Repost from skarmbliss lol with minimal editing. Obviously this is written Zogstyle and for that I do not apologise. Just thought people may find it interesting, and I like being helpful- I just would rather more people were good at pokemon so here's some SAGE ZOG ADVICE.
THIS IS A VGC 2011 TEAM IT PLACED 5TH AT WORLDS AND 5-1 IN SWISS, LOST ONLY TO TIMEOUTS FIRST TO SIX BECAUSE HE'S A SLOWPOKE + SOME HAX WHICH WAS MY FAULT BECAUSE I PLAYED DUMB A FEW TURNS, AND THEN I LOST IN THE QUARTER FINAL TO MATTY BECAUSE HE'S CHEEKY AND PLAYED PURPOSEFULLY SLOWLY TO WIN ON TIMEOUT HEHE NAUGHTY OH WELL I DON'T MIND THAT MUCH BECAUSE HE'S A LOVELY BLOKE
Both games I would have won had there been another turn, vs six I in fact only lost because of leftovers recovery and by 1hp (and a rock slide miss)
I reckon I could have given MATT COYLE a good match next round then perhaps BEATEN RAY RIZZO AND BEEN ZOG WORLD CHAMPION but obviously that didn't happen oh well lol I'LL DO IT NEXT YEAR INSTEAD
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH/Krookodile
Adamant BULKY EVS made to outspeed max modest chandelure
DARK GEM
Low Sweep
Earthquake
Crunch
Protect
Well Ace!/Tornadus
Adamant BULKY EVS outspeeding krookodile by 1 point
FLYING GEM
Acrobatics
Tailwind
Substitute
Protect
GedRidOfEm/Jellicent
Modest 90 SPEED EVS WHATEVER THEY WERE
WATER GEM
Water Spout
Ice Beam
Shadow Ball
Protect
Boppo/Amoonguss
Calm SPECIALLY DEFENSIVE MOSTLY WITH +1 SPEED POINT (I know this spread could have been better)
LUM BERRY
Spore
Rage Powder
Giga Drain
Protect
Gumshoe/Terrakion
Adamant BULKY WITH 133 SPEED LOL HOW SLOW IS THAT HE HAD LIKE NO SPEED EVS
CHOICE SCARF
Close Combat
Rock Slide
Sacred Sword
Quick Attack
IT'SANOMEN/Beheeyem
Modest BULKY WITH A BIT OF SPEED I JUST PUT SOME IN SO I BEAT MOST AMOONGUSS
Psychic Gem
Ally Switch
Psychic
Thunder Wave
Protect
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SO YEAH I just made a team out of all the BEST POKÉMON because it MADE SENSE. Bulky Pokémon that can TAKE LOADS OF HITS and DON'T DIE WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING (!!!!! very important) mean I actually win nearly every game.
Since as I said earlier at risk of sounding like fucking DEAGLE
People forget how to play pokemon. Seriously badly. YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOUR GUYS DON'T DIE GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME FAGETS. Therefore BULKY = BETTER. Ever wondered why snails are better than slugs? (yeah I have shut up)
THE ANSWER IS CLEAR BULKY IS BETTER
Additionally, ONLY PICK GOOD POKEMON THAT WAY YOU HAVE MORE STATS
and MORE STATS MEANS MORE WINNING
to some extent
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Additionally it helps to run STANDARD NON-STANDARD POKEMON which if you understand, probably dont cause youre a nob, is STANDARD POKEMON but used in a NON-STANDARD WAY.
Gems are some of the best items in the game also they make people shit themselves, tru fax. like 5 of my guys had gems. in battles this short it's like having a choice item (if anyone ANYONE mentions these again you can fuck off) but also like not having a choice item.
