Dear <USER>,
You have The Most Interesting Role in the World.
Your role is so interesting that not even Tres Equis would be comparable in quality. Your role has a 100% interest rate (as determined by a random sample of >9000 people worldwide). In fact, your role has performed feats so incredible that
this list is not only accurate but grossly incomplete.
Each round, your role will revisit some of its previous exploits and relive those memories, causing something to happen. Twice each night, you may PM Yeti, "I don't always target <USER>, but, when I do, I ??? <USER>." <USER> and your role will then live through one of the following memories:
1. Your role will give <USER> "the talk." <USER> will feel so enlightened after your discussion that they will seek to return the favor by telling you who they targeted that night.
2. Your role will punch <USER> in the face. As a result, <USER> will have to fight off a strong urge to thank you and can only do this successfully by walking away and being unable to complete their action that night.
3. Your role will speak Russian to <USER>...in French. <USER> will be jealous of your superior language abilities and will, the next day, post only in a combination of Russian and French, in addition to any other post restrictions they may have.
4. Your role will win a staring contest with <USER>. Unbeknownst to <USER>, your role will actually be staring into <USER>'s soul instead of their eyes; as a result, you will learn to what faction <USER> belongs.
5. Your role will live vicariously through <USER>. <USER> will then become that target of any action intending to target you the following night.
6. Your role will give <USER> a bear hug. As bear hugs are what your role gives bears, this implies that <USER> must be a bear. Bears have not been known to type, so <USER> will be unable to post in the thread or on IRC until the next night.
Now, your role believes in living life in as interesting a way as possible, and that includes leaving certain things up to fate. As a result, the memory your role relives with <USER> will be determined 1) by RNG, and 2) AFTER you have chosen its target. There are also three other restrictions that your role places upon itself:
1) You may not target the same <USER> two nights in a row; after all, you "don't always target <USER>."
2) After you have targeted <USER> for the first time, the memory your role relives with <USER> will no longer be RNGed and will instead be the same each time you target <USER> as it was the first time; after all, "when [you] do, you ??? <USER>."
3) Following from 2, you may not target the same <USER> twice in one night, as this runs a risk of reliving multiple different things with <USER>.
You are allied with <FACTION>. As The Most Interesting Role in the World, you have already won many times over; however, to keep things fair, you "win" iff <win conditions>.