I want to give this post extra attention, partially because I feel bad drowning it out immediately talking about beating up children, mostly because Golisopod is the truth. You can slap a Silverpowder on this dude with a Sash Garchomp and your third can be imagination. Maybe not a mega since you're sucking up that with plus moves, but still!![]()
Golisopod @ Life Orb
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 4 SpD
Adamant Nature
- First Impression
- Waterfall
- Close Combat / Drill Run
- Leech Life / Protect
On the topic of ridiculous moves, let's talk about First Impression.
At a glance, the move doesn't appear all that impressive - 90 BP, only usable when it is the first move that Golisopod uses every time it comes out. However, what may not be the most well documented aspect of First Impression is that it is guaranteed to critical hit if you + it. Combined with its near-instantaneous cast (as with just about every priority move in the game), Golisopod can deal massive, nearly unreactable burst damage. It is the king of kill steals and nothing in the game comes close.
252+ Atk Life Orb Golisopod First Impression+ vs. 252 HP / 0 Def Absol-Mega-Z on a critical hit: 202-240 (117.4 - 139.5%)
252+ Atk Life Orb Golisopod First Impression+ vs. 252 HP / 4 Def Porygon-Z on a critical hit: 177-210 (92.1 - 109.3%) -- 56.3% chance to OHKO
These two Pokemon are your two primary meta targets with First Impression+. Absol Z is slippery and can rapidly clean up the entire field, and Golisopod is one of the most reliable ways of removing it as First Impression can hit before Absol can Phantom Force away. Be careful though, as First Impression can still be dodged if Absol gets off a successful pre-emptive Phantom Force, so it's generally best to wait until you see that it's been used. You may also want to wait for a round of Life Orb chip on Porygon-Z before attempting to delete it. Since First Impression is a guaranteed crit, it will also ignore Screens, so these Pokemon don't really have a chance of withstanding it.
Golisopod's fun UNLOCKS if you can pick up a Red Buff - its burst damage becomes truly heinous. Even bulky Pokemon and semi-fragile resists can be OHKOed
Red Item 252+ Atk Life Orb Golisopod First Impression+ vs. 252 HP / 4 Def Metagross-Mega on a critical hit: 186-221 (99.4 - 118.1%) -- 93.8% chance to OHKO
Red Item 252+ Atk Life Orb Golisopod First Impression+ vs. 252 HP / 4 Def Rotom-Fan on a critical hit: 151-179 (96.1 - 114%) -- 75% chance to OHKO
Red Item 252+ Atk Life Orb Golisopod First Impression+ vs. 252 HP / 4 Def Sirfetch’d on a critical hit: 165-196 (97.6 - 115.9%) -- 87.5% chance to OHKO
Red Item 252+ Atk Life Orb Golisopod First Impression+ vs. 252 HP / 4 Def Dondozo on a critical hit: 236-279 (91.8 - 108.5%) -- 50% chance to OHKO
Golisopod is perhaps one of the best ways to bully randoms online, frequently picking off common-but-bad Pokemon such as Greninja, Umbreon, Mega Gyarados, and Gardevoir. Additionally, unlike the other common assassin, Absol Z, Golisopod comes with both a low investment cost (just needs 1 bar of the mega meter!), and comes with a wonderful defensive profile courtesy of its useful resistances and solid overall bulk. It can still certainly be a respectable presence on the field even when it cannot select First Impression, though it must be careful to run away from Meteor Beams and Thunderbolts aimed its way.
I had some crap on my team like Special Life Orb Metagross (look the special aggron post inspired me to hit the Gen 4 special gross copium) and I still bodied people from the combo of Golisopod and Garchomp being outrageously good. Garchomp being on top for another meta is obviously no shock, but Golisopod is and they go great together. This duo carries so hard.
Most importantly, hearing that stupid little jolt noise followed by your big number immediately going up feels amazing. Absolutely pure hit of dopium. Give this thing a whirl.
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