Walrus WAL Я US (category 1 reveal Friday at 11 PM GMT (6 PM EST)

Martin

A monoid in the category of endofunctors
is a Smogon Discord Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
[9:29 AM] my bihh luhh do cocaine: also Walrein can martin start signups today?
[9:36 AM] Walrein: yes

Hello everyone and welcome to my second walrus! In case you’re a new face around these parts, a walrus is a competition where I set a number of themes and people send in songs to match those themes; I then give a heavily biased rating to that submission, with that bias being based on my own taste, which is wholly and objectively superior to yours (obviously). In other words, it’s just a fun and reasonably inoffensive way for me to be an elitist arsehole, so enjoy it! I promise you’re not a bad person for liking bad music–especially because superior does not mean good taste! And in case you’re getting a little tired of all this music without any visual feedback, I’ve also got two video categories for you to feast your eyes on!

The results of each category will be revealed live on Discord and posted in the thread as I reveal. While you can try following in the thread, trust me when I say that it’s more fun to listen with everyone else over Discord, so make sure you’ve join the server that I’ve linked below so that you don’t miss out!

https://discord.gg/MXDyAnu

Scoring
The basics:

I will be taking a different approach to scoring in this walrus with the intent of minimising upward skew without risking having a inflation at the extremes of score. This time, I will be using the score definitions that My Anime List uses. This means that the numbers mean the following things:
10 = Masterpiece
9 = Great
8 = Very Good
7 = Good
6 = Fine
5 = Average
4 = Bad
3 = Very Bad
2 = Horrible
1 = Appalling
The Nuances:
  • Songs will then be ordered within their rating from best to worst, each separated by 0.1. This means that if there are 4 songs which score a 6, the scores will be 6.0, 6.1, 6.2, and 6.3, excluding the possibility for ties. This is to prevent score creep and to reduce the arbitrariness of decimal points.
    • The exception to this rule is in the case of meme submissions which, if I deem them worthy, will be scored at 6.9.
  • If a song fails to meet the requirements of an objective category, it will receive a score of 0 irrespective of how it would have scored otherwise.
  • Songs will not score less than 1 unless they are a category fail.
  • If a song scores a perfect 10, that does not mean that the song is perfect. The score is an amalgamation of a number of factors, and how a song resonates with me personally (whether that be nostaliga, resonation with me in general, based on my mood when judging, or any number of other possible reasons for it resonating well with me) plays a large part in how I score.
  • While the new system is in place to reduce upward skewing to an extent, my rating style is still going to be reasonably lenient. The personal side of my rating is likely to push some scores upward, especially in the middle range where songs are kinda bad but still enjoyable to listen to.
When submitting:
I will only accept submissions through Smogon PM. To make my life easier, please use the following format+BBCode when linking songs:
Code:
Category #: [URL=YT or Soundcloud URL]Artist/Group Name - Song Name[/URL]
Also, do not submit over multiple posts in the PM. If you want to change anything or send some submissions in later than others, edit the original post of the PM and reply to the conversation saying what category/categories you have just submitted to or changed your submission for.

The number of examples isn’t fixed from category to category; I’m just put as many as I can be fucked to put. Sometimes that’s gonna be a lot, other times it might just be 2 songs.

If a song/video is listed as an example for a category, you are not allowed to submit it for that category. HOWEVER, submitting that song to any other category is fair game—after all, I have merely listed them as examples and, as such, there is no guarantee that they will score anything better than middling. Listing as an example does not impact the rating I will give it if you submit to another category, and I will not be pander-capping any submissions.
Category 1: The next best thing
I love when songs use instruments which you wouldn’t traditionally consider in their lineup to mix up the sound. Whether this is bin-lids, ticking clocks, dripping water, car alarms, thunder (even from a thunder sheet) or whatever else, it can lead to an incredibly interesting sound and I like it a lot. Therefore, to open this walrus, send me a song which features at least one sound that’s created or sampled from something which is not a musical instrument or a vocal line. When submitting, tell me the sounds which are used. Tell me one or more of the sounds featured in your submission PM, and I will listen out for them when judging. Also it’s generally better to check the audio-only version before submitting, as sometimes sounds in the music video are not in the original song.

