Those Damned floating rocks (My first ou warstory)

Today I was laddering on the OU ladder with the team that made me lose every single match in r1 for the world cup of pokemon (I swear it's still a good team!) and came across a "random" person that gave me one of my favorite matches that I have played.This is my first warstory so I would love some criticism. We both had offensive teams with two different strategies, mine was a u-turn based team who's aim is to lure and kill bulky waters while his was filled with very fast sweepers. This warstory shows how vital it can be to set up rocks.

My team:


itchni's moves will look like this.
Kamikaze12's moves will look like this.
other text will look like this.
Leftovers will be removed.
Sandstorm/hail damage will be removed.
Scores will be shown after each KO.

Rules: Ladder Match, Sleep Clause, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Evasion Clause, Species Clause, Strict Damage Clause
itchni sent out Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Kamikaze12 sent out Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
vs.

It's Azelf vs. Azelf I don't run max speed, opting to run more SpD evs to set up and explode on more things. I am not sure what kind of azelf it is, colbur or focus sash but my guess would be focus sash. Mine is the colbur berry lead so I u-turn out
Azelf used U-turn.
It's super effective!
Azelf lost 72% of its health.
itchni switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Azelf used Stealth Rock.
Pointed stones float in the air around the foe's team!
---
vs.

Flygon used U-turn.
It's super effective!
Azelf lost 28% of its health.
Kamikaze12's Azelf fainted.
(6-5)
Not much to say. I U-turn my flygon out to finish off azelf and bring in my own azelf, which barring a few select pokemon would allow me to set up rocks, which is his job...
itchni switched in Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Pointed stones dug into Azelf.
Azelf lost 12% of its health.
---

Kamikaze12 switched in Jolteon (lvl 100 Jolteon ?).
vs.

But unfortunately he brings in one of the few pokemon I can't set up rocks on. My SpD evs won't help me here because a specsed tbolt or shadowball would still OHKO me, this is probally the most influential move in the match but at this point I am still confident mainly because I have all the momentum
itchni switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Jolteon used Thunderbolt.
It doesn't affect Flygon...
I bring in flygon to take the expected Tbolt and here is where it starts to get tricky. I have 2 options:
I can predict the switch and use U-turn, or I can use EQ. I have faced many jolteon that have stayed in expecting the U-turn. My team doesn't have anyone that can take a T-bolt other then flygon so i go for the erthquake and hope for the best.
vs.

---
Kamikaze12 switched in Gengar (lvl 100 Gengar ?).
Gengar makes ground moves miss with Levitate!
Flygon used Earthquake.
Flygon's attack missed!
And there he is,Gengar that horrifying ghost. He took all my momentum and turned it around right back at me. I know he is gonna get a sub up, which really sucks. sub gengar is a real fearsome pokemon (I would know :P)
vs.

---
I switch in my machamp, who can take a shadowball and break his sub, which is what machamp is there to do. He can take most unboosted hits and hit back hard with STAB dynamic punch or in this case, payback.
vs.

itchni switched in Machamp (lvl 100 Machamp ?).
Pointed stones dug into Machamp.
Machamp lost 6% of its health.
Gengar used Substitute.
Gengar lost 25% of its health.
Gengar made a substitute!
---
Gengar used Shadow Ball.
Machamp lost 57% of its health.
Gengar lost 10% of its health.
Machamp used Payback.
It's super effective!
The substitute took damage for Gengar!
Gengar's substitute faded!
---
Gengar used Shadow Ball.
Machamp lost 37% of its health.
itchni's Machamp fainted.
Pretty basic, machamp does his job and breaks gengars sub
(5-5)
Gengar lost 10% of its health.
---
I switch in gengar, hoping to scare him away with the speed tie and set up my own sub, even if i don't I still have a chance to outspeed and try to win another speed tie for shadowball. It's a risky move but one that i would rather take then randomly outraging with flygon
vs.

itchni switched in Gengar (lvl 100 Gengar ?).
Pointed stones dug into Gengar.
Gengar lost 12% of its health.
Gengar used Shadow Ball.
It's super effective!
Gengar lost 88% of its health.
itchni's Gengar fainted.
(4-5)
Gengar lost 10% of its health.
---
It did come to getting locked into outrage. Tpunch won't KO gengar, unfortunately so I have to outrage and get locked for 2-3 turns. This is not a good situation for me because if he has something like cm suicune it could be all over for me.
itchni switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Flygon used Outrage.
Flygon went on a rampage!
Gengar lost 45% of its health.
Kamikaze12's Gengar fainted.
(4-4)
---
Kamikaze12 switched in Gyarados (lvl 100 Gyarados ?).
vs.

