The Matches We Wanna See

By Nachos and Eraddd.
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If you've ever been involved with the tournament aspect of Smogon, then I'm sure at times you've thought "man, if only these two guys duked it out". The two guys in this case could be well-known excellent battlers, or two people who hate each other in which the battle will end with the loser being laughed at and reminded of their loss for the next few months, while the winner's e-penis will grow so long that it'll penetrate them from behind. Nevertheless, let's take a look at some of the battles people would be interested in seeing for a variety of reasons:

Krack vs Zak91

The battle that failed to happen in this year's World Cup of Pokemon. Both Krack and Zak are good battlers, but nobody cares about that. It's the fact that these two are the two biggest mutes on this forum. You'll never see Krack say anything but ‘gg', with the exception of complaining when Eo haxed him. Zak is even better or worse depending on how you look at it, and rarely even posts the battle result in the thread, preferring to let his opponent do it. Nobody knows anything else about these two men, except the countries they're in. I'd imagine the actual battle between them would be very slow and boring, with both Krack and Zak using stall, leading to a 200 turn stallfest and would make even Great Sage fall asleep.

reyscarface vs mostwanted

If you're in some circles you might have heard of the recent scandal regarding rey and mostwanted that everyone was talking about for like a week. It resulted in rey being debadged and put on ICBB, while mostwanted took a lot of flame from certain users for his actions. Nevertheless, there is now some bad blood between these users, and there are many on either side rooting for the other's downfall. Both are good players, with reyscarface being here for a while and mostwanted becoming known in the space of a year. Alternatively, rey vs the Admins and Super Moderators would make for an interesting gauntlet.

Lavos Spawn vs yondie

Newcomer Lavos Spawn is not afraid to flex his muscle, as evidenced by consistent posting in the OU and Tournament forum, as well as discussion on IRC. He went 5-1 in the WCoP too, and reached #1 on the PS ladder, truly an amazing feat indeed. His opponent though, is yondie, who has been on Smogon for a good while now and someone you shouldn't pass off as being too terrible. It was Lavos's terrible posting in the WCoP thread that set off yondie's fuse, leading to yondie telling Lavos he was not good enough for Smogon. This continued up till the final when Lavos's team (US West) beat yondie's (US East). In his own words, "I've got a trophy and he doesn't, though." This is the grudge match everyone wants to see, and I highly advise everyone to nominate these two battlers for BOTW after it returns. So, the question stands: will yondie be the ball boy or will Lavos Spawn show us all that his recent achievements are simply beginner's luck?

Earthworm vs Heist

From my experiences with Earthworm, he is a nerd who has weird hobbies, but at the same time, unlike most nerds who are nice irl and dicks on the internet, Earthworm is a very pleasant person to talk to on IRC. His protégé and fellow Team Oceania member, Heist has little of Earthworm's politeness. Utilizing his gimmicks, Heist is an unpredictable person to communicate with, both in chat and in his Pokemon playing ability. Both players have the ability to use weird sets and teams that everyone else would fail with using, yet these two can masterfully pull them off and defeat their opponents with relative ease. In a battle that would likely prove to be rich with interesting teams and good predictions, I wonder if Heist can step up to the plate and slay his master, the worm.

Kevin Garrett vs Golden Sun

If Kevin Garrett had a drop for every bandwagoner who disliked him, he'd fill an ocean. Golden Sun is different, and his legitimate hate for KG is so black and deep that it caused him to be banned due to making some offensive posts. The hate began after a battle in which Kevin got some luck on GS, therefore giving him the victory and causing GS to develop fury of an unprecedented scale. It is unknown if KG has mutual feelings, but I can imagine he wasn't too happy following the incident. Both users are tour winners and established good players. Definitely one for the BOTW once GS is unbanned.

Mekkah vs AJC

If you've ever been on #pokemon or one of its predecessors, you would know that Channel SOp and Admin Mekkah has two enemies: the 9.9 emote which to his eyes is seen as the symbol of stupidity, while the other is AJC, arguably one of the worst chatters to grace the channel. While AJC has the ability to interrupt conversations with the most random of things, it is his viewpoints that are most infuriating, as well as his admittedly bad attitude. His feelings toward Mekkah are probably mutual, and both of them would probably enjoy a chance to defeat the other and laugh at the loser over IRC. However, while AJC probably has the same amount of BW2 experience MrE has (read: one game), Mekkah likely has none and this would be a disadvantage right off the bat. I still think though, that the drama we would all look forward to is worth it for what would otherwise be a battle with generic sand and rain teams.