Examples:
AVTechNo! - ROOM (wind, fire, dripping water, clock tower bells, police alarm, alarm clock, digital alarm clock, birdsong)
Moby - Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad (train)
Hitoshizuku×Yama△ - EveR ∞ LastinG ∞ NighT (footsteps (various), door slam, conversation/laughter, wine being poured, wine glasses clinking, shoving sound, screaming, curtain raise buzzer, creaking doors (various), extending piston, clock bells, clock pendulum click, paper rip, ticking clock, coffin lid creaking, stabbing sound — every single one of these is on the album version: they aren’t just on the MV)


Category 2: Hotelling
I’m trying something a little different for this category. The rules of this category are simple: I’m going to give you a song that scores a 6/10, and your job is to send me a song which sounds very similar to that song in question as if you were competing with it as well as the other submissions. The idea here is inspired by Hotelling’s law, which states that in order to maximise profit two identical or similar should position themselves next to each other on the high street. Don’t worry: the song shouldn’t be hard to find similar songs for!

The song:
Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water


Category 3: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A percussionist, of course! This next category celebrates what is probably the most modern bands. For this category, I want something which either is/has a drum feature or which is otherwise very impressive from a percussion standpoint. By the latter, I mean that I want something which is layered and complex (or otherwise immensely impressive) just in its percussion lines; I doubt that I need to explain the former. Please state, in one sentence, why the song qualifies for this category in your submission PM.

Examples:
Kikuo - Chiri Chiri Juso (impressive percussion line)
Led Zeppelin - Moby Dick (is a drum feature)
The Ventures - Wipe Out (is a drum feature)
The Dave Brubeck Quartet - Take Five (features a drum solo)


Category 4: Topping and tailing [Video]
One of the best parts of watching a TV show, movie or anime for me is watching its opening and ending sequences. It’s a big part of the experience, and I have been known to watch things entirely because of their OPs/EDs before. As such, I want you to send me the opening or ending sequence of a movie, TV show, anime, or video game, and I will rate it based on a number of factors including, but not limited to, its direction, storyboarding, incorporation of credits, visual appeal, choreography and choice of music, and the criteria for each one will obviously vary from OP/ED to OP/ED due to differing purpose. Send me a YouTube link; other video software does not work with plug.dj.

Examples (deliberately lots):
Movie: [OP] The Pink Panther (1963) | [OP] James Bond: Quantum of Solace (2008)
TV: [OP] FEUD: Bette and Joan (2017)
Anime: [ED] ERASED (2016) | [ED] FLIP FLAPPERS (2016) | [OP] Selector Spread WIXOSS (2014) | [ED] The Tatami Galaxy (2010) | [OP] Welcome to the NHK (2006)
Game: [OP] Super Smash Bros. Melee (2001) | [OP] Fire Emblem: Awakening (2012) | [OP] Mario and Sonic at Vancouver 2010 (2009) / London 2012 (2011)


Category 5: Music Factory
I really like mechanical-sounding music. It is so interesting to listen to, and I love it as such. Send me something that you think sounds mechanical.

Examples:
Genesis - Mama
Kraftwerk - The Robots | It's More Fun to Compute | Home Computer
Junji Ishiwatari & Yoshinori Sunahara + Etsuko Yakushimaru - Kamisama no Iu Toori


Category 6: Packaged Fruit
One of the most important advancements in modern music came with the introduction of sampling. Whether this means taking another person’s song or using apple loops or something similar in your music, sampling is not only good for saving time when recording music, but it can also be effective due to the way it can impact the sound in certain cases. For this category, all I want is for you to send me a song which samples from another and to tell me what song it samples from.

Examples:
Kanye West - Stronger (samples from Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger)
The Sugar Hill Gang - Rapper’s Delight (samples from Chic - Good Times)
Eminem - Stan (samples from Dido - Thank You)


Category 7: A second percussion category?!
Unlike the last one, I am going to look at percussion from a different angle: the only requirement of this category is that the song features a drum machine. A drum machine can bring a uniquely appealing sound to music, and if used correctly it can sound fucking fantastic. However, if used incorrectly it can also make a song sound lazily, the effects of which vary from making me switch off to making the song actively piss me off—so tread carefully with this one.

