays r/p/s/h5. since we don't know that prob, that's what we end up solving for. then you finish up the systems of equations. voila. math is actually not difficult it's just about setting up the right problem and understanding the intuition. (the final equations should have the expected values equal to each other because at equilibrium your expected outcomes should all be the same (can't improve without being worse off somewhere else).
this sounds about right but i 0only have a bachelors in econ (and i got the problem wrong lul) so u might want to ask mr host.