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- Thread starter User 43539
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First off, don't try to act cooler than you actually are. This is an easy way to make a ton of friends and get trapped with a ton of friends who talk trash about you behind your back. Make sure you laugh at jokes. That always helps too =). Hope I could help
Sorry, I have to agree with them.
Just be yourself. Try and talk atleast a little bit with someone maybe to get to know each other.
Just be yourself. Try and talk atleast a little bit with someone maybe to get to know each other.
Why don't you try making friends with the other Indian people in your school? Or are you as much of an asshole as you come off sounding in your post with that disparaging tone towards the "nerds/geeks", in which case you need to get off that high horse you're sitting on.
Other than that, I don't see the problem. School is practically designed to have people with common interests meet each other. You'll already be meeting people with common interests when you play sports with them. If you want to find somebody else with an interest in pokemon, or drawing, or whatever, you can just *do* that and have other people see and come up to you. This isn't rocket science.
Other than that, I don't see the problem. School is practically designed to have people with common interests meet each other. You'll already be meeting people with common interests when you play sports with them. If you want to find somebody else with an interest in pokemon, or drawing, or whatever, you can just *do* that and have other people see and come up to you. This isn't rocket science.
the best way is really just to join a sports team or a club and become well known that way.
its also important to get a hold on the culture of the school (the way people speak, what is considered funny) because most schools are pretty different [at least where i am from].
it is pretty easy to not try to be cool, have a good core group of friends and have the respect of everyone, and it comes from not trying to be cool, just going about your business being social and making a name for yourself.
and Surgo as much as you want to think it works like that, it really doesn't. the world generally works like that (thankfully), but highschool does not. highschool is literally either the best time of your life or the worst time of your life, and it is pretty much 100% based on if you have friends / the respect of your school.
its also important to get a hold on the culture of the school (the way people speak, what is considered funny) because most schools are pretty different [at least where i am from].
it is pretty easy to not try to be cool, have a good core group of friends and have the respect of everyone, and it comes from not trying to be cool, just going about your business being social and making a name for yourself.
and Surgo as much as you want to think it works like that, it really doesn't. the world generally works like that (thankfully), but highschool does not. highschool is literally either the best time of your life or the worst time of your life, and it is pretty much 100% based on if you have friends / the respect of your school.
well the point is if the club is for the wrong thing (ie something not generally respected by the masses) then it will be hard to be respected by the masses.
and the amount of senseless bullying that happens in highschool can make it a nightmare if you arent a well respected person.
and the amount of senseless bullying that happens in highschool can make it a nightmare if you arent a well respected person.
I'm also Indian American, and honestly, I think you should give your Indian buddies a chance. My best friends from high school were Indian, and now, after a year of college, we're going on a road trip together to San Diego. Odds are, they're not as nerdy as you think: at least for me, my friends enjoy basketball, football, booze, Halo, CoD, whatever.
@Jackal: so true. Aside from my friends, people in high school didn't really like me, and I was the loner pretty much.
But nothing changes in college, except that instead of denigrating you, people just ignore you.
A lot of Indians, myself included, dislike being from India. The fact is, Americans dislike us, "otherize" us, and denigrate us whenever they get the chance. From extra security checks at the airport to mocking imitations of some people's accents to a feigned, scornful, interest in our cultures and religions (actually they just want to tout the superiority of American traditions), American racism will never die.
This is ten times worse in high school. After that, some Americans actually grow a brain and respect people from other cultures. Most don't.
Just fyi, I use the name "Matt" rather than my Indian name in public, and I disavow my identity wherever possible. I think most people are under the impression that I'm Mexican, lol.
@Jackal: so true. Aside from my friends, people in high school didn't really like me, and I was the loner pretty much.
But nothing changes in college, except that instead of denigrating you, people just ignore you.
A lot of Indians, myself included, dislike being from India. The fact is, Americans dislike us, "otherize" us, and denigrate us whenever they get the chance. From extra security checks at the airport to mocking imitations of some people's accents to a feigned, scornful, interest in our cultures and religions (actually they just want to tout the superiority of American traditions), American racism will never die.
This is ten times worse in high school. After that, some Americans actually grow a brain and respect people from other cultures. Most don't.
Just fyi, I use the name "Matt" rather than my Indian name in public, and I disavow my identity wherever possible. I think most people are under the impression that I'm Mexican, lol.
Yeah I was going to suggest the first part of this participate in some sports!
To have friends you need to be a friend. The best way to engage with other people is through humour. If you develop a good sense of humour and a style all your own people will be attracted to you. Even if you are not the best looking or funniest person around you will be memorable. You don't need to "reinvent yourself" you need to express more of your personality.
I know from personal experience that people are attracted to confidence and to easy going people. Another great way to meet friends is to intergrate yourself in a club or group that you find interesting. If one isn't available then make one. Found the club of Super Smart Indian People and rejoice in your nerdiness. You don't have to be popular with other people only with yourself. When other people see how "cool" you are they will want to hang out with you. Once this happens you have a chance to build friendships that will last a lifetime.
I know from personal experience that people are attracted to confidence and to easy going people. Another great way to meet friends is to intergrate yourself in a club or group that you find interesting. If one isn't available then make one. Found the club of Super Smart Indian People and rejoice in your nerdiness. You don't have to be popular with other people only with yourself. When other people see how "cool" you are they will want to hang out with you. Once this happens you have a chance to build friendships that will last a lifetime.
