wow. Am I surprised? No. I knew we were the better team. Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed. while we did win, and dominated the competition as usual, I don't think we played to our standard. We betrayed our true selves in a way that is so un-american maybe we should all leave the country. And that is why I come to you today. Despite our resounding victory, I will be abdicating my post as captain of Team USA for the foreseeable future, and disappearing to think about how I betrayed our beautiful nation on its biggest stage. Thank you all.