Serious LGBTQ

[Cresselia~~]

I am not sure if this applies when it comes to giving a new word other than marriage to homosexuals: "Equality does not mean the same".

I think, marriage has a lot of deeper meanings rather than just 2 people living together and paying less tax.
So, whenever I say I'm against same sex marriage, I do not intend to offend anyone. (Although I'm aware that lots of people find this bigoted and get offended.)

Think about this, it's against the laws for females to enter male toilets, and the toilets are designed differently.
But I don't think it's sexist for the toilets to be different.
I wouldn't think it's deprivation of human rights that females aren't allowed into male toilets and vice versa.

Does it make it sound less offensive?

I mean, what exactly do you want that's other than living together and paying less tax anyway?
I think you just want to be the same. In a way, it kind of implies that you want to fit into the crowd. That's not exactly equality means.

-------------------------

Disclaimer:
For a long time, I suspected that I might be bisexual.
I am not too sure, and I would say, quite confused.
But I suppose, bisexuals are kind of on the luckier side in that we/ they can kind of adjust themselves/ ourselves?
I personally would prefer to adjust.

 

[Th!nkPi]

I am not sure if this applies when it comes to giving a new word other than marriage to homosexuals: "Equality does not mean the same".

I think, marriage has a lot of deeper meanings rather than just 2 people living together and paying less tax.
So, whenever I say I'm against same sex marriage, I do not intend to offend anyone. (Although I'm aware that lots of people find this bigoted and get offended.)

Think about this, it's against the laws for females to enter male toilets, and the toilets are designed differently.
But I don't think it's sexist for the toilets to be different.
I wouldn't think it's deprivation of human rights that females aren't allowed into male toilets and vice versa.

Does it make it sound less offensive?

I mean, what exactly do you want that's other than living together and paying less tax anyway?
I think you just want to be the same. In a way, it kind of implies that you want to fit into the crowd. That's not exactly equality means.

Toilets are designed differently because men and women urinate in two different ways. Bathrooms are separated for the safety of men and women. I believe that's clear-cut. Though, I don't think it's a good example because it's not as if we're inequal. Both sexes get functional bathrooms with functional toilets.

However, I don't think same-sex love is any different. I don't think we want to be the same, but rather make you aware that we are the same in the first place. Homosexual love is not any different because it does not result in procreation. Think about this: some women are born infertile, and unable to procreate as well. Yet, they're allowed to marry men. I saw someone bring up earlier that marriage is meant to protect children, but there are plenty of married couples who don't intend to have children and are still entitled to the benefits of marriage. The ability to procreate, the rights of children, or personal religious beliefs are all poor reasons to justify the opposition of equality, with the first two being circumstantial and the latter not deserving any part in legislation.

I feel same-sex couples are having a hard time getting some people to see that because non-heterosexual people make up a small percentage of the world's population (approx 10% I believe). Barring us from same-sex marriage would be like barring left-handed people from marrying each other (approx. 10% of the world is left-handed). However deep your personal beliefs on marriage, it doesn't constitute disallowing taxpaying citizens from the rights of marriage because of who they choose to marry.

Edit: If you're confused, try avoiding labels. Instead, view sexuality as something that's fluid and not set in stone. Maybe looking at the Kinsey scale and deciding where you fall on it would be a good start. After that, if you figure you may feel attraction towards more than one gender but only prefer to act on it with one gender I think that is perfectly fine. I sometimes feel similarly. Though I identify as pansexual I figure pursuing a future relationship with a woman will be easier in the long run, but that's just because I want to have children one day.

 

[Princess Bubblegum]

What the heck are you guys on about, there are no "male and female toilets" there are only toilets. Its a device you take a shit in, lets not over complicate this.

 

[Th!nkPi]

What the heck are you guys on about, there are no "male and female toilets" there are only toilets. Its a device you take a shit in, lets not over complicate this.

I thought jynx was implying the differences between urinals and toilets. That's what the heck I was going on about! Other than that, no, there isn't much difference between the men's and women's bathrooms, save for the people who enter them.

Anyway, let's steer the discussion back on topic xD

 

[Cresselia~~]

Interesting, the Kinsey scale.

