"Worst Pokémon Ever (as of Generation 7)"

Pikachu315111

JAPE Judge!
is a Community Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributor
Dracovish has the extra Woobie factor in that it's in a constantly-suffering state.
More like "proof it shouldn't exist" factor.

It's a fish head attached to a tail, and not even the end of the tail that would make (somewhat) sense! It's not suffocating because it's not in water it's suffocating because there's no windpipe for it to breath! It also would starve to death because there's no throat either! Meanwhile what organs are in the side of the tail that should normally be sealed off should be spilling out! It's such a STUPID design when they could have made actual cool if not just good looking Fossil Pokemon. And yes, I know the reference, the Fossil Wars. Maybe instead of wasting Pokemon slots they could instead have had a museum where we see recognizable fossil Pokemon having their remains mixed around. It would have gotten the laughs they had about learning about the Fossil War out and more importantly gave us better Fossil Pokemon that looked, you know, like prehistoric (or at the very least extinct) animals. Not abominations that not only were able to be revived but didn't immediately die from combining two mismatched fossils together from a lady who wears two different colored shoes!
 
I’m on the Dracovish is beautiful train haha in like a messed up “perpetual anguish is poetic” kind of way. I love his stupid face.

I am also of the opinion that Ferrothorn is one of the single worst designs to ever come out of Pokémon. Nevermind competitive use, it looks like one of those things you stuck on your toilet to make it smell good but like... hostile. It looks like some kind of disappointing kid’s meal toy that would ruin your child’s whole day. I hate it.

While I’m on a bit of a tangent, Mudsdale’s feet look like toilet plungers. Roggenrola’s face is a bootyhole and Alcremie has tiddies in its head.
And resolute Keldeo’s horn looks like an adult toy
 
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Had anyone mentioned Volbeat and Illumise for the "Worst Pokémon Ever"? Regardless, I will take a lightly in-depth analysis on why those two are a pity excuse of Bug-type Pokémon.

Firstly, their design. While paired Pokémon are supposed to be similar to each other, Volbeat and Illumise are way too similar to stand out on their own. And while the inspiration derived from a greaser and a flapper (or housewife, Illumise's design is a bit unclear), respectively, their design did a poor job to make a convincing design and come off as generic.

Secondly, the fact that their "gimmick" is being a pair and as gender opposite. That's the way how Solrock + Lunatone, Plusle + Minun and the rivalry between Zangoose and Seviper did it at the expense of not making them evolve (which Plusle and Minun started the whole Pika-Clone trend, btw), and they don't have gender exclusivity either. The problem is that the Bug-type pair comes off as really forced and failed to pay off, as there's nothing too interesting on them to make them stand out, and like the other pairs, they have no excuses to not evolve since they have no special gimmicks, either.

Thirdly, the fact that they don't help the problem with Bug-type being seen as weak overall despite powerhouses like Scizor, Heracross and Pinsir until around Gen 5. Their stats are nothing to write about despite being fairly rarer than the Wrumple line, and their stats are not all that better than either Beautifly and Dustox. Volbeat have Tail Glow... which boosts it's paltry Sp. Attack, so that move is only useful for Prankster + Baton Pass, and plenty of other Pokémon would do the job better anyways despite those not having Tail Glow.

Those two Bug-types are prime examples of completely wasted potentials, since they got nothing that make them stand apart from the other Gen 3 pairs to the point of complete insensibility. Those are easily the most forgettable Bug-type, possibly even beating the Burmy line, and easily the most forgettable Gen 3 Pokémon overall.
 
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Yung Dramps

awesome gaming
is a Pre-Contributor
Had anyone mentioned Volbeat and Illumise for the "Worst Pokémon Ever"? Regardless, I will take a lightly in-depth analysis on why those two are a pity excuse of Bug-type Pokémon.

Firstly, their design. While paired Pokémon are supposed to be similar to each other, Volbeat and Illumise are way too similar to stand out on their own. And while the inspiration derived from a greaser and a flapper, respectively, their design did a poor job to make a convincing design and come off as generic.