Examples:
Hachi / Kenshi Yonezu [Self-Cover] - Sand Planet
Eminem - Cleaning Out My Closet
Reol - Asymmetry
Bjork - Hunter


Category 8: Bringing it all together [Video]
I like watching music videos; it’s a great way to improve the level of depth attached to your song in a way that doesn’t feel artificial or forced. It can also be a great way of showing off the intent by a song while also solidifying it further as a work of art. This category will be all about music videos. In addition to how well they add to the experience of simply listening to the song (I will listen to the song once or twice before judging the music video so that I can compare the two experiences), I will be looking at direction, visual appeal, how well it matches the song it’s paired with, choreography, and any number of other factors that may or may not include those listed, dependent on the song/MV in question. Once again, YT links only please. Of course, the song had better be pretty good too, or else it might impact my rating.

Examples (deliberately lots):
a-ha - Take On Me | Eminem - The Real Slim Shady | Britney Spears - Toxic
Junkie XL, Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation (Elvis vs JXL) | Scatman John - Scatman (ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop)
One-T + Cool-T - The Magic Key | Hachi - Donut Hole | Kenshi Yonezu - Mad Head Love
Sayuri - Birthday Song | World Order - Singularity | Kikuo - Love Me Love Me Love Me
WEAVER - Kuchizuke Diamond | Amatsuki - Little Love Song | Megumi Hayashibara - Usurai Shinjuu


Category 9: Not your standard covers category
Normally when we look at cover categories, we look at the covers that people have made of existing songs. This time around, we’re going to be flipping it on its head! Send me the original version of a song which has had a commercially-released cover version. If possible try to link the cover in brackets next to your submission, but if it’s an album-exclusive and hasn’t been re-uploaded by anyone onto YT or SC, feel free to just say the name of the album that the cover can be found on and the artist who covered it, and I’ll be able to cross-check it. This can be a song that was covered by a different group or it can be that the original songwriter self-covered a song that he/she wrote for a different band/singer.

Hachi - Donut Hole (self-covered by Kenshi Yonezu on the album Yankee)
King Harvest - Dancing in the Moonlight (covered by High Broom, Wolfe, and Toploader)
Andy and Joey - You’re Wondering Now (covered by The Specials)


Category 10: I am the gamer boy
As many of you are aware (and as many of you are never going to let me forget), I used to be called gamer boy. Might as well hammer this one into the ground! I want to hear songs which feature chiptune. If you can’t think of anything I’ll allow you to send in game OSTs, but ideally I’d prefer music that was released as music rather than as part of a video game.

Soft Ghosts - Ten Different Kinds of Dragonflies
The Postal Service - Brand New Colony
REOL - Konoyo Loading…
Cast of ‘Gamers!’ - GAMERS!


Category 11: Getting with the times
^This is something I really should get around to doing. However, my stubbornness in early secondary school meant that I have never really been in the loop wrt music, and if you don’t get into the habit of following new releases early you aren’t going to ever end up following it. I only have one requirement in this category: seeing how 2018 has just started, I want you to send me an English song which has been released in the past decade—this means 2008 or later. Tell me the year the song was released in your submission PM.

Maroon 5 - Moves Like Jagger (2010)
Daft Punk - Get Lucky (2013)
Pharrell Williams - Happy (2013)
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance (2008)
Pierce the Veil - Hell Above (with album lead-in) | King for a Day | Bulls in the Bronx (2012)


Category 12: Bittersweet
I have a minor case of depression that is mainly caused by me shutting myself in my house all day every day, and when I’m feeling down there are three things which help me relieve the pain, if only a little: chicken and vegetable soup, lo-fi hip hop radios on YouTube, and soothing/melancholy or bittersweet music. As shown by this category’s title, I want you to focus on the last of those things. Send me a piece of music which is either bittersweet or melancholy+soothing to listen to. This can be instrumental or vocal, it doesn’t matter much either way. I want to either feel soothed or come out sobbing onto my palms. I’m going to judge this category entirely while feeling down, so you’d better make me feel better each time!

Bittersweet lyrics: Dido - Thank You
Bittersweet instrumental: Hiromi Uehara - Place to Be
Melancholy and soothing: Ryuichi Sakamoto - Solitude (from Tony Takitani)


Category 13: Encore
To close out this walrus, I invite you all to indulge yourself in the category you liked the most one more time (excluding video categories). In addition to the ten music categories from this walrus, I am bringing two back from my previous walrus that you are also allowed to submit for if you so wish:
Category 6: Paint Me a Picture - Submit a piece of music which aims to paint a picture in the listener's mind. This can be through the use of word painting, or by trying to recreate the sounds of a place with instruments, or by just creating an atmosphere that transports its listener to the place it is talking about. I'm going to be pretty lenient with regards to how this can be interpreted due to how subjective a statement that is, but if I don't think that you have tried hard enough with you will be recieving a delicious, nutritious category fail.

