Adult Life

[SocialSocialSocial]

Hey guys, my name is River, and I'm 18 years old.
I've been 18 since August, so I haven't been legally considered an adult for very long. I hoped to look to my peers to prepare for advice, and share experiences since becoming an adult you've had.

The biggest things that have happened to me are being kicked out of my house by my mother, and calling the police on an online friend who was seriously intending to harm themselves. Whether or not they were really going to go through with it, they seem better for it, and are happy I made the call.

But yeah guys
Any advice/stories to share?

 

[Relados]

despite being 20 and a sophomore i still have 18 yo freshmen call me kid

there pretty much hasn't been any difference in life since i became an adult, but that's probably because i'm in college and not job-hunting / home-owning

 

[Cresselia~~]

I live on my own. I'd say, organizing how much to spend on different stuff was quite difficult. I don't earn much, so I no longer can act like a spoiled kid and buy everything I wanted. If I want this doll or figure, this means I need to eat cheap food throughout the month.

I think I was quite spoiled. That makes it difficult for me to choose what's really necessary (to buy).
Thankfully though, now I can sell my old toys off the internet. So I can just sell the ones that I don't love.

 

[Camden]

Honestly, after being done with the routine that is high school, life has just floated along for me. Time passes like it's nothing and I still feel like I just moved out of my parent's place even though I did that 3 years ago. My best advice is to find a rhythm and go with it, but make sure you can enjoy the flow. Once you're out of school, you find a decent job, a nice place to live, and as long as you can manage to keep your finances consistent you're golden. I used to want to go back to being a child because I enjoyed the freedoms of it, but honestly, I didn't have many freedoms. My parents were very strict as to what I could do, obviously the law dictated many of my actions as well, and not having access to money sucked. I'm happy to be the age I am now because of all the choices available to me in life. I can go do whatever the fuck I want and as long as its within reasonable bounds no one can control me.

Life as an adult fucking rocks.

 

[SocialSocialSocial]

That actually does sound pretty great, haha, Makes me even more optimistic, and happy to be growing up.
I appreciate the response. :]

 

[The Quasar]

SocialSocialSocial, first of all you have to take care yourself. I think life is plenty of rough edges but luckily there are really wonderful things too, that always surprice you. Go for it, dude!

 

[junior]

things i've learned:
nobody is prepared for adulthood (except those really motivated and career driven high achievers)
most of us are just winging it and doing things because society says so
it's ok to be lost and not know what's happening
don't compare your progression through life to others. your journey is your own.
there will be periods when you feel completely alone because everyone is doing their own thing and because you're so used to the social environment of schools, so don't forget the things that make you happy as an individual, because once you forget it you're fucked

also you will go through a lot of major personal changes from this point on. you might become someone you absolutely swore you'd never become, you might bounce back from that. you'll try things you swore you never would. you'll meet very few great people, but you'll meet lots of temporary people. you will probably go on lots of adventures and do heaps of things you never had the chance to do.

you might legally be an adult, but have fun whenever you can and while it lasts and make lots of mistakes and learn lots of lessons and live life to the fullest. cause life is what you make it.

 

[The Quasar]

[...]
cause life is what you make it.

An old italian song (by Vasco Rossi, sung by Patty Pravo) goes something like this: "I change the life that cannot change me". Sometime it's true.

 

[Haruno]

You can do porn once you turn 18.

 

[The Avalanches]

I think the sweet freedom to do almost anything I want is the best part of being an adult. I'm nearly 20 and still live with my parents/siblings, but it's more like a roommate arrangement, everyone does their own thing. I can eat apple pie for breakfast and no one can stop me, it's truly great.

It isn't always easy, (no time of life is) I'm on leave from university after finding it too stressful and difficult to continue, but I am so excited for what I'm going to do next. I am thinking of taking a course in something that interests me more in a few months, and in the meantime, I'm looking for part time work. I still have friends from high school, a girlfriend, and you guys here on these forums.

And all the apple pie I can eat.

Adulthood is great.

 

[jeb4]

Adult here!

I play video games all day and pretend I'm a 14 yr old anime weaboo with the smogon league players who I bet still never suspect this. imo I never grew up.

 

[OLD GREGG (im back baby)]

Being that I turn 30 this year and have everything an average person could need, I will give you a couple of pointers to help you through hard times.

The most important thing, at least to me, is to continue to learn as you age. Just because you are legally old enough to purchase pornography or alcohol does not mean you have hit a mile stone. Wisdom is not measured by the passing of years but by the learning of lessons.