so like bulky terrakion which actually won me a million games, truly excellent pokemon. +speed natures by the way are SHIT I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM THEY DO NOTHING MOST OF THE TIME BUT A -10% DAMAGE PENALTY
on top of this, you should always have your +nature in the LARGEST STAT SO YOUR POKEMON HAS MORE STATS
as long as your pokemon go together well and your team isn't a piece of shit (99% of teams suck) you should always win
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in terms of ACTUAL PLAYSTYLE now this is important
PERSONALLY I THINK MY PLAYSTYLE IS THE BEST but then again IF I DIDNT THINK IT WAS THE BEST I WOULDNT PLAY LIKE THIS WOULD I (if you actually believe something, anything without actually thinking it to be the best then you're retarded so yeah what are you doing with your life)
my style of playing is to WIN by PLAYING BETTER THAN THE OPPONENT
you generally do this by DEFEATING YOUR OPPONENTS AND NOT LETTING YOUR POKEMON DIE EASILY
most people are shit at playing pokemon so remember that SWITCHES EXIST 99% of the time your opponent will do exactly what you think they are going to so TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS unless you're a mong in which case DO THE OPPOSITE BECAUSE YOU'RE PROBABLY WRONG although if you were actually right and did the other thing then you just became a mong because you were correct but decided not to be and therefore from that point onwards have become retarded lol
for example your opponent has a pokemon out that is going to kill one of your pokemon
you may be able to tell this is going to happen but still, like a complete bell end you leave it in and your pokemon just dies exactly like you thought it was going to
SHIT (BAN ME PLEASE) WHAT ARE YOU DOING remember the switch option DOES EXIST, you DO NOT HAVE TO ATTACK THAT EXACT TURN AS LONG AS YOUR OTHER GUY DOESN'T DIE TO THE ATTACK HE COMES IN ON IT'S FINE since health means almost nothing if your pokemon is fast and threatens the opponent
on a barely related note I fully believe trick room to be bullshit bollocks, this is why I use jellicent. his simple ability to just piss all over reuniclus and stuff first turn is basically a free game with already. there is a reason i went 5-1 at worlds mostly from fighting trick room. i love you jellicent and also karl pilkington is a god i bet you yanks are all like who the fuck is that bald man well youre dumb go look him up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOME SUMMARISED AND ADDITIONAL NOTES FROM THE ZOG SCHOOL OF THOUGHT (the correct one)
- Use strong pokemon and have more stats than the opponent because this is better
- Have stronger moves mostly STAB they do more damage lol if i see one more person using "coverage moves" i may die and that would be bad
- Losing one game means you have failed, work out how it happened and DEAL WITH IT because losing is always unacceptable, go to a tournament expecting to win and doing anything less is inferior. everyone is retarded sometimes but then you're so shit you lose like nearly every game look at your team and strategy and you will probably see where you are going completely wrong
- Hax is rare stop crying, in 99% of situations hax would not have happened had you not been completely shit at some point earlier in the battle. Consider how when I got flinch haxed out of Birmingham in top 2 this year, would not have happened had i not been a mong and misclicked rock slide over earthquake (because the enemy krookodile i intended to earthquake would have been dead had the intended attack gone through, by misclick I mean I thought I actually had used earthquake). Similarly when I lost to six on timer giving me that one single loss in swiss, would not have happened had i not been shit and lost my krookodile stupidly. The only time you have a right to cry is when there was literally nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening. Like huy and his double waterspout crit, took it like a man bro. I am proud of you and that was a rare example of true hax. Had every right to whine, and didn't LEARN FROM THIS MAN HE'S GOOD (although crap at vgc2011 lol what the fuck how did you do so bad).
- On a related note if you use luck items like quick claw, brightpowder etc you are probably gay and should get better at pokemon. I bet you dance around and kiss men and you probably sucked dicks last night. Lol.
- If you can't predict I don't understand you since you are obviously stupid. If you know how to play pokemon then you can predict, if you can't predict people because you don't know what every pokemon does you're also stupid, etc etc. I only had to read the full list of new pokemon like once to memorise everything and I'm me so you can do better.
- Something extremely important to remember is that most pokemon players, even if you've heard of them, probably aren't even that good. NEVER OVERPREDICT OR YOU WILL LOSE LIKE AN IDIOT. There are not many people who are actually really good. And also even if someone RNGs etc, they are still 90% likely to suck because Sturgeon's law.
