I knew that, by entering this competition, I would antagonize the already-tremendous umbrage of my pathetic detractors who I presume dislike me for being an erudite among fools. Nonetheless, the kind Asian people beseeched me to come to their aidIwon2-0ggs, and I was so flattered by their plea that I fitted my straps, donned my armor, and rode my noble steed, Kühe, to the battlefield. Yes, I admit that this was not my glorious performance; however, those who know me know my adage: "success is not measured by a supreme stone, but by a whole, sturdy house." He who rests on his laurels will never find out what he truly has to offer, nor he will discover whether or not the generation that succeeded him was more successful. Indeed, resilience is the true measure of victory. I believe my resilience has, as always, inspired others to never perish when in a duel with that puerile beast, Hate, but to remain confident and humble no matter how arduous the battle may be.
To you bovine lummoxes who wanted me to fail but ended up even more lethargic from my triumphant victory, to those of you repugnant, foul children who abetted others in the crusade of calumny against their respected, venerable elder, to those of you who dared cast aspersions towards my noble character unjustly, I am happy to say that I leave this battlefield as a winner, while you leave as the rotten loser. If you have a problem with me leaving the battlefield as a winner as you as the rotten loser, I have but one thing to say to all of you:
SWIM IN GARBAGE, OOOOOOOOOOO YOU GARRRRRBBBBBAAAAAGGGEEEEEE!