Possibly the next most important lesson is acceptance. Some people are at war with themselves because they can not accept that life isn't all that they imagined it to be when they were 14 years old. Life is not always easy and not always fair. Everyone needs to accept this and learn to live with it. Some things cannot be changed and that is okay. Some things we will never understand and that is okay. We are limited by time in this life. We are limited by our intelligence as well, but it is okay.

Never stop learning.
Realize your faults and flaws while embracing them knowing that perfection is unobtainable.
Always remember life goes on, no matter what.


Also don't sweat the material aspect of life. Sure there are nice things to be had and if you want them bad enough nothing will stop you from getting them. Just remember that we are all spiritual beings in a material world and that all you truly need to be content is inside you.

Regardless of how cliche that last part sounded it is the absolute truth. Unless you are a starving inhabitant of a poor third world country, you really shouldn't be complaining about shit.

 

[MJB]

I can't remember who said it, but I tend to go by a pretty simple motto in this context:

Be an adult when you have to be. Be a kid when you can be.

Seems more fun this way.

Personally I had a bit of a crisis as I was turning 20, finishing up uni and actually having to get a job and stuff. For the first time in my life I needed to be truly responsible for myself, there was no one to bail me out when i fuck up and that was pretty huge to me. Eventually I got over it and generally get by in life enjoying things while I can while maintaining a full time job and having to be competent and responsible for some major stuff.

For context I am currently 22 and living by myself in a flat (apartment for you muricans) that I paid for with a full time job. I would consider myself somewhat of a success atleast

 

[kokoloko]

here's a piece of advice: enjoy the next few years. once you start working full time and get into a long-term relationship, you won't have time for shit, so make sure you fucking adore both your job and your girl, or you will be miserable.

also you'll start missing high school in about 3 years, guaranteed. unless you were an antisocial dweeb in high school, in which case you should definitely work on that :o

 

[cookie]

here's a piece of advice: enjoy the next few years. once you start working full time and get into a long-term relationship

how can you compare a job to a relationship? A job is pretty much a necessity: but a romantic partner is hardly "essential" even if you find it very desirable to have one. If you are in a relationship that you don't enjoy, then fucking leave man. If you're only with him/her to stave off loneliness you're just denying yourself the chance to meet someone you might actually like.

 

[kokoloko]

that was kinda my point

edit: and to add on, what you said should also apply to your job. you need to enjoy both what and who you do in order to be happy :)

 

[LegionarioHumano]

As someone that has been doing this adult thing for a while now I would say never stop learning. I agree with Old_Gregg; perfection is unobtainable, but that should not stop the pursuit for improvement. I have learned that physical fitness is important to me, and have made this goal an integral part of my daily routine. My ideal when I started this process was to have the body of a Greek God, but have since learned that I more content with myself making healthier eating choices and staying physically active everyday. I have also learn to share my life with another individual - I am married, and I have learned a lot about myself through this process. Married life is hard, but you come out of the challenges you face together stronger (if the willingness to work towards a goal and to compromise is there). As far as work is concern, I am a recent hire in a job that has me meeting goals. This position has great opportunities for me to move up the corporate chain. It is exciting and nerve racking for me because this is my first job where I don't have management all in my business, but at the same time I have those responsibilities. An inescapable fact of adulthood is that, unless you are lucky enough to win the lottery, you will be doing a lot work that you might not be comfortable doing.

I guess what you can take away from my post is that adulthood can be gray and so murky; that doesn't stop time. You, me, everyone you have ever known, ever heard of will eventually die. That should not be seen as dark marker in life, but an encouragement to accept life. Do the best you can with the time you are given. Surround yourself with people you deem worthy of your time, and never stop learning!

 

[DM]

I am surprised this hasn't been said yet, but I'm 31 and I laugh at the idea that 18-/20-year-olds are "adults". Legally, yes, but for god's sake, you have no idea what it means to be a true adult. Your mid-20s are your true formative years, and you haven't even hit those yet. Unless you have already found your career and bought a house at such a young age, you have not truly stepped into adulthood. I don't even have kids yet.

Like someone said: enjoy life while it's still relatively simple.

 

[cookie]

hey i have a mortgage/job do i count as an adult

For me, being an adult is about two things:
1. independence
2. ability to support others

I partly reached the criteria for #1 before even graduating: stuff like money/bills/cooking/cleaning (basic survival skills) came naturally to me, and once I had the means to look after myself (a full-time job and on the career ladder, as it were, a year ago) that's basically it. Having a house adds a great deal of financial independence/security but it's not strictly speaking necessary.

