see title. there are a billion lions, and there is one of every pokemon from bulbasaur to zarude or whateverthefuck is last.
conditions:
- normal battle conditions; none of them are holding items, and abilities only take effect from the very start (ie nothing activates beforehand). pokemon are all at full PP and full HP. lions are all fed and healthy.
- the lions are typeless and use typeless attacks
- all pokemon media is considered in the pokemon side-- games, anime, manga, movies etc
- all the pokemon know they are there to fight the lions. all the lions know they are there to fight the pokemon. infighting should only occur between species of pokemon already known to fight at every possible opportunity (kyogre/groudon, seviper/zangoose, etc)
now, i am on the lion side. for the sake of the argument, (let's say, hypothetically) i am switching to proper grammar to make it easier on the eyes
--
The lions clearly and very easily win. For calculations, there are 900 Pokemon (and still 1,000,000,000 lions). That's slightly more than 1,111,111 lions per Pokemon.
Pokemon under a BST of 350 can be very easily taken out with one lion alone. That's about 300 Pokemon down, and (1,111,110x300) lions remain from the teams of 1,111,111 lions vs 1 Kricketot to go beat up the rest of the legendaries.
On the topic of legendaries, several can be eliminated instantly. Xerneas and Yveltal sleep for 1,000 years (Xerneas's Pokedex entry) so the chance of them being conscious to fight the lions is small. Giratina is presumably still trapped in the Distortion World, and Groudon and Kyogre would be preoccupied fighting each other (and Rayquaza would be preoccupied distracting them) to fight off the lions. Mewtwo and Arceus have come up in the discussion of legendary Pokemon very often, with the arguments that Mewtwo can simply teleport the lions to the sun, and Arceus is literally God. However, these points are countered by the following:
- Mewtwo was beaten by Red in Pokemon Origins, with 5 fainting and Charizard-Mega-X finally getting Mewtwo weak enough to allow Red to catch it. 6 Pokemon were used to get Mewtwo that weak. A million lions can easily surpass the power of 6 fully trained Pokemon.
- Arceus is weak without its plates (Arceus and the Jewel of Life) and as the conditions stated "no items", Arceus is made weaker.
- The lions are atheists.
Moves like Flamethrower and Earthquake have also come up very frequently as "burn the lions and they die" or "multi-target moves will wipe them out". PP is not exclusively a game construct but one in the anime too; only about 200 Pokemon learn Flamethrower, and at max PP this would be 4,800 Flamethrowers; assuming every Flamethrower instantly kills a lion, this is still an incredibly small amount compared to 1,000,000,000 lions. Earthquake and other multi-hit moves can only hit 5 Pokemon at maximum in a Triple Battle, and multi-hit moves are further powered down in non-Single Battle formats. This also takes the complete piss out of the argument that "Flying-types with special moves will never be touched by the lions" as they would run out of PP for those special moves eventually.
Separately, for those 600 Pokemon that are not instantly beaten by a single lion (see the BST 350 piece), let's assume they all have 4 damaging moves, and each move has 15 PP since that's a relatively common number for moves. 600x60=36,000. Even if every single move killed one lion, that's still 999,964,000 lions left, and those 600 are left to Struggle to death.
As the lions are typeless and do typeless damage to the Pokemon, they have no weaknesses. Nothing resists them. They can hit Ghost-types and Steel-types for neutral damage. Wonder Guard does not make a Pokemon immune to typeless damage, so Shedinja surviving all of it through Wonder Guard is not only a shit argument, but completely incorrect.
Alakazam can do math. Alakazam has an IQ of 5,000 (Pokedex entry; millions higher than Pokemon voters). Alakazam is smart. Alakazam can calculate that the Pokemon side has no fucking chance against a billion lions, and telepathically tell the other Psychic-types that they're not going to win this. Assuming all the Psychic-types (about 100) leave because they have decent self-preservation skills, that leaves 900 minus the 300 that instantly die (BST 350) and again minus 100 Psychic-types, leaving 500 Pokemon to fight a billion lions.
