Friend wants to suicide?

[GB_Packers_Ftw]

So about 2 months ago this girl that isnt a great friend of mine (just not close, not that i harte her) told me she wanted to kill her self for the last 4 months. The next day i got her help, showed up at her house and she now goes to therapy and such. Yadda yadda everything was happy right? So it seemed.

July passed, we didnt talk much. She wasnt happy that i told her parents behind her back and such but eventually she turned around and thanked me which was nice. It made me feel pretty good since i went through the trouble of talking to her parents who i never met or knew, and stayed up all night talking her through things. I just wanted to be a good friend and if i could save a life. She is going to therapy and the situation seems to be under control...i think

Lately she has been saying that she feels like shit and stuff, and admittedly i try to ignore it. Now shes telling me things about her friends wanting to kill themselves, its really starting to bother me. Im not sure if she just wants some attention, some love, or if she is serious. So i was wondering if the great community of smogon could help me out, thanks guys :)

EDIT: just as clarification, i am fairly sure she will not kill herself, im just not sure how to manage myself, and thats where some advice could be useful. I really dont know what to say anymore when shes like.."ahh i feel like shit how about you?" I usualy get by with a "that sucks" or "brb gotta take a dump"

 

[Morm]

She wants attention. People who are going to do it are gonna just get 'r done. They don't get together in a group and discuss suicide, which seems to be what these people are up to.

 

[Slice n Dice]

Is she bipolar by any chance?

 

[PyroDudeX]

Real depressed people do it. People that want attention say it. But you really cannot take any chances. :/

 

[tape]

Is she bipolar by any chance?

I was thinking about the same thing, but I decided to keep it for myself, but that may seen the case.

OR she could just be an attention whoar; these are pretty common nowadays.

 

[evolutia]

It sounds like she may be depressed(saying it's her friends who want to consider suicide and it's really herself) and wants attention, from you in particular. I would keep an I on her mental state and perhaps tell her parents (again) of whats happening if the situation seems to get worse. Although talking to her parents immediately may be for the best? Push her over the edge? It's hard to know exactly.

 

[jujuomi]

Seriously, try to make her feel good about herself. Maybe she has self-esteem issues.

 

[TAY]

It does seem like she is just seeking attention. Still, I would say you should probably have a serious talk with her, and tell her that the idea of killing herself isn't something to be throwing around lightly. Even if the chance of her actually acting upon it is really low, I bet you would feel like a fucking moron if you didn't do/say anything and she did end up killing herself.

So basically just have a talk with her to find out where she really stands, and act from there.

Of course, I do not have a complete idea of the circumstances, so feel free to use your own discretion. Don't forget that you know this girl and this situation better than any of us!

 

[animenagai]

if she's being a bitch because you wanted to help, then what can you do eh? it's not your fault that she's an idiot. if you care for her, you've done your part and what she feels/wants to do is ultimately her decision. maybe she was hitting on you by being all tragic and you were just too thick to see it :D.

 

[Brawley]

Compliment her a lot that's all I can say, and it may help her a lot....

 

[gorm]

honestly people who are in the "gonna kill myself" mood and are public about it are almost exclusively in it for the attention. people who are planning on doing it are not vocal about it.

really you have to let them grow out of it because often nothing you say about it does anything but harm if you two are on the subject. it's best to just be there for them while they sort their shit out.

 

[DragonPoke]

Ehm, my best friend tried to commit suicide almost two years ago. I saw pretty much all the signs, but I didn't know back then he would actually do it. He fell in this horrible depression, and after two months he couldn't handle it anymore and well... the rest is history.

Afterwards, I fell in a big depression as well, because I felt guilty and responsible about what had happened... After some therapy, I came to realize that as a friend, I did all I could to help him and that I wasn't the one to blame. We're fine now, btw.

But I kind of understand how you feel. From what you're saying, she's trying to get attention. So what I can advise you, is to listen to her, support her, but don't get emotionally involved. If you feel uncomfortable about what she's saying, then let her know that. And encourage her to keep going to therapy, and furthermore, if she feels it's not helping her, she should seek for other kind of help.

 

[Warthog]

Real depressed people do it. People that want attention say it. But you really cannot take any chances. :/

my father was sorta the mix between this, so I would be careful what advice you give.. like you said you cant take any chances.

Some people say they will kill them selves, never do for years, then bam. You find an ambulance in front of your house because he tried to OD himself with prescription medication.

the only reason he survived was because my brother and cousin got off school early that day and he was unaware.

 

[PyroDudeX]

my father was sorta the mix between this, so I would be careful what advice you give.. like you said you cant take any chances.

Some people say they will kill them selves, never do for years, then bam. You find an ambulance in front of your house because he tried to OD himself with prescription medication.

the only reason he survived was because my brother and cousin got off school early that day and he was unaware.

Yeah you really cant. And I am sorry, how is he now?

 

[akuchi]

She wants attention. People who are going to do it are gonna just get 'r done. They don't get together in a group and discuss suicide, which seems to be what these people are up to.

Absolute bullshit, I've been posting to a suicide newsgroup for years and whilst I've not ever quite managed to get it right several people I knew very well have - and far more I barely spoke to. The 'if they really wanted to do it, they wouldn't talk about it' is one of the most damaging myths about suicide.
I lost four good friends - all who were completely open about how they wanted to kill themselves, and were going to - in the space of six months.

