Tournament Ubers Premier League V - Finals (Won by Defiant Durians)

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Idk if this is the saddest and most ridiculous attempt at belittling a team's accomplishments that I've ever seen, but it's gotta be close. I guess we're just gonna completely ignore the fact that the Durians were 0-2 down week 1 and haxed Outrage to grab the series. Or that Lacus had some terrible luck after the game from which you've posted replays and ended up losing g2 because of two back to back parahaxes (which were the only way she'd lose). Or how the toxic miss from my game was completely irrelevant as you got the toxic 4 turns later and still couldn't change shit or how the blades miss only gave me a kill on ray which was being walled shitless by Celesteela, anyway. Then you post other shit like dual rachi flinches which are not rare or unheard of at all. Or a fire blast miss or dpulse flinch as if that's the first time it has ever happened. It's come down to a point where any RNG at all, no matter how irrelevant or likely to happen it is, is suddenly treated as a hate crime committed by the player, who has no control over it. But ofc everyone decides to blow you off anyway because they like visiting the pages of tours they are no longer a part of and post predictions that nobody cares about and hating the Kyurems has become 'the cool thing to do'. It's just sad that a team that has been performing well needs to stoop down to such juvenile behaviour to get a few cheap likes. Ik this wont go down well with the Ubers community, but I'll say it anyway, most of y'all need to grow the fuck up.

I said 'most'. I'm not generalising now.

I think you're wrong about a lot of things in this post and are digressing from the subject, which I'd like to point out:

1) In week 1, Melle and hyw both clearly had RNG in their favor, and we had it in Californium's favor (2>1).
2) It is completely unreasonable for you to deny the fortune you've received in this tournament. Although your team has performed well, you all have had many luck breaks, and also got into finals because of the performance of another team, not based on your absolute credibility.
3) More than the Toxic miss, flinches and other hax, I think in general the community is exasperated by your team's constant attempt to act as if you're never lucky. Even when blatant luck happens on your end, comments like this are spouted "1337 Legend ワタル: I'm glad that happened".
3) This sort of mannerism, along with your constant spam of the same comment in every single post your team makes, isn't going to come off as heroic to the rest of the community. It's of course going to sting a lot of players, which consequences in your team being the antagonist in all of this.

I'm in no way trying to call you / Lance out, because I'm in good terms with you both, however I think it's important for me to put the facts across and explain why you're the "victim" in all of this. Also, in my honest opinion, there is no reason for you to defend yourself / your team, since regardless of what people say, you are 4-0 and your team is in the finals. Your games are doing the talking for you, no need to use a mic.

edit: might as well reply to this too
The gif is of a dragons clawed foot crushing a bush of plants

Also ur the one on the streak we stumbled and tumbled to our way here


Idk, what is u implyin there ma nigga
If Lance wins this UPL, it'll be his third UPL win in a row, genius.
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It appears that the vast majority of people in the Pokémon community view the art of Pokémon battling in a manner vastly different from the way I personally view it, so let me explain some of my own philosophies pertaining to this game, in order to allow others to better understand some of the comments I've been making throughout this Ubers Premier League:

More than a decade ago, a certain man once said that "Pokémon is a gambling game." This does not imply that it is a game completely devoid of skill. Rather, it is similar to poker - a game in which a large part of the skills involved take the form of probability management. It is a game in which the better player does not always win, or even win a significantly higher number of times. Furthermore, that which people call "hax" is not even the only form of luck in Pokémon in my eyes. Team matchups (which can be managed to an extent in tournament play, but even then, trying to predict what team your opponent will bring is still an educated guess at best) and arguably even some 50/50s can also be called such. This is the very reason why I have said many, many times throughout the years that true skill in Pokémon cannot be measured by a trainer's performance in one or a few battles, even against the most formidable of opponents. Rather, it can only be demonstrated by one's results over countless battles against innumerable different trainers and teams. If you were to look at all the Pokémon battles to have ever been fought in the entirety of history, you would realize that the vast majority of such battles are not fair, not only because of how incredibly often "hax" occurs in this game, but also because there is almost no Pokémon battle in which the team matchups are completely fair, outside of mirror matches of course. And since luck is such an inextricable part of Pokémon battling, it does not make sense to my eyes to call out specific luck-based aspects and occurrences in Pokémon, while ignoring the fact that the skills involved in this entire game are largely about probability management.

