Tournament Ubers Premier League IX - Week 4

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I would like to improve the world. First and foremost, I often see galactically presumptuous leguleians attacking the fabric of this nation. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Luna’s Banned Now because I must admit that I’ve read only a small fraction of Luna’s Banned Now’s tractates. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I’ve read enough of Luna’s Banned Now’s tractates to know that one of Luna’s Banned Now’s lapdogs once said, Only vengeful, sententious yutzes exhibit traits such as individualism, empiricism, objective-linear thinking, and punctuality. Now that’s pretty funny, of course, but I didn’t include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that if it were up to me, I would create a political atmosphere in which the zero-sum model of group competition gives way to coalitions among groups so that they can work together to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds that contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their psychotic lamentations. At a minimum, I would like to see more people acknowledge that it’s often hard to decipher Luna’s Banned Now’s hostile comments. Obviously, he flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I warrant that in this case, Luna’s Banned Now’s programs of Gleichschaltung may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into crapulous gangsterism. Though the bad-tempered spring up like grass and vexatious pickpockets flourish, they are doomed to be destroyed forever—especially if we acknowledge the ideological forces that attempt to shape our lives. If we’re in that fight to win, we need to get serious about making the details of Luna’s Banned Now’s disgraceful modes of thought as widely known as possible. Their horror may make people realize…they must realize…by God, they shall realize that Luna’s Banned Now should keep his half-baked, know-nothing opinions to himself. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that his epithets are a mess of disconnected and disorganized thoughts. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to fight tooth and nail against him, I must explain to the population at large that I’ve heard him say that it’s bookish to mention a bit about distasteful misosophists such as Luna’s Banned Now. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Luna’s Banned Now secretly trying to turn public education into a fuzzy, soft, touchy-feely experience whose purpose is socialization, not learning? That’s the question that perplexes me the most because his attempts to break down our communities are much worse than mere militarism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation.

I, as someone who approaches new information critically, rationally, and empirically, hope that humanity will rid this earth of illiberal quacks with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. I hardly need to tell you that anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for advanced thought in the humanities already knows that Luna’s Banned Now is capable of monstrous effrontery and infamous misrepresentation. What may be news, however, is that he believes strongly in shredding the basic compact between the people and their government. Such draconian measures are bound to backfire on him eventually although it’s also the case that many people are wondering, Just how sanguinolent can Luna’s Banned Now get? I wish people would stop asking that question; Luna’s Banned Now is apparently taking it as a challenge. Perhaps that’s because his uncouth shock troops fundamentally believe that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. Alas, this deeply held belief is fiction from start to finish. Every piece of evidence I can find makes it abundantly clear that I welcome Luna’s Banned Now’s comments. However, Luna’s Banned Now needs to realize that he promises his goombahs that as soon as he’s finished playing the blame game, they’ll all become rich beyond their wildest dreams. There’s an obvious analogy here to the way that vultures eat a cadaver and from its rottenness insects and worms suck their food. The point is that if Luna’s Banned Now feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that’s just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself.

Luna’s Banned Now wants to see a love of radicalism inculcated in children from a very early age. You might maintain I’m telling you this because I like to beat up on Luna’s Banned Now. Really, that isn’t my principal reason. I don’t especially need to beat up on him because he is already despised by decent and knowledgeable people almost everywhere. As will be discussed in more detail later in this letter, he must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That’s the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that truth is merely a social construct. What I actually said is that I, not being an unrestrained drug lord, am decidedly not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that I feel that we should let Luna’s Banned Now prattle on about how his writings are a veritable encyclopedia of everything that is directly pertinent to mankind’s spiritual and intellectual development. At this point, such exsufflicate jibber jabber is harmless enough, albeit a little unsettling. Nevertheless, it does demonstrate how last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince Luna’s Banned Now that he makes decisions based on random things glamorized by the press and the resulting rantings of tyrannous, morally questionable boeotians. As I expected, Luna’s Banned Now was unconvinced.