So I should stop treating homosexuality as an either or thing, but rather, it is scaled.
It seems that Kinsey scale suggests sexual orientation is not static, but changes from time to time. That's contrary to what I was informed, because I think lots of people argue that sexual orientation is not changed, is in-born, etc and they base this as their main reason to be anti-religion/ insult religious people.
(Didn't they suggest the chromosome band Xq28 had something to do with male homosexuality? I know it's not firmed, but still.)

I would say that the Chinese community is overall very uninformed. All of these information are in English, but not in Chinese.

I thought jynx was implying the differences between urinals and toilets. That's what the heck I was going on about! Other than that, no, there isn't much difference between the men's and women's bathrooms, save for the people who enter them.

Anyway, let's steer the discussion back on topic xD

Oh, ya. I didn't know you have a separate English word "urinal" for that. I thought both of them were called toilets.
Sorry.

 

[Th!nkPi]

Oh, ya. I didn't know you have a separate English word "urinal" for that. I thought both of them were called toilets.
Sorry.

Yeah, I figured you were talking about the urinals. Glad to know I was spot on with that, and no need to apologize as it was a matter of language barrier. But now you know a new word! xD

As for the Kinsey scale, it is pretty fascinating to me too. I don't think sexuality is set in stone. Sex drives and sexual preferences change all the time, don't they? Just like your preferences for personalities and looks may change I your attractions to certain genders may fluctuate. You can have a bad experience with men and heavily lean towards women for a long time, or vice versa. I personally know of a straight guy whose slight curiosity in sex with men led him to try it once with a trusted best friend (who happened to be gay). After it all, he said he didn't like it, but he was happy to confirm it. You could say he was a 1 for a little while, and went back to being a 0. In his case, had he used labels to describe how he felt, what could he have said? Bi-curious? Closeted? Possibly biromantic? It was a spur of the moment feeling, and boxing that feeling with a label doesn't really reflect the fluidity of his feelings.

Personal stories aside, what I think the Kinsey scale does the most for people is establish a way for them to gauge their gender-based sexual interests within a range, rather than force them to identity with categorized labels. Those who are sure of their interests may find these labels useful, but it's not necessary to belong to one. The Kinsey scale provides the flexibility of a system that reflects how you currently feel, without forcing you to take a stance in order to assess your preferences. It's a good tool for people who don't yet know what they like, but know that they may not be entirely heterosexual. If you'd like to learn more in this department I would suggest perusing kinseyconfidential.org . Feel free to message me too, if needed. If there's anything specific you're looking for I may be able to point you in the right direction.

As for the "gay gene," I remember covering an article on it last year (though I'm not sure if this is the one you're referring to?). Here's an article from io9 on the subject. If I remember correctly, the evidence isn't enough to conclude anything definitive, but it's definitely an interesting study with solid results. I am aware that China's government works in its own way, and they may restrict information from their citizens that may propagate ideas opposing the views of the government. It's kinda sad to see that, but I am not wholly familiar with eastern views and values either. I don't exactly have an opinion on China's government. All I can say is that I can definitely show you where to find information on these topics, in English at least.

Edit: One thing I think you should consider jynx is that people can have sex without any strings attached. That is to say, we as human beings are capable of enjoying the pleasures of sex without committing to any sort of relationship. The only reason we feel differently is simply a matter of moral values and ethics. As an example, it's possible for a single man to have sex with countless men and women, and to then settle for procreating with one woman for the sake of having children and nothing else. Is it wrong? To many people, probably. I don't think I'm personally a fan having children with someone you don't love. But it's possible, and it shows that a fluid sexuality has nothing to do with love or marriage.

So you can have feelings for women as well as men, but it doesn't mean you'll act on them. Whether you choose to pursue any feelings for women is your own decision, but it's not tied to any sort of commitment to them. Sexual attraction is an independent feeling and doesn't have to be associated with any commitments.

 

[KM]

Interesting, the Kinsey scale.

So I should stop treating homosexuality as an either or thing, but rather, it is scaled.
It seems that Kinsey scale suggests sexual orientation is not static, but changes from time to time. That's contrary to what I was informed, because I think lots of people argue that sexual orientation is not changed, is in-born, etc and they base this as their main reason to be anti-religion/ insult religious people.
(Didn't they suggest the chromosome band Xq28 had something to do with male homosexuality? I know it's not firmed, but still.)