I only quoted the first post I saw about this but honestly, all of you are being kinda ridiculous.
I know suicidals and the mentally ill in general are generally written off as attention whores - and yes, absolutely, there's a lot of attention whores - but yeah.
And if she is asking for attention, so what? Try and give it to her, if you can, for a bit; don't encourage her behaviour, but let her know you're there if she's desperate and wants to chat. I wish someone had done that for me, when I was still attention whoring, before I stopped being miserable and post-traumatic and started being genuinely mentally ill, it would have helped a lot.

I used to bitch a lot about how I wanted to kill myself (and I know I pissed off a lot of people in the process!) but that's because I did [and still do, occasionally] genuinely want to kill myself - but I also wanted someone to help me. I talk about it a lot less now because, unfortunately, it's no big deal; I've got to the stage where sure, if my life fucks up again, I'll top myself, I've got all the drugs ready blah blah.

It shouldn't get like that, imo you should be there for her as much as you can. If she's obviously acting out, then ignore her, but if you think there is a chance that she really means it then just let her know you care, it'll mean a lot and may well stop this before it does escalate into something a lot more serious.

 

[PazzaK]

im not too sure but you say she wasnt really a close friend of yours, and if i was going to top my self, id probably only tell my best friend, or no-one at all. im sorry if i seem cynical, but i think she probably just wanted some attention. maybe she likes you?

 

[The_Duke]

3 things to look out for:
-intentions to kill themselves (suicidal ideations)
-plans on how and where to kill themselves
-gathers materials needed to kill themselves

 

[TAY]

Absolute bullshit, I've been posting to a suicide newsgroup for years and whilst I've not ever quite managed to get it right several people I knew very well have - and far more I barely spoke to. The 'if they really wanted to do it, they wouldn't talk about it' is one of the most damaging myths about suicide.
I lost four good friends - all who were completely open about how they wanted to kill themselves, and were going to - in the space of six months.

Jesus Christ akuchi that's awful. When I was younger one of my close friends tried to kill herself and was actually institutionalized for a short period of time, and that was bad enough. I can't imagine what losing even one close friend would be like, let alone four.

It shouldn't get like that, imo you should be there for her as much as you can. If she's obviously acting out, then ignore her, but if you think there is a chance that she really means it then just let her know you care, it'll mean a lot and may well stop this before it does escalate into something a lot more serious.

I get the impression from the OP that GBPFTW isn't particularly close to this girl at the moment, and that he has no desire to be close to her. If he does put in a lot of effort into their relationship, it could be detrimental (get it?) to her if and when he realizes that he has better things to to than hang around this attention-seeking girl who is annoying but he would feel guilty about leaving because it might upset her enough to kill herself. Of course it would be cool if he could be there for her all the time, but I'm assuming she has other friends who know her better and care for her more, and she can talk to them as well. If GBPFTW is not willing to put the time in with her, or if he's really bad at talking about emotions (my girlfriend would tell you that I'm garbage at it), then he should make it clear that he is not the person to go to in a time of crisis. This is why I suggested earlier that he talk with her and then find out where she stands, and proceed from there. I'm not suggesting he ignore her, but if he's really not up to what could be a very frustrating challenge--she could be like this for years longer--then I don't think he should try to get close to her at all. The damage could be too great in the future.

At any rate, I think an update from GBPFTW is in order here.

 

[GB_Packers_Ftw]

wow, this is awesome. Thanks a ton for all the tips guys. Yeah, well sorry ive been working alot lately, and when i talked to her this morning she didnt say anything suspicious.

Yeah, she is definately depressed, not bipolar. She has a twin sister and they fight alot i know. When i first went to her house and met with her and my neighbor who is a councellor she talked about all the yelling that goes on at her house and such. So then her parents backed off for awhile i geuss and she was pretty happy during june. Just added this as a little background info imo

And now of course like i said, about once every conversation we'll have she'll kind of go out a limb to include the suicide topic in every convo. She'll either say something about her councellor, "friend", or something to that affect. Personally, knowing the person myself i think that this is sort of for attention, she talks to me sometimes about how im the only person she talks to sometimes too.

She doesnt seem overly commited to getting happy either which bothers me. Which in turn makes me think she just wants attention. But then i remember in the back of my mind how she balled her eyes out talking to me and my neighbor in her porch when i went to her house, and it makes my stomach turn =\.

So basicly where am at now is making her feel good. To make this clear, im fairly sure she will not kill herself. Many times have we been through "its not an option" and since june she has not saing anything about killing -herself-. Here's what ive tried off the top of my head, ill list them to make this more readable.

-suicide hotline
-councelling
-saying shes awesome
-doing stuff with her
-randomly being nice
-always talking to her when she wants to

Yeah, so again, im more concerned with makign her feel wanted\loved\etc. Overall im fairly sure this is going to make this situation much better. Certainly in June it was much worse than it is now, she would always tell me im gonna do it now...im gonna do it...etc But anyways thanks a ton guys smogon rocks my sox kkthxbai :)

 

[Okami_Daggarfang]

it does sound like she's starving for attention, so don't let it bother you TOO much; just try to compliment her every once in awhile without makeing her think you're into her. Try to make her laugh and when you talk to her try to keep the conversation off depression; a real depressed person will either not be able to be distracted at all or be compleatly distracted; while a attention-grubber will be more likely to snap in and out of the "life sucks" thing. Also if she seems to make a point of making it apparent that she's depressed, she's probably just in it for attention.

 

[DragonPoke]

She has a twin sister and they fight alot i know.

Weird. My friend also has a twin brother, and they don't fight that much, but when they do, they get serious. It's good to see you're trying to help her :)