Scimjara vs 6A9 Ace Matador

Both of these players had excellent DPP records in the recent SPL, and have a reputation for being the best in DPP out of all the tiers they play. While am has an ego to match his record and made many enemies as a result, Scimjara is more modest and has only one known rival: the Frenchman Ojama. Both players use more interesting DPP teams than the usual Fire / Water / Grass core + Flygon, and tend to opt for more varied offense, using things such as Choice Band Dragonite and Choice Specs Zapdos leads, as well as Life Orb Gengar and Dragon Dance /Choice Band Tyranitar. If you're looking for a Gen 4 game between two top dogs, then I think this would be something to look out for.

Haunter vs Eo Ut Mortus

This will be fresh in the minds of many who viewed the recent General Suspect Discussion thread. While Haunter supported the idea of Pokemon Showdown's statistics being viable, Eo disagreed and stated that these statistics were those of the bad players only, and that tournament players were the only ones who matter. Whichever side you were on, this made for an excellent debate that had many clutching onto their buttcheeks eagerly awaiting the next post. The debate eventually became more personal, and Eo questioned Haunter's playing ability, while Haunter retaliated with a classy way of calling Eo a retard. This lovely selection of posts finally ended once other OU Council members were on the scene. Today, the people clamor for a battle between these two battlers, with Haunter utilising the mighty Metagross to its potential, while Eo has the ability to change to his superhero alias: Mortimer The Mighty Bagon.

Bloo vs McMeghan

Both of them are excellent battlers, and became more known after BW was released. Both are known to favour using rain for their playstyle, with McMeghan being the guy to introduce Toxicroak to the world while Tabloo made Gastrodon and Specially Defensive Heatran popular. Despite their achievements, this is not why the battle should happen. It is in fact because while McMeghan is the second child of the three trophies holder Earthworm, as evidenced by his status on the Groudon's Grotto PO server, as well as consistent fondling, Bloo is his sworn enemy, mischieveously changing names on IRC to e_worm or Earthworm|AFK in an attempt to harm Earthworm's good name. In a battle to decide the fate of Earthworm, we finally understand why foreign Smogoners speak like this ! and why all enemies of the worm tend to be haxed.

Philip7086 vs Stallion

Forget your usual US West vs Oceania rivalry, this one is so intense it makes even Stone_Cold take off his sunglasses to look clearly. The fairytale story started when Stallion called out Phil on his poor tie-breaker record in the WCoP. I'm sure there was a reason why he did that, but unfortunately this was a while ago and I don't go on IRC 24/7 to know everything that happens. Regardless, Philip responded that Stallion had faked his past WCoP record (which was under 50%). What followed was a bunch of unfunny posts with pictures that nobody found interesting. Anyway, this a conflict that has never truly ended, and us, The People, demand it to happen.

M Dragon vs ]V[ajinTupacZ

They're excellent at ADV, as seen by their records in the recent SPL. Majin emerged as someone who had been playing ADV for a while on a foreign forum, while M Dragon has been active on Smogon for a long time, and excels in all generations and tiers. Both of them are moreso veteran ADV players, and are therefore unlikely to spam the common MagTrio and Spikes + Gengar cores we see all the time today by newer ADV players. This would be an interesting battle that many would definitely like to see.

BlueCookies vs Wolfey

Both of them have attained massive success in the TPCi Video Game Championships, with Wolfey taking home a Regionals and US Nationals victory during the 2012 season, while BlueCookies being the two-time incumbent champion before the 2012 season. With both players making a beeline to VGC Worlds finals, it was something out of a storybook: would BlueCookies become the first three-peat champion of the world, or would Wolfey complete his season hat trick by scoring victories in all three events? The stakes were high and both competitors were regarded as near equals to one another by the time they both reached the finals. Yet, in an anti-climatic fashion, Bluecookies won 2-0, with Wolfey accidentally misclicking, using Close Combat against BlueCookies' Cresselia, putting him in a bad spot which he would eventually succumb to. While BlueCookies might have become the first and only three time World Champion, it's clear that both of these players are two of the best VGC players in the world by far, and players around the world would definitely be eager to watch another battle between these two titans, preferably in the VGC 2013 Worlds Finals.