How Cat Pokémon Think

By UberSkitty and Kalalokki. Released: 2019/07/29.

I know we all love cats, and if you don't, you're wrong. One of their more adorable attributes is their meowing! But what are cat Pokémon saying when they are meowing to themselves? What is going on in their minds? I know we all pawnder about it, so let's use the Pokémon translation machine to find out!

I love everything shiny, gemstones and treasures, even the coin on my head, and there's so much of it ready for my taking. Swipe some Pokémon here, swipe some there, and maybe swipe a couple more over there. Maybe steal some food too, I'm hungry. A bagel sounds nice right about now. Hopefully I won't get caught this time. This bagel is so fluffy and tasty. Oh no, the baker spotted me. Have to flee!

I am so regal. The boss will not be able to resist me. Look at my red gemstone, it is so much more beautiful than that odd coin thingy I had before. Wait, what do you mean there's another Persian with its eyes on the boss? With bluish grey fur and a round, plump face? That's not right, there can be only one cat for the boss!

I love rainbows, they're so colorful! They fly across the sky like an airplane! I like airplanes, they remind me of rockets! Rockets can go all the way to the moon! I like moons, I have one on my face! I like my face, it lets me smell, taste, and see! I can smell those cookies my Trainer is making! I can almost taste them. So what do I see... Is that a tail? Must catch tail!

All these Skitty are so silly, running around all over the place, making a mess of things, and getting themselves dirty. Utterly shameful, dirt is so filthy. They're nothing like myself; I'm majestic, clean, and perfect in every way, with a fur so soft and glamorous that all the female trainers desire me. But, just any trainer won't do. They're going to have to prove themselves worthy of me, because why wouldn't they?

Gotta always look my best, and the best way to do that is keeping my fur nice and clean. Lick here, lick there. Maybe I should try some of that paint my Trainer uses, may cup? There's so many variants of them to choose from: this red stick thing here, that colorful powder here, and what is this brush for? Maybe I'll just try everything at once. So sticky! This brush makes no sense. This powder itches my nose, oh no... Achoo! This was messy, I'll stick to my tongue instead.

I hate Tuesdays.

I've got to be sneaky. Sneaking around like a shark, hunting for its prey. If only my paws weren't so loud! So where's my prey? Is that a bagel in my Trainer's backpack? Time to swipe it, my hands are so nimble. It will be my delicious reward for being so sneaky, so very hard it was. Little does my trainer know how sneaky I really am. I may appear to be adorable, but inside I'm a snake. A sneaky snake, searching for my next victim.

I am faster and slicker than ever. Now they'll never see me coming. I will be the greatest of all thieves. Sneaking around the alleyways, the roofs, the streets. And my Trainer will still be oblivious because that's how slick I am. And before people know it, all their bagel shops will be empty. Maybe I'll even share some with my teammates, just to keep my cover. If only I still had hands to swipe the bagels with...

I am only a small being. The universe is large, and I am one of infinite. How do I know this? I've seen things. It all started with the [REDACTED]

There's something that's been bothering me for the last few days. I feel like I'm being followed. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eyes, but when I look there's nothing there. Strange sounds follow me, shadows whisking around everywhere I go, and it's driving me crazy. I thought I had left this old life behind me, my past can't hold me back anymore. But I can't shake this eerie feeling, maybe they're finally back, the [REDACTED]

Oh. My. God. That man is soooo handsome. I must have him. I have to find out where he's going, no matter the cost. I hope he won't think I'm crazy for following him around, but I just can't help myself, I'm just mysteriously drawn to him for some reason. Something that I can't quite put my paw on, maybe I became this way after the [REDACTED]

These neighbors, they're so loud. Can't they see I'm trying to sleep here? What are they even yelling about? All I wanted was a nice nap, but apparently not. Like, is it that hard to stop screaming? The whole world doesn't need to know that you found a dead and roasted Rattata on your door step. It was meant to be a present, sheesh...

What is this ball on my neck? I can't see it, but I can feel it. Is it a yarn ball? Is it a rubber ball? Is it a golf ball? I must see it! Where is a mirror? I see water. Water reflects things, right? Wow, the ball is a fireball! So shiny... Must play with fire ball, must play with fire ball. Wah! I have fallen in the water. I do not like water. Must get out of water. Now that I am out of the water, must play with fire ball. Wah! I have fallen in the water again.

ROARRR! I am number one. I have beaten all sorts of foes, from blue frogs and leafy birds to some strange purple floating creature. In the ring I am the greatest of fighters. Have you seen these muscles? These claws? These fangs? And of course, don't forget this fiery belt of awesomeness I have carried throughout all my victories. What? You're saying you saw me lose to some small yellow rat? ...I d-don't want to talk about it. C-can I just leave, please?

I love everything shiny, gemstones and treasures, even the coin on my head, but why should I have to take them by force? So unsophisticated. With such a pose and elegant look, people will just naturally flock to me and shower me with all sorts of treasures, all for a chance to please your greatness in person. I will have servants around me everywhere, following my every command. Now, where do I start?

I am so regal. The boss will not be able to resist me. Look at my blue gemstone, it is so much more beautiful than that odd coin thingy I had before. Wait, what do you mean there's another Persian with its eyes on the boss? With cream-colored fur and a thin face? Oh no, the boss only has room for one cat!

I is powerful. Look at my beautiful mane. It is so majestic and magical. It may seem furry, but it is made of steel. Pawerful steel. It lets me headbutt things with pawer. I is a god. What is that? Black crystal weirdo is getting close. It grabbed me! Everything... is turning... in to... D A R K N E S S

And that's what goes on in feline Pokémon's furry little, or big, heads. Meow wow! JUST DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE [REDACTED]

HTML by Lumari and Ivy.

« Previous Article