The world is a big and grand place, no one has truly dug themselves so far in that they cant find a ladder and get themselves out. The fact is, you have to want to improve yourself, to make things better. Take if from me, I am a pessimist, and asshole, and I have lost ALL the friends I once held dear. The girl I loved, gone, the best friends I had, gone, but that is life! One moment everything is there, and the next, poof, its gone. But once the smoke clears, there will be a new world around you, and from the ashes on the ground, a new S1L3NT will be born, like a magestic phoenix.
I can't make you listen to me, heck, I cant even make you read this post. But have faith in yourself, everyone has a purpose for existing, and now is the best time to find YOUR purpose in life.
I wish you luck wherever the twisting paths of life may take you, may the sun be at your back and the wind in your sails.