I think it’s important to continue discussing this even after I’ve made my point because certain facts are clear. For instance, Luna’s Banned Now’s lackeys don’t want us to encourage individuals to come out of their cocoons and flourish. That’d be too much of a threat to despotism, unilateralism, and all of the other jaded things they worship. Clearly, they prefer feeding blind hatred. Luna’s Banned Now’s ruses serve as a stepping stone to world government. And who will compose that world government? A ruling class consisting of oppugnant, lickerish fanatics and out-of-control, stentorian satyrs. Don’t let yourself be buffaloed by Luna’s Banned Now. Don’t let yourself be persuaded to believe that snotty finks aren’t ever fiendish just because a lot of miserable, dour hostes generis humani happen to believe that. Analyze the arguments for yourself and see if you agree with my claim that Luna’s Banned Now doesn’t realize that there are two sides to every story. So when he asserts that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine, he should also consider that I’m by no means the first person to expose him as a pea-brained, brain-damaged no-goodnik. However, it’s still somewhat rare for anyone to state publicly that my objection to Luna’s Banned Now is not that he tries to make us think as he does but that he tries to make us do as he thinks.

Woe betide you if you challenge Luna’s Banned Now’s directionless claim that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. Apparently, that belief is sacred dogma to Luna’s Banned Now’s menials; to question it is sacrilege. You’ll be shouted down forever after, even if you’re merely attempting to state something innocuous such as that I once tried to explain to Luna’s Banned Now that his perceptions will take rights away from individuals whom only Luna’s Banned Now perceives as quixotic. Rather than feel ashamed of himself, Luna’s Banned Now got angry at me. What this says is that Luna’s Banned Now’s underlings hate when I rub their noses in the truth. They hate when I provide evidence that some deep void within Luna’s Banned Now makes it necessary for him to cause one-sided obloquies to be entered into historical fact. They hate when I write that some of his goons have privately reassured me that Luna’s Banned Now isn’t as impertinent as he sounds. Rather, they allege, Luna’s Banned Now is just playing the cards that he thinks he needs to. I don’t buy that excuse. Luna’s Banned Now may have started as non-impertinent, but he’s now absolutely invested in denying minorities a cultural voice. Consider, for example, how this is a free country, and I, speaking as someone who is not an inveterate, anal-retentive Luddite, profess we ought to keep it that way.

Luna’s Banned Now avers that the reason he wants me to die an agonizing death, be given no burial place, and have my soul chased by demons in Gehenna from one room to another for all eternity and more is not out of hatred for me but merely because he’s disappointed that I’m not living up to my own ideals. That’s indeed a lie of biblical proportions. The truth is that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Luna’s Banned Now stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that I live in fear of duplicitous, hate-filled incubi laying down diktats that force me to jump in the lake. Even Luna’s Banned Now graciously admitted that such people are somewhat inconsiderate. He stopped short, however, of acknowledging that he is stepping over the line when he attempts to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem—way over the line. I would like to close by saying that Luna’s Banned Now frequently writes self-contradictory, nonsensical sentences that are actually just phrases or sentence fragments filled with grammatical, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation errors.
 

Luna's Banned now

Jack the Dripper
is a Tiering Contributor Alumnus
I would like to improve the world. First and foremost, I often see galactically presumptuous leguleians attacking the fabric of this nation. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Luna’s Banned Now because I must admit that I’ve read only a small fraction of Luna’s Banned Now’s tractates. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I’ve read enough of Luna’s Banned Now’s tractates to know that one of Luna’s Banned Now’s lapdogs once said, Only vengeful, sententious yutzes exhibit traits such as individualism, empiricism, objective-linear thinking, and punctuality. Now that’s pretty funny, of course, but I didn’t include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that if it were up to me, I would create a political atmosphere in which the zero-sum model of group competition gives way to coalitions among groups so that they can work together to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds that contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their psychotic lamentations. At a minimum, I would like to see more people acknowledge that it’s often hard to decipher Luna’s Banned Now’s hostile comments. Obviously, he flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I warrant that in this case, Luna’s Banned Now’s programs of Gleichschaltung may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into crapulous gangsterism. Though the bad-tempered spring up like grass and vexatious pickpockets flourish, they are doomed to be destroyed forever—especially if we acknowledge the ideological forces that attempt to shape our lives. If we’re in that fight to win, we need to get serious about making the details of Luna’s Banned Now’s disgraceful modes of thought as widely known as possible. Their horror may make people realize…they must realize…by God, they shall realize that Luna’s Banned Now should keep his half-baked, know-nothing opinions to himself. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that his epithets are a mess of disconnected and disorganized thoughts. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to fight tooth and nail against him, I must explain to the population at large that I’ve heard him say that it’s bookish to mention a bit about distasteful misosophists such as Luna’s Banned Now. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Luna’s Banned Now secretly trying to turn public education into a fuzzy, soft, touchy-feely experience whose purpose is socialization, not learning? That’s the question that perplexes me the most because his attempts to break down our communities are much worse than mere militarism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation.
I must give you my greatest apology. I never meant it to go this far. When I started these shenanigans, I imagined nothing of such a serious matter. I didn't mean to harm your dignity, respect, or honor. But, now that's it's gone this far, I can only do one thing; apologize. So, from the bottom of my intellect, family, pride, and dogs, I give you my strongest and hardiest apology. I hope you could forgive me one day.
 

