because what if, when i taste it, i get hooked? what if i find that instant coffee perfection has been attained and it's in the form of a limited edition? it is fleeting, ephemeral, by design; when it's gone, it is gone. i will be forever chasing the dragon that was douwe egberts pure indulgence. there will be a void in my soul where douwe egberts pure indulgence used to be. it'd be just like walkers bbq rib crisps all over again, except nothing like walkers bbq rib because they brought those back not long ago. i'm sure there's a better example. anyway tl;dr this coffee might be so good it'd break my heart to see it go and that fate scares me
-
Smogon Premier League is here and the team collection is now available. Support your team!
-
Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
-
Congrats to the winners of the 2025 Smog Awards!
im worrying that buying this limited edition douwe egberts pure indulgence instant coffee was a bad idea
- Thread starter Mechalico
- Start date
Reverse engineer it. You can be the sole distributor of coffee perfection
the "real" luxury coffee tastes empty. It's kinda like vodka or sake, the more expensive it becomes, the "cleaner" it's taste becomes and the more flavor it loses. It's not as bad as vodka or sake where the goal is to have a completely flavorless drink, but it's pretty bad
your local coffee shop may sell beans that they've roasted themselves. These are usually very good. It's still rather expensive but if you drink a healthy amount of coffee, it'll probably last you a while
and don't overdo it with the perfectionism. Beans don't oxidize that quick, you can keep them in a closed vessel for months before they lose quality. you don't need an expensive portafilter, or distilled water, or really anything. I like my coffee from the french press. Grind about 15g of beans with a spritz (or a drop) of water, use 90 degree C water, stir it a bit, let it sit for a few minutes and taste it as it steeps until you're satisfied. The only "hack" that's effective is pouring the coffee over a frozen piece of metal, like a frozen spoon, I don't know why but it tastes significantly better this way and becomes immediately drinkable
your local coffee shop may sell beans that they've roasted themselves. These are usually very good. It's still rather expensive but if you drink a healthy amount of coffee, it'll probably last you a while
and don't overdo it with the perfectionism. Beans don't oxidize that quick, you can keep them in a closed vessel for months before they lose quality. you don't need an expensive portafilter, or distilled water, or really anything. I like my coffee from the french press. Grind about 15g of beans with a spritz (or a drop) of water, use 90 degree C water, stir it a bit, let it sit for a few minutes and taste it as it steeps until you're satisfied. The only "hack" that's effective is pouring the coffee over a frozen piece of metal, like a frozen spoon, I don't know why but it tastes significantly better this way and becomes immediately drinkable
They're cats not lemurs
The thing is, coffee and alcohol taste bad. People drink them despite the taste, because they have (arguably) positive side effects. But until you acquire a taste for them, they're just miserable. In some ways, the "flavorless drink" is an unreachable ideal, but it's one of those ideals we hold up because the pursuit of perfection improves us. The closer we get to a truly flavorless drink, the more control we have over its flavor profile. You can't add cranberry to isopropyl alcohol to make a cosmopolitan, but with the magic of distillation (plus cranberry, lime, and cointreau), you can somehow make vodka taste good.
That being said, my favorite drink by far is just filtered water. It tastes better than everything else and I will die on that hill. So actually the best sake is the super smooth stuff
I can't agree with coffee tasting bad. Like if you have some gross black liquid that's just bitter and sour, yeah that's no good, but if you prepare coffee properly and use good beans, it will taste great. What I love about coffee is the variety in its flavor, coffee beans can have so many distinct profiles according to how they were raised and how they were used for the drink. Coffee can taste like citrus, like plums, like honey, like cocoa, like macadamia nuts, like berries, like flowers, like cinnamon... it's like wine but even more diverse. Super luxury coffee takes away all this diversity for purity, which makes it boring and flatThe thing is, coffee and alcohol taste bad. People drink them despite the taste, because they have (arguably) positive side effects. But until you acquire a taste for them, they're just miserable. In some ways, the "flavorless drink" is an unreachable ideal, but it's one of those ideals we hold up because the pursuit of perfection improves us. The closer we get to a truly flavorless drink, the more control we have over its flavor profile. You can't add cranberry to isopropyl alcohol to make a cosmopolitan, but with the magic of distillation (plus cranberry, lime, and cointreau), you can somehow make vodka taste good.
That being said, my favorite drink by far is just filtered water. It tastes better than everything else and I will die on that hill. So actually the best sake is the super smooth stuff
vodkas number 1 purpose is dissolving chemicals that can't be dissolved by water. It's why it fits with juices and is great for cooking, it brings out certain flavors that can't be brought out otherwise. The thing is, even the cheapest, most impure vodka is so weak in flavor that it will be completely overwhelmed by everything else. That's why I don't get "pure" vodka
Sake though is honestly pretty good. Like if I see at as an option at the restaurant, I gladly take it after a meal. It's very subtle but very lively
We can agree on this at least. I don't really drink, but I do have a bottle of ginga shizuku that I keep to mark special occasions. I really think the best alcohol is stuff that goes down smooth, where it burns the back of your mouth a bit and otherwise gets out of the way to make room for other flavors.
I guess I'm willing to believe that there is good-tasting coffee out there. It seems to me like coffee itself just tastes like bitter dirt, and most of the "good" versions of it are just made better by adding a bunch of dairy and chocolate, which you can do to make basically anything taste good. If you have recommendations for where to start I'm interested. I recognize that what I just said is basically also true of tea, but I will gladly drink a cup of Lady Grey or English Breakfast without anything added. Maybe I've just acquired the taste.
I'd recommend going to a local coffee shop and to just order an espresso without sugar from their most basic beans (ususally the first beans that are on the card). If you like it, buy the beans. If you have a french press and a spice grinder, you already have everything you need. Just ask the clerks about how fine to grind the beans, it's usually a little courser than kosher salt but it depends on whether the beans are more fruity or if they're more cocao-y
Use around 10-12 grams (people will tell you to use 17 grams, but french press extracts much more) of beans. When you grind the beans, you should use a little water. If you have one of these 2ml perfume bottles, one spray is pretty much the exact amount that you need. So you can either use a tiny little spray bottle with a very fine atomizer, or you can wash your hands, leave them a little wet and then put the beans in the grinder. Then grind them to the level that was recommended
The most important part is the water temperature. It shouldn't be 100 degrees C, it should be around 90 degrees C. The less water you use, the lower your steeping time will be. Usually, around half a regular mug is the amount that I like. You can also make an espresso shot, it will taste very intense though
Put a bit of the water in there, put the grind in there, put the rest of the water in there. Stir it a bit. Don't just let it steep for a fixed amount of time, the variable for steeping time is waaaay too significant, it's like hydration for flour in breadmaking. Take a little sip every 2-3 minutes until it tastes good
When you pour the finished coffee, maybe use a frozen tea spoon to pour it over, it will somehow for some reason taste significantly better this way and the coffee becomes immediately drinkable
and that's it. French press is actually the most complex coffeemaking. A lot of people will tell you insanity about portafilters but the variation with portafilter is absolutely tiny, it's just the grind size really and that does not matter nearly as much with a portafilter as it does with french press
and please, do not drink cold brew for a start. It's insanely intense and super duper caffeinated. Also be careful with certain beans, I got some delicious cuban brew a few months ago, but it was soooooo caffeinated, I was jittery for hours from it, couldn't finish the bag despite my relatively high caffeine tolerance. And finally, limit your caffeine consumption to around 200mg, that's about one and a half french press coffees or two espresso shots