Ok I'm going to be as nice as I can.
Warstories require a commentary, as said before, to add a little fun to it, as it shows what and how you were thinking, so people get an idea of your playing style, and can add some suspense to the story. It's like that mortar that holds bricks together, I guess.
At least your story isn't a total eyesore, Trogdor. You had a different team than the typical "omg OU Garchomp Blissey" teams I'm tired of seeing, with the Poliwrath use. Also you didn't do what I did on my first story and forget to take out the font tags. Props for that on your first. Well, you can take from this one and next time post a better, much more improved warstory.