JT Yao

Banned deucer.
It pains me to have to take a break from UPL to focus on my medical school applications. Nevertheless, I’ll be back on discord in a few weeks. Stone_Cold No harm, no foul. Even tho I’m apparently bipolar, I still love you king! Staxi Win ULT! steelskitty You’re the goat manager! Luna's Banned now Dont apologize, keep your pride and dignity intact. And this one’s for my main man Basedburner who won his first UPL game today! Keep believing in the JT Yao Vision my friends and I’ll see you all later!

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AM

GMT-4 please schedule on my wall not discord.
is a Community Contributoris a Community Leader Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion

SparksBlade

is a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Battle Simulator Driver
Moderator
I would like to improve the world. First and foremost, I often see galactically presumptuous leguleians attacking the fabric of this nation. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Luna’s Banned Now because I must admit that I’ve read only a small fraction of Luna’s Banned Now’s tractates. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I’ve read enough of Luna’s Banned Now’s tractates to know that one of Luna’s Banned Now’s lapdogs once said, Only vengeful, sententious yutzes exhibit traits such as individualism, empiricism, objective-linear thinking, and punctuality. Now that’s pretty funny, of course, but I didn’t include that quote just to make you laugh. I included it to convince you that if it were up to me, I would create a political atmosphere in which the zero-sum model of group competition gives way to coalitions among groups so that they can work together to enable adversaries to meet each other and establish direct personal bonds that contradict the stereotypes they rely upon to power their psychotic lamentations. At a minimum, I would like to see more people acknowledge that it’s often hard to decipher Luna’s Banned Now’s hostile comments. Obviously, he flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I warrant that in this case, Luna’s Banned Now’s programs of Gleichschaltung may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into crapulous gangsterism. Though the bad-tempered spring up like grass and vexatious pickpockets flourish, they are doomed to be destroyed forever—especially if we acknowledge the ideological forces that attempt to shape our lives. If we’re in that fight to win, we need to get serious about making the details of Luna’s Banned Now’s disgraceful modes of thought as widely known as possible. Their horror may make people realize…they must realize…by God, they shall realize that Luna’s Banned Now should keep his half-baked, know-nothing opinions to himself. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that his epithets are a mess of disconnected and disorganized thoughts. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to fight tooth and nail against him, I must explain to the population at large that I’ve heard him say that it’s bookish to mention a bit about distasteful misosophists such as Luna’s Banned Now. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Luna’s Banned Now secretly trying to turn public education into a fuzzy, soft, touchy-feely experience whose purpose is socialization, not learning? That’s the question that perplexes me the most because his attempts to break down our communities are much worse than mere militarism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation.

I, as someone who approaches new information critically, rationally, and empirically, hope that humanity will rid this earth of illiberal quacks with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. I hardly need to tell you that anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for advanced thought in the humanities already knows that Luna’s Banned Now is capable of monstrous effrontery and infamous misrepresentation. What may be news, however, is that he believes strongly in shredding the basic compact between the people and their government. Such draconian measures are bound to backfire on him eventually although it’s also the case that many people are wondering, Just how sanguinolent can Luna’s Banned Now get? I wish people would stop asking that question; Luna’s Banned Now is apparently taking it as a challenge. Perhaps that’s because his uncouth shock troops fundamentally believe that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. Alas, this deeply held belief is fiction from start to finish. Every piece of evidence I can find makes it abundantly clear that I welcome Luna’s Banned Now’s comments. However, Luna’s Banned Now needs to realize that he promises his goombahs that as soon as he’s finished playing the blame game, they’ll all become rich beyond their wildest dreams. There’s an obvious analogy here to the way that vultures eat a cadaver and from its rottenness insects and worms suck their food. The point is that if Luna’s Banned Now feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that’s just too darn bad. His arrogance has brought this upon himself.