Jim Parker - Grand Central (from A Londoner in New York)
Modest Mussorgsky - The Old Castle (from Pictures at an Exhibition)
Category 9: Character Themes - Submit a piece of music from the OST of a movie, TV show, anime, or video game which is assigned as the theme song of an individual character.

Examples:
Decretum (Theme of Sayaka Miki from Madoka Magica)
Dark Pit’s Theme (from Kid Icarus Uprising)
Make sure you tell me which category you are submitting for in the submission PM!
No notes about how to sub to me well; I want to hear your music: not mine. I am open to anything and everything, so don’t be afraid to send in a risky sub or two! Contrary to what I might act like during others’ reveals, I’m really not that picky about things like the genre a song is in; I am very happy to listen to most things.

Signups:
Bolded users have submitted (full or partial)
Aladyyn
Exploudit
Earlio
Robert Alfons
RODAN

Granny Pie
KnightsofCydonia
Bughouse
Steven Snype
Myzozoa

Blazade
MyNameIsNothing
LucarioOfLegends
S0L1D G0LD
P2X7
Lectrys
SirCrimsonFox
Da Letter El
eren
Mikaav
Wolv
Walrein


Signups will close in 2 weeks outside of some extreme circumstance.
 
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Category 1 songs will be locking in when I go to bed on Sunday evening (whether that means normal time or my jet-lagged time). The following users have signed up but haven't sent in their songs, so just a reminder that you have until then to get at least category 1 in. If you send it in after that time, you will be a part of the walrus but will recieve a 2-point penalty for submitting late (explained in more detail below).

Exploudit Earlio Granny Pie Blazade LucarioOfLegends S0L1D G0LD P2X7 SirCrimsonFox

Also just as a general announcement, here are the rules regarding submission to all categories:
  • Songs may be changed at any point before the reveal that precedes their reveal. This means that a "last minute sub change" is the same thing as a "last minute sub change" for most other walruses. The same applies when submitting to a category you haven't submitted to yet.
  • I will put songs which have already been submitted into the spreadsheet when I hit the deadline. If an initial submission is made after the deadline, it will still be rated, but you will recieve a penalty of -2 points for a late submission when the score is entered onto the spreadsheet (so a song that scores a 6.2 will be revealed as a 6.2, but in the standings it will only count for 4.2). Yes, this means that you can score negative points if you latesub and either send in a catfail or a song that scores 1 point.
  • If a submission isn't sent in by its own category's reveal, the player who fails to send in a sub will face a penalty of -3 points. This means that the lowest possible final score in this walrus is -38 points (late penalty+catfail on category 1, no sub for other categories).
  • Retroactive subs count as latesubs and will also recieve the -2 late penalty as opposed to the -3 no-sub penalty, so if you didn't submit to a cat in time you should absolutely make sure you get one in before the cat 13 reveal.
 
I'm going to listen through category 1 subs before the lock-in time (so over the next day or two) to double check that they aren't catfails, and I will give people a heads-up if they risk catfailing beforehand.
 
Hi, I’m extending the category 1 deadline until when I go to bed on Monday ‘cuz I ended up watching Toradora! and the Masters snooker tournament instead of listening over cat 1 subs to make sure their legal. I won’t be extending it again, so if you intend to submit you need category 1 in by then or else you will recieve the late penalty. Tagging people who have signed up but not subbed yet:

Earlio Granny Pie Blazade SirCrimsonFox Mikaav
 
I'm about to shut my desktop down, so CATEGORY 1 DEADLINE. If you haven't submitted yet, you can still submit but will recieve a late penalty.

Unless something comes up, the first reveal will be at 11 PM (6 PM EST) GMT on Friday. Make sure you're in the walrus server if you aren't already!

The category 2 deadline is whenever I go to bed after the end of the category 1 reveal, so make sure to get ur cat 2 sub in by then if you haven't already!
 
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