TailGlow's phone-in show (SPECIAL BONUS ROUND: Beef or Bust?)

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
Due to budget reductions, I've been forced out of the recording studio where I previously did my weekly phone-in game slot and reduced to a thread on Smogon. (Yes, I asked them about calling it a post-in show instead, was told it 'ruins the station's reputation' if one of their most popular slots isn't on air.)

This week's game will be the classic phone-in game 'Beef or Bust?' where I offer the chance to win a lifetime's supply of beef to one lucky contestant. All you have to do to enter is post, offering something you would be prepared to give up in order to receive the eternal beef. Whoever submits the most valuable item will be invited to answer a question. If you get it correct, you win the mammoth helping of mighty meat, but if you are wrong, you lose whatever thing you submitted - it really is beef... or bust!

Deadline for entries is Saturday.
 

CaffeineBoost

6th Best Circus Poster of 2023
is a Community Contributor
1651679821902.png


*rrrring rrrring*
...
*rrrring rrrring*

1651679864637.png


"It's the banker..."

You sweat profusely as Noel picks up the telephone. We have no idea how this man got here, and he's answering the phone calls... that's your job. What will management think?

1651679973623.png


"Hello...?

Yeah it's been a horrible round, so what?"


You fear for his sanity as he starts walking around the studio. Onlookers are caught in the drama of the situation. You've just realised you have no idea who the banker even is. Why would a banker be calling about your phone-in show? Has the budget become so bad?

You hear laughing on the other end of the telephone. Noel puts the phone down. He returns to you with a serious look on his face.

1651680229425.png


"Now the banker's been very mean here. We've lost the 250,000 and 100,000 posting points this round, and the offer's going to reflect that, but we still have the 75,000 on the board."

He reaches into his pocket.

"The offer is 500 napkins." *beat*

He lays a pile of tissues on the table. You're sure you've seen a loose 2p coin in there somewhere. It's covered in fluff and hair and god knows what could be within the mucus of this man. How did he even manage to fit 500 napkins in his pocket? That feels like too many, surely.

1651680586981.png


"Now I know what your answer's going to be, but I have to ask you the question."

You don't know how but he's snuck a neon sign into the studio.

"TailGlowVM. 500 napkins. Deal or no deal?"

The audience stares at you, waiting in suspense. How did they get here? This studio doesn't even accommodate an audience.

 

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
View attachment 423412

*rrrring rrrring*
...
*rrrring rrrring*

View attachment 423413


"It's the banker..."

You sweat profusely as Noel picks up the telephone. We have no idea how this man got here, and he's answering the phone calls... that's your job. What will management think?

View attachment 423414

"Hello...?

Yeah it's been a horrible round, so what?"


You fear for his sanity as he starts walking around the studio. Onlookers are caught in the drama of the situation. You've just realised you have no idea who the banker even is. Why would a banker be calling about your phone-in show? Has the budget become so bad?

You hear laughing on the other end of the telephone. Noel puts the phone down. He returns to you with a serious look on his face.

View attachment 423415

"Now the banker's been very mean here. We've lost the 250,000 and 100,000 posting points this round, and the offer's going to reflect that, but we still have the 75,000 on the board."

He reaches into his pocket.

"The offer is 500 napkins." *beat*

He lays a pile of tissues on the table. You're sure you've seen a loose 2p coin in there somewhere. It's covered in fluff and hair and god knows what could be within the mucus of this man. How did he even manage to fit 500 napkins in his pocket? That feels like too many, surely.

View attachment 423417

"Now I know what your answer's going to be, but I have to ask you the question."

You don't know how but he's snuck a neon sign into the studio.

"TailGlowVM. 500 napkins. Deal or no deal?"

The audience stares at you, waiting in suspense. How did they get here? This studio doesn't even accommodate an audience.

OK, I've been told to hurry up a bit with the show, so I present you the chance to win a lifetime's supply of beef... or lose five hundred napkins. It all comes down to whether you can answer the question: *presses question generator button*

What is beef?
 