I would say that the Chinese community is overall very uninformed. All of these information are in English, but not in Chinese.


Oh, ya. I didn't know you have a separate English word "urinal" for that. I thought both of them were called toilets.
Sorry.

Sexuality is equally as non-binary as gender is, and the oversimplification of people into straight or gay that many have been fed is rather unfair to a whole wealth of other minority groups, just as the oversimplification into female in male is unfair in other regions.

And, similar to gender, sexuality has influences both in genetics as well as (probably) some degree of inherent dependence on hormones / birth order / etc. While there hasn't been any conclusive proof to point to any one gene and say "AHA THAT'S THE ONE" (which honestly would be tremendously problematic if it ever did happen), there's been enough proof against the contrary to the point where it's ignorant to assume no genetic relationship to sexuality. (e.g. the actual argument against the "gay is a choice" rhetoric, not the "when did you choose to be straight" nonsense)

In order to understand sexuality, it sometimes helps to eliminate the word "orientation" which implies a hard-and-fast following of a specific doctrine and instead use the word "preference". Sexual preference is really what orientation is - some people strongly prefer men, others strongly prefer women, others like both, other's don't care, and other's don't like anyone at all (obviously this does not cover all orientations/preferences but you get the point).

 

[Cresselia~~]

Yeah, I figured you were talking about the urinals. Glad to know I was spot on with that, and no need to apologize as it was a matter of language barrier. But now you know a new word! xD

As for the Kinsey scale, it is pretty fascinating to me too. I don't think sexuality is set in stone. Sex drives and sexual preferences change all the time, don't they? Just like your preferences for personalities and looks may change I your attractions to certain genders may fluctuate. You can have a bad experience with men and heavily lean towards women for a long time, or vice versa. I personally know of a straight guy whose slight curiosity in sex with men led him to try it once with a trusted best friend (who happened to be gay). After it all, he said he didn't like it, but he was happy to confirm it. You could say he was a 1 for a little while, and went back to being a 0. In his case, had he used labels to describe how he felt, what could he have said? Bi-curious? Closeted? Possibly biromantic? It was a spur of the moment feeling, and boxing that feeling with a label doesn't really reflect the fluidity of his feelings.

Personal stories aside, what I think the Kinsey scale does the most for people is establish a way for them to gauge their gender-based sexual interests within a range, rather than force them to identity with categorized labels. Those who are sure of their interests may find these labels useful, but it's not necessary to belong to one. The Kinsey scale provides the flexibility of a system that reflects how you currently feel, without forcing you to take a stance in order to assess your preferences. It's a good tool for people who don't yet know what they like, but know that they may not be entirely heterosexual. If you'd like to learn more in this department I would suggest perusing kinseyconfidential.org . Feel free to message me too, if needed. If there's anything specific you're looking for I may be able to point you in the right direction.

As for the "gay gene," I remember covering an article on it last year (though I'm not sure if this is the one you're referring to?). Here's an article from io9 on the subject. If I remember correctly, the evidence isn't enough to conclude anything definitive, but it's definitely an interesting study with solid results. I am aware that China's government works in its own way, and they may restrict information from their citizens that may propagate ideas opposing the views of the government. It's kinda sad to see that, but I am not wholly familiar with eastern views and values either. I don't exactly have an opinion on China's government. All I can say is that I can definitely show you where to find information on these topics, in English at least.

Edit: One thing I think you should consider jynx is that people can have sex without any strings attached. That is to say, we as human beings are capable of enjoying the pleasures of sex without committing to any sort of relationship. The only reason we feel differently is simply a matter of moral values and ethics. As an example, it's possible for a single man to have sex with countless men and women, and to then settle for procreating with one woman for the sake of having children and nothing else. Is it wrong? To many people, probably. I don't think I'm personally a fan having children with someone you don't love. But it's possible, and it shows that a fluid sexuality has nothing to do with love or marriage.

So you can have feelings for women as well as men, but it doesn't mean you'll act on them. Whether you choose to pursue any feelings for women is your own decision, but it's not tied to any sort of commitment to them. Sexual attraction is an independent feeling and doesn't have to be associated with any commitments.