Sometime at the dawn of Pokémon Sun and Moon, I had a battle against my team member DontStealMyPenguin in a different metagame, in which he literally fought a losing battles for more than two hundred turns instead of forfeiting. What was he aiming for? A chance to perform a last-Pokémon Calm Mind Arceus-Steel sweep against me... after scoring two consecutive critical hits on my Perish Song Arceus-Normal with said Arceus-Steel's Judgment. In the second week of this Ubers Premier League, Kebabe battled PROBLEMS. In the first battle of their set, Kebabe realized at the end of turn 22 that his only hope of winning was by literally flinching Problems's entire remaining team to death with Genesect's Iron Head, so rather than forfeiting, he tried to do exactly that. And in Bossness's third battle against Kebabe in the finals of this Ubers Premier League, he eventually realized that his only hope of winning was by attaining an AncientPower boost with Dialga, so he tried to do exactly that.

Even though all of the above efforts ended in failure... in my eyes, they are some of the most beautiful, admirable and awe-inspiring moments that can be beheld in any Pokémon battle. I personally believe that the true spirit of a Pokémon trainer is revealed not when they are fighting a winning battle or a battle fought on even grounds... but rather, when they realize that the odds are greatly against them, and yet in spite of that, they would choose to continue battling, for thousands of turns if need be, just for a tiny chance of winning with hax, god-like predictions or other similar miraculous occurrences. This is the very reason why I have banned the act of forfeiting within The Burning Red White Kyurems - not only does forfeiting effectively reduce any chance of winning, regardless of how small it may be to zero, but it also deeply damages the morale of oneself and one's own teammates.

As such, it follows that when I hax my opponents, I'd take advantage of said luck, instead of apologizing for it. And I expect all of my opponents to do the same to me. I never give my opponents a free turn after I hax them, and dislike it when they do the same to me. Being lucky should be what you want - because even if you do not hax your opponent, there is no guarantee that the battle would have been fair anyway. Individual Pokémon battles were never supposed to be fair, and no one has the duty to try to make them fair. The fairness in Pokémon battling comes from the fact that over countless battles, the better trainers get better win-loss records than the less skilled ones. And this is also why I personally believe that hax-resilience is such an important defining quality in an excellent Pokémon team, both in the sense of a team being difficult to hax in the first place due to it relying on few or no inaccurate moves, as well as the team being able to win even after suffering from a lot of hax. I do not disregard the value of any victories attained or defeats suffered as a result of hax. Rather, I take all of them completely into account when measuring the quality of a Pokémon team or the skill of a trainer. And as an aside, from an overall point of view, the fact that I disallow all my players from using teams that are not hax-resilient may be one of the reasons why it appears that we hax our opponents more than we get haxed in return, unlike those who would choose to rely on Focus Blast since they "can blame hax if they lose as a result of it missing anyway."

Gunner Rohan, for the sake of allowing us to have a good and satisfying tie-breaker... I would like to take this as an opportunity to request that, if only for the tie-breaker of this Ubers Premier League... you yourself also implement a "no forfeiting" rule for the players on your Ubers Premier League team. Since the tie-breaker decides the entire outcome of this Ubers Premier League... let us allow the Pokémon trainers under our commands to give it their all in their battles against each other - taking any chances necessary to win, no matter how small they may be. And even if they were to lose, allow them to do so gloriously... and only after having given it their all, rather than forfeiting prematurely.

Now, then... without speaking any more words... let us clash in an enjoyable tie-breaker. HunterStorm, Lacus Clyne, Melle2402... GLORY BE TO OUR IMMINENT VICTORY!

When someone tries to roast you over a (soon to be right) prediction

Gratz on the win Durians, you guys performed extremely well and deserve the W (gunner still sux tho).

Worst Durian ever revealed?

SparksBlade-today at 21:13
wait are
stinky fruits?

A new couple emerges?

☆Pohjis: gunner we finally
☆Pohjis: together
☆Pohjis: i am so happy

Gonner-today at 21:54

It's been fun all, hope to see you all next year (if I'm still around).
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Congratulations my boys, you are all truly GOATS. I'm extremely shocked that my bad fortune didn't carry forward from SPL, but I'm relieved that we could close this one out like we did. Every single one of you is extremely talented and you've all proved it through your performances this tournament - you'll all be going out now as top tier players and I wish you can keep that standard up. I was blessed enough to have got you all in auction, because I wouldn't have wanted anyone else. Our personalities merged so well and our team spirit was top notch the entire season, which I guess led to our inevitable victory. Congratulations once again, let it sink in that this Defiant Durians team is the strongest in UPL history, and we truly deserve this feat. (I guess it was worth starting tryouts in November, wasn't it?)