Luna’s Banned Now wants to see a love of radicalism inculcated in children from a very early age. You might maintain I’m telling you this because I like to beat up on Luna’s Banned Now. Really, that isn’t my principal reason. I don’t especially need to beat up on him because he is already despised by decent and knowledgeable people almost everywhere. As will be discussed in more detail later in this letter, he must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That’s the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that truth is merely a social construct. What I actually said is that I, not being an unrestrained drug lord, am decidedly not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that I feel that we should let Luna’s Banned Now prattle on about how his writings are a veritable encyclopedia of everything that is directly pertinent to mankind’s spiritual and intellectual development. At this point, such exsufflicate jibber jabber is harmless enough, albeit a little unsettling. Nevertheless, it does demonstrate how last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince Luna’s Banned Now that he makes decisions based on random things glamorized by the press and the resulting rantings of tyrannous, morally questionable boeotians. As I expected, Luna’s Banned Now was unconvinced.

I think it’s important to continue discussing this even after I’ve made my point because certain facts are clear. For instance, Luna’s Banned Now’s lackeys don’t want us to encourage individuals to come out of their cocoons and flourish. That’d be too much of a threat to despotism, unilateralism, and all of the other jaded things they worship. Clearly, they prefer feeding blind hatred. Luna’s Banned Now’s ruses serve as a stepping stone to world government. And who will compose that world government? A ruling class consisting of oppugnant, lickerish fanatics and out-of-control, stentorian satyrs. Don’t let yourself be buffaloed by Luna’s Banned Now. Don’t let yourself be persuaded to believe that snotty finks aren’t ever fiendish just because a lot of miserable, dour hostes generis humani happen to believe that. Analyze the arguments for yourself and see if you agree with my claim that Luna’s Banned Now doesn’t realize that there are two sides to every story. So when he asserts that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine, he should also consider that I’m by no means the first person to expose him as a pea-brained, brain-damaged no-goodnik. However, it’s still somewhat rare for anyone to state publicly that my objection to Luna’s Banned Now is not that he tries to make us think as he does but that he tries to make us do as he thinks.

Woe betide you if you challenge Luna’s Banned Now’s directionless claim that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. Apparently, that belief is sacred dogma to Luna’s Banned Now’s menials; to question it is sacrilege. You’ll be shouted down forever after, even if you’re merely attempting to state something innocuous such as that I once tried to explain to Luna’s Banned Now that his perceptions will take rights away from individuals whom only Luna’s Banned Now perceives as quixotic. Rather than feel ashamed of himself, Luna’s Banned Now got angry at me. What this says is that Luna’s Banned Now’s underlings hate when I rub their noses in the truth. They hate when I provide evidence that some deep void within Luna’s Banned Now makes it necessary for him to cause one-sided obloquies to be entered into historical fact. They hate when I write that some of his goons have privately reassured me that Luna’s Banned Now isn’t as impertinent as he sounds. Rather, they allege, Luna’s Banned Now is just playing the cards that he thinks he needs to. I don’t buy that excuse. Luna’s Banned Now may have started as non-impertinent, but he’s now absolutely invested in denying minorities a cultural voice. Consider, for example, how this is a free country, and I, speaking as someone who is not an inveterate, anal-retentive Luddite, profess we ought to keep it that way.

Luna’s Banned Now avers that the reason he wants me to die an agonizing death, be given no burial place, and have my soul chased by demons in Gehenna from one room to another for all eternity and more is not out of hatred for me but merely because he’s disappointed that I’m not living up to my own ideals. That’s indeed a lie of biblical proportions. The truth is that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Luna’s Banned Now stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that I live in fear of duplicitous, hate-filled incubi laying down diktats that force me to jump in the lake. Even Luna’s Banned Now graciously admitted that such people are somewhat inconsiderate. He stopped short, however, of acknowledging that he is stepping over the line when he attempts to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem—way over the line. I would like to close by saying that Luna’s Banned Now frequently writes self-contradictory, nonsensical sentences that are actually just phrases or sentence fragments filled with grammatical, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation errors.
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