Finally, the magnum opus of my argument, the piece which I consider the most important:
It's a billion fucking lions.
conditions:
- normal battle conditions; none of them are holding items, and abilities only take effect from the very start (ie nothing activates beforehand). pokemon are all at full PP and full HP. lions are all fed and healthy.
- the lions are typeless and use typeless attacks
- all pokemon media is considered in the pokemon side-- games, anime, manga, movies etc
- all the pokemon know they are there to fight the lions. all the lions know they are there to fight the pokemon. infighting should only occur between species of pokemon already known to fight at every possible opportunity (kyogre/groudon, seviper/zangoose, etc)
now, i am on the lion side. for the sake of the argument, (let's say, hypothetically) i am switching to proper grammar to make it easier on the eyes
--
The lions clearly and very easily win. For calculations, there are 900 Pokemon (and still 1,000,000,000 lions). That's slightly more than 1,111,111 lions per Pokemon.
Pokemon under a BST of 350 can be very easily taken out with one lion alone. That's about 300 Pokemon down, and (1,111,110x300) lions remain from the teams of 1,111,111 lions vs 1 Kricketot to go beat up the rest of the legendaries.
On the topic of legendaries, several can be eliminated instantly. Xerneas and Yveltal sleep for 1,000 years (Xerneas's Pokedex entry) so the chance of them being conscious to fight the lions is small. Giratina is presumably still trapped in the Distortion World, and Groudon and Kyogre would be preoccupied fighting each other (and Rayquaza would be preoccupied distracting them) to fight off the lions. Mewtwo and Arceus have come up in the discussion of legendary Pokemon very often, with the arguments that Mewtwo can simply teleport the lions to the sun, and Arceus is literally God. However, these points are countered by the following:
- Mewtwo was beaten by Red in Pokemon Origins, with 5 fainting and Charizard-Mega-X finally getting Mewtwo weak enough to allow Red to catch it. 6 Pokemon were used to get Mewtwo that weak. A million lions can easily surpass the power of 6 fully trained Pokemon.
- Arceus is weak without its plates (Arceus and the Jewel of Life) and as the conditions stated "no items", Arceus is made weaker.
- The lions are atheists.
Moves like Flamethrower and Earthquake have also come up very frequently as "burn the lions and they die" or "multi-target moves will wipe them out". PP is not exclusively a game construct but one in the anime too; only about 200 Pokemon learn Flamethrower, and at max PP this would be 4,800 Flamethrowers; assuming every Flamethrower instantly kills a lion, this is still an incredibly small amount compared to 1,000,000,000 lions. Earthquake and other multi-hit moves can only hit 5 Pokemon at maximum in a Triple Battle, and multi-hit moves are further powered down in non-Single Battle formats. This also takes the complete piss out of the argument that "Flying-types with special moves will never be touched by the lions" as they would run out of PP for those special moves eventually.
Separately, for those 600 Pokemon that are not instantly beaten by a single lion (see the BST 350 piece), let's assume they all have 4 damaging moves, and each move has 15 PP since that's a relatively common number for moves. 600x60=36,000. Even if every single move killed one lion, that's still 999,964,000 lions left, and those 600 are left to Struggle to death.
As the lions are typeless and do typeless damage to the Pokemon, they have no weaknesses. Nothing resists them. They can hit Ghost-types and Steel-types for neutral damage. Wonder Guard does not make a Pokemon immune to typeless damage, so Shedinja surviving all of it through Wonder Guard is not only a shit argument, but completely incorrect.
Alakazam can do math. Alakazam has an IQ of 5,000 (Pokedex entry; millions higher than Pokemon voters). Alakazam is smart. Alakazam can calculate that the Pokemon side has no fucking chance against a billion lions, and telepathically tell the other Psychic-types that they're not going to win this. Assuming all the Psychic-types (about 100) leave because they have decent self-preservation skills, that leaves 900 minus the 300 that instantly die (BST 350) and again minus 100 Psychic-types, leaving 500 Pokemon to fight a billion lions.
Finally, the magnum opus of my argument, the piece which I consider the most important:
It's a billion fucking lions.
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