Secondly, the fact that their "gimmick" is being a pair. That's the way how Solrock + Lunatone, Plusle + Minun and the rivalry between Zangoose and Seviper did it at the expense of not making them evolve (which Plusle and Minun started the whole Pika-Clone trend, btw). The problem is that the Bug-type pair comes off as really forced, as there's nothing too interesting on them to make them stand out, and like the other pairs, they have no excuses to not evolve since they have no special gimmicks, either.

Thirdly, the fact that they don't help the problem with Bug-type being seen as weak overall despite powerhouses like Scizor, Heracross and Pinsir until around Gen 5. Their stats are nothing to write about despite being fairly rarer than the Wrumple line, and their stats are not all that better than either Beautifly and Dustox. Volbeat have Tail Glow... which boosts it's paltry Sp. Attack, so that move is only useful for Prankster + Baton Pass, and plenty of other Pokémon would do the job better anyways despite those not having Tail Glow.

Those two Bug-types are prime examples of completely wasted potentials, since they got nothing that make them stand apart from the other Gen 3 pairs to the point of complete insensibility. Those are easily the most forgettable Bug-type, possibly even beating the Burmy line, and easily the most forgettable Gen 3 Pokémon overall.
Here's a fun fact: Volbeat and Illumise are the only non-legendary Gen 3 Pokemon to not be used by any important NPCs across the main series. Yes, you heard that right, Spinda and Luvdisc have been used in major fights but not these guys
 
And while the inspiration derived from a greaser and a flapper, respectively, their design did a poor job to make a convincing design and come off as generic.
What.

I had no clue. That theme is great, could have been done SOOOO much better.

Speaking of excellent design ideas for unremarkable bugs; the day Kricketune gets an evo and turns into an upright bass will be a very happy day for me
 
I actually like the fireflies but it is so obvious that had then been thought of 2, maybe even one generation sooner, they would just be one Pokemon to begin with.
I actually suspect Plusle & Minun would have been similar. Call them something like Poleun or something with a "Positive" and "Negative" forms like red & blue basculin.
 
i nominate binacle

holy shit. i fucking hate binacle



there is NOTHING that stands out about this pokemon. barbaracle honestly gets a pass bc i think its claw hand head thing + multiple limbs look kinda cool and it has the niche as an okayish shellsmasher. but binacle has absolutely nothing going for it. the head is just a square with some claws taped on. its faces are the most annoying thing i've ever seen. and the NECKS? fucking anime girl thigh-highs. it's like gamefreak said "ok, lets take a bunch of qualities no one will like, then put them together"

then we get to the pokedex entries. if this dumb fuck can't cooperate with itself, it just dies. and its stats

HP 42 | Atk 52 | Def 67 | SpA 39 | SpD 56 | Spe 50 | BST 306

absolutely horrendous, they just clicked "generate random number 1-100" and plugged in the first thing they saw. tirtouga does everything it can do, but with the benefit of Decent Moves and actually being decently cute.

and now the metaphorical icing on the proverbial cake: its shiny.



WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
 
getting conflicting messages here

(Ok but yeah Binacle sucks I hate its faces they're weird and ugly)
ok fair. let me rephrase: imagine an anime girl except the legs are attached to the rock, and the head's attached to each leg.

I love Binacle ! The dumber a Pokemon is, The more I love it :)
Look at this face !
View attachment 237595
admittedly i do like how expressive this picture is but ingame it just isn't very.. dynamic. i think i'd like it better if the two faces had 2 different emotions instead of both being ):< all the time. or just if the faces were redesigned entirely
 

Pikachu315111

JAPE Judge!
is a Community Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributor
admittedly i do like how expressive this picture is but ingame it just isn't very.. dynamic. i think i'd like it better if the two faces had 2 different emotions instead of both being ):< all the time. or just if the faces were redesigned entirely
Even when playing with them in Pokemon-Amie/Refresh their faces don't change that much, or at least not to the extent of the anime. Looks like the brown part of their face isn't actually meant to move (which the anime obviously ignored as having them move does let it have more expression):
But I do agree if they did something like having one face bey angry serious and the other look attentive and worried that probably would have added some charm to it.
 
