This is a team I'm actually starting to like; it's won me a few battles and uses some of my favorite Pokes. It has a pretty solid defensive core with a lot of resistances and bulky Pokemon, as well as good offensive capabilities with trappers, revenge killers, hard hitters and set-up Pokemon.
Gyarados, @Leftovers
Adamant; 212 HP, 36 Atk, 100 Def, 160 Spd
Waterfall, Stone Edge, Taunt, Dragon Dance
I chose Gyarados first because it is a great check to the three things I hate most: Scizor, Lucario and Infernape. This acts as a good lead with Taunt, Intimidate and plenty of bulk and resistances to scout the opponent's team. The EVs give me a good balance between power and bulk; I can outspeed base 100 Speed walls and Taunt them before they use Stealth Rock or Thunder Wave or any of that crap while still maintaining the defenses to abuse such key resistances. Gyarados makes a decent wall-breaker and an excellent late game sweeper, plus it's a great feeling when something tries to Roar you out. ;)
New:
Snorlax, @Choice Band
Adamant; 252 Atk, 252 SpDef, 4 HP
Return, Superpower, Pursuit, Crunch
I was looking around thinking, "What, besides Tyranitar, has great Attack and soaks up Calm Minders?". The word "dur?" came to mind, and "Snorlax" came shortly thereafter. Snorlax's massive Special Defense will stop nearly all Calm Minders, and I pack Crunch for moments of desperation when Pursuit is to obvious (although I'm not sure I'll keep it). Return for STAB, Superpower for coverage, and Pursuit because it's so kewl. Now I know this is no kind of revenge killer or scout, or even as good at trapping as Scizor, but it is a great compromise.
Latias, @Choice Scarf
Timid; 4 HP, 252 SpAtk, 252 Spd
Draco Meteor, Dragon Pulse, Thunderbolt, Surf
I've been seeing Choice Scarf Latiases on a lot of RMTs and I've been eager to try one. It's worked pretty well in the few battles this team has been in; it makes a great revenge killer to the threats whom Scizor cannot handle, namely Heatran. The main reason for Latias here is its ability to outspeed and OHKO Salamence and Gyarados after their first Dragon Dance, and having another counter to Infernape is always good in case Gyarados is too weak. In addition to revenge killing, Latias is probably the best thing around to lure in Steels, which leads me to the next guy.
Magnezone, @Leftovers
Timid; 252 SpAtk, 216 Spd, 40 HP
Thunderbolt, Magnet Rise, Hidden Power Fire, Substitute
This is the Steel era. In nearly all RMT threads there are at least two Steels, and with Magnezone, this team is ready to tackle them. Like I mentioned before, Latias will lure in all the baddies for this guy to trap and Thunderbolt to hell. Magnezone's thirteen resistances aren't too shabby, either, and the synergy between Magnezone and Gyarados is phenomenal. Magnezone is another one of my favorites to use, as well as a huge asset for ridding the field of Steels and pissing people off with the Magnet Rise + Substitute combination then hitting with the strongest Thunderbolt in the game. I chose Hidden Power Fire due to the importance of OHKOing a trapped Scizor before it Superpowers me; no, I didn't forget about Gyarados, I just like to instantly remove Scizor so I don't need to worry about it Pursuiting Latias.
Gliscor, @Leftovers
Impish; 252 HP, 252 Def, 4 Spd
Earthquake, Stealth Rock, Aerial Ace, Roost
I put Gliscor in as a Stealth Rocker and sure fire Heracross counter. My goal is to get him to use Stealth Rock as early as possible so I can go about attacking and not have to worry about Focus Sashes. He is also a good check to Machamp, Tyranitar, Breloom, Choice Banded Scizor and most Lucario and, once again, provides a gamut of resistances and can fare well against the occasional Steel whom Magnezone cannot handle (I.E. AgiliGross). Gliscor is always a good addition to any team, especially one that focuses on bulky offense and needs a Stealth Rocker.
New:
Jirachi, @Leftovers
Calm; 252 HP, 252 SpDef, 4 Def
Psychic, Calm Mind, Wish, Protect
This guy will replace Blissey. He'll double as a special wall and setup. I choose a Calm Mind set because without Blissey and Toxic, Rotom will have its way with this team, unless I setup on it, and then an opposing Magnezone's plans will go straight down the tubes. Psychic is questionable as my only offense, but I chose it for its convenient OHKO on Gengar and being only resisted once by Magnezone. This is an awkward set, but it might be half of the solution.
If you have any advice at all, please, don't hesitate to comment. This is a very fun team and I want to stick with it for a while, and any input is greatly appreciated. These weaknesses are a thorn in my side, really, so let me know if you have any solutions.
Thank you all for reading.

