At long last, I have accomplished my ultimate goal for BSS: become the circuit champion. I began to learn the basics of competitive Pokémon in December of 2019 initially just to be able to have battles with my friends. What followed in the next five years was something I would never have imagined. In my search to learn more about the mechanics of Pokemon I eventually found my way to smogon and shortly after I discovered the BSS subforum. Seeing that this was the format I had begun learning on console I decided to look into it more. Eventually I found the BSS Circuit and saw some of the games from titans of the time like Chemcoop, and I was amazed at the level of play people could reach. At that moment I had a new goal for myself, I wanted to reach that level.
Throughout most of my life I’ve always been good, but never great, at anything I’ve done. This has always been something I’ve been keenly aware an self conscious of, and it’s been the source of a lot of my motivational issues in the past, at points along this journey I was all but certain that this would be yet another one of those failures. I put in everything I had but it never seemed to be enough. Despite these thoughts, something always kept drawing me back, be it the friends I had made, the passion I felt for this silly little game, or just plain boredom, whatever it was I would always return eventually. 2024 in particular was exceptionally brutal for me, back to back runner-up into getting 3-0 shut out in the invitational semifinal. People may remember at the time that I had left all BSS and Pokémon related areas after my semifinals loss, and I was fully prepared to call it quits.
But I couldn’t stay away. I had come so close, I knew I could do it. I came back… and was shut out in round 1 of the first tournament of 2025.
And then BSS Classic happened.
Despite all odds, despite only knowing Gen 8 at a top level, despite getting paired with killer after killer after killer… I won. I had achieved my initial goal of becoming a BSS hall of famer, and at the time I was content with that.
BSS Classic was followed by another lackluster performance, going out in round 4 of BSS Masters, but at that point I didn’t mind too much. I had my major win and I was proud of myself for that. Going into the invitational, however, I felt that twinge again. I could tell myself I was satisfied with my BSS Classic win, and I was, but at the same time I knew I had it in me to win it all.
The path to finals was not easy, as expected. Ultimately though, I made it, and the entire week leading up to the final set I would lay awake at night, going over everything. Could I do it? What if I fell short again? Did I even truly have what it takes to win what would be the most important event in my Pokémon career? I know this sounds incredibly dramatic for what is ultimately just a silly little video game competition but, this meant a lot to me and even though it ultimately means very little outside of this community, I couldn’t stop myself from caring about it even if I wanted to.
The finals set came and my heart was beating out of my chest as I opened game 1. I was prepared to give it everything I had though.
And I lost. No matter, onto game 2…
I lost again. At this point, I could feel it slipping away. My back was completely against the wall, and I had to rally and win three games back to back to back, in the most pressure I had ever felt, in a format where one mistake, or even one turn of bad fortune is all it takes to lose everything. I was ready to accept my defeat, to just give up. I was ready to admit that I was nothing special after all.
But the funny thing is… you don’t need to be special to accomplish something great. I think this is what changed everything for me in that moment. I had worked too hard, given too much of myself to just give up. However unlikely, I had to keep pushing. It wasn’t over yet.
Looking back on this set I am reminded of Tanaka’s inner monologue in Haikyuu season 4, and his turning point after asking himself “… my average self, do you really have the time to be looking down?” This moment had always stuck with me ever since initially seeing it. My close friends will know that I’ve always seen myself as painfully average, and as stated earlier, it’s something I’ve always struggled with.
Bit by bit, I clawed it back, until I made it to game five. Average or not, I was determined to see this through. Despite immediately losing a piece on turn 1, I knew I still had the tools to play out the game. My heart started to flutter as Royal revealed more of his team and I started to fully grasp how much of a mistake it was to let Specs Iron Crown go. This would be an uphill battle no matter what now. Chien-Pao revealed electric tera, bringing my Dondozo to dangerously low health, and I knew that Ho-Oh would not be able to stand in the way of Calrex. I had to find an opportunity to Rest up. Mimikyu set trick room, and I knew it was now or never. I sent Dondozo in. Leftovers gave me just enough HP to survive curse’s chip damage and get the Rest off.
I was back in the game. Finally, on turn 29, I landed the burn I needed onto Calyrex. Dondozo would eternally wall it and all I had to do was not let Ho-Oh go until Mimikyu was gone, and unable to Curse me. On turn 32, that happened. Mimikyu cursed, and Ho-Oh was able to absorb it as Mimikyu went down to the recoil. All I had to do was safely position Dondozo to set up and finish off the Calyrex. Nearly 20 turns later, Calyrex finally fell.
I looked at my screen in disbelief, and then emotion washed over me. Four years of work had finally culminated in my ultimate goal. I couldn’t, and still can’t put into words what I felt at that time.
This silly little kids game might be just that, but this win means more to me than I will ever be able to describe. All the effort and heartbreak finally came together and I was finally able to sit down and be happy with myself.
Don’t ever sell yourself short, everyone has what it takes to achieve greatness.