My opponent brings in his gyarados, which is a pretty good choice. Flygon is pretty weak offensively especially with -1 attack. I hope for a 2 turn outrage..
Gyarados's Intimidate cut Flygon's attack!
Flygon used Outrage.
Gyarados lost 30% of its health.
Gyarados used Dragon Dance.
Gyarados's attack was raised.
Gyarados's speed was raised.
---
Flygon used Outrage.
Gyarados lost 30% of its health.
Gyarados used Dragon Dance.
Gyarados's attack was raised.
Gyarados's speed was raised.
Flygon's rampage ended.
Flygon became confused!
Which didn't happen, but all is not lost, flygon outspeeds him still and packs Tpunch. I use azelf as death fodder
---
itchni switched in Azelf (lvl 100 Azelf).
Pointed stones dug into Azelf.
Azelf lost 12% of its health.
Gyarados used Waterfall.
Azelf lost 75% of its health.
itchni's Azelf fainted.
(3-4)
---
SO azelf goes down and I bring back flygon, I am sure he is pretty confident that he can outspeed me but unfortunately even with +2 speed, I win and beat him to a pulp with thunder punch.
itchni switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Flygon used Thunderpunch.
It's super effective!
Gyarados lost 59% of its health.
Kamikaze12's Gyarados fainted.
(3-3)
---
Kamikaze12 switched in Celebi (lvl 100 Celebi).
vs.

So in comes celebi, who resists tpunch and also has decent 100/100 defences so I obviously can't do anything. Its highly likely that following the offensive nature of the team that celebi is of the life orb variety so i send in infernape who resists celebi's grass knot or leaf storm and can scare if off with stab overheat
itchni switched in Infernape (lvl 100 Infernape ?).
Pointed stones dug into Infernape.
Infernape lost 12% of its health.
Celebi used Leaf Storm.
It's not very effective...
Infernape lost 58% of its health.
Celebi's special attack was harshly lowered.
vs.

So I only lose 70% of my health and I'm in a pretty good position. I choose overheat because it will do tons of damage to just about anything he has at this point..
---
Kamikaze12 switched in Infernape (lvl 100 Infernape ?).
Infernape used Overheat.
It's not very effective...
Infernape lost 88% of its health.
Infernape's special attack was harshly lowered.
Infernape lost 10% of its health.
And this is where having rocks up would have REALLY helped. Infernape barely hangs on.
vs.

---
Infernape used Mach Punch.
Infernape lost 20% of its health.
itchni's Infernape fainted.
(2-3)
Infernape lost 10% of its health.
His infernape finished mine off with a mach punch unfortunately it didn't come down to a speed tie.
---
itchni switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
vs.

Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Infernape used Mach Punch.
Flygon lost 30% of its health.
Infernape lost 2% of its health.
Kamikaze12's Infernape fainted.
(2-2)
Flygon used U-turn.
But there was no target!
I U-turn expecting a celebi switch in but it doesn't matter he mach punches again and kills himself from life orb damage.
---
Kamikaze12 switched in Celebi (lvl 100 Celebi).
Flygon used U-turn.
It's super effective!
Celebi lost 72% of its health.

I am locked into u-turn and I hit him for some serious damage. I then go to empoleon who at the point is just death fodder, unfortunately you did nothing this fight empoleon
vs.

itchni switched in Empoleon (lvl 100 Empoleon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Empoleon.
Empoleon lost 6% of its health.
Celebi used Leaf Storm.
A critical hit!
Empoleon lost 94% of its health.
itchni's Empoleon fainted.
(1-2)
Celebi's special attack was harshly lowered.
That crit didn't matter, celebi outspeeds empoleon anyways so it would still have been a 2HKO
---
vs.

itchni switched in Flygon (lvl 100 Flygon ?).
Pointed stones dug into Flygon.
Flygon lost 6% of its health.
Flygon used Outrage.
Flygon went on a rampage!
A critical hit!
Celebi lost 34% of its health.
Kamikaze12's Celebi fainted.
(1-1)
I outrage celebi, knowing that EQ wouldn't do enough to KO celebi. I know that it's down to how much flygon's outrage does against a specs jolteon
Jolly Choice Scarf Flygons Outrage vs Choice specs Joleton: 91.1% - 107.7%
I have about a 50:50 chance of winning this, which would have been 100% if rocks were down. We both know that this good fun game has come down to a simple roll in the random number generator so we echange our gg's
---
RyCroc has entered the room.
Kamikaze12 switched in Jolteon (lvl 100 Jolteon ?).
Kamikaze12: gg
itchni: gg























Flygon used Outrage.


















Jolteon lost 96% of its health.
Jolteon used Shadow Ball.
Flygon lost 40% of its health.
itchni's Flygon fainted.
(0-1)
Kamikaze12 wins!
Kamikaze12 has left the room.
RyCroc has left the room.
TheBunny6969 has entered the room.
TheBunny6969 has left the room.

This log was formatted using Warmachine Version 1.0
http://www.smogon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45074

And unfortunately I come out with the short end of the stick

Props:
Fairly good predicting from both players
Flygon for completely dominating the match
Kamikaze12's Gengar for completely reversing the momentum of the match and allowing him to get the upper hand.
Not a haxless match, but the hax that did happen didn't matter all too much
Jolteon for not allowing me to set up stealth rock

Slops:
5/6 of my team doing barely anything
Losing gengar for absolutely no reason
Kamikaze12 for not realizing that I outsped his gyarados

Pokemon of the match:
Itchni's flygon
Kamikaze12's Gengar

Move of the Match:
Stealth rock

Kamikaze12's Team:
 
I think he was saying Jolteon was Timid (wording was a little funny). It was a pretty "meh" warstory. The fact that he started Outraging with Flygon so early in the battle is kind of a "red flag". Not really a great warstory in terms of outplaying each other. I don't think ScarfJolt is a good idea but thats just me. I guess it was an okay battle for a first attempt.