Reinventing yourself isn't going to work. Just be whatever you're best at being rather than living a lie. If you need more confidence or whatever, work on that, but you can't just decide to be someone else and suddenly that's it.
You can do what most cool people who aren't popular in high school do. Just know you're better than those asshole jocks at the top and whatnot and wait til college when it doesn't really matter.
You can do what most cool people who aren't popular in high school do. Just know you're better than those asshole jocks at the top and whatnot and wait til college when it doesn't really matter.
That might be a problem...
And yeah, I'm and Indian American too... I don't really have much of that problem, but I've seen some Indian people with that problem. I'm a junior in high school right now btw.
I think the basis of the problem is how we're raised. I used to be really socially inept until around the 9th grade... just changed I guess. But a lot of Indian people are raised by parents who only want them to associate with Indian people, and they're not raised really to be social, seeing as thier parents are often not sure of how High School works in the states (its a hell of a lot different in India, even though thats changing now.)
You talk about that like that's a bad thing. It's not. Take some pride in your heritage, really. Or else you just come off as a wannabe. No one is going to respect you if you deny what you are. I'm not saying that you should be super conservative or anything... but don't push your indian side/parents/family away.
No one's going to respect you if you take pride in something that's never mattered to you before and didn't matter to your parents either.
Of course not. But he's putting stereotypes on Indians while insisting that he is the only one that breaks that stereotype. By putting down a group that he is a part of, he lost my respect.
I wouldn't disrespect my heritage if I were you. You should be proud of it. I'm half Arab, and in the school's talent show, I put up a traditional Jordanian dance. Everyone liked it. Some of the parents even danced along with me!
Try sticking some Pokemon stickers on you books, binders, whatever. That way you can attract some people who play Pokemon too! But don't go too overboard with the stickers.
Humor is one way to gain some reputation. Just make some good jokes, throw in a funny comment after someone talks, and you'll have friends in no time. (Or never if you tell bad jokes.)
Join a sport team. If you have the physical requirements, that is...
All in all, just be yourself. Don't be shallow and fake.
Try sticking some Pokemon stickers on you books, binders, whatever. That way you can attract some people who play Pokemon too! But don't go too overboard with the stickers.
Humor is one way to gain some reputation. Just make some good jokes, throw in a funny comment after someone talks, and you'll have friends in no time. (Or never if you tell bad jokes.)
Join a sport team. If you have the physical requirements, that is...
All in all, just be yourself. Don't be shallow and fake.
He's lost your respect because he doesn't think people that share his skin color act a certain way? Sounds like you'd rather he blindly go "oh yeah, people of my skin color rock", which is similarly pretty dumb. Why be randomly proud of being part of a group that you have no control over again?
Please consider when taking this advice that you're asking a pokemon forum how to be popular, not exactly an endeavor that will end well...
Be yourself. Don't brag, don't act like you are desperate for acceptance, and don't be a jerk. Never try to be something you are not. By being yourself you can be like the coolest dude around.
Just be yourself and make sure you are confident. Never be afraid to be different.
Just be yourself and make sure you are confident. Never be afraid to be different.
I hope you aren't making this hideous error in judgment. Don't fall into the trap of thinking "Every other indian is a nerd, therefore everyone thinks I am a nerd," because this is completely false. While there are certainly people who are quick to judge, those people are likely not even the type you'd like to have as friends anyway!
I think most people do not judge you based solely on your skin color; that is not the reason you don't have many friends. You just need to get to know people. Don't try to be something you're not or act differently just to meet people... Be yourself! If you really want to get a jump start, join sports teams or clubs you enjoy. People will get to know and like you for who you truely are, and those are the kind of friends you deserve.
I think most people do not judge you based solely on your skin color; that is not the reason you don't have many friends. You just need to get to know people. Don't try to be something you're not or act differently just to meet people... Be yourself! If you really want to get a jump start, join sports teams or clubs you enjoy. People will get to know and like you for who you truely are, and those are the kind of friends you deserve.
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here are some segestions.
1 popluarity is a bunch of bullshit anyways i have been known as the most well known and least popular guy in the school. Popularity only matters if you want to run for polictical office.
2. dont be very agressive. talk to people you see in your class and when you are going home.
3. join clubs clubs like say DECA have 100s of members with no lives. when your in a controlled environment in which there is a specific activity to do, you can socialize and it wont be to akward.
4 see 3
1 popluarity is a bunch of bullshit anyways i have been known as the most well known and least popular guy in the school. Popularity only matters if you want to run for polictical office.
2. dont be very agressive. talk to people you see in your class and when you are going home.
3. join clubs clubs like say DECA have 100s of members with no lives. when your in a controlled environment in which there is a specific activity to do, you can socialize and it wont be to akward.
4 see 3
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Why do you care about popularity? Being unpopular can make you happier. I'm not really "unpopular", but I barely fit into the groups that I hang out with. I get to talk to anyone I want, I don't have to go with social norms, I can get good or bad grades, and I can go to sleep when I want. I can watch whatever movie I feel like and can be friends with teachers. I can do whatever the hell I want. There are a surprising number of people like me and they are interesting, educated people (for the most part...). When I go to health or weight training I laugh at the people trying to act "popular". Popularity is a figment of your imagination and you should tell it to screw off.
You're not a nerd, but you're too shy to talk to the cool kids to prove it.
Whaat...
Whaat...
okay, then I guess you're right. I don't really want to be "popular". But I would really like to know how to make friends when I switch schools next year.