- If you're the better player you're 99.9% going to win. There's a common misconception that this game is all OH SO MUCH HAX, really it is not. You can invent hax in almost anything, and hax is after all almost always invented because you should've not let it happen. This truth is another reason why Ray Rizzo is so good; I don't think enough people understand the subtle intelligence of adding "hax" as basically a suffix to anything that happens.
and if any dumbass is thinking like, OH I CANT UNDERSTAND IT ITS SO HARD TO READ no it isnt can you not read english, prick
and finally
- If you don't understand zogness, or appreciate it youre a limpdick
i'm not a limpdick
at least i dont think so
THIS IS A VGC 2011 TEAM IT PLACED 5TH AT WORLDS AND 5-1 IN SWISS, LOST ONLY TO TIMEOUTS FIRST TO SIX BECAUSE HE'S A SLOWPOKE + SOME HAX WHICH WAS MY FAULT BECAUSE I PLAYED DUMB A FEW TURNS, AND THEN I LOST IN THE QUARTER FINAL TO MATTY BECAUSE HE'S CHEEKY AND PLAYED PURPOSEFULLY SLOWLY TO WIN ON TIMEOUT HEHE NAUGHTY OH WELL I DON'T MIND THAT MUCH BECAUSE HE'S A LOVELY BLOKE
Both games I would have won had there been another turn, vs six I in fact only lost because of leftovers recovery and by 1hp (and a rock slide miss)
I reckon I could have given MATT COYLE a good match next round then perhaps BEATEN RAY RIZZO AND BEEN ZOG WORLD CHAMPION but obviously that didn't happen oh well lol I'LL DO IT NEXT YEAR INSTEAD
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH/Krookodile
Adamant BULKY EVS made to outspeed max modest chandelure
DARK GEM
Low Sweep
Earthquake
Crunch
Protect
Well Ace!/Tornadus
Adamant BULKY EVS outspeeding krookodile by 1 point
FLYING GEM
Acrobatics
Tailwind
Substitute
Protect
GedRidOfEm/Jellicent
Modest 90 SPEED EVS WHATEVER THEY WERE
WATER GEM
Water Spout
Ice Beam
Shadow Ball
Protect
Boppo/Amoonguss
Calm SPECIALLY DEFENSIVE MOSTLY WITH +1 SPEED POINT (I know this spread could have been better)
LUM BERRY
Spore
Rage Powder
Giga Drain
Protect
Gumshoe/Terrakion
Adamant BULKY WITH 133 SPEED LOL HOW SLOW IS THAT HE HAD LIKE NO SPEED EVS
CHOICE SCARF
Close Combat
Rock Slide
Sacred Sword
Quick Attack
IT'SANOMEN/Beheeyem
Modest BULKY WITH A BIT OF SPEED I JUST PUT SOME IN SO I BEAT MOST AMOONGUSS
Psychic Gem
Ally Switch
Psychic
Thunder Wave
Protect
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SO YEAH I just made a team out of all the BEST POKÉMON because it MADE SENSE. Bulky Pokémon that can TAKE LOADS OF HITS and DON'T DIE WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING (!!!!! very important) mean I actually win nearly every game.
Since as I said earlier at risk of sounding like fucking DEAGLE
People forget how to play pokemon. Seriously badly. YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOUR GUYS DON'T DIE GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME FAGETS. Therefore BULKY = BETTER. Ever wondered why snails are better than slugs? (yeah I have shut up)
THE ANSWER IS CLEAR BULKY IS BETTER
Additionally, ONLY PICK GOOD POKEMON THAT WAY YOU HAVE MORE STATS
and MORE STATS MEANS MORE WINNING
to some extent
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Additionally it helps to run STANDARD NON-STANDARD POKEMON which if you understand, probably dont cause youre a nob, is STANDARD POKEMON but used in a NON-STANDARD WAY.
Gems are some of the best items in the game also they make people shit themselves, tru fax. like 5 of my guys had gems. in battles this short it's like having a choice item (if anyone ANYONE mentions these again you can fuck off) but also like not having a choice item.