I like Binacle a lot! It's one of those designs that's so silly yet also so fresh and unique that you not only get humour out of it, but it makes the vast range of Pokémon as a whole feel a lot more unique and diverse. You don't just have cool dragons and powerful dogs and some monkeys in there too, you've got bacteria and amoeba and all sorts of weird little creatures. Also, Barbaracle is lowkey sick.

Dracovish is a very dumb design which wouldn't work at all biologically... which is kind of the joke. I don't for a second look at Dracovish and think "yes, the designer clearly thinks this combination would function anatomically". It's quite clearly absurdist humour up front and center, as is every Fossilmon this gen; and I love that Pokémon was for once bold enough to go in that direction. It makes me excited to see more creativity in Pokémon design in the future, that we might see them go for more weirder and wonderful things rather than just that which conceivably makes sense. Both are great!
 

Ryota Mitarai

Shrektimus Prime
is a Smogon Media Contributor
While certainly not the worst, I think Slowpoke (specifically, when aiming to evolve it into Slowbro) deserves at least a mention for being terrible for in-game use (I tried searching for Slowpoke in this thread, search function didn't find anything)

Slowpoke is plagued by two things, which, when combined, result in it being that bad:
  1. Late evolution (level 37)
  2. Terrible stats as Slowpoke
So, as you can see, you have to use the terrible Slowpoke until level 37 if you want to use Slowbro. In some games, like HGSS, 37 is nearing the late and end-game. I have used Slowpoke in USUM and let me tell you, it was just sitting there until I dropped it for a Bruxish. HGSS isn't very kind to it either, because level 37 is pretty much only possible for Clair (though, if you play with like 2-3 mons, you can probs reach it prior Archer too, but I am going off memory). The only games where I have used Slowpoke that are somewhat kind to it are FRLG and that's because Psychic- and Water-types are just very good in there and Slowbro has free Psychic, Surf, and Calm Mind TMs. Not to mention Slowpoke can be grinded against a Hiker on the route after Rock Tunnel that has level 31 Graveler and Onix through Vs. Seeker. So yeah, Slowpoke -> Slowbro is pretty terrible in most games, other than FRLG and deserves a mention here.

As for Slowpoke --> Slowking, I have used it only in HGSS, where it's fine, mostly cause you don't use Slowpoke up to level 37, but you need to backtrack to Slowpoke Well after getting Surf and Strength to take it (I believe Pokeathlon also has it as a price, if you are willing to play there instead). As for USUM, it's very hard to use Slowking, as King's Rock in the main game is only obtained from fishing and the earliest location that has King's Rock in it is Malie Garden...

So yeah, Slowpoke as a whole is rather terrible on a consistent basis and thus deserves a mention here
 

Fusion Flare

Formerly Datsplashtho
Y'know, after that whole binacle spiel, I decided 'hmm let's check out another rock type'

1587247612421.png
YOU. This fucking abominable disappointment who goes by the name of Coalossal, is a pokemon

First and foremost, while it's not dogshit in competitive because half the fire types in RU are broken bastard mons (lookin at you tales and lazzle) it's another one of those mons that fall into those wasted potential mons that woulda been so good if they just kept the concept in. What potential did it waste, did you ask? Let's take a look.
1587247931631.png1587247950688.png
Look at Rolycoly. It's a piece of coal with wheels. Neat, and its got a glowing orange eye. Cool. Next, Carkol. It's not as cool-looking as Rolycoly, but the concept of 'coal + wheels' is still kept. Sadly, no orange eyes, but eh, there's been weirder middle evolutions. Now, a final evolution will surely lead to something cool, like a coal train, or a steam engine, that'd be consistent with the evolutionary family design, Maybe something like these ones! These redesigns would have been perfect with colossal.