Actually, Hong Kong and Macau do not fall under the bans China issued.
So I'm not banned from any information about sexuality, and am allowed to be religious. (They aren't allowed to be religious in mainland China. Mainland China refers to China without Hong Kong and Macau)
The problem is, it simply doesn't seem to be any translations.
There are Chinese books about sexuality, but they are more about opinions/ feelings of Chinese LGBT people (They didn't even have Q when I read their stuff), instead of authorized research/ scientific stuff.
It seems that newer stuff/ more scientific stuff aren't being translated.

I think, I want to scout for information on research, classification, etc.
After checking the Kinsey scale, I just suddenly see that there are many different types of bisexuals, it was just totally surprising.

So... only 0 on the Kinsey scale is straight?
Like, 1 or 2 is slightly bisexual?
Not sure if the online tests are accurate. One rated me as non-sexual, I was like, Wha-?

 

[Photo]

Or you know fuck labels.

 

[Outlaw]

Or you know fuck labels.

I'll put you under the 'Fuck Labels' label.

 

[KM]

i'm not meaning to judge but i don't even know how you'd begin to fuck labels

dick paper cuts are a bitch

 

[Th!nkPi]

So... only 0 on the Kinsey scale is straight?
Like, 1 or 2 is slightly bisexual?
Not sure if the online tests are accurate. One rated me as non-sexual, I was like, Wha-?

The higher the number, the more you lean towards homosexuality. Being a 3 means you equally prefer men and women. 6 is exclusive homosexuality, and 0 is exclusive heterosexuality. So if you're a woman, a 1 is strongly preferring men with a slight interest in women. Does that make sense?

Also, thanks for the information on the whole mainland China versus Hong Kong and Macau. I hadn't realized that's how it works. If you're interested in researching the depths of sexuality and preferences I would again suggest that website I linked. Start off with some of the basic articles. I think if you search up "What's gender?" there's a great piece that starts off by distinguishing "sex" from "gender" and goes on from there.

Also, you really don't need an online test to tell you what your sexual preferences are. If you don't know what revs you up you probably just have a low sex drive, that's all.

Photo Outlaw Kitten Milk I'm all for humor and comedic relief, but this thread is tagged "Serious." I wasn't intending to derail it when I talked about the labels. I was just trying to respond to jynx and voice my thoughts. :)

 

[elchupo]

Well, last time I wrote I said that I wanted to come out before my 24 birthday. Well, Thursday was my birthday and on Wednesday, I came out.

Not to everybody, I came out to one of my friends, who I knew was also queer. So I basically took the safest option. I still don't know what gave me the final push to do it, but I spent all day in work before I met her crapping myself. We arranged to meet for a coffee that quickly got changed to a beer, and I told her. She told me she was proud of me, that she already knew anyway ( being gay and all), and we spent the rest of the evening drinking at hers and taking about all things gay. The whole day is a blur, and almost felt dreamlike. I couldn't believe that I was having conversations about things I had only ever spoke about in my head.

It feels strange. There was no huge relief. I guess the only overwhelming emotion is... weirdness. I guess it will take a while get used to.

I will say, as much as I spoke about, and wanted to do it, I never thought I'd actually be brave enough. So I guess that's something.

 

[Th!nkPi]

There's no instantly significant relief, but I guarantee you as you become more comfortable with yourself and start getting to talk about all the things that were usually locked away in your head you'll start to feel generally happier. Nothing brings out happiness like being true to yourself around others (at least, that's how it felt for me! *thumbs up*)

 

[elchupo]

First of all, congrats. As a newly out person, let me empathise with how weird you feel right now.

It sounds like you are experiencing similar feelings as I am after coming out. I almost feel a sense of…dread(?) that I’ve actually told someone, that it’s out there in the world and can’t be taken back. My stomach still drops every now and then when I think about the fact I’ve actually told someone.

Like you, I also felt like I had made some declaration about myself that I wasn’t so comfortable with, despite the fact that I have only really been attracted to guys and became almost obsessed with feeling like I was missing out on experiences and my youth. I am gay, but suddenly I was asking myself “wait, am I gay? Why don’t you try it once more with a girl?” etc etc.

It’s strange. I think I became obsessed with the idea of coming out and sort of expected that it was all going to be uphill from here, “it gets better” and all that. Instead, I think I’ve just started to realise that this might just be the beginning of my struggles.

I have to live as a gay person now, in every guise and way that I dared to dream about when it all just seemed like a distant fantasy. That terrifies me.