Gyarados, @Leftovers
Adamant; 212 HP, 36 Atk, 100 Def, 160 Spd
Waterfall, Stone Edge, Taunt, Dragon Dance
I chose Gyarados first because it is a great check to the three things I hate most: Scizor, Lucario and Infernape. This acts as a good lead with Taunt, Intimidate and plenty of bulk and resistances to scout the opponent's team. The EVs give me a good balance between power and bulk; I can outspeed base 100 Speed walls and Taunt them before they use Stealth Rock or Thunder Wave or any of that crap while still maintaining the defenses to abuse such key resistances. Gyarados makes a decent wall-breaker and an excellent late game sweeper, plus it's a great feeling when something tries to Roar you out. ;)
New:

Snorlax, @Choice Band
Adamant; 252 Atk, 252 SpDef, 4 HP
Return, Superpower, Pursuit, Crunch
I was looking around thinking, "What, besides Tyranitar, has great Attack and soaks up Calm Minders?". The word "dur?" came to mind, and "Snorlax" came shortly thereafter. Snorlax's massive Special Defense will stop nearly all Calm Minders, and I pack Crunch for moments of desperation when Pursuit is to obvious (although I'm not sure I'll keep it). Return for STAB, Superpower for coverage, and Pursuit because it's so kewl. Now I know this is no kind of revenge killer or scout, or even as good at trapping as Scizor, but it is a great compromise.

Latias, @Choice Scarf
Timid; 4 HP, 252 SpAtk, 252 Spd
Draco Meteor, Dragon Pulse, Thunderbolt, Surf
I've been seeing Choice Scarf Latiases on a lot of RMTs and I've been eager to try one. It's worked pretty well in the few battles this team has been in; it makes a great revenge killer to the threats whom Scizor cannot handle, namely Heatran. The main reason for Latias here is its ability to outspeed and OHKO Salamence and Gyarados after their first Dragon Dance, and having another counter to Infernape is always good in case Gyarados is too weak. In addition to revenge killing, Latias is probably the best thing around to lure in Steels, which leads me to the next guy.

Magnezone, @Leftovers
Timid; 252 SpAtk, 216 Spd, 40 HP
Thunderbolt, Magnet Rise, Hidden Power Fire, Substitute
This is the Steel era. In nearly all RMT threads there are at least two Steels, and with Magnezone, this team is ready to tackle them. Like I mentioned before, Latias will lure in all the baddies for this guy to trap and Thunderbolt to hell. Magnezone's thirteen resistances aren't too shabby, either, and the synergy between Magnezone and Gyarados is phenomenal. Magnezone is another one of my favorites to use, as well as a huge asset for ridding the field of Steels and pissing people off with the Magnet Rise + Substitute combination then hitting with the strongest Thunderbolt in the game. I chose Hidden Power Fire due to the importance of OHKOing a trapped Scizor before it Superpowers me; no, I didn't forget about Gyarados, I just like to instantly remove Scizor so I don't need to worry about it Pursuiting Latias.

Gliscor, @Leftovers
Impish; 252 HP, 252 Def, 4 Spd
Earthquake, Stealth Rock, Aerial Ace, Roost
I put Gliscor in as a Stealth Rocker and sure fire Heracross counter. My goal is to get him to use Stealth Rock as early as possible so I can go about attacking and not have to worry about Focus Sashes. He is also a good check to Machamp, Tyranitar, Breloom, Choice Banded Scizor and most Lucario and, once again, provides a gamut of resistances and can fare well against the occasional Steel whom Magnezone cannot handle (I.E. AgiliGross). Gliscor is always a good addition to any team, especially one that focuses on bulky offense and needs a Stealth Rocker.
New:

Jirachi, @Leftovers
Calm; 252 HP, 252 SpDef, 4 Def
Psychic, Calm Mind, Wish, Protect
This guy will replace Blissey. He'll double as a special wall and setup. I choose a Calm Mind set because without Blissey and Toxic, Rotom will have its way with this team, unless I setup on it, and then an opposing Magnezone's plans will go straight down the tubes. Psychic is questionable as my only offense, but I chose it for its convenient OHKO on Gengar and being only resisted once by Magnezone. This is an awkward set, but it might be half of the solution.
If you have any advice at all, please, don't hesitate to comment. This is a very fun team and I want to stick with it for a while, and any input is greatly appreciated. These weaknesses are a thorn in my side, really, so let me know if you have any solutions.
Thank you all for reading.