A special shoutouts to Kyurems and Lance for giving us a really tough fight till the end - I wasn't expecting anything different. I also want to clear the air a bit about the general perception about Kyurems as a team. Indeed, they did use a lot of stall and other unorthodox playstyles throughout the season, and yes they did spam the same phrase every single week (was kinda irksome though ngl), but that does not by any means discredit their performance in this tour and how far they made it. Props to HunterStorm, Lacus Clyne, hyw, Melle etc. for playing really well, congratulations on your respective seasons. I'm glad Lance and I could sort our differences out in the end, my pleasure Kyurems, ggs.

P.S.- It's just sad that at one end there's the Kyurems with almost all players sharing similar personalities, and then there's Lord Outrage... You have an incurable disease, just get yourself checked out before you lose any other bit of sanity you may possess. Even your manager couldn't put up with you, my condolences to your teammates who had to endure your nonsense week in and week out. It was a complete displeasure tolerating your shenanigans again this season, and honestly I'm waiting in anticipation for when you're gonna blow up next, because it's going to be immensely satisfying.

Pohjis: I trusted you the most from the beginning, and this is solely the reason why. Once again you came in clutch when we needed you the most, showing up in finals week and tiebreak both, getting the job done as always. I don't think anyone's ever going to reach your Ubers level. Get this major tour win though, it's about time you stopped playing weekend tours. Thanks again for your loyalty and effort this season, I commend all the time you put into making sure others were prepared, but not yourself. Always appreciate it buddy.

obii You constantly helped boost the team morale and it was a lot of fun teaming with you again for two major tournaments in a row. Thoroughly enjoyed the memes and GOAT channel spams etc., hope we get more chances to team again in the future bro. Once again respect for your win vs DSMP, played it to perfection and came through when we needed you the most. Get this snake draft buy my man.

zf thanks for the free win every week my guy, I miss our calls gotta wait till late August. #29k #wortheverypenny #advsuperstaya #lcplayer

M Dragon thanks for the free win every week my guy, and especially the wins in finals. It was so comforting having a clutch player every week, your experience and insight on the game speak volumes. I managed to learn a lot myself, so thank you for that.

Kebabe thanks for the free win every week my guy, I kinda wish we interacted more but letting you do your own thing was more beneficial in the end. Congratulations on your record in a stacked pool like that: enter BW hall of fame.

Californium I'm so proud of how much you've grown this season as a player and person, kudos to you on that. You've almost let go of all your mentality issues, and it feels like I'm watching a completely different player play. Great performance this season, played some strong players, yet got some equally strong wins. I hope to see you keep excelling just like this, good luck!

Reje Solid record in the end, I had a lot of confidence in you going into the season and that stayed till the end. You played all of your games extremely well, just a few misplays here and there which happens to the best of us. It wasn't fun enduring the abuse from you every week though:(
Hope to see you play some more top tier games my dude, never know what to expect when you're playing.

Exiline I was nervous entering into UPL about how our SM slots would do given the unpredictability of this tier, but you completely surpassed all the initial expectations I had from you. You're a really solid player, and I'm sure you'll be competing against the top players soon enough. I'm looking forward to watching that, good luck my friend and thanks for being so reliable every week.

slurmz Apart from the fact that you're the worst kind of homofaggot on the planet, it was nice having someone I could bully on the team. No hard feelings though, hope you had an enjoyable season, good luck with everything. shove UPL up your ass.

soviet I regret that you couldn’t get a chance to play, although your presence in the team was always enjoyable. Some of the advice you provided was substantial as well. Stick around bro.

Krauersaut wish you were more active, must be nice to be carried. glgl with everything.

Aberforth wish you were more active, must be nice to be carried. glgl with everything.

SparksBlade saving you for last because you are one of the hidden gems of Defiant Durians. Your effort into assisting every single player every week was phenomenal; I'm sure every Durians player agrees with me when we say we're indebted to your dedication throughout the season. I mentioned to you earlier in finals that in case there was an activity problem from our end, I would sub you in, and that was because you showed me how capable you are over the weeks. Hopefully you'll compete more, you have immense potential to conquer Ubers if you put your heart into it. Thanks for taking off a lot of pressure from me man, I sincerely appreciate it.

benbe ShadowQuinn byronthewellwell Hack thanks for your guys' support over the weeks, helped out with a lot of games ^_^

Fireburn worst host of all time you're dicks bro just retire so I can become TL.