 

[Th!nkPi]

Coming out is a bit anticlimactic, right? Nothing really changes, except for the fact that "no homo" becomes "yes homo" and it's okay to talk about the same gender.

Not sure if I felt what you guys felt, but for me it feels like coming out shouldn't be about a lifestyle change. It's more about not holding it in anymore when you have something to say that may be homosexually inclined.

Okay, so side story: first time waking up in bed with another guy. That peach brandy really did a number on us xD

 

[KM]

Photo at the risk of sounding like i came out of the 70s I don't really think you should put so much stress on whether or not you're "actually" gay - if you end up falling in love / having sex with a guy and enjoying it, great, if not, great. as much as sexuality isn't binary, it's also very fluid and evolving, and social and societal influences might be pushing you into extremes that you really don't feel comfortable in.

at the same time, though, i don't think there's any harm in calling yourself gay for the purpose of simplification even if you're not exactly sure if you're gay or curious or bi or whatever. there are a lot of bisexual men and women who simply call themselves gay if they're in a relationship with someone of the same sex and straight if they're in a relationship with someone of the other sex - except for the people who really matter and need to know the intricacies of your sexual identity, there's nothing inherently wrong with simplifying it for people, or changing your mind. people don't have some intrinsic right to know your sexuality at all times, so feel free to tell or not tell them as you see fit.

a while back, i sort of had this idea of telling one person and then another and then it just all rushing out into one big explosion where suddenly everyone knows i'm gay and this massive weight is lifted off my shoulders and i can finally be myself. then i realized that's complete bullshit (for me) because I'm basically already unashamedly myself, and my actions around people who know I'm gay are not noticeably different (except for occasional references to it) to interactions around people who don't know. at the minute my personal philosophy is to tell people who I believe whose lives will actually be affected by their knowledge of my sexuality, who ask me and are genuinely curious (in the same way that someone would be about any other trait), and people who I want to tell for whatever other reason. a lot of people prefer to just immediately out themselves to everyone, but I feel like this is sort of a tacit acknowledgement of the fallacy that you're a new or changed person, and I feel like this isn't necessarily constructive to eliminating long-standing hetero-normative attitudes etc etc

tldr congrats lol <3

 

[Adamant Zoroark]

So I just came out as bisexual to my mom. Let's just say that I'm pissed. When I told her, she kept telling me how she thought I was "choosing a dangerous lifestyle" and, honestly, just about the only thought that was going through my mind was "Fuck you, mom." My dad is tolerant, but my mom is not. But, unfortunately, my dad is still in Japan. My mom also told me how I "shouldn't make this known to everyone" because "some people will stop loving you over this." I was so fucking pissed at that I was so close to telling her to go fuck herself. She clearly doesn't fucking understand that it's not LGBT people pushing their families away from them, but rather, the other way around. And besides, if I stay in the closet, the bigots win. I can't let that happen.

Even though I lean more towards preferring women, I feel like I need to date men for a while just to spite my mom and pressure her into acceptance. I know her, and know for a fact that she will not move an inch on her ultra-conservative thinks-it's-a-choice views unless I fight adamantly to do so. I'd rather deal with lots of her shit now if it means she won't give me any shit later in life. But maybe it's just my current rage towards her talking, I don't know.

 

[Oglemi]

I understand the frustration you feel about your mom, but her worry is coming from an actual concern for your safety, and an ignorance about how gays actually live in day to day life. To "get back at her" or to purposefully do things to spite or anger her is not the right direction to take.

The best thing to do would be to sit down with her periodically, and actually educate her on how gays and bisexuals live. Ensure her that you are no different in personality or the actions you would take in life because of your sexuality (beyond sexual partners). Let her know that you will remain safe, practice safe sex when the time comes, and explain how your sexuality works. Explain to her how you feel about both girls and boys, and where you see yourself in the future in that context.

She only wants to see you safe, and she doesn't want to see you be hurt emotionally or otherwise by other people or your own family. Please keep that in mind in your future interactions with her.

You may never convince her that being gay or bi is not a choice, but she will most likely come to terms that you are choosing to do so and the fact that your dad is what seems to be on board is a good sign that she may shift her views as time goes on and the longer you've been out. If you choose to do things to spite her she will react in the typical conservative motherly fashion and think you are pushing her away and "acting out", not trying to prove a point or live how you will for the future.