5/10 :( sorry

edit:
Fairly good match pictures would be nice but not required. Comments were decent and the lay out was nice
There are pictures. ?_?
 
Ah...I see. Anyway, nice try for a first warstory, though tbh I didn't really enjoy seeing your team get slaughtered by opposing Gengar.
 
I guess that the match wasn't the best in outplaying each other, but this really shows how getting up stealth rocks up can dictate how a match goes. As for outraging early, I really had no choice.

And jolteon had choice specs.

And thanks for the kind words and criticism, definitely going to help with my next warstory.
 
I think there's an error with the sprites right after "Jolteon used Thunderbolt. It doesn't affect Flygon" That Azelf should be either Jolteon or Gengar, or maybe you left out something in the log and it really is Azelf.

Edit: Understood what you meant in your commentary that I thought was a type. Nevermind.

Overall good story, good presentation. Next time try for a battle with more mindgames or bluffs. Those are the most fun to read IMO. I'd read another one of your warstories, so that's a success.
 
To be completely honest with you this was pretty bad. The battle was you getting raped by several of your opponents pokemon and them showcasing your comeback with Flygon. Commentary wasn't really great either.
 

Athenodoros

Official Smogon Know-It-All
A good story, but just for anyone looking at comments because they are thinking of writing their own, can we PLEASE have less of the 'cliffhanger', 'skip 20 lines befor the last turn' ending? There have been at least four or five warstories just recently with this in the last week or two.

And while I remember, props to you for showing a match you lost. It's rare, and it's a nice change, even if you might have deserved it given how you played with Flygon (Outrage & EQ early on).
 

DetroitLolcat

Maize and Blue Badge Set 2014-2017
is a CAP Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnus
6/10

Not bad. A decent warstory, no great predictions or amazing plays, but no terribly boring. I hope to see you write more warstories later on!
 

kokoloko

what matters is our plan!
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Past SPL Champion
Fuck SR, in my warstory I didn't need them! lol

On a more serious note: It was an okay warstory, the battle was kind of meh, the commentary was kind of meh, and the formatting was kind of meh. I know this sounds bad but hear me out, nothing you did is so bad that it's not an easy fix. The only thing I didn't like about the formatting was the line spacing, try spacing out each turn, commentary, and each time you show the health of the mons. More insightful commentary would be great; for example, telling us how you were actually planning to win would've been cool. Unfortunately, the actual battle can't be "fixed," per se, but the thing is, it was pretty close to being warstory worthy, just not quite there yet. Also, as others have said, the attempt at a suspenseful ending with the over spacing has been done, plenty, so steer away from that next time.

Other than that, it was decent. I hope you find a better battle, and try again using some of the pointers I, and others, have given you. =)
 
Koko pretty much summed it up for me.
The formatting was ok, but it needs to be spaced out a little more, imo. Otherwise, most of it was fairly decent.
 
I'm just glad to see it wasn't the OP who won this warstory, since he was outplayed and this warstory showcased that. He didn't make some ridiculously unrealistic comeback (crithax or freezehax like a previous warstory), but managed to bring it close regardless.

The battle was rather average and your comments weren't as detailed as I had liked, but this was a decent warstory altogether.

6/10
 
Good first warstory, but left something to be desired. The battle wasn't anything special, just a series of KOs. The teams were both standard 6-OU offense, even having three of the same Pokemon (Azelf, Gengar, Infernape). Your commentary was par. Your formatting was par. Everything was kind of average. A good warstory needs to stand out. Yours didn't. Still, with this experience and a better battle, you should have a better second warstory.
 
first off i'm a total noob and new to the competitive pokemon world. i thought this warstory was very informational.

can anyways explain to me why itchni couldn't set up stealth rocks on jolteon?
 

Fatecrashers

acta est fabula
is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Top Artist Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
first off i'm a total noob and new to the competitive pokemon world. i thought this warstory was very informational.

can anyways explain to me why itchni couldn't set up stealth rocks on jolteon?
Jolteon outspeeds a damaged Azelf and KOs it with Shadow Ball or Thunderbolt before Azelf can do anything.
 
This warstory was okay. The formatting was far from perfect and more pictures would have helped. The battle was average. I think that once you find a battle to really really work with, you'll get a lot more positive feedback.

Go Flygon! Can't wait for your next warstory (this is good for your first one)

6.5/10
 

badabing

pocket monsta
All those u-turns were cute I guess. Never thought of flygon as bringin' da ruckus exactly, but what ev he almost won it for you. Those rocks will make or break you sometimes. Kind of a skim, but still a decent warstory.

6/10

Lurker's first post...GET LARGE!
 
Good warstory. I wish you put in some more commentary also. And try putting spaces between each turn, I think someone else already said that but oh well.

Anyway, 6/10. ;)
 

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