Sorry but, as Dice said, you need to rework your prose quite a bit. Ask him on IRC if you see him since, as he said, he'd help you out with it and explain what exactly you need to change.
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CrashinBoomBang
ForgottenOnes
sure ok
ForgottenOnes
just wondering, can you tell me what is needed to be changed? I just want to know so I know where to start. Because Dice set a time limit, but I don't know what is wrong with it..