 

[Adamant Zoroark]

Yeah, I do tend to blow things out of proportion, and I am fully aware that I need to stop that. So, yeah, I just guess this is me blowing things out of proportion again. Ha ha, don't mind me. I need to get help...

 

[Cresselia~~]

So I just came out as bisexual to my mom. Let's just say that I'm pissed. When I told her, she kept telling me how she thought I was "choosing a dangerous lifestyle" and, honestly, just about the only thought that was going through my mind was "Fuck you, mom." My dad is tolerant, but my mom is not. But, unfortunately, my dad is still in Japan. My mom also told me how I "shouldn't make this known to everyone" because "some people will stop loving you over this." I was so fucking pissed at that I was so close to telling her to go fuck herself. She clearly doesn't fucking understand that it's not LGBT people pushing their families away from them, but rather, the other way around. And besides, if I stay in the closet, the bigots win. I can't let that happen.

Even though I lean more towards preferring women, I feel like I need to date men for a while just to spite my mom and pressure her into acceptance. I know her, and know for a fact that she will not move an inch on her ultra-conservative thinks-it's-a-choice views unless I fight adamantly to do so. I'd rather deal with lots of her shit now if it means she won't give me any shit later in life. But maybe it's just my current rage towards her talking, I don't know.

How is bisexuality even a dangerous lifestyle when you obviously can choose to date any sex anyway?
I think your mum is just being ignorant.
Seriously, as long as you date people from another sex, you are not committing any sin from any religion. So where's the "dangerous" lifestyle?
Come on, the lucky thing about a bisexual over homosexual is at least bisexuals can choose, and can choose not to violate any religious commitment. Duh.

Anyway, I told my dad and boyfriend about it, and both of them are completely ok with it.
Still am not wanting to tell my mum though, she's probably as ignorant as your mum is.
She probably won't be able to understand what it is. "So, is it homo or straight? I don't think you are homo though, I think you worry to much"
There was a time when I told her I was suspecting that I was homo, she just said that I worry to much and scare myself.

I don't know.
I think I'll wait till she has a good understanding of what it is.
She is paying attention towards these things, because she is religious. So her knowledge will grow steadily. (but maybe slowly)


(So I came out on Smogon. I hope it's not the end of the world.)

 

[KM]

How is bisexuality even a dangerous lifestyle when you obviously can choose to date any sex anyway?
I think your mum is just being ignorant.
Seriously, as long as you date people from another sex, you are not committing any sin from any religion. So where's the "dangerous" lifestyle?
Come on, the lucky thing about a bisexual over homosexual is at least bisexuals can choose, and can choose not to violate any religious commitment. Duh.

Anyway, I told my dad and boyfriend about it, and both of them are completely ok with it.
Still am not wanting to tell my mum though, she's probably as ignorant as your mum is.
She probably won't be able to understand what it is. "So, is it homo or straight? I don't think you are homo though, I think you worry to much"
There was a time when I told her I was suspecting that I was homo, she just said that I worry to much and scare myself.

I don't know.
I think I'll wait till she has a good understanding of what it is.
She is paying attention towards these things, because she is religious. So her knowledge will grow steadily. (but maybe slowly)


(So I came out on Smogon. I hope it's not the end of the world.)

Bisexuals don't have the ability to "choose" which sex they date from - at least, if they want to stay true to their bisexuality, they don't have any more choice of who they fall in love / become romantically attracted to than heterosexuals or homosexuals do. If you're suggesting that Lucarioarkz stay in the closet - essentially - and only date people of the opposite sex, that's a whole other story. That's a route that bisexual people have historically chosen to take, but it's not being all too true to oneself.

And no, it's not the end of the world ;) Congrats <3

 

[EV]

(So I came out on Smogon. I hope it's not the end of the world.)

No and thank goodness we're in a place where people can come out to their cyber friends without ridicule anymore. (or at least not as much as there was when I was first exploring the Internet)

 

[Cresselia~~]

Bisexuals don't have the ability to "choose" which sex they date from - at least, if they want to stay true to their bisexuality, they don't have any more choice of who they fall in love / become romantically attracted to than heterosexuals or homosexuals do. If you're suggesting that Lucarioarkz stay in the closet - essentially - and only date people of the opposite sex, that's a whole other story. That's a route that bisexual people have historically chosen to take, but it's not being all too true to oneself.