I feel like I've only begun qualifying for #2 in the past two years or so: with shit like cancer and deaths close to my family I've had to step in and provide emotional support, which is what is typically not expected of you as a child. As you gain more life experience you can also provide practical advice and guidance to others, as well as more tangible support like monies, car lifts, putting people up for the night etc.

tl;dr adulthood isn't just about the ability to look after yourself, but others too

 

[Sarcastrophe]

I'm 17 and working.
Just worked a 6 hour shift without a break and had no money for the bus so I walked 2 hours home.
Being an adult is hard.

 

[Snowy]

I'm 18, but I've dealt with working full time jobs and providing for myself (food, shelter, etc) for a while now, so I think I can make some what of a valuable input.

The most important thing in my opinion to remember as an "adult" is that you should never be afraid to ask for help. This is huge and has gotten me through many difficult times, whether it be needing a place to sleep or just general mental support. A lot of people tend to have a mind set that asking for help makes you weak, but this is not the case and shows your willing to swallow your pride to over come things.

Get your priorities in check. This means that if you have work or some where to be the next day that you prepare for it and make sure your up and ready to go. A lot of people tend to procrastinate and wait till the last minute to do important things, because they would rather do fun or more enjoyable tasks. Fucking up like this is a good way to get fired or burn bridges, so always take into account the consequences of failing to do something when/if your procrastinating. In saying all this, it's important to make and set free time for yourself. This will keep you happy and prevent you from losing your fucking mind, as work and other activities can be stressful af.

Try new things and meet new people. Opening your horizon will expands the boundaries and limits place upon you and will allow you find things you really enjoy and are passionate about. Communicating with new people will also allow you to gain access to a lot of the things you might want to participate in.

That's really all I wanted to contribute, as I feel that listing any more things would be burdening to read. So just enjoy life, have fun and don't fuck up (to badly)

Oh, nearly forgot! Don't do meth, or any hard drugs, they will fuck you up!

 

[SocialSocialSocial]

Appreciate all the responses folks
I'm looking for a job at the moment, and will most likely be living alone(with my younger brother) in less than a year.
I think it'll go pretty well, but of course there are most likely going to be unforeseen issues.

 

[Shiny_Tyranitar]

Junior hit a lot of the nail on the head. The only think I can really think to add is not let your new freedoms go to your head: you're 18 and pretty new to "being an adult." And, unfortunately, parts of the brain that governs prudent decision making is still developing. Nonetheless, if you slip-up and do something silly, you could have a criminal conviction on your record that will follow you around for life and could cost you job opportunities or student loans if you opt to attend university. So, my advice is to never drink and drive, don't be stupid if you choose to do illegal drugs, don't develop a habit if you do, and be mindful not to take unnecessary risks with the law. It just isn't worth it.

And final thing, as HeidDoe said, ask for help if you need it. It's not a sign of weakness, and it's just good form.

 

[The Requiem]

hey i have a mortgage/job do i count as an adult

For me, being an adult is about two things:
1. independence
2. ability to support others

So many people focus so hard on point one, that they totally forget that point two is even a thing. Like I'm pushing 30 and sometimes stepping up to support someone else outside of financial means still terrifies the everloving shit out of me for fear of saying/doing the wrong thing. Being able to be a "team player" of sorts is so much more important than people let on.

 

[eden]

hey i have a mortgage/job do i count as an adult

For me, being an adult is about two things:
1. independence
2. ability to support others

I partly reached the criteria for #1 before even graduating: stuff like money/bills/cooking/cleaning (basic survival skills) came naturally to me, and once I had the means to look after myself (a full-time job and on the career ladder, as it were, a year ago) that's basically it. Having a house adds a great deal of financial independence/security but it's not strictly speaking necessary.

I feel like I've only begun qualifying for #2 in the past two years or so: with shit like cancer and deaths close to my family I've had to step in and provide emotional support, which is what is typically not expected of you as a child. As you gain more life experience you can also provide practical advice and guidance to others, as well as more tangible support like monies, car lifts, putting people up for the night etc.

tl;dr adulthood isn't just about the ability to look after yourself, but others too

So true man...I'm 20 and will be starting with college in a bit...and I feel that life is kinda pointless, if you can't look after those who gave their all for you(read your:parents),so yeah. Life as an adult is not just about you,but about those that you have loved/have loved you,and if you think otherwise you're sadly mistaken,,,,Independence is not a right people,its something you gotta earn so yea zzzz