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
Right, so CaffeineBoost gave me their answer to the question. Now I'll reveal whether you got it correct, but please wait precisely 17.6 seconds before opening the hidden box below:

BUST!

Sorry, CaffeineBoost! We will collect your 500 napkins from you during the week. Better luck next time!


This week, the game will be 'Guess the Picture'. All you need to do is post your guess as to what the picture may be of, with the first correct answer winning 500 napkins! One guess only per account. Deadline Sunday.

Here is your picture:













I apologise for the quality of this photo, I was sent it by the producers and asked them to correct it, but was told the rest of this week's budget went on setting up a memorable phoneline you can use to play.

Just remember, call 9964372864013965753923408 (calls cost £13.72 a minute, and we reserve the right to pass on your number to those call centres that do the scam calls claiming to be from your Internet supplier or that you need to order some COVID tests.) You can also try contacting us by post - it won't work, as the studio is located in a secret underground bunker to avoid press, police and rotten fruit throwers. Oh, wait...
 
Right, so CaffeineBoost gave me their answer to the question. Now I'll reveal whether you got it correct, but please wait precisely 17.6 seconds before opening the hidden box below:

BUST!

Sorry, CaffeineBoost! We will collect your 500 napkins from you during the week. Better luck next time!


This week, the game will be 'Guess the Picture'. All you need to do is post your guess as to what the picture may be of, with the first correct answer winning 500 napkins! One guess only per account. Deadline Sunday.

Here is your picture:













I apologise for the quality of this photo, I was sent it by the producers and asked them to correct it, but was told the rest of this week's budget went on setting up a memorable phoneline you can use to play.

Just remember, call 9964372864013965753923408 (calls cost £13.72 a minute, and we reserve the right to pass on your number to those call centres that do the scam calls claiming to be from your Internet supplier or that you need to order some COVID tests.) You can also try contacting us by post - it won't work, as the studio is located in a secret underground bunker to avoid press, police and rotten fruit throwers. Oh, wait...
human rights
 
Right, so CaffeineBoost gave me their answer to the question. Now I'll reveal whether you got it correct, but please wait precisely 17.6 seconds before opening the hidden box below:

BUST!

Sorry, CaffeineBoost! We will collect your 500 napkins from you during the week. Better luck next time!


This week, the game will be 'Guess the Picture'. All you need to do is post your guess as to what the picture may be of, with the first correct answer winning 500 napkins! One guess only per account. Deadline Sunday.

Here is your picture:













I apologise for the quality of this photo, I was sent it by the producers and asked them to correct it, but was told the rest of this week's budget went on setting up a memorable phoneline you can use to play.

Just remember, call 9964372864013965753923408 (calls cost £13.72 a minute, and we reserve the right to pass on your number to those call centres that do the scam calls claiming to be from your Internet supplier or that you need to order some COVID tests.) You can also try contacting us by post - it won't work, as the studio is located in a secret underground bunker to avoid press, police and rotten fruit throwers. Oh, wait...
The productivity of Brokenmons Unchained
 

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
In addition to the entries here, I received 23 phone entries to the competition, 17 of which are disqualified due to being the same person calling over and over again with an amusing variety of options. The others I shall list here:
  • A bedsheet.
  • A doorknob.
  • An albino woolly mammoth.
  • A plate of cream cheese.
  • Some reeds.
  • Pale-Faced Paul (and no, I have no idea who he is either.)
Unfortunately everyone was wrong - the answer was a polar bear in a blizzard. For our next game, I am proud to announce we have a new sponsor of the show, Farmers' Finest, who will be providing us with prizes.

The next game will be 'Next Best Thing'. You already know what this is from whatever tier you play, but here we will take it into the real world: I will nominate an item, and you need to come up with the next best thing you can do with the item, besides the conventional use. This time, the item will be a wooden spoon. The only banned use is anything to do with stirring food - what else will you do with it?

