Great Moments in Smogon History

By Fatecrashers. Art by Bummer.
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96 AD

According to theological scholars, the idea of Smogon has indeed been prophesied in the Bible, as evidenced by Revelations 15:8—"And the plateau was filled with smoke from the glory of a purple levitating orb and its power; and no man was able to approach the plateau, 'til the eight acts of the eight angels were fulfilled."


Benjamin Monsanto publishes Poor Smogon's Almanack, which contains precursors to the modern Smogon Pokémon analyses, in addition to the usual calendar, astronomical information, and weather forecasts for gullible people who believed that the weather could be predicted accurately for up to a year in advance. Poor Smogon's Almanack is also remembered for its bounty of aphorisms, such as "One Dragon Dance today is worth two tomorrow" and "Diligence is the mother of good hax".


Theodore "Teddy" Monsanto founds Smogon University in order to bring Pokémon education to the masses. "The Smog" is also established at this time as a newsletter for the university, with the slogan being "All the Pokémon that's fit to print". Teddy Monsanto's hirsute ursine features would eventually make him the inspiration for the name of the bear Pokémon Teddiursa.


A cash-strapped Smogon is nearly forced to shut down after mass panic selling of significantly overvalued Magikarps triggers the Great Depression. Luckily, the investments in Zigzagoons paid off and Smogon was able to return to fiscal solvency through the judicious use of Pickup.


Due to anti-German sentiments in the US, Smogon is forced to change its name to Whismur for the duration of World War II.


After a successful campaign by the Smogon lobby, New York officially adopts Koffing as its State Pokémon.


Smogon's first foray into television, "Smogon Tonight", is short-lived, but during its run it managed to popularize its oft-imitated opening call 'Live from Castelia, it's Smogon Tonight!', as well as launching the careers of Brycen, Sabrina, and Bill Murray.


Technology is incredible! The invention of the internet by Tim Berners-Lee means that now you can access your Pokémon and Smogon via PC!


Halle Berry wins the Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance in Pocket Monster's Ball, thanks Smogon in her acceptance speech.


Smogon is the first media outlet to break the shocking news story that would rock the world: that the Cerulean Pokémon Fan Club's chairman has been allegedly sexually abusing his Rapidash since at least the early 1990s.


Rupert Murdoch acquires Smogon for the price of a backpack full of SlowpokeTails, merging it into his massive News Corp conglomerate. Today Smogon is considered an indispensable branch of the Fox News family.


After enjoying more than half a century in the twin spotlights of popular culture and professional sports, Smogon's Battle of the Week is shut down due to a toxic cocktail of massively declining ratings, West Nile virus, and most bizarrely of all, kakistocracy.

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