Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
Don't worry, it's pretty much the same with me, only switching the real life stuff part with temporary dodgy wifi (which will be fixed soon, I promise).
Now, best of luck to everyone (even though pretty much everyone else has said that).