Note: this round is audience participation - react to any submissions you like, as the number of likes determines the winner.
 

Ullar

card-carrying wife-guy
is a Smogon Discord Contributor
if polished enough, yea it could be used for intimate purposes. i cant say i havennt trued stranger things
 

Ullar

card-carrying wife-guy
is a Smogon Discord Contributor
unrelated to the thread but i wanted the world to know that i saw this thread had updated while browsing smogon on my phone. so i click it, right? it takes me to an ad. a bit mire intrusive than what i'm used to, but ads aren't immoral, so that's fine. i believe ads are an inherently good concept, but that's another story. anyway, this ad was different: it prompted me to press play before i could wait out the five seconds until i could skip it. i listened to five seconds of a way-too-loud Reese's ad, and was mashing the skip button the whole time. after i made it through that obtuse, tedious process, I saw there wasa new post. And what am I greeted by?
Eating food
not a jab against you as a poster taken as a whole, friend, but this uninspired post ledt me feeling frustrated and disappointed after everything i went through to see it.

just wanted to share. gday all!
 

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
With the most votes out of all entries, you are the winner! Congratulations, I am now sending 100 tonnes of Farmers' Finest™ manure to your doorstep, and I'll throw in 500 napkins for free to help you clean up the mess.

This week's game is 'Fill the Blanks'. All you have to do is fill in all the blank words in the text below with the most creative, but still sensible, words you can. (As funny as it may be, I'm not allowing you to walk up some paint or eat a blanket, for example.) One word per box, one entry per user. Most creative answer wins!

On ____, I ____ into a ____ and ____ a toothbrush. There was something wrong with the ____ - it was ____! I realised there was only one way to fix it - I ____ the handle and opened the ____. A ____ leapt out and ____ the ____. The horror of what I had done could be seen - someone would ____ soon.

To enter, just post on this thread or call 9964372864013965753923408 - calls cost £13.72 a minute as before, and we will pass on your phone number to whoever we want. You might want to phone still, as every loser's entry on this thread is being charged - I'm not allowed to know how much but the station manager has just bought a second mansion.
 
On the first day of Christmas, I fell into a pear tree and threw a toothbrush. There was something wrong with the basement door - it was rapidly turning into a bird! I realised there was only one way to fix it - I punched the handle and opened the door. A skeleton wearing a blue jacket leapt out and finished the transformation of the door. The horror of what I had done could be seen - someone would play Rush E on the piano soon.
 

Sijih

game show genius
is a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributor
Moderator
On my trip to Florida, I walked into a retirement community and went to a Publix to buy a toothbrush. There was something wrong with the neighborhood - it was full of alligators, and one of them was chasing me! I realised [sic] there was only one way to fix it - I sprinted towards the handle and opened the door to my BMW 750Li with 22 inch spinner rims, Miami beach style. A python leapt out and ate the alligator that was chasing me. The horror of what I had done could be seen - someone would call the HOA about after-hours running from gators soon!

Sorry if some of my mad-libs have more than one word. I'm not very good at counting.
 

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
Thank you for your submissions! This week's winner is Sijih! You have won a lifetime supply of beef stock, made with 100% Farmer's Finest™ cow carcasses - we're sending you the vouchers you need in the post so you can buy the stock at your local sewage works.

Our next game will be 'Find the Rule'. In this game the goal is to find the rule that is either obeyed by an entry or not. Post an entry and I will mark it with a 'Like' if it obeys the rule. Here's the catch for this game: everybody plays together against me, the host. The station has $1000 prize money available, and each post from now until the end of the game, other than those by me, costs the same amount as all the previous guesses put together, starting at $1 (so $1 is taken off the jackpot if you get the rule in one post, $2 in total is removed if it takes two posts, $4 if it takes three posts, $8 if it takes four, and so on). However, if you exceed the $1000 prize money in entry costs then nobody wins any money and the phone bills for entering are increased until your debt is paid off. Whoever identifies the rule wins the remaining jackpot!

Current jackpot: $872
 
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