And no, it's not the end of the world ;) Congrats <3

Why not?
You have a group of people from both sexes that turn you on/ or derive pleasure from, so why can't you choose which ones you want?
It's not called staying in the closet.
You can still tell everybody that you are bisexual, and you get turned on occasionally by people of the same sex.
I told my dad that I get turned on when I see the covers of porn magazines that were meant to be for men.

But you don't have to necessarily date them. Dating is not a natural response.

Most people don't choose who they fall in love with, but what are the chances of those people being in love with you also?
Even if you are hetero, the chances are still low.
Can you guarantee that the one you are dating with, is the person you loved most?
No, most cases, you'll love someone who doesn't love you. Or that someone else snatched your love before you did.

The thing different in bisexuals is that, opposite sex intercourse/ dating is still where you can find pleasure.
It's probably not like homosexuals, that they don't derive pleasure from opposite sex relationships.

Anyway, I love my boyfriend a lot and am very happy that he doesn't mind.
He's so open that his facial reaction didn't even change.
He actually enjoys me commenting about his waifu's because we are thinking about the same thing.

 

[KM]

Why not?
You have a group of people from both sexes that turn you on/ or derive pleasure from, so why can't you choose which ones you want?
It's not called staying in the closet.
You can still tell everybody that you are bisexual, and you get turned on occasionally by people of the same sex.
I told my dad that I get turned on when I see the covers of porn magazines that were meant to be for men.

But you don't have to necessarily date them. Dating is not a natural response.

Most people don't choose who they fall in love with, but what are the chances of those people being in love with you also?
Even if you are hetero, the chances are still low.
Can you guarantee that the one you are dating with, is the person you loved most?
No, most cases, you'll love someone who doesn't love you. Or that someone else snatched your love before you did.

The thing different in bisexuals is that, opposite sex intercourse/ dating is still where you can find pleasure.
It's probably not like homosexuals, that they don't derive pleasure from opposite sex relationships.

Anyway, I love my boyfriend a lot and am very happy that he doesn't mind.
He's so open that his facial reaction didn't even change.
He actually enjoys me commenting about his waifu's because we are thinking about the same thing.

Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females. The term is mainly used in the context of human attraction to denote romantic or sexual feelings toward both men and women.

Not romantic or sexual attraction to either males or females, but to both. Choosing only to date / be romantically involved with one gender because it's "easier" or because it's still "pleasurable" because you're bisexual both reinforces a lot of completely untrue stereotypes about bisexuality as well as reinforcing heteronormatism in general. You're basically giving credence to the people who say "bisexuals are just greedy 'normal' people who aren't willing to confine themselves to just fucking people of the opposite gender'.

Let me explain. If you're bisexual and you end up falling in love or getting into a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, that's great. You can be vocal about your sexuality and people won't probably give a shit - because you're in a "normal" relationship.

This is perfectly fine, and this is a very logical scenario. However, the same can not be said for actively choosing to disregard romantic or sexual attraction to people of the same gender, which is what you're advocating. Let's say, for hypothetical purposes, that I'm a bisexual man. I've recently met a gay man and we're good friends. I've started to feel both sexual attraction and romantic attraction towards him, because as a bisexual man I can easily have romantic or sexual attractions towards someone of the same gender. He confesses one day that he's "in love" with me, and then I say "Sorry, even though I'm openly bisexual, I don't date people of the same sex. I'm sexually and romantically attracted to you, but I'm choosing to ignore those thoughts due to the possibility that I can be happy in a relationship with someone whom society deems "normal" some other day".

This type of suppression of perfectly natural feelings of attraction is no less egregious than a gay person eschewing their sexuality in order to live a life that conforms to the ideals set by a heteronormative society. Sure, as a bisexual I can actually feel attraction towards people of the opposite sex, but that doesn't change the fact that (in this case) I've spurned the possibility of a romantic and sexual relationship with another human that I'm attracted to purely because it doesn't conform.

Bisexuality is not the ability to choose between being attracted to men or women. It's the ability to be attracted to people regardless of whether they're male or female, and choosing to confine oneself to a particular gender goes against the very definition of being a bisexual.