Social Online Dating

Online dating isn't for everyone, it takes a lot of trust and bond for a "Real relationship" to blossom cus neither side knows what they doing in they everyday life.
I'll be the first to admit I spent a decade+ with someone i met in a chat - still got love for her and hers to this day even to we separate and doing us and our time living together really was a rejuvenation to the soul to believe in meeting someone worth it in any realm. (The just tell me and we'll do it type bond aka relink)
I'm not against it but I'm reserved to it cus I ain't got time for "Relationship games" (since it's easier from a distance) esp now that i got so much personal expectations hitting.
There's plenty people around wherever you life to think you gotta be stuck lol.
 
anyone else have a weird dissonance between online and real life attention from people?

I get relatively much attention from women in real life, but zero from apps. I was wondering if it's about the pics I put in, but I was told they look good

It may be because I am like 6'4 and I put that on my profile and people think I am lying or something? Should I put in a pic of me with a ruler or smth?
 
Local Dog said:
anyone else have a weird dissonance between online and real life attention from people?

I get relatively much attention from women in real life, but zero from apps. I was wondering if it's about the pics I put in, but I was told they look good

It may be because I am like 6'4 and I put that on my profile and people think I am lying or something? Should I put in a pic of me with a ruler or smth?
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dude go talk to those women
 
So after a couple of months of online dating

I think at least a few percent of people on these apps have no interest in dating and only like texting with people. Like, very willing to text, far beyond the point where it's only for politeness, but have no intention to meet and continue to text after rejecting the possibility of a date, which is... Kinda bizzare

I think I will stop talking with girls who text for days and weeks and are unwilling to meet up. It's a legit time sink and honestly it's pretty annoying

Beyond that, I had some dates through Hinge. Nothing too big, no second dates so far, but it's worked out much better than Bumble. Bumble matches are a catastrophe, genuinenly weird people there I have to say
 
What's like a normal number of dates to get as a single person?

I see a lot of variance, like I see people who go on 2-3 dates per week without any results and then some who go on one every half a year and get somewhere

I had 3 dates and the possibility of a fourth that I refused (she was being EXTREMELY demanding of attention before we have ever met) since December. Is that a normal number?
 
Local Dog said:
What's like a normal number of dates to get as a single person?

I see a lot of variance, like I see people who go on 2-3 dates per week without any results and then some who go on one every half a year and get somewhere

I had 3 dates and the possibility of a fourth that I refused (she was being EXTREMELY demanding of attention before we have ever met) since December. Is that a normal number?
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It depends on how picky you are, what kind of dates they are (serious vs casual), and how active you are on the apps. A date a month is fairly normal regardless, I don't know many people that do more than a couple a month, and it depends on how well you hit it off with that person on the first date too. People that have tracked their numbers on the apps usually say it's somewhere in the 10% range of convos that ever actually lead to something.

The people you describe that only do 1 a year and get somewhere are the type that know exactly what they're looking for and are also probably not super picky when they get there, so from a distance it looks like it comes easy.

Unfortunately, as cynical as it sounds, it's all a numbers game, and everyone is playing it. But I also can't stress enough that it will hit eventually. Even my most unfortunate in love friends have eventually found someone; for some people it just takes a lot of time and effort.

I say this all as a gay man that at 24 I thought I'd never find someone. I had never had more than a couple of hookups, was living in the middle of nowhere, was super stressed from school, extremely inexperienced in dating, and was horribly unlucky on the apps in general. A year later I found my now bf and now a decade later I can't believe I was worried at all.

Just keep it at and don't become jaded or cynical, as hard as it is.
 
With my experiences with a friend (he has like 4 different exs now and it was all through online dating, and I think he met only one of them in person) and I guess personal opinion about online dating, with all that hes been through I just think that if you decide to date someone dont do it online make sure you know the person and have met up with in person, and proceed to do so if you ever intend to get serious.

Like if you're one of those people who find their life lasting partner through online dating apps nd stay with them because you aren't particularly picky of who you want, sure. You do you. Some people are like that.

I dont know how many people are like that nowadays, but if I were somebody who was considering it I wouldn't do it (even tho I'm probably never gonna get one in my life) I would rather go find someone I know and can meet in person because relationships can be made in ways in person that one can't really do online.

Anyways that's my thoughts
 
Oglemi said:
It depends on how picky you are, what kind of dates they are (serious vs casual), and how active you are on the apps. A date a month is fairly normal regardless, I don't know many people that do more than a couple a month, and it depends on how well you hit it off with that person on the first date too. People that have tracked their numbers on the apps usually say it's somewhere in the 10% range of convos that ever actually lead to something.

The people you describe that only do 1 a year and get somewhere are the type that know exactly what they're looking for and are also probably not super picky when they get there, so from a distance it looks like it comes easy.

Unfortunately, as cynical as it sounds, it's all a numbers game, and everyone is playing it. But I also can't stress enough that it will hit eventually. Even my most unfortunate in love friends have eventually found someone; for some people it just takes a lot of time and effort.

I say this all as a gay man that at 24 I thought I'd never find someone. I had never had more than a couple of hookups, was living in the middle of nowhere, was super stressed from school, extremely inexperienced in dating, and was horribly unlucky on the apps in general. A year later I found my now bf and now a decade later I can't believe I was worried at all.

Just keep it at and don't become jaded or cynical, as hard as it is.
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I am in a very similar situation as you were at 24 I'd say

It's a big advancement for me to go on dates semi regularly. My self esteem was way too low for that for a very long time
DaRotomMachine said:
Anyways that's my thoughts
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Personally I only see online dating and convos there as a vehicle towards meeting in real life. But there are people who see it differently. Had some convos with girls who were pretty annoying before ever meeting because of that
 
DaRotomMachine said:
With my experiences with a friend (he has like 4 different exs now and it was all through online dating, and I think he met only one of them in person) and I guess personal opinion about online dating, with all that hes been through I just think that if you decide to date someone dont do it online make sure you know the person and have met up with in person, and proceed to do so if you ever intend to get serious.

Like if you're one of those people who find their life lasting partner through online dating apps nd stay with them because you aren't particularly picky of who you want, sure. You do you. Some people are like that.

I dont know how many people are like that nowadays, but if I were somebody who was considering it I wouldn't do it (even tho I'm probably never gonna get one in my life) I would rather go find someone I know and can meet in person because relationships can be made in ways in person that one can't really do online.
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Am I missing something here? Online dating is just a way to meet someone for a date in real life, in your area.
 
Celticpride said:
Am I missing something here? Online dating is just a way to meet someone for a date in real life, in your area.
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You'd think so but people also use it to

Promote their of/insta/Soundcloud
Chat
Find a specific person that they've met or seen like once before
Harass people
Promote their shitcoin
I've even seen a real estate agent try to promote property on bumble

There are people who are so deep in online shit that they're absolutely unable to even consider real life connection or to differentiate between rl and online

Also (from my experiences as a straight man), femcels are 100% real and a genuine problem on dating apps
 
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