Every other UPL team: thanks for the tough battles over the weeks, was an honor.

This was really fun - Pohjis continue the legacy next year. Until next time...

e: because Lance messaged me this, tribute to you sir.

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Lacus Ichinose

Eau De Toilette™
is a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a defending Smogon Snake Draft Champion
Lost in 3 against Pohjis. Unfortunate freeze but w/e. 5-2 is still a good record I guess.
Congrats to the Lolcopter Lunalas! Winning every week except finals is amazing! ^^
Shoutouts (I'm not good with this kind of stuff)
Ice Tea Told me to join this tour and we didn't even end up in the same team... You smelly fish!

Transcendent God Champion Apart from week 1 you really did a good job. Much respect.
Lord Outrage Thanks for coming back. You surely returned the hax favour in later weeks. ^^
Thimo Cool guy and really skilled builder.
DontStealMyPenguin Not gonna lie I doubted you but you showed me that you are quite good.
Alex Walls You really saved us in DPP. :]
hyw Brother from another mother. Hope you get well soon!
Melle2402 No clue about ADV but thanks for the support. Hope you keep up the good work.
Klefkwi Have some more confidence. You are solid.
SvetaGS3 Hope you received a lot of experience from this tour.
Bossness Sadly the rust didn't make things go in your favour :x
Sheetanshu Thanks for the support!
HunterStorm 4-1 is a decent record. Reminds me of my old one. :]
James Jimmy Always been there to rate my squads. Thanks!
Shitegotreal I can't say that enough. Thanks for the support.

The Ubers community surely is a pile of aids but thats the reason why we like it haha <3

I didn't have the chance to thank my SPL team so might as well do that now. Thanks soulgazer for buying and believing in me.
Won't tag everyone but its been a pleasure.
I am confirming that I beat Lacus Clyne in three games. Thank you for the games and well done for your performance in game two.

Game 1:
Game 2:
Game 3:

☆Pohjis: gunner we finally
☆Pohjis: fucking did it
☆Pohjis: we won a team tournament
☆Pohjis: together
☆Pohjis: on the same team
☆Pohjis: i am so happy

Thank you Defiant Durians for the incredibly enjoyable seven weeks and best of luck to all of you in future endeavours. You were all amazing and I will never forget the memories that we shared together during this tournament. I love you all. :)
It's over. But it’s an odd feeling. I'm not angry that I lost. In fact, I feel happy. Happy that I witnessed the rise of a great new Champion! No jk fuck this motherfucking bs hax durians are bad and suck.
At first about the Durians. Gratz to Gunner Rohan and his team. In the past 7 weeks his teams worst score was a 4-4. They kinda dominated this years UPL and deserve the title for sure.
It was my first UPL and I'm not that happy with my performance. Sorry Lance for not showing my best in every single week, I had a really important loss in this final and now we are only runner ups. I wanna thank you for giving me this chance and trusting me every single week. I really enjoyed this time.
Now to the rest of the Kyurems:
hyw ily man. You're such a cool guy and a great player. But be more active in Chat smh
Thimo i was surprised when Lance drafted you but you did really well and I will never forget the Magix Coat Grassceus
Alex Walls thank you man. It was so important to have you on the team. You helped everyone. I really enjoyed the time with you and hope we see us in further tournaments!<3
HunterStorm from time to time you got more haters. That shows your success in this UPL. Im glad to have you in this team. Youre a great player and I wish you the best for the future
Bossness sadly your record doesnt show how good you are. Youre a bit rusty but a great player. You were the only one who had a chance against Kebabe, I think this shows how good you actually are. Hope you are more active in the future.
SvetaGS3 Sheetanshu pretty inactive, cant say much about you guys :c
Lacus Clyne ich halte echt eine Menge von dir und war echt froh, dass du bei ums im Team warst. Du warst einer der Gründe warum wir es überhaupt erst so weit gebracht haben.
Lord Outrage you never change, and thats good! Im glad you came back after you retired during midseason. Since po days youre a good friend and helped me a lot. Gl in wcop you salty slut.
DontStealMyPenguin thanks for everything man
SGR thanks for the support and the help! You were great
James Jimmy you lazy greek. Im so glad that you helped us during the whole upl. Without you we wouldnt reach finals, im sure.
Special s/o to soviet and Reje . It was always fun to complain and insult each other in the chat. Without moments like this pokemon wouldnt be that funny. Dont take everything so serious :p
And now for one last time...


Most hated player of the most hated team out
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