so like bulky terrakion which actually won me a million games, truly excellent pokemon. +speed natures by the way are SHIT I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM THEY DO NOTHING MOST OF THE TIME BUT A -10% DAMAGE PENALTY
on top of this, you should always have your +nature in the LARGEST STAT SO YOUR POKEMON HAS MORE STATS
as long as your pokemon go together well and your team isn't a piece of shit (99% of teams suck) you should always win
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in terms of ACTUAL PLAYSTYLE now this is important
PERSONALLY I THINK MY PLAYSTYLE IS THE BEST but then again IF I DIDNT THINK IT WAS THE BEST I WOULDNT PLAY LIKE THIS WOULD I (if you actually believe something, anything without actually thinking it to be the best then you're retarded so yeah what are you doing with your life)
my style of playing is to WIN by PLAYING BETTER THAN THE OPPONENT
you generally do this by DEFEATING YOUR OPPONENTS AND NOT LETTING YOUR POKEMON DIE EASILY
most people are shit at playing pokemon so remember that SWITCHES EXIST 99% of the time your opponent will do exactly what you think they are going to so TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS unless you're a mong in which case DO THE OPPOSITE BECAUSE YOU'RE PROBABLY WRONG although if you were actually right and did the other thing then you just became a mong because you were correct but decided not to be and therefore from that point onwards have become retarded lol
for example your opponent has a pokemon out that is going to kill one of your pokemon
you may be able to tell this is going to happen but still, like a complete bell end you leave it in and your pokemon just dies exactly like you thought it was going to
SHIT (BAN ME PLEASE) WHAT ARE YOU DOING remember the switch option DOES EXIST, you DO NOT HAVE TO ATTACK THAT EXACT TURN AS LONG AS YOUR OTHER GUY DOESN'T DIE TO THE ATTACK HE COMES IN ON IT'S FINE since health means almost nothing if your pokemon is fast and threatens the opponent
on a barely related note I fully believe trick room to be bullshit bollocks, this is why I use jellicent. his simple ability to just piss all over reuniclus and stuff first turn is basically a free game with already. there is a reason i went 5-1 at worlds mostly from fighting trick room. i love you jellicent and also karl pilkington is a god i bet you yanks are all like who the fuck is that bald man well youre dumb go look him up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOME SUMMARISED AND ADDITIONAL NOTES FROM THE ZOG SCHOOL OF THOUGHT (the correct one)
- Use strong pokemon and have more stats than the opponent because this is better
- Have stronger moves mostly STAB they do more damage lol if i see one more person using "coverage moves" i may die and that would be bad
- Losing one game means you have failed, work out how it happened and DEAL WITH IT because losing is always unacceptable, go to a tournament expecting to win and doing anything less is inferior. everyone is retarded sometimes but then you're so shit you lose like nearly every game look at your team and strategy and you will probably see where you are going completely wrong
- Hax is rare stop crying, in 99% of situations hax would not have happened had you not been completely shit at some point earlier in the battle. Consider how when I got flinch haxed out of Birmingham in top 2 this year, would not have happened had i not been a mong and misclicked rock slide over earthquake (because the enemy krookodile i intended to earthquake would have been dead had the intended attack gone through, by misclick I mean I thought I actually had used earthquake). Similarly when I lost to six on timer giving me that one single loss in swiss, would not have happened had i not been shit and lost my krookodile stupidly. The only time you have a right to cry is when there was literally nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening. Like huy and his double waterspout crit, took it like a man bro. I am proud of you and that was a rare example of true hax. Had every right to whine, and didn't LEARN FROM THIS MAN HE'S GOOD (although crap at vgc2011 lol what the fuck how did you do so bad).
- On a related note if you use luck items like quick claw, brightpowder etc you are probably gay and should get better at pokemon. I bet you dance around and kiss men and you probably sucked dicks last night. Lol.
- If you can't predict I don't understand you since you are obviously stupid. If you know how to play pokemon then you can predict, if you can't predict people because you don't know what every pokemon does you're also stupid, etc etc. I only had to read the full list of new pokemon like once to memorise everything and I'm me so you can do better.
- Something extremely important to remember is that most pokemon players, even if you've heard of them, probably aren't even that good. NEVER OVERPREDICT OR YOU WILL LOSE LIKE AN IDIOT. There are not many people who are actually really good. And also even if someone RNGs etc, they are still 90% likely to suck because Sturgeon's law.
- If you're the better player you're 99.9% going to win. There's a common misconception that this game is all OH SO MUCH HAX, really it is not. You can invent hax in almost anything, and hax is after all almost always invented because you should've not let it happen. This truth is another reason why Ray Rizzo is so good; I don't think enough people understand the subtle intelligence of adding "hax" as basically a suffix to anything that happens.
and if any dumbass is thinking like, OH I CANT UNDERSTAND IT ITS SO HARD TO READ no it isnt can you not read english, prick
and finally
- If you don't understand zogness, or appreciate it youre a limpdick
i'm not a limpdick
at least i dont think so