https://www.deviantart.com/locomotive111/art/Coalossal-Design-Overhaul-820105344

BUT NOOOOOO, it just had to be a 'big scary kaiju pokemon'!!!!! no consistency with design!!!!!! Ugh, it makes me squirm how much routes this pokemon had the potential to turn onto, but no, it derailed on the wrong track, it reached a dead end, crashed and burned, a potential train motif thrown into the garbage in favor of a big Rhydon/Tyranitar-Esque rock-monster.
The biggest problem is that it's not even an inherently bad design. It's that it would look so much better if they stuck to the right path of train item.
But they didn't. Great job, you coal kaiju cuck. You ruined a design with an uphill consistency that caused it to go downhill.
At least the G-Max form is ok, though.
1587249770139.png
 

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I'm not sure if I've said on this forum before, but while I couldn't agree more with the assertion that Carkoal really should have become a train or something similar; I do at least like Coalossal on its own merits. It's very much a 'gentle giant' archetype similar to Dragonite, and aside from the jolly dragon I can't actually think of many times we get that in Pokémon so I'm very happy with Coalossal filling in that role even if it had to figuratively go off the rails. Gives me a real Rockbiter vibe!
 
I think the only thing wrong with Coalossal is that the actual coals on his head aren’t well incorporated into his design... he’s basically a complete rock monster of the same detail level as all our other rock monsters... and then someone dropped a giant deuce of coal on his head.
 
Can we all agree that Calyrex is the worst looking Pokemon yet?

I am amazed that they somehow able to top Crabominable for being my worst Pokemon. In all honesty, I would try my best to not hate on most of the Pokemon's design too much as long as their proportion looks fine. But what is even the proportion of Calyrex?! Those long legs and short arm with a small body just make Calyrex unpleasant to look at no matter what. And what's it's supposed to be? Is this a poor rabbit that got its ears split to halves? Or a tiny deer that got its arms chopped and its ears extended and split to halves? I have no clue what Calyrex's design even suppose to mean other than expressing tall and mighty. It's especially underwhelming since it's a legendary.

I don't have that much hope for Calyrex in competitive either. For starter, it's a Grass/Psychic-type which is awful for both offensive and defensive purposes. And having Unnerve would be amazing back in Generation 7 Doubles, but that isn't needed much as 50% pinch berries were nerfed to only restore 33% now, what doesn't help matters is Unnerve is its only ability too. All and all, I doubt there's anything that can top the sheer awfulness of Calyrex anytime soon.
 
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Pikachu315111

JAPE Judge!
is a Community Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributor
Can we all agree that Calyrex is the worst looking Pokemon yet?

I am amazed that they are somehow able to top Crabominable for being my worst Pokemon. In all honesty, I would try my best to not hate on most of the Pokemon's design too much as long as their proportion looks fine. But what is even the proportion of Calyrex?! Those long legs and short arm with a small body just make Calyrex unpleasant to look at no matter what. And what's it's supposed to be? Is this a poor rabbit that got its ears split to halves? Or a tiny deer that got its arms chopped and its ears extended and split to halves? I have no clue what Calyrex's design even suppose to mean other than expressing tall and mighty. It's especially underwhelming since it's a legendary.

I don't have that much hope for Calyrex in competitive either. For starter, it's a Grass/Psychic-type which is awful for both offensive and defensive purposes. And having Unnerve would be amazing back in Generation 7 Doubles, but that isn't needed much as 50% pinch berries were nerfed to only restore 33% now, what doesn't help matters is Unnerve is its only ability too. All and all, I doubt there's anything that can top the sheer awfulness of Calyrex anytime soon.
So, you're going to think I'm crazy, but in my typical "if you know better why don't you fix it" way of thinking I decided to give a whack at editing Calyrex to make it look more pleasant... and ended up with 6 designs:
CalyrexFixes.png

1. Shortened the legs to be about the same length as the arms.
2. Changed the face so it was more "rounded": rounder face, rounder nose, rounder (and shorter) eyes.
3. Both short legs and rounder face.
4. Rounder face plus recolored legs to match arms.
5. Both short legs and rounder face plus recolored legs to match arms.
6. Short legs plus recolored legs to match arms.

Of course this is just me sticking to the base model as close as I could. Go to Google images and type in "Calyrex redesign" and you'll get a slew of more professional artists giving their much better